"I am so sorry" She smiled at me "But the airman seems to have put both of us in the same room. We may have to share the bed."
"As you wish" I blinked, and moved back to make room "but you will have to pay the price."
"Oh? Do you bite?" she sat beside my head and moved under the sheets.
"Not currently." I sidled back and snuggled up to her, placing my head exactly where I knew she wanted it..."I snore."
Her thighs made a very warm and comfortable pillow, and the golden down was quite soft. She may have poked me once or twice, but if I can sleep through artillery fire, I can sleep through that.
#
Julie was not talking to me. We had not quite gotten back to the 'Dame Julie and My Dear Queen Eryma' nonsense yet, but I suspect she may have wanted a bit more last night than snuggling and sleep. When the airman came to knock on our door and wake us for dinner, she marched to the bathroom to get washed up and dressed without saying anything, marched down the corridor and up the stairs without saying anything, marched into the officer's mess without saying anything, and almost marched over the poor cook without saying anything. Now she sat across from me, shoveling hashed potatoes into her mouth, and not saying anything, very loudly.
I looked around the mess hall; various Junior officers, some with ranks I did not recognize, eating, talking, drinking, or staring at the sheet metal walls and ceiling. No expensive weight was wasted here for wood paneling, I approved. The food was plain, if hot, and served generously enough, the officers and crew plainly were treated well and content. My birds perched on chairs encircling the edge of table and munched happily enough on cheese and canned meat slices.
"Mother" One of Lois's daughters chirped up, I really must name them someday, they are growing fast "I can understand why we are here, but shouldn't Julie count as a senior officer?"
OK, perhaps they were not growing up that fast. Several of the Russian officers- those who it seemed spoke English- stopped what they were doing and stared- as if waiting for the anvil to fall. I considered hiding my head in my mashed potatoes and pork gravy.
"I am not certain that is the politest question, dear, and she has some reason to be angry with us already." Lois carefully replied.
"It is no secret that as I serve with the front ranks in times of war I often prefer to eat with them in times of peace." Julie said " And I am not... Angry... Really. Disappointed, perhaps." She smiled "Or frustrated."
"Well you were not actually planning on seducing Eryma right there with me and my family in the room, were you?" Lois was in full schoolmarm mode.
"Well, I, er, though" Julie stammered, then she looked at me, eyes wide "Eryma, are you a virgin????"
James fell off his perch laughing. Canned pork went everywhere.
"James, you can stop laughing now. James? James! Fine" I growled "At home we have separate rooms for a reason."
I was saved from further embarrassment by loud Russian yelling, swearing, and stomping from the far left of the mess hall. Most of the officers leaped up, I tried to see what was going on, but could not over the forest of their heads. A few more yells, stomps, and at last, one loud slam, and whatever it was over.
"Report, now!" Julie barked.
"A rat, Dame. It must have gotten in through the cargo lift somehow, or up the docking cables." A lone male voice from the back responded.
I looked at Julie. She smiled at me. "Great. Please send someone to inform the Grand Duke he has a British spy aboard his flagship. And why are you grinning like that?"
"Because" Julie leered "maybe I can get her naked."
"Well, I, oh, you." I grunted and grabbed a waiting airman by the arm "Go tell the command deck. Now!"
CHAPTER TWENTY
A Brain is a Terrible Thing to Taste
Interlude:
San Francisco, October 28th, 1908
The Russian rigid framed airship Perun docked here today at 4:18 pm, having returned from her epic 26-day circumlocution of the pacific, which started in Vladivostok, Russia. The Trip included stops in Tokyo, Saigon, Moresby, and Antarctica before crossing over to the southern continent and heading up to Santiago, Lima, Cali, Mexico City, and finally our own Colonial California Capital.
The mighty vessel's commander, Count Alexander Heublein, noted that the trip took two more days than planned, as there were delays getting refueled on the southern continent and "we had to climb above 6,000 feet to clear those damn mountains, which were not mapped properly before. Well, they are now, I assure you."
Peter Hemes, SF Free Press, filing for the Associated Papers.
The command deck was nothing like I imagined it would be. It was a lot smaller, for one thing, with perhaps room enough for ten persons at most. It was on the bottom of the vessel as well, down several flights of stairs and past two separate guard stations. It had a ring of floor to ceiling windows, set in thick panes behind metal screens, with a central control console at which two junior officers now sat, and a bank of electrical lights and mouth pieces behind for sending orders to the engine room, flight deck, and weapons pods.
Standing to the left of the control console stood an older man with large mustaches I assumed from his rank pins to be the ship's captain; behind him stood a pair of immortals, wearing even more gold, medals, and ribbons of rank... And at the front of it all, back to me, looking out the window was the large flight coated figure of Grand Duke Aleksandr, hands held behind his back. On earth, in the capitals of the empire, he was but the heir to heir of a ruler who would likely never die. But here, on his flagship, two thousand feet above the ground he strode the world like an angry god.
And I was about to tell him his beloved air battleship was in danger of falling like Icarus. Ah well, my day had been boring so far. "Your Highness" I started to say as I stepped sideways through the hatch door.
He held up his hand to stop me "Continue your report, Chief Airman."
"Sir" A voice spattered from the radio on the wall, Russian "We have found several signs of rats in the cargo bay, but no actual animals themselves, or any signs they are anything other than rats. We are conducting a room by room search elsewhere."
"Very good. Regular hourly reports please, and assume enemies on board until otherwise ordered." The Duke now turned to me. He was not pleased, no, not pleased all. "So, Madame trouble and her aerie return. Tell me, Madame, how certain are you the terrorist is aboard?"
"I am not, but it does seem a possibility. Tell me, the government had agents hunting her, to see if she survived, was there any evidence?" I looked out the windows. A beautiful and terrible view; defenestrating from this height would not be survivable at all. Above the bridge, in the wired air vent, a small shadow moved.
"The agents no doubt did, but their masters only tell me what they think I should know, as concerns naval or air operations. Someday I may get to speak with them about that, but for now, they have my mother's protection. Her of course, they tell everything, or I would have them already." He walked to stand beside me at the window, looking out.
"How hard would it be to sabotage this ship?" I dared.
"Not as easy as you might dream" He smiled "The gas is helium, not hydrogen, which is why there are two airbags, for the lift needed and redundancy. Even if one is lost, or engine power lost, we would still drift down slowly instead of falling to our fiery deaths."
"Yes, the gas is Helium" Lois interjected "But the outer envelope itself is coated in a solution of cellulose acetate butyrate, then sprayed with aluminum resin and iron oxide for gas retention. When subjected to a significant electrical charge, the material itself will begin to burn, releasing all the pressurized gas."
"Shocking" James tossed in.
The Grand Duke just stared at me. "So" he finally ground out "One is a genius, and the other insane?"
"I am starting to suspect" Julie bared her teeth at us both "That they may all be aspects of Eryma's own personality. This takes the concept of talking to oneself to an entirely new level."
"Enough. Madame, control your beasts, this is a warship on a military mission, not a circus, and we shall act like it." The Duke barked. "As loathe as I am to let you loose on my ship, you have expertise my officers and crew do not. Second Officer Popov" And here one of the officer stepped front and saluted "will take you to where the search is being made, and oversee as you assist. You will go with him, but neither you nor your pets will enter any of the critical areas of the ship without an officer with you, and reports will be regular and clear. Is that understood?"
I nodded.
He looked me in the eyes for a few minutes. "I am not my father, nor am I my mother. I do not play politics, which is why I am trusted to command half our military power. I expect direct answers, and will give them in return. Agreed?"
"Yes sir" I said, and regretted it could not be for real.
He nodded, satisfied for now. "Dismissed."
#
"If this queen of rats is not dead" Julie led me back up the stairs to the main deck "She must still be badly wounded."
"Oh, pish posh." I pish poshed back. "There are a dozen ways she could be on this ship and fully functional. And if it is her, whatever deck they are searching, we should go the exact opposite direction."
"Fine" Julie turned around, and poked me in the chest with her finger "Name three."
"As you wish. One" I held up a finger in front of my face "She was never there. If you had not met me, but the castle was attacked by birds, and you ran up the stairs to rescue Grand Duke Karl from a dark-skinned woman, killing here, would you assume I was dead?"
"Well, perhaps..." Julie squinted her eyes.
"Two" I held up the second finger, forming a V "I have an old friend, a veteran of the wars, who has one leg three inches shorter than the other. He was a ship's captain, and a wealthy man, and his bridge took a direct hit at the second battle of Miami. There were pieces everywhere, and the crew, in a panic, mopped up everything they could and shoved it in tub with all the healing solution they had. Sadly, well, he's his own first mate now. On a planet of more than a billion, one in a million miracles happen every day."
"His own, wait, you don't mean...." Julie stared "And he is alive??"
"And is very popular with certain ladies, although one set is in a bit abnormal spot. Lastly... There might be an" I placed my lips between my split fingers and blew a kiss at her "inside... Person. Not everyone at court wants this mission to succeed, it would seem obvious to me."
"Stop flirting." Julie poked my chest again "Unless you intend to do more than snuggle. I am not a toy."
"But you are so much fun to play with" I tilted my head and smiled.
"And I" Lois coughed loudly "Have fun playing in the air. But not when the Zeppelin is on fire, at least not while I am in it."
"Darn. The show is over, kids" James sighed. Behind him, the three daughters twittered their disappointment.
"Right" I pulled my jacket straight, feeling like some ship captain "Officer Popov, was it?"
"Yes, Madame." The tall sparse man answered from behind me, in a strong Ukrainian accent. "My orders were to take you over to the chief engineer, he is running the search."
"Yes, and he is no doubt running it exactly where agent rat wants him to run it; it would be child's play to have a rat stick its little furry nose out, and be seen, in places where she wants them to go. The deeper question is, what does she want? If it was to kill us, she could have already done so, she had plenty of time while we were sleeping to plant a bomb. Hell, she could have planted it with a timer or radio detonator before we even left. Boom, take out the airship, Grand Duke, Lioness of France, and Queen of Crows, tsk tsk, so sad, airships are so unsafe these days."
"So, what is her plan then?" Lois asked "Delay? Force the airship to land? For what possible reason?"
"The British Navy. They want to get to the artifact first; they can't sail directly there; the ice blocks the northern route this time of year and our own fleet blocks the southern. Sailing around is possible, but even for their fastest ships would take weeks." Julie snarled and started walking down the hall briskly. "Officer Popov, of those areas away from where the Chief is searching, what would be the best to sabotage in such a way that it would slow the ship down, perhaps force her to stop for repairs, without risking destroying her?"
"Top of the main section, the biplane hangers. Their fuel is kept in an outer hanger, specially constructed so fire cannot spread to the rest of the ship. But it is well guarded at all times, no easy place for even rats to get in!"
"Except" I started jogging after Julie "when the entire crew is searching the bottom of the ship for saboteurs."
"Should I call and warn them?" Popov panted behind me.
"No, this is our best chance to trap her, let's move."
#
Run up a flight of stairs, go left, run up another flight of stairs, go right, run up "This is a maze of twisty little passages, all alike" I tried to pant. Julie barely looked winded, looking behind, James and Popov were barely keeping up at all. Which didn't say much for Russian officer training, as James was a two foot tall bird that had to hop.
"Yes well, these sections of the ship are designed to slow and confuse boarders." Julie said.
"What?? Seriously? Your navy is that paranoid?" I just stared at her.
"Got you." Julie laughed "Everything is labeled and color coded, of course. Officer Popov, two more flights till we hit the launch deck?"
"Yes. Pant. It. Pant. Blue door. Pant. Pardon. Pant. I. Pant. Only human." Popov sounded like a dying boiler.
"No excuses." Julie pointed behind me "He is a Bird. James, ready for combat?"
"Ready and willing" James saluted with one wing- the wrong one- "My sword like beak is right behind you."
"Right then, lets head up these last two flights more steadily, so we don't sound like a herd of fornicating elephants, and then as one head out the door." Julie started walking more quietly up the stairs.
"How do you know what fornicating elephants sound like?" I mused after her. She only turned her head and grinned. Perhaps I did not want to know. I can understand immortal boredom, but fornicating elephants as entertainment?
We hit the last flight, I tried to think of a way to check for traps, but Julie pushed me back, then steadied herself and gave it one sharp kick to the middle. The door flew off its hinges like it had been hit be explosives, before landing on the black painted wooden landing strip with a loud echoing thud.
I started to make a sarcastic comment about subtlety, but it was too late, as with a great woosh of air Julie had already launched herself through the door and out into the evening sky. I staggered after as fast as I could, the air thin and hard to breathe, like at the top of a mountain. The wind chipped by, stealing what little breath I could gather. Lois and James leaped up to spread their wings again, soon followed by their three youngest daughters.
I started to make my way into the wind, But Popov stopped me, and pointed to where there were railings along the side to hold on to. The launch deck seemed to go on for at least a mile, all black painted wood with yellow and white lines, till the far end where several biplanes and triplanes stood waiting for their next crucial mission. At the farthest end beyond them, was a small hanger and storage shed.
A bizarre noise warned me, and I dodged left as a small furry object came flying past to hit the tarmac beside me with a grotesque splat. "Eryma" Somewhere a lioness bellowed "I found your rats!"
"I want my sword" I growled, then grabbed the hand hold and started pulling myself towards the other end of the launch, dodging occasional rains of rat parts. Well this was one way for Julie to work off some frustrations, at least.
#
By the time I had gotten to the end, the rain of rats had stopped, which was good, but so had any of the other noises, which was bad. I doubted
the enemy could have enough of either rats or religious fanatics on board to actually threaten Julie, so something else must have happened. I motioned to Popov to wait, the slowly sidled over to one of the waiting biplanes, and ducking behind it's fuselage, closed my eyes for a minute to see if there was anything Lois could show me.
Julie stood in a painting of blood, fur, and organs, with a rat tail clenched between her teeth. About forty feet away three men, dressed in badly fitted Russian uniforms, stood by a strange wheeled box, two of the men with rifles aimed at Julie, one holding some sort of radio. The one with the radio kept yelling things, and Julie kept nodding her head, no.
Well lovely, just lovely. I waved Popov over. "They have a radio trigger, probably for hidden bombs" I told him. His skin turned white. "But they don't know the Romanov's as well as I am beginning too, they only know the stories, and most of that is clearly myth. I need you to get back, and to a telephone; tell the Grand Duke I need a strong burst of white noise on AM radio frequencies, considering how small that unit is, the one through 20 megahertz range should do it, and hold it for at least five minutes. Have the helmsman signal me when the Grand Duke is ready by dropping bow angle by a few degrees; I shall attack then."
Popov gulped once then, crouching, started moving fairly fast back to the open door. I waved Lois down, time for a quick plan.
"Those Idiots" Lois landed behind me "Are stuck in a Mexican standoff. They know you are here, they heard Miss 'I am too subtle to wear under drawers' there, but they don't know where. I have the girls looking for the bombs now. And I don't know where the queen of rats is."
"I know where the rat queen is." I smiled "And we shall talk about Julie later. The ship will change course in a minute, when it does, have James hit the man with the radio as hard as he can, that should knock him off the side of the ship. Let Julie worry about the other idiots. And Lois, love, keep any eye out. We want that transmitter for ourselves, if we can get it."
A Queen Among Crows_Book One of Empire's End Page 14
