Letting Go

by Kennedy, Sloane

  The rage that poured through him was undeniable. He slammed his fist into her face and then closed his hand tightly around her throat. Casey was on the verge of blacking out when she felt the pressure on her throat ease. She sucked in a few wisps of air.

  “Now you listen to me. You have a choice to make. If I lose Isabel to Prescott then you lose too. Do you understand me?” When she didn’t respond, he slammed her head back against the doorframe. “Do you understand me?” he repeated in a near shout. When she only stared at him with cold, dry eyes, he pushed her away and left the room.

  Casey sank to the floor and put her hand to her throat as she tried to drag in long breaths. Her head was reeling and she couldn’t see clearly out of her right eye. She looked down and saw blood on the beautiful silver gown. Stifling a sob, Casey struggled to get to her feet. Several minutes passed before she managed to stand up. She leaned back against the wall and tried to locate her purse. Although it was only a few feet from her, it took all of her energy to reach it. She managed to pick it up but fought a wave of dizziness that nearly overcame her when she stood again. She reached into the small bag to pull out the silk handkerchief that Julia had put into the purse. Pressing it to her lip, Casey looked around the room. She spotted a small bar in the corner and slowly made her way to it.

  She found the small sink that she had hoped would be there and ran the handkerchief under the cold water and then searched the bag again for the compact mirror Julia had insisted upon. She glanced at her reflection but the tiny mirror only gave her glimpses of her damaged face. But it was enough to know that getting out of the hotel unnoticed would be a challenge. She dabbed at the remaining blood on her face and then released her hair from the pins that had been holding it up. The long tresses fell in waves around her face. She ran her fingers through the curls and hung her head to see the effect. If she kept her head down, the mass of hair would hide the marks on her face and the redness around her throat.

  Casey made her way out of the room and down the stairs. A bellboy passed her in the lobby but he didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary about her. Returning to the ballroom in her condition was out of the question. Besides, she had no idea if Elliot was still there or not. And where he was, her mother was sure to be as well. Forgoing the task of collecting her wrap, Casey rushed out of the hotel. She stopped on the sidewalk momentarily and glanced at the cabs that raced back and forth on the dark street. Without any money, they were of little use to her. As a crowd of people emerged behind her from the hotel, Casey went into action and started walking. She had no idea which way she was going; she just had to get as far away as possible.

  ***

  As Devlin was completing his remarks, his eyes scanned the ballroom. The men and women who watched him with interest were completely unaware that he wasn’t looking at them at all. From the moment he had been called to the front of the room, he’d been searching for Casey. She had been gone for nearly fifteen minutes and instinct told him that her absence went beyond the reaction she had had to their dance. Rushing the last of his comments, Devlin ignored the applause and left Howard Cragen standing awkwardly next to the podium, a heavy glass plaque in his hand.

  Devlin made his excuses to the patrons at his table and then hurried from the ballroom. All eyes watched his quick departure and then turned back to Howard who had been ushered up to the microphone. “Well folks,” he began nervously as he ran a finger under his constrictive collar. “What can I say, the man’s a workaholic.”

  Fear twisting in his gut, Devlin went to the ladies bathroom. He knocked on the door and then pushed it open. He called Casey’s name and then made a quick search of the room. She was nowhere in sight. Devlin scanned the lobby and then rushed over to the concierge.

  “I’m looking for a woman.”

  Startled by Devlin’s abruptness, the concierge replied, “I’m sorry sir, we’re not that kind of hotel.”

  “She was here a few minutes ago. She might have been in the ladies room. Blonde hair, silver dress…”

  “Oh yeah, her.”

  “Where is she?”

  The attendant glanced around the lobby as if looking for her. Devlin fought the urge to jump over the counter and pound the little man. “Well, she started to go back in the ballroom but then she changed her mind and went upstairs towards the Gold Salon. She came back down a few minutes ago; I guess she may have left.”

  “Which way did she go?” he asked frantically.

  “I’m not sure…” Devlin ignored the rest of the man’s answer and ran out of the hotel. He glanced up and down the street but didn’t see anyone. He let off a string of curses as he reached for his cell phone.

  ***

  The cold had quickly seeped into her bones but the numbness helped to dull the physical and emotional pain that Elliot’s rage had caused. Common sense told her to find a phone and call Devlin but another part of her just needed to get further away. The brutality of Elliot’s attack hadn’t surprised her. His intent had probably only been to scare her into silence but her provocation had shattered his self-control. She knew it was a stupid thing to have done but it had given her the strength she needed. Elliot had never understood that words could cause her ten times more pain than any of his beatings ever would. Her mother, on the other hand, knew exactly how to wield the powerful weapon. If it had been Caroline who had confronted her tonight instead of Elliot, Casey was sure she would have already been on the next flight out of the city.

  Casey studied her surroundings. All of the buildings were dark and some were even boarded up. She had no idea how long she’d been walking but she knew that if she didn’t get out of the elements soon she’d be in trouble. Her eyes scanned the opposite side of the street. A small church was nestled between two taller buildings. The small cross on top was dimly lit. Casey crossed the street and went to the door. It was unlocked.

  The warmth slammed into her icy body the moment she stepped inside the building. Although not much to look at from the outside, the inside of the church was breathtaking. Hundreds of candles gave the small structure an enchanted look. Old wooden pews were rich in texture and color and stained glass windows lined each side of the room. Statues of various religious figures brought life to the chapel. Exhaustion claimed her as she made her way down the row of pews. She stopped near the front and stared at the Jesus statue that stared back at her. Religion had never played a role in her life so the peace that spread through her body at the sight of the simple statue surprised her. A sense of calm filled her as she sat down in one of the pews. She sat there for a long time and simply stared at the statue as if waiting for something. When she was too tired to keep her eyes open any longer, she lay down on the hard pew and closed her eyes. She would just rest for a few minutes and then she would find a phone and call Devlin.

  Chapter 11

  As Casey heard her name being called out in the darkness, she waited for the feeling of hands closing around her arms in a brutal hold. Then she’d have to fight again and she was just too tired. She clamped her eyes shut and tried not to hear her name being repeated over and over. Why wouldn’t they all just leave her alone?

  ***

  “Sir, you should probably give her a shake to wake her up,” announced the uniformed police officer to his left. When the man made a move to touch Casey Devlin gave him a dangerous look.

  “No,” was all he said but the tone in his voice made the order clear to the officer. The man glanced at his female partner who shook her head doubtfully.

  Devlin turned his attention back to Casey and called her name again. While his first instinct had been to touch her, he knew better. When he said her name again, he saw her flinch. When he had arrived only moments ago at the church, the priest who had found Casey had tried to warn him about her condition but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. As he had carefully moved her hair from the side of her face, he had seen that her right eye was twice its normal size and swollen shut. The massive, purple bru
ise spread over the entire eye and halfway down the cheek. Another bruise started at the lower part of her jawbone and dried blood clung to the right side of her mouth where her lower lip had been split open.

  “Casey, honey, it’s time to wake up,” he said, his voice strained. If he could just get her to wake up then everything would be okay. He saw the fingers on her hand move and realized she was coming around. “Casey, it’s Devlin.”

  Casey heard his voice coming louder now. No one was grabbing on to her arms and no one was shaking her. It was just his voice. She opened her eyes but saw only blackness. She blinked a couple of times and then tried to lift her head up. Pain slammed into her head and she thought she was going to black out. She heard her name again and tried to turn her head in that direction. The splitting pain hit her again.

  “Devlin?” she asked, hoping his voice would tell her where he was.

  “I’m here.” She felt fingertips touch one of her hands. It was then that she understood why she couldn’t find him. She’d fallen asleep on the uninjured part of her face so her good eye was pressed against the wood surface underneath her. That meant she was either blind in the other eye or it was swollen shut. Figuring it was the latter, she forced her legs off the pew and tried to sit up. She felt Devlin’s hands on her shoulders supporting her. For once, she was grateful for the contact because it kept her from passing out. She managed to focus her good eye and then found Devlin kneeling in front of her. Terror was written all over his features.

  Devlin kept his hands on her shoulders until he was sure she wouldn’t fall over. “Honey, can you hear me?” he asked her.

  “Yes,” she said softly. Her voice was laced with pain but it was strong. Devlin removed his hands from her shoulders and gently pushed the hair off her face and shoulders. It was then that he saw the bruise around her neck.

  “Jesus Christ!”

  Casey watched him grab the edge of the pew for support. The blood rushed out of his hand because of the tight grip he had on the wood. She realized she must look pretty bad and patiently waited until he had composed himself again. She felt the softness of wool beneath her fingers and realized someone had placed a blanket on her.

  “How did you find me?” she asked.

  “Father Blakely found you.” Devlin motioned to the older man standing behind him. He was watching her with obvious concern.

  “Thank you for the blanket,” she said absentmindedly as her gaze drifted to the two police officers standing beside him.

  “Miss, can you tell us what happened?” asked the woman.

  Casey had to think about it for a long time before everything suddenly came rushing back to her. Devlin recognized her sudden comprehension of what was going on and let out a relieved breath.

  “Miss?”

  Casey looked up at the officer and then glanced around her lap. “My purse,” she began as she realized it wasn’t there. She turned back to the officers. “My purse, I think someone took it.”

  “You were mugged?” asked the man. He reached for his notepad.

  “Yes.” She saw Devlin staring at her but his expression was blank.

  “Did he do that to you?” questioned the man as he pointed to her face.

  “Um, yes, we struggled…I didn’t want to lose my purse,” she finished lamely. Both officers gave her a look that said they thought she was a complete fool but as long as they didn’t question it, she didn’t care.

  “Can you describe him?” asked the woman.

  “It was dark – I really didn’t see anything. I walked for a little while and then I saw this church. I just wanted to rest for a minute before I called Devlin,” she added as she glanced at Devlin.

  “Why did you leave the party?”

  “I just needed some air and before I knew it I was lost.” Casey knew she sounded like a complete ninny but everyone seemed to be buying the story, except Devlin of course. She could tell he didn’t believe a word she was saying but he kept silent.

  “Well, we’ve called for paramedics. They can take you over to St. Luke’s and get you checked out.”

  Casey shook her head and tried to stand. Devlin’s arm went around her waist. His strength was the only thing that kept her on her feet. “No, I’m okay, really. I just want to go home.”

  “Miss, you really should be checked out,” began the woman officer.

  “I’m taking her home.” Devlin helped her take a couple of steps and then stopped. Before she could protest, he had carefully picked her up in his arms. As he walked past the priest, the old man nodded to her.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “Go with God, my child,” he said softly. As Devlin carried her down the aisle, her eyes once again fell on the statue of Jesus. The statue’s warm gaze stayed with her even after Devlin had left the building.

  Devlin’s limo was waiting outside the chapel, surrounded by several police cars. Standing anxiously next to one of them were Elliot and Caroline.

  “Casey, darling, are you all right?” Caroline gushed as she moved to Devlin’s side.

  “What happened?” asked a shocked Elliot as he placed a comforting arm around his wife’s shoulder. Devlin moved with lightning speed past them and had her in the car before their presence could even register in her addled brain.

  Once inside the car, Casey had expected him to put her down but instead, he held her tightly in his lap, the good side of her face pressed against his chest. She was surprised by the action but too tired to argue with him about it. And truth be told, she was in too much pain to feel anything else anyway.

  For the life of him, Devlin could not let her go. Her battered body seemed so small in his arms that he was afraid he might be doing her more harm than good but still, he couldn’t make himself release her. He was about to insist that they go to the hospital but then he felt the even rhythm of her breathing. She was asleep. As his eyes roamed over the injuries, he had to force the rage in him away so that his grip on her remained relaxed. Every conceivable emotion raced through his mind, making it impossible to think about the next step. So he just held her.

  ***

  When Casey next opened her eyes, she was back at Devlin’s townhouse, tucked away in the warmth and safety of her bed. The room was dark but she quickly realized that it was light outside. Someone had drawn the curtains. She glanced at the clock which read 8 am. She pushed herself up on her elbows, ignoring the pain that ran rampant throughout her body. As she looked around the room with her good eye, she realized she wasn’t alone. Sitting in the armchair that was way too small for his large frame was Devlin.

  Casey tried to smile when she heard his soft snore but the sharp stinging pain on her lower lip brought her up short. She pushed the blankets off and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Waiting for the bout of pain in her head to pass, Casey finally managed to get to her feet. She went to the windows and opened the curtains and then slowly made her way to the bathroom.

  “What the hell are you doing out of bed?” His voice nearly caused her to lose her balance. Devlin was at her side instantly.

  “You promised me you would never do that again,” she muttered, her hoarse voice grating like a frog’s.

  “I’m sorry. But you need to stay in bed. Whatever you need, I can bring it to you,” he offered.

  Casey was shocked by his appearance. He was still wearing his tuxedo even though he had removed the jacket and bow tie. His hair was standing up in all the wrong places and his normally clean-shaven face was already carrying a dark shadow of growth. But it was his eyes that said the most. Beyond the exhaustion and concern was something else – it looked eerily like defeat.

  “You can’t bring me what I need right now,” she finally responded as she tried to take another step.

  “Try me,” he said, cutting her off from her path.

  She looked pointedly at the bed and then at the bathroom door just behind him. It took him a moment but then he got it.

  “Oh,” he stammered as he moved out of her
way. “Do you need any help in there?” he asked. She frowned at him. “I meant that I could get my mother to assist you.”

  “I’m fine.” Her progress was slow but she finally managed to get herself into the bathroom. She closed the door and turned towards the toilet but stopped when she caught her reflection in the mirror. As bad as the injuries hurt, they looked ten times worse. One side of her face was almost entirely purple while the other side was completely normal. A startled laugh escaped her at the sight. She glanced at the T-shirt she was wearing. Someone had obviously removed her gown and put the shirt on in its place. She could only hope it was Devlin’s mother or Mrs. Potter. Of course, with the way she looked, she doubted anyone would be able to take their attention off her face long enough to even notice the rest of her.

  ***

  Devlin paced outside the bathroom door. He stopped only to listen for any sound of distress but all he heard was the toilet flush and running water. When she opened the door, he was right there, ready to guide her back to bed. But she bypassed the bed and went to the bay window instead. He watched in horror as she proceeded to sit down in the window and stare outside.

  “Casey, you should be in bed.”

  “What happened to Isabel last night?” she asked.

  Devlin grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed and went to her. He placed the pillow behind her back and covered her with the blanket. “What do you mean?”

  “She wasn’t here this morning. Where did she sleep?”

  “In her room of course.” He secured the blanket and then leaned against the wall across from her. “Why? Has she been sneaking in here to sleep with you?” At her nod, he asked, “For how long?”

  “Off and on since the first night. This past week it’s been every night.”

  Devlin was surprised. “I sometimes found her in here in the mornings after her mom died. I had no idea she was still doing it. I’ll talk to her about it.”