They looked at one another, and then Becky grinned at Alex. "We're acting like this because we don't get invited out much. We're real hicks when it comes to socializing. I haven't even been on a date since I divorced, and Mom's not much better. We've stuck pretty close to home ever since Emily was born. And she hasn't been around men much at all."
"She needs to practice her flirting, then," Alex declared. "Come about four. The guys will adore her."
Sadie said hesitantly, "Thanks. We'd love to come. But you must let us bring the potato salad."
"No argument there," Alex said instantly. "I should warn you, I'm not much of a cook, but Cam and David make up for it. Their mother, Verna's, a wonderful cook, and fortunately she taught them."
"We'll be looking forward to it."
JUST AS SHE'D EXPECTED Cameron was pleased Alex had invited people over, and he suggested they also include the Townsends. Greg was officially on duty, but Cam said he could monitor his calls from a portable.
David and Cameron got up early Sunday morning, sweeping the porch and cleaning the barbecue, marinating the steaks and chicken Alex had bought.
"What're we serving for dessert?" Cameron was putting beer cans in the fridge while Alex mixed up a huge green salad.
"Strawberries and cream," she said absently. She was still mulling over the things Becky had confided the day before. David was outside putting up extra chairs Cameron had unearthed from the basement, and she and Cam were alone for a few moments at least.
"Cam, I knew my father used his influence when I applied for this job in Korbin Lake," Alex blurted out. "What I didn't know was that Hollister King had someone else in mind for it. Dad must have really turned the screws, and that's how I got the position. It's also why King's so resentful of me."
Cameron finished shoving one last can into a corner of the bottom shelf. He got to his feet and closed the fridge. "Is King giving you lots of flak?"
Alex shrugged. "He's made it plain he doesn't want me interfering with his patients. He's not what I'd call friendly, but at least he speaks to me now." She chopped fresh tomato and dumped it into the bowl. "It's not King I'm upset about right now. It's my father." She slammed the knife down. "Damn it all, Cam, I'm furious with him. I had no idea there was another candidate. I knew Dad put in a good word for me, but I also believed I'd gotten this job because of my qualifications. Now I feel terrible because Dad really pulled rank, and there was this other doctor who wanted the job just as much as I did, and for all I know, was just as well qualified. I feel like some spoiled, greenhorn kid who can't land a job on her own."
Cam folded his arms across his chest and leaned back on the cupboard. "I'm sure you'd never have been hired if there was any question at all about your ability. They'd never even have considered you if you weren't qualified for the job, regardless of your dad."
Why didn't he see that the issue was really her independence? "But I wanted to do it on my own, Cam. I needed to do it on my own." She punctuated the words by banging her fist on the counter.
He leaned against the cupboard and picked up a piece of celery and munched on it. "If Bruce tipped the scales so that you got this job, then I'm grateful to him. We could have ended up with you working in Vancouver and me here, with our off time eaten up commuting from one place to the other, never seeing each other."
Outraged that he didn't understand her feelings at all, she started to tell him that their marriage wasn't working even with them both in the same place, but suddenly the front doorbell rang and David came bounding up the back stairs.
"Company's here," he announced, his eyes wide with excitement. "Man, that redhead's somethin' else, Alex. Why didn't you warn me?"
"She's my good friend, David. She's off-limits, so no moves, okay?" Alex swallowed her anger and tried for a smile as she and Cam and David went to the door to greet their guests.
DAVID TOOK THE SLENDER, chapped hand that Becky offered, and afterward he wondered what he might have said when Alex introduced them, because he didn't remember a word of it.
The only thing he knew with absolute certainty was that this was the woman he'd waited his entire life to meet.
He'd asked Cam once how he'd known Alex was the right woman for him. Cam had thought it over and then said, "It's a different feeling from any you've ever had before. It's not something you can make a mistake about. You just look at her and you know."
Looking at Becky, David knew.
She was small, with pixie features and thick, red-gold hair tied up in a knot at the back of her head. Her hair shone like polished copper in the sun. She had big, sad hazel eyes that didn't reflect the wide smile on her lovely mouth, and her white shorts and pale blue blouse revealed a lushly rounded shape and curvaceous legs.
Her voice was husky and a trifle shy, and he recognized instantly her defensiveness when Alex said, "And this little angel is Emily."
David had listened with casual sympathy and scant attention when Alex described this baby and the problems she was born with. It was too bad, he'd thought, but it really wasn't anything to do with him.
Now, all of a sudden, it got up close and personal.
Now, this tiny, fragile girl with her flattened little face and dark, innocent eyes had suddenly become part of a future David never in his wildest fantasy envisioned for himself.
The one thing he'd never knowingly done was date a woman with kids. His mother had been single, and he knew all too well the awful mixture of hope and dread and fear a little kid felt when his mother went out with a man. A child had no choice in the matter. A child had to go along with whatever his mother decided to do, and David didn't want any kid ever feeling the way he had when he was a little boy.
And still he hadn't said more than a few words to Becky. He hadn't kissed her or held her in his arms or made exquisite love to her the way he planned on doing. He knew she'd never allow him any closer than arm's length unless he found a straight path to the heart of this baby.
It scared the living hell out of him, and Becky hadn't the slightest idea of the depth of commitment he was making when he reached out to the little girl and said with his best grin and his most charming tone, "Wanna come and talk to Uncle Dave, princess?"
And with an entirely feminine dip of her head and a sidelong glance of pure flirtatiousness that astonished her mother and grandmother, Emily held out her arms to him.
ALL THAT HOT AFTERNOON, Alex felt as if there were two of her. One talked and laughed and played hostess and even felt smugly pleased at how well everything was going at this, her first party in Korbin Lake. The other part watched Cameron as if he were a stranger, marveling at his easy charm, impartially admiring his male beauty, and wondering if she'd ever really known him or if she'd only imagined the kind of husband she'd thought she had.
He was a wonderful host, quietly finding time to talk with each of their guests and making them feel welcome. He paid particular attention to Sadie, who might otherwise have felt a little out of place with all the young people. He and Dave and Greg took over the cooking of the chicken and steaks, and Alex was free to sit with the women on the porch in the late-afternoon sun and talk of babies and books and clothes and dreams.
"Your husband is a very fine gentleman," Sadie declared when they were leaving.
"Thank you." Alex knew it was so. She hated herself for feeling jealous, for resenting the fact that Cameron had paid far more attention to their guests that day than he'd paid to his wife in the past week.
Later that night, alone in their bedroom, Cam shucked off his sleeveless gray T-shirt and stretched.
Alex watched him with the same detached feeling she'd had all day, wondering if she'd ever had the slightest inkling what really went on his head. She used to think she did.
She questioned so many things these days, herself most of all, now that she'd learned how she'd gotten her job.
"That was a good party, honey." Cam sounded more relaxed than he had for days, and he seemed unaware of her tension. "Every
body seemed to have a great time."
"I hope they did." She sat down on the edge of the bed and kicked her sandals off, then lay back on the spread and closed her eyes. She felt infinitely weary, and at the same time, edgy. She couldn't seem to relax.
"This house is ideal for entertaining." She tried to sound normal. She absolutely didn't want to fight with Cam again tonight. "Everybody got along really well."
Cameron's voice seemed to come from a long way off. "It's hard to believe Sadie's old enough to be Rebecca's mom. Apparently she's been a widow for years, I wonder why she never remarried?''
Alex shook her head, eyes still closed. "Becky says her mother's had friends over the years, but Sadie just never wanted to get married again." A disturbing thought made her open her eyes and sit up. "Speaking of Becky, did I overhear David asking her out to dinner?"
Cam shrugged his bare shoulders and undid the snap on his shorts. "You got me. He didn't mention it. But it was obvious he couldn't take his eyes off her, so asking her out would be the logical next step."
Alex nodded, and her voice was harsher than she intended when she said, "Becky has enough problems in her life without getting mixed up with David. I particularly asked him not to mess around with her."
Cameron stepped out of his shorts and stood in his blue briefs, looking at her. There was a defensive note in his voice. "Why's that? Dave's not exactly an ax murderer."
"He's the original love-'em-and-leave-'em type, that's why, and I don't want Becky to get her heart broken. She hasn't had a single date since Emily was born. She's just not in David's league."
"She's an adult, Alex. But I'll speak to him if you like."
"Would you please? For Becky's sake, and also for Emily's."
"I've never been around a kid with Down's syndrome before. What's her future going to be?"
Alex explained that each child was different, and there was no way of telling. "Early training's important. Those women are doing a great job with Emily."
"Sure seems that way. And little Jason's looking good, too. Greg was changing him and he showed me his scar. It's almost fully healed."
Alex's mind wasn't really on the conversation they were having. Instead, she was wondering bitterly why Cam could talk so freely about everyone and everything except the specific issues that affected the two of them.
He came over and knelt on the rug beside the bed, his hands resting gently on her shoulders, his head on a level with hers. "You need any help getting out of these clothes, pretty lady?"
His voice was a husky, suggestive whisper, and his hands slid down to cup her breasts before finding the button on her shorts and beginning to undo it. His lips wandered from her temple to her throat, nibbling along her jawline, leisurely capturing her lips. His hands moved to cup her bottom, drawing her nearer to the edge of the bed.
Desire flared within her, and for a brief, automatic moment she responded to his kiss the way she always had done. This, at least, was still good between them. This was familiar, intoxicating. This was her husband, loving her the way she needed loving.... "My beautiful woman." He slipped her brief top up and over her head, deftly unfastening the bra beneath, weighing her breasts in his palms, caressing the already hardening nipples, making her breath catch in her throat.
And then, like an icy tide, all the things unsaid and unresolved between them rose up and overwhelmed her. She tried to shove them away, to stay rooted in the here and now, lost in the red haze of passion that was beginning to envelop her, but her body was suddenly cold and empty, swamped by a wash of negative emotion. The anger she'd been suppressing returned, and for the first time ever her body was deadened to the sensual invitation Cam was extending.
She stiffened in his embrace, scrabbling back across the bed, grabbing a nightshirt from under her pillow and tugging it over her head.
"I can't, Cam." The words burst out of her. "I just can't make love with you as if nothing's wrong between us. There's too much unfinished business, and it's bothering me. It won't go away until we talk about it."
For a long moment, terrible desire and an awful yearning burned in his dark eyes and sharpened the carved lines of his face. Then, with a visible effort, he gained control. He got to his feet and turned away, snatching up his shorts and pulling them on, his movements abrupt and stiff.
He was angry. She waited with both dread and eagerness for the inevitable confrontation. Now, at last, they'd have it out.
"This is still about the other night," he growled.
She nodded, her throat dry and tight. "Yes, it is. That, and-"
He cut her off. "I'm sorry, I probably said some things I shouldn't have." His voice was flat, and she couldn't read his expression.
"It's not what we said, Cam." She drew her legs up under the long cotton shirt and hugged them tight. "It's what we didn't say that's bothering me. Oh, Cam, couldn't we just talk, the way we used to?" Her voice trembled a little, and she waited for his answer, her heart pounding.
He was silent for what seemed a long time, and then he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, Alex, I know you're stressed out with moving, changing jobs and worrying about Wade. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. You made it plain the other day that you blame me for screwing up your life, and you're right. Apart from Wade, I know I'm to blame. I take full responsibility for all of it." His dark eyes burned, not with passion now, but anger. "But damn it all, I can't wave some magic wand and make it right for you, and no matter how much you want me to, I refuse to spend every free moment wading through my subconscious and wallowing in guilt and despair. It's just not my style."
Her voice on the edge of breaking, Alex whispered, "You honestly don't see what's happening to us, do you, Cameron? You don't want to see."
His face was closed, hard and tight and cold. "Nothing's happening except what you imagine, Alex. Get a grip on yourself. You're creating problems where there aren't any."
His words seemed to bruise a tender place in her chest. If he'd struck her a hard, physical blow, it might not have hurt as much as his indifference.
"I think I'll go down and watch TV for a while." His voice was almost normal, and in disbelief she watched him grab up a shirt, thrust his arms through the sleeves and leave the bedroom, closing the door gently behind him.
Alex sat frozen for a long time. She was married to a stranger!
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CAMERON STOOD on the other side of the closed door, his palms sweating, a deep, roiling sickness in his gut that threatened to expel whatever was left of his dinner.
He hated himself for hurting Alex.
He resented her for forcing him into it.
Why couldn't she see that all that emotional crap was better left alone? He swallowed hard and wiped his palms on the seat of his shorts, slowly making his way down the rest of the stairs, telling himself he had every right to be furious with her.
He wanted her, he needed the comfort of her body, the reassurance of her love, the oblivion of sexual release, and she'd turned away from him. For the first time ever in their marriage, Alex had refused him, and it was devastating to his ego. His body ached, and there was a peculiar emptiness in his chest. He didn't want to remember the look on her face when he'd left the bedroom, or the hopeless tone of her voice.
The door to the study was closed, and from behind it he could hear the muted sound of the television. Relief swept over him. David was still up. The last thing Cam wanted right now was to be alone.
His brother was sprawled on the couch, a pillow wedged behind his head, a beer can near at hand. The television was tuned to a rugby game. He looked up surprised to see
Cameron. "Hey, bro, thought you'd packed it in for the night."
"Couldn't sleep." Cameron lowered himself into an armchair and squinted at the screen. "Who's playing?"
"Scotland and Australia. Two tries for the Scots, zip for Australia. There's only a few minutes left to play. Looks like the Aussies are outta luck."
&nb
sp; They watched in silence as the game ended, and slowly, Cameron began to feel a little more relaxed.
Dave flipped the mute as the inevitable postgame interviews began. "Watching rugby makes ya think of Wade, huh?"
Cameron nodded. It was gut wrenching, watching the game his brother-in-law had loved and excelled at.
"I went to see him a coupla times at the hospital," Dave said. "It's tough to know what to talk about. Think he'll ever walk again?"
"Hard to say. The odds are pretty good. He's getting sensation back in his legs, but it'll take lots of effort, according to Alex."
"God. And he was a world-class athlete." Dave shuddered. "Makes you realize just how fast your life can change."
Cam was all too aware of how fast life could change, and he didn't want to think about it. They sat in silence for a moment, and then he deliberately changed the subject. "So, think you can stick it out here in the boonies if that job comes through?"
"Yeah, sure. It was kinda weird being here at first. Small towns ate way different than the city, but I'm getting to like it now, better every day." His voice took on a note of pride. "If I get hired on, I'll do a good job, too. I'm damned good at operating heavy machines. That's one thing I really know how to do.''
Cam bit back the urge to say that if David had stayed in school the way he'd wanted him to, there'd be a lot more things his brother knew how to do. It was a contentious subject between them, better left alone.
There was a lengthy silence before Cameron spoke again, feeling uncomfortable but also wanting to honor the promise he'd made to Alex. God knew he wasn't doing much else for her these days.
"Alex figures you're putting the moves on her friend, Becky."
"Oh, yeah?" Dave took a long swallow of beer, and there was a defensive note in his voice when he spoke. "I asked the lady out, figured we'd have some dinner, take in a movie." He flashed his cocky grin at Cam, but there was an open warning in his green eyes. "No big deal. I didn't exactly propose, y'know."
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