by Laney Smith
“I envisioned it all a little differently. Nathan said a girl would ask me if I wanted to be a dad,” he shrugged.
“He also says he exists because I ate too much food. Ryan, I don’t expect you to just jump onboard with the whole Daddy thing. Don’t feel like you have to do that. I can talk to him.”
Ryan smiled as he sauntered closer to her. He nodded as he pursed his lips. “He did. He said that. He said I had to wait until some girl asked me if I wanted to be a dad. Crazy, huh?”
“Are you wanting me to ask you?” Corlay asked, half laughing.
Ryan plunged his hands in his pockets, leaning his shoulder against the wall beside Corlay as he studied her face. “I’ve thought about the dad thing. A lot. I’ve told you where I stand. You’ve told me plenty about what you don’t want me to do.” He reached for the sprig of hair that hung down in her face, brushing it behind her ear. He drew one shoulder up to his ear. “So, you know you could ask me . . . if you wanted me to do something. Just in case you ever want to ask me to do something.”
He smiled and pushed off the wall, gently kissing her before he sauntered out of Nathan’s room toward the stairs. Corlay smiled watching him make his way to the stairs. She wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself. She giggled as she heard Ryan call to Nathan after he was about halfway down the stairs.
“Hey, Nate! Are you ready, yet?”
She could hear the two of them conversing, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. She just knew the sounds of Ryan’s playful growl, followed by Nathan’s giggle and the sounds of his little feet racing across the floor as he ran from Ryan warmed her heart. It didn’t matter that Ryan wasn’t Nathan’s biological father. He had already been more of a dad than Evan had ever been. She was happy, listening to the family sounds in her home.
“Are you guys running in the house?” she called down the stairs.
She heard Ryan’s loud whisper. “Oops! OK, we’re gonna get in trouble. We have to settle down.”
Corlay laughed to herself. She didn’t care that they were running. She was happy they were having fun. She spoke up, more out of sympathy for Ryan and his lack of sleep.
By the time she got downstairs, Ryan and Nathan were sitting, side-by-side, on the sofa. Corlay stepped up behind them, massaging Ryan’s shoulders as she watched the game happening on the television. Ryan looked up at her and smiled.
“Hi!”
Corlay returned his smile. “Hi, yourself.”
After she watched the game for a few minutes, she dismissed herself to throw in a load of laundry. It seemed so strange that she actually wanted to do laundry. She wanted to feel “normal.” She wanted to do a normal load of laundry, in her normal home, with her normal “family.” For the first time in her life, she really felt “normal.”
~THIRTY-FOUR~
Just before sundown, Ryan started prompting Nathan to get ready to go the Priest’s house. Truth be told, their “guy’s night” seemed like a better idea, earlier in the day. Ryan just wanted to fall into his bed and become one with the forces pulling down against his seemingly heavier-than-normal body. Corlay, on the other hand, was enjoying Ryan’s softer, more vulnerable side. He seemed to cling to her as though she were the only thing holding him up. He was usually the one holding her and Nathan up. It was a nice change.
As the two sat, cuddled on the sofa, Ryan leaned his head back, while he waited for Nathan to get his shoes and whatever belongings he thought he would need for a night away from home. The boy’s energy would have been contagious under normal circumstances. Tonight, Ryan was hoping “Nana” would be willing to entertain his pint-sized guest.
“How long have you been paying on this place?” Ryan asked as he stared up at the ceiling.
“Nathan is seven, so I’ve been here for about eight years. The landlord has been very good to us. He could have raised the rent so many times, yet he never does. Every year, in December, he refuses to accept my rent payment.”
Ryan quickly sat up, looking at Corlay’s face. “You rent this place?”
“Yes, why?”
“So, where would you live if you could live anywhere?”
“I don’t know. I guess I never think about it because it’s not an option. Moving is out of the question. I love Nathan’s school. Our neighbors are amazing. It’s quiet, safe, and we all help each other out . . . like the old neighborhoods, where if you need a cup of sugar, you can go to your neighbors.”
“I see. So, you never think about living anywhere else?”
Corlay shrugged and sighed. “I see those country cottages in magazines,” she smiled. “Maybe someday. But, for right now, this has just been home. Like I said, James is a good landlord. I’d feel guilty for moving out.”
“Country cottages? What do you mean?”
“The cute, little, old stone houses with cute little, wooden front porches…lots of greenery and lots of vibrant flowers everywhere. It reminds me of a house from my childhood.”
“Your childhood? You grew up in a little cottage?”
“For a little while, yes,” Corlay smiled. “That was the first time I knew I wanted to be some sort of gardener. I love those sweet, little cottages.”
“Little? What’s little?”
Corlay shifted her body so she could look at Ryan. “Why are you asking me these questions?”
“I’m in the market for a house. I’m trying to figure out what area I should be looking in. If you’re set on staying here, then I need to look around here, I’m thinking.”
“I just left my job. I feel so scrambled. I can’t even consider moving, now. Plus, what landlord in their right mind would let an unemployed single mother move into their house? I really can’t afford to move. What have I done?” Corlay sighed.
“That’s my fault, sort of. You’ll be fine, I promise,” Ryan chuckled. “It was just a question. I’m just trying to plan and figure out what I need to do. I don’t want to buy a house that is too far for you and Nathan to come visit. I don’t want to buy a house that is uncomfortable for you. I like being around the two of you. So, I just want to get your input, I guess.”
“You’re stuck with us, remember?” Corlay smiled. “We’ll find a way to visit you. Go wherever you want to be.”
Ryan shrugged. “There’s a house in Castle Hills. Would you want to go see it with me? Maybe you could be another set of eyes. Two is always better than one.”
“Castle Hills?” Corlay asked with disappointment in her voice. “Sure. Looking at houses is fun. I’ll go with you,” she smiled sweetly.
“It doesn’t have to be Castle Hills. That’s just where this house is. I found it and then found the greenhouse. It seemed like Castle Hills was worthy of a look-see.”
“Actually Ry . . . Dad, Scottie found it,” Nathan interjected as he came into the living room, dragging what seemed like his every last worldly possession. He dropped everything in his arms and raced back upstairs.
Corlay gave Ryan a sarcastic glare. “Scottie?”
Ryan held his hands up, defensively. “Wait! Before this gets going the wrong way, I just want you to know -”
“Don’t worry about it,” Corlay interrupted. “If you can mingle with Evan and refrain from knocking him out, then I can do the same for you.”
“Oh yeah?” Ryan asked. “I wasn’t planning on going through Scottie. But, she is the one who finally found something I’m actually interested in.”
“Scottie, huh? I can do this. This is the girl who looks like a center fold?”
Ryan scooted to the edge of the sofa, resting his elbows on his knees, steepling his fingers in front of his mouth as he thought about the situation. “Don’t worry about it,” he smiled. “We’ll call someone else. I’m not worried about Scottie.”
Corlay playfully laughed. “See? It’s not easy, is it?”
“I’m tired and I’m not thinking clearly. I’m just trying to be fair and I know where my head is. Scottie is a realtor, and I happen to need one of
those. But, she’s not the only realtor. I’ll just find another one. Problem solved.”
Corlay flashed him a dignified, sarcastic look. “But, Ryan, there was no problem.”
He chuckled as he stood and looked at the mess Nathan had dropped in the middle of the floor. “What is he doing?” he asked as he pointed to the pile.
Corlay studied the pile and laughed. “Wow! Half of that stuff he hasn’t played with in two or three years.”
“And, he needs it for one night?” he rolled his eyes and called up the stairs. “Nathan, where are you at? We gotta beat feet.”
He could hear the muffled voice coming from upstairs. “Hold on just one more second.”
Within a few seconds, the little boy came barreling toward the stairs with his arms loaded, again. He dropped half of the things he carried, holding onto the rail as he carried his things downstairs. Corlay and Ryan stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching Nathan and looking at each other.
“Nate, are you bringing the sheets from your bed?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t know if you have blankets,” Nathan innocently offered.
“Oh, yeah, buddy. We have blankets. Nana has a closet filled with nice, cozy blankets. You can leave those here. What’s all the stuff in the floor down here?”
Corlay shyly looked at Ryan and whispered. “He’s never spent a night away from home in his life.”
“Ah! OK.” Ryan fought the smile, pressing against the edges of his mouth. “Nathan, we’re going to my mom and dad’s house just for one night. We’re going to sleep there. Then, when morning comes, we’ll come back here. So, all of your things will be ok here until the morning.”
“But, I want to show you my baseball cards, and Stretch Armstrong, and Mister Potato Head, and my Micro Machines. They’re from the olden days.”
Ryan sighed and bobbed his head. “The olden days, huh? OK! Well, if we need it all, then we’ll take it all. And, in the morning, we’ll bring it all back. Not a problem.”
Corlay covered her mouth, attempting to hide that she was laughing. She brushed her finger across Ryan’s chin, smiling adoringly as her eyes locked on his. “Thank you for being so much more than you have to be for -”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ryan teased as he rolled his eyes. He leaned in to kiss her. “Since Nathan and I are going to be spending the night moving, I should start loading this stuff into the car.”
“I’m sorry.”
Ryan shrugged and shook his head dismissively. “It’s not a thing.”
****
As Ryan drove toward his parent’s house, he glanced over at the little boy beside him. Nathan stared at his shoes as he kicked his dangling legs, bouncing them on the seat. Ryan tousled Nathan’s hair.
“You doing OK over there?”
“Yep!”
“You’re quiet. What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing much,” the boy answered.
“You just feel like having a quiet drive?”
“This is my favorite song,” Nathan answered.
“OK. I’ll be quiet so you can listen to it.”
Nathan looked at him and smiled. “Thanks. But, will you start it over so this time I can hear all of it without you talking?”
Ryan chuckled, scoffing as he pressed the button to start the song again. Amused by the exchange, Ryan turned his head toward the driver’s side window, as he silently mouthed the words, “Ex-cuse me.”
Nathan pulled at Ryan’s shirt as he leaned forward, straining to see Ryan’s face. “I couldn’t hear you.”
Ryan shrugged. “I was just singing. You’re right. This song is cool.”
“OK, now will you start it over, again,” Nathan huffed.
“No. Now, you’re just acting like a little schmuck,” Ryan teased.
Nathan poked his lip out and crossed his arms over his chest. “I am not a smuck.”
Moved by the cuteness, Ryan couldn’t help but chuckle. “I didn’t call you a smuck. I called you a schmuck.”
“Please, can you just start the song over?”
Ryan sighed as he pressed the button to play the song from the beginning. He looked over at Nathan and faked a smile.
“You wear me out,” Nathan said, tucking his chin to his chest, his hand sprawling across his forehead.
Ryan gave Nathan an incredulous look. “Oh, is that how it goes? I wear you out? Um-hmm! I see.”
When Ryan turned into the driveway at his parent’s house, little Nathan had fallen asleep. He put the car in park and watched Nathan sleep for a few minutes. Then, he glanced at the backseat. It looked like a toy store had blown up back there. He smiled as he recalled the memory of Nathan carrying all of his toys down the stairs to stay with him for only one night. Part of him wanted to wake Nathan up so he could enjoy his first night away from home. He quickly shook that notion from his thoughts, realizing if he didn’t wake the sleeping child, he could get some much needed sleep, himself.
He gingerly carried Nathan inside, avoiding any risk of waking the little boy. He laid the child down across the end of the bed, where he had laid before. He covered him with a cozy blanket, as promised. Then, he sent Corlay a text.
Wild party over here. Nathan zonked out on the way home. My turn. Good night. I love you!
You are wild men. I love you guys. Sleep good and have sweet dreams.
By the time her reply came, Ryan was already asleep, lying sideways on the queen size bed, too tired to care that he still had his shoes on. He was too tired to care that his feet were hanging off the side. He was too tired for anything for even another second.
~THIRTY-FIVE~
When Ryan opened his eyes, there were a pair of curious, blue eyes, illuminated by the sun pouring in the window, staring at him. Nathan had his hand under his chin, contentedly focused on Ryan’s face. Ryan’s brain raced. A dream? No. A nap? No. The memory flooded in.
Ryan let out a growl as he stretched and yawned before he sat up. “Hey, buddy! Good morning. How did you sleep?”
“I think your mom is cooking something. I smell food and it smells yummo,” Nathan whispered, sheepishly pointing toward Ryan’s door.
Ryan shifted his eyes back and forth between the closed bedroom door and Nathan. He knew Frannie faithfully made breakfast for George, every morning, just like clockwork.
“Should we go see?”
“It smells like ham and honey.”
Ryan squinted and nodded. “I think we need to know what she’s up to out there. Let’s go find out.”
When Ryan and Nathan got to the kitchen, Frannie passed Ryan a warm smile. When she realized Nathan was with him, she became animated. She wiped her hands on a dishtowel beside the stove and dashed toward Nathan.
“Oh, my goodness! Did you come to have some breakfast with me?” she played.
“No. I got to spend the night with Ry . . . Dad,” Nathan said, still trying his luck with his new title for Ryan.
Frannie cocked her head with her eyes wide as she looked at her son. “Oh, really?”
Ryan ignored the elephant in the room. “Nate said he smelled some ham and honey.”
“Well, I could get you some honey. But, the best I can do is bacon. Would you take some bacon instead of ham?” Frannie bargained.
Ryan looked at the boy. “What do you say?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Nathan answered.
Frannie stared at the boy for a few seconds before she shifted her focus to Ryan. “He’s just as cute as he can be. Precious child.”
Ryan proudly smiled as he shrugged and glanced down at Nathan. “I guess you’re alright, huh?”
“Ryan said I could call him Dad if I wanted to. He wasn’t there when my mom ate too much. He’s not my for real dad. But, he does lots of stuff that dads do. So, I just think he should be my dad,” Nathan boldly announced.
Frannie put her hand to her chest, covering her heart as she smiled a sarcastically, sweet smile. “I sure don’t think I knew that.” She stared at Ryan with a directive s
tare. “But, I’m sure if he told you that, he’s thought of every last, little thing that entails, haven’t you darling? Responsibility, guidance, consistency . . . support,” she said, emphasizing the last word. “That’s a life-long title, huh, Ryan?”
Ryan stared at his mother with a devil-may-care smirk. “I trust you know what you raised me to be, right . . . Nana?” He nodded and a wicked smile spread across his lips as he sighed. “We’re all in it together. Where is Uncle Rick, anyway?”
Frannie chuckled, shaking her head as she muttered. “You’re not too big, Ryan. I’ll still whip your ass.”
Ryan slowly blinked, nodding and smiling in amusement. “Yeah. I know.”
“So, Nathan, what’ll it be? Are you OK with bacon and honey? You want some eggs and toast, too?”
“How about no eggs and just some honey, bacon and jelly?” the boy responded.
Frannie laughed as she stared at the boy. “Oh, child. Your cousins, Courtney and Nicky try that stuff all the time. Sorry, sweetie. It doesn’t work for them, either.” She looked at Ryan with a cautioning glare. “You’re committed, now.”
Ryan shrugged. “You’re more worried about it than I am.”
“I think you’re just adrift. I don’t think you realize what you’re doing. That worries me,” Frannie confessed.
“To be fair, I’ve had about twelve hours to get used to it. So, in about twelve hours, it’ll go down a little smoother for you, too,” he teased. “It’ll be fine, Mom. I promise.”
Frannie gave him another skeptical glance before she started making a plate for Nathan. She stopped mid-way and looked at the little boy. She set the plate down and feigned surprise.
“You know what you forgot to do? You forgot to hug my neck.”
Nathan smiled as Frannie bent down to hug him. She pointed to her cheek and insisted he give her a kiss, too. He laughed as she acted as though his kiss shocked her cheek. Then, the joking stopped and Frannie’s mood seemed more serious. She took Nathan by the shoulders and directed him toward Ryan. “Get over there and tell your daddy to take that loose tooth out of your head.”
