by Brooke May
“Yes.” I nod and lean on my elbows when she walks back to my bed. I never knew that I had an aunt. My parents and grandparents never brought her up. It wasn’t until I did something that in their minds condemned me as they had done to her. Just because of who we chose to love and what we would do for love. I refused to roll over for my parents and get rid of my child, and my aunt negated to be something that she wasn’t.
“It wasn’t until I got here and settled that I found a happiness and freedom that I longed for.” The anguish in her voice is almost unbearable. “I wasn’t treated much differently from you. I never fit into the mold my parents wanted, and I was an embarrassment to my brother’s growing career.”
When she refused, my grandparents gave her enough money to find a place to settle and asked her never to contact the family again and never to speak out against them, which in my opinion is needed. First, they disown her, and then they send her disowned niece to live with her as if it was her problem.
Luckily for me, she welcomed me with open arms and was relieved that someone else was normal from that family. It was the best thing my parents ever did for me; Aunt Jackie and Karmin are amazing.
“I found my happiness here with my career, people who accept me for who I really am, and Karmin. I love her.” She stretches out. “You’ll find everything you’ve been looking for with Chamberlain, K.C. He, along with Marissa, will bring you pure happiness.”
“Even if it’s back in Boston?”
“Even if it’s back in Boston.” She nods.
“Mommy …” Marissa is sliding in her fish slipper-covered feet into my room, rubbing her eyes and clinging to her panda.
“Hi, baby doll.” I reach my arms out, inviting her to cuddle with me. “How was your nap?
“Otay.” She yawns before her big blue eyes look up at me. “I want Daddy.”
Aunt Jackie offers me no help. She only offers me an apologetic shrug. I force a tight smile. How do I explain to my three-year-old that we can’t see her daddy all the time, especially if I get this teaching position?
“Why don’t you head downstairs, and we will make some cookies?”
“Oatmeal?” Her eyes sparkle with the excitement simple cookies bring her.
“Yes.” She free-for-all tumbles out of my arms and lap, not getting out of the room fast enough. Another trait she got from her daddy. After I got here and began to unpack, I found the recipe I had copied from Chamberlain’s mom’s in one of my notebooks.
As my pregnancy advanced, my cravings honed in on those cookies and disappeared after I had Marissa, but she loves them. No other cookie will ever do for her; not even store bought oatmeal cookies.
“Go with your heart, K.C.” Aunt Jackie squeezes my shoulder as we walk out of my room. “Remember what I said; there will always be other teaching positions. It isn’t every day that you get your life back with the one you were meant to be with.”
Fightin’ love.
That’s what Fiona had told me long ago about the love Chamberlain and I had; the same she had with her husband. Fiona would have and probably still would give anything to be with her husband again. Chances like what I’m being offered now are rare, and to find the strong love Chamberlain and I share is even rarer. We have been apart for four years, and I still feel the same for him as the first day I fell in love with him.
Marissa is still in her slippers, rushing around to find all the needed ingredients she knows by heart. Fiona never got the chance to have her daughter and raise her with her husband.
I have Marissa, and now, I can have Chamberlain back in my life as well as adding him to Marissa’s. Fiona would tell me the same that Aunt Jackie is telling me now. I need to go with my heart because the love I have for him doesn’t come around often.
He would take care of Marissa just like I do and would love her with all his heart. I remember how he was with kids; always kind and calm around them, understanding, and very passionate. He hasn’t changed in that aspect; he still cares for others. That is evident through his charity work.
“Go for love.” Karmin nudges me with her shoulder while shooting me her all-knowing look. “The only thing stopping you is yourself.” She gestures to Marissa. “You both deserve it.” When I don’t answer, continuing to watch Marissa get the bowls and cookie sheets out, Karmin continues. “Your story with him never added up right in my head. From what you had told us, he put everything he had into your relationship; complete devotion and love.” She shakes her head. “No man puts all that just to mess with a girl, K.C. Well, I’m sure some sickos out there would, but you have a good egg with Chamberlain.”
“I want to bake lots cookies for my daddy!” Marissa’s light drowns out the darkness that seems to fog me. I would destroy all of us if I kept Chamberlain away.
“There’s your sign.” I roll my eyes.
Her and her signs.
“Jackie and I will be in the living room.” She turns on her heel and leaves Marissa and me in the kitchen.
I’m not being fair to any of us. Chamberlain has shown me that he is still the same good man he was back then. I need to let this go and be happy, truly happy for once.
“Ready?” I clap my hands and walk over to the sink to wash my hands. I help Marissa with hers and set her up in her spot on the counter. We start mixing the dry ingredients after I set the oven to heat.
“You know, I didn’t start baking until I was six.” I watch Marissa, tongue poked out of the side of her little mouth and her brows drawn together, as she focuses on mixing and doing well not to spill.
“I was so thankful for Fiona. I still am.” I talk to her like this all the time, even when she was a tiny baby. I don’t care if she understands, but it feels good to share my happy memories of Fiona in my childhood with her.
“She taught me everything I’m teaching you now and in the future.” I start cracking the eggs while Marissa focuses harder on mixing.
“The first time Fiona and I baked, I ended up covered in flour. I sneezed when we were putting the flour in the bowl, and it went everywhere. Then I got egg in my hair, but those were some of the best cookies I ever had.”
Once everything is mixed, we get dirty and roll the dough into balls and place them on the sheets. “Music, Mommy.” Marissa points at the kitchen radio.
“Okay. Sorry, I forgot.” We always have music on when we are in the kitchen. Aside from Disney princess movies, Marissa doesn’t watch television. She prefers music. I wipe my hands and turn the radio on. “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran plays, and we start to dance around.
“Will Daddy like?” Marissa watches from the counter when I put the first batch in.
“He’ll love them. They are his favorite. Your grandma used to make them for him.” I wipe off my hands and turn the radio up as we start to move to the rhythm.
“Hello, beauties!” Beth proclaims her entrance into the kitchen with a loud cheer over the music.
“Aunt Beth!” Marissa dashes to her, putting her dough covered hands all over her. I’m so relieved that my best friend couldn’t care less that her clothes are now dirty; instead, she scoops Marissa up and begins dancing in the open space.
She stops in front of me at the oven and sniffs the air. “Cookies?”
“Yes.”
“Oatmeal?”
“Yes.” I giggle, leaning back and crossing my arms over my chest. Marissa scrambles down Beth and heads over to the table to set up the wire cooling racks for the cookies by placing them on top of the wax paper I have already set down.
“So …” Beth trails off, coming to lean against the counter next to me. She eyes me warily.
“So?” I eye her back, drawing us into a strange staring contest.
“What are you going to do with Chamberlain?” It’s spooky how her eyes go unblinking and get larger as she stares at me. I break and look away.
“I … not sure?” My voice is small. I’m still so torn over what to do. I’m not feeling as hopeful as I was this mornin
g before my interview. I just know that I didn’t get it. It really sucks; you have either too much experience and schooling or not enough. How am I supposed to get the experience when no one will hire me?
“Bullshit, you know; well, this part of you knows.” She points at my heart. “You just need to get this part fully on board.” She moves her finger to my head. “He wouldn’t have been stalking you if he didn’t want you, K.C.”
“I know.” I try to come up with something to say, but I draw a blank. I see how he has been, but a part of me is still scared of being hurt all over again, and this time, it isn’t just me. “I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to be. I know your side of the story, and now, we both know Chamberlain’s. It was a misunderstanding and the works of a troll Amazon bitch that tore you apart. By his own admission, Gwen isn’t in his life anymore. No woman is.”
Beth has a point. From the articles and all the pictures I just saw, it’s true. He doesn’t have anyone significant in his life. He was holding on to the hope of finding me.
“Brave” by Sara Bareilles picks this moment to play on the radio. “Go for it.” She leans closer to me so Marissa can’t hear. “Besides, he’s fucking hot as hell. How can you say no to that?”
I shake my head. Yes, Chamberlain has a hot body and rough, sexy looks, but it’s his heart of gold beating beneath my name that I love the most.
Chapter Fourteen
Chamberlain
I CAN’T STOP rubbing my face, dragging my lids down with each pass as I step into the elevator to head up to my room. Today was amazing; more than I could have ever imagined it would be with Katie and our daughter. It was so perfect, almost like they have been with me all along.
Marissa.
That little girl reminds me so much of my grandma and my mom. Her feisty attitude is just like my grandma’s was, her sweet innocent aura reminds me of my mom, and her appearance is just like Katie. She is a perfect combination of my favorite ladies.
I really didn’t want to leave them tonight, and I don’t understand why I did. I could have pleaded with Katie to let me stay. I was put into a state of shock when Marissa went to bed. I almost cried again as I watched her cuddle up with a stuffed panda. The very same stuffed panda I bought for Katie before I left for my first fight.
She kept it.
After she had thought I betrayed her, she still kept it and gave it to our daughter. That fact both baffles me and makes me so fucking happy. After learning why Katie never tried to find me, I figured she didn’t keep anything that would remind her of me, but to my surprise, she kept it all. That fact alone makes me happy.
Besides the panda, I saw a framed picture of me on the table next to Marissa’s bed. It looked worn from being handled too much. That’s how Marissa knew I was her daddy at the water park; Katie has kept a picture of me close.
Well, Marissa has the real deal now.
A self-satisfied grin spreads across my face as the elevator stops on my floor.
That kiss.
Fuck, that kiss … I wish I could have done more, but I’m not going to touch Katie again until she is mine again. When my lips touched hers, I felt like a dying man getting the meal to save his life.
I will touch her and sure as fuck kiss her because I would be crazy not to. I need to keep reminding that pretty little head of hers how good we are together, but as for the mind-blowing sex, we are going to wait.
“Even if it kills me,” I admit out loud, knowing full well that will happen.
Walking into my room, I’m assaulted by the over exaggerated moans that only come from porn. “Seriously, man?” I slam my keys down on the counter. Scott is sprawled out on the couch just watching the two … nope, three women going at it. “Didn’t you get enough of that the other night?”
“Fuck, no. That broad was so loose I couldn’t feel anything,” Scott grumbles. I don’t feel sorry for him; he needs a woman to knock him down a few notches. I snatch the remote from the coffee table and change the channel.
“Then why bother?” This is one of the biggest differences between us. I’m perfectly content to abstain for four years while Scott can barely go four days.
“Because.” He swings his legs around to make room for me.
“No fucking way. I’ll sit over here.” I grab my tablet and take a seat in the armchair. Who the hell knows what he was doing over there before I came in.
He pops his neck and rubs the back of it. “Has Katie mentioned anything about her friend?”
I know that look.
“Not happening, man.” I type in my search on my tablet. “I’m so close to having Katie back. You aren’t fucking this up for me. Leave. Beth. Alone.”
“You aren’t going to cockblock me, C!” he growls. I look up at him and nearly laugh at how frustrated he looks. “She’s fucking sexy as hell and looks like she needs a good, hard, long ride.”
“And I’m sure she’ll find one, but it’s just not going to be with you.” I go back to my tablet.
“That idiot Bob isn’t giving her none.” He huffs, like the man-child he is.
“And how do you know that?” I don’t bother looking up at him while I order the tickets I need for the park I plan to take my girls to in Orlando. Like it or not, Katie and Marissa will be leaving with me when my time is up in Denver.
“If he was, he wouldn’t be running around with other girls.” Scott stands and heads over to the fridge. “I bet she’s amazing.”
“Too bad you’ll never know.” I’m absentmindedly trying to shut him down.
“What the fuck does that mean?” he shouts.
Like I said, man-child.
“It means you aren’t fucking my girl’s best friend and ruining anything. Leave. Her. Alone.” I shoot him a demanding glare and go back to my tablet to open a different app.
Scott goes quiet, and that’s a good thing, but I relax into my chair. “Why the FUCK are you looking at princess shit while we are talking about my sex life?”
I shut off my tablet because he isn’t going to let this go. “We are no longer discussing your sex life. Stay away from Beth, end of story.” I stand. “And I was doing some shopping for my daughter for her new room at her new home.”
His eyes don’t break from me as he slams his beer down and snorts a laugh. “Pretty certain of yourself, aren’t you?”
What the hell crawled up his ass and died today?
“They will be coming with us, Scott.” I grab a bottle of water and then take my seat again. “What other fun things are there to do in Orlando?” We never did much tourist stuff on our stops; I mainly stayed close to the hotels and the gyms.
Scott resumes his sulking and takes his seat while turning on a motocross race; he throws his shit-eating grin my way. “Oh, I know a few—”
“That are appropriate for my daughter, fucker.”
He laughs. “I’m sure you’ll find something.” He sits back in his spot and turns his attention to the TV. “Take her to see some princesses.”
“Already have that booked.” I start searching for other things I think Marissa would like to do. I want her to have as much fun as possible. Traveling like I do can get boring if you don’t have things to go see or do, so I’m making sure she has the time of her life.
I try to think of things I always wanted to do growing up, but my parents could never afford. I want my daughter to have a memorable and fun-filled childhood. Not that mine wasn’t, but I want her to have more. More love from her parents, more amazing memories for her to cherish, and more examples of how to find the right person to spend the rest of her life with someday.
I also want Katie to have fun as well. I know her parents never did many things with her growing up either … but for different reasons. Where for mine it was financially hard, her parents just didn’t want to waste their time on their daughter. She may have gone to Orlando before, but I bet she never did anything kids normally did on their vacation there. She was probably stuck in tea dresses and t
old to be quiet and unseen.
It breaks my heart that Katie never got a chance at a childhood, but I’m relieved she didn’t turn out like her mother and sister. Katie is nothing like them; she’s warm, compassionate, kind, and above all, loving.
After an hour of searching for things for us to do, I’m content with my choices and even booked a reservation for Katie and me at a nice romantic restaurant after my fight next Saturday. I plan on wooing my woman back into my heart, arms, and my bed.
“See ya in the morning.” I wave over my shoulder at Scott as I take off for my room.
“Remember training!” he says half-minded, engrossed in the final laps of the race.
“Yep.” I yawn and get ready for bed. When I lie down, my bed feels too big and cold. Back in the day, Katie would curl up on my left side in her spot, the only place on my body that has a name tattooed on it—her name. I kept my heart and her spot locked up just for her. I pledged to myself never to let anyone else in it, but it looks like I have to make an exception to that.
I roll over and grab my phone to look for a tattoo parlor that opens early on Friday mornings.
XOXO
I ROLL MY shoulders forward as I bounce around and throw my head from side to side finishing my warmup. “Train Kept a Rollin’” by Aerosmith blares through the speakers in the hotel gym as I walk over to the mat Scott and I set up for us to train on.
I refuse to go back to Bob’s gym. I don’t want to give that prick the pride of having me train there. I’d much rather train and spar in privacy. It’s been a while since we actually sparred together; Scott has been busy with promoters and scheduling fights for me. Normally, he just holds the focus pads or the heavy bag for me while saying stupid shit to pump me up. But now, I have something new to pump me up—my girls.
“Are you ready for me to beat the shit out of you?” Scott smirks before sliding his mouth guard in. Shaking my head, I narrow my eyes and do the same with my guard.
“Fuck. You.” I lift my chin, indicating to him that I’m ready, and we both swing at each other. I hate training with this fucker. He knows all my tricks so I can’t use any of them to get the upper hand. I’ve actually come up with a few over the years, and it’s the best I can get. I always give a hundred fifty percent and push myself because it’s what I know.