by Brooke May
But as I sit here at our family table, during the quiet moments like I get right now while you are at school, I think of everything I want to say to you. All the knowledge I have gained in my life to pass down to you, but I can’t do that in the time that we all thought I would have. Tomorrow, we go to the hospital to get the test results back, and sweetheart, I know they aren’t good.
I don’t want this sadness of me being sick to steal who you are, Chamberlain. You are an amazing young man and have a heart of gold. You saw how much your dad loved the both of us, and I want that for you, son. Find the girl who knocks you out, the one who will steal your breath, and make you live for the both of you and someday your children as well.
I want that powerful love that your dad and I shared for you. You’re a great man, and your girl should know that and fight right alongside you. I know that right now you don’t believe in all this ‘junk,’ as you put it, but Chamberlain, there is a girl out there for you and when you find her, fight to keep her in your corner.
I love you, Chamberlain, and I know that you will be strong no matter what happens after tomorrow. Lean on someone when you need it and cry whenever the desire hits, baby boy. And please know that without a shadow of a doubt, your dad and I will be smiling down at you and the life that you pave for yourself. Please take care of yourself, son, and remember every value I have worked to ingrain in that thick head of yours.
Love always,
Your momma, Marissa
P.S. I want loads of grandbabies!
I laugh as I wipe a tear away from my eye. Her life was cut too short, and my heart breaks for Chamberlain as well as Marissa for the grandparents she will never know. It takes all I have to set the letter down, and with shaking hands, I pick up the notebook. The pages look like they have been flipped through hundreds of times. I open it and find the first entry dated around the time that Chamberlain’s mom passed away. The entry isn’t long:
Mom passed a few days ago, and honestly, I don’t know how I’m going to get through this kind of pain. Who do I have now?
“Oh, Chamberlain.” I begin to flip and read. There are so many talking about getting by each and every day. It isn’t constant, maybe a few months apart, until I stop at the entry dated the same day I met him.
I found her. She was in a black dress with the sexiest white tights or leggings, whatever girls wear, with black boots. She’s perfection if I’ve ever seen it. I didn’t get a chance to get her name, but she’s my panda, my knockout.
“Wow.” I flip some more and land on that dreadful day. He must have had this notebook with him.
Finally made it! My dreams are coming true. I have the career I want, and the girl I’m going to marry.
The entries that follow become too hard to look at until I reach the end and the last one.
Katie, where are you? My soul is shattered without you. Nothing I do is worth it without you, panda. Please, find your way home back to me.
I close the notebook and look away, letting the tears fall. My beast of a man has been broken for so long, yet he has disappeared from our room and my side. Jumping out of bed, I don’t bother with any shoes and start my search for him.
“Chamberlain?” I yell softly as I come down the stairs and find the living room and kitchen barren. The only light coming in is from Boston. I walk down the hallway to check the spare bedrooms, and they turn up empty. Marissa is, as usual, cuddled up in her bed. I tiptoe over to her, brush her hair from her face, and place a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Mommy loves you.”
I walk back into the living room, completely confused on where he would be. Then it hits me. He is down in the gym. I know Marissa will be safe up here for a few minutes, so I climb into the elevator and ride it down to the ground floor.
When the doors open, I hear the lyrics of “I Could Die for You” by Red Hot Chili Peppers play softly in my ears, and the clinking of metal hitting metal that directs me to the weights. In the soft lights of Boston, I find Chamberlain sitting up on the bench press and wiping his face with his shirt.
“Chamberlain?” I tentatively walk to him.
Even in the faint light, I can see his whole body go rigid. “Go back to bed, Katie.”
My steps falter, but I continue. “Not without you.” As I get closer, he picks up the remote to his stereo and turns it down just as I come to a stop in front of him. “Come upstairs with me,” I plead, holding my hand out.
He shakes his head but rises. “Why are you down here?” I look around and see that the weights are the only things moved.
“Blowing off some steam.” I look into his eyes; I can still see them in the dim light, and like his tone, they are dark.
“What’s the matter?” I try to put my hand on his sweat-soaked shirt, but he moves away and walks over to his practice ring. He leans against the middle rope and supports his head with his hands.
“They got in here, Katie.” His voice, it’s so broken. “After everything I did, they still managed to get in here and get near you and Marissa.”
“Chamberlain.” I walk to him and try to peer at him around his arm, resting a hand on his back. “Hey, look at me.”
“Why the fuck would they want to get to you now?” His frustration takes over. “I mean, Scott told me what they wanted, but why can’t they just leave us alone? They fucked it up for us once already; I’m not losing you again.”
I shake his arm, but he doesn’t budge. I step back, lips pursed, trying to figure out how to get through to him that I’m okay, that Marissa is okay. I look at the ring and decide to climb in. Once up, I turn around and sit on my knees, lifting his face to look at me. “I’m right here. Marissa is up in her room sleeping. We are both safe,” I explain in the gentlest of tones.
“They still got in here—”
“And Scott got them to leave. You know how they can be. And besides, I may have gotten a little carried away with PMS and all that.” I offer him a slight smile. I will not let them get away with making Chamberlain question his security. This is not acceptable. “Come here.” I grab his hands and start to pull him into the ring.
“Katie.”
“Just come here.” I let go and slide back to make room for him. Chamberlain sits down, and I waste no time climbing up on his lap while pushing his shirt up and over his head.
“What are you …?”
“Hush.” I take off my shirt and sports bra and wrap my arms around him. “Just hold me. Know that I am here and that you do keep me safe,” I mutter against his chest before placing a single kiss on it.
Soon his arms come around and encase me to his chest. “I don’t want you near them again, Katie.”
“I know.”
“Promise me; you won’t go near them.”
I can’t promise him that. After them putting his security and his protection of Marissa and me in question on top of threatening his career, I can’t sit back and let them get away with any of this. I need to find a way to get them off our backs and leave us alone once and for all.
I don’t answer Chamberlain, just hold him tighter and let him rein his emotions through my touch.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Katie
“I THINK YOU need to tell them where to stick it.” Beth offers me her words of wisdom from her spot on the other side of the table.
“I agree.” Fiona places the last of the plates on the table and takes her seat. At some point last night, I fell asleep again, leaving Chamberlain to bring us up to our room. I woke up in the shirt he wore last night and him holding me securely to him. He usually looks peaceful in his sleep, but that wasn’t the case this morning. A frown seemed glued to his face, even after he woke up.
He mumbled something about having some business to take care of as he kissed me and rolled out of bed. He’s been off somewhere with Scott ever since.
“Chamberlain will freak,” I add, seeing as the two of them continue to ignore me.
“I’ll watch Marissa while the two of you go.” Fi
ona talks directly to Beth. “I’ll cover for you if the boys get back early.”
“They never said when they would be back,” I grumble and get another cup of tea.
“What’s the address?” Beth asks, opening the app on her phone for GPS.
Fiona rambles off the address to my parents’ massive estate. Beth jumps up after adding it to her GPS and grabs my arm, nearly pulling it from its socket. “Come on; you need to get this out of the way.”
Groaning, I set my cup down and blow a kiss to Marissa in the living room. “I’ll be back shortly.”
“Bye, Mommy. Bye, Aunt Beth.”
In the car, after winning the fight for the keys, we head off in the direction of the Cunningham Manor. “I never thought I would go back there.” I try to sound pathetic and win points with Beth. As much as I would love to rip into them, I need it done on neutral ground and not their house.
“Well, you know what they say about saying never,” she teases. “Never say never.”
I roll my eyes and drive onward. “You haven’t met them, Beth. They aren’t good people.”
“Chamberlain and Scott filled me in yesterday. Don’t worry; I’ve got your back.” She flexes her bicep closest to me.
“You’ll see.” I don’t think this will be the end of it. And showing up to their house is just going to give them ammunition to show how much Chamberlain and I support my father.
When we arrive at the gate and the guard house, Beth lets out a low whistle. “Wow, I never thought you grew up this rich.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I roll down my window for the guard poking his head out of the window of the guard house to talk to me.
“Can I help you, ma’am?”
“Yes, I’m here to speak to Mrs. Cunningham. I’m Katie Lawrence,” I offer too sweetly, causing Beth to snort next to me. “And this is Beth Martin.”
He looks down at his clipboard; it holds a list of approved guests. “I have a Katherine Lawrence,” he looks up at me. “Is that you?”
I grind my jaw. “Yes.”
“Okay. Well then, go right up, Miss Lawrence.”
“Mrs. Lawrence,” I correct him. “Thank you.” We pull forward and through the gates, up the driveway, and park in the ‘guest’ parking. “Let’s get this over with.” I pull my game face on. They won’t get a reaction out of me no matter how hard they try.
“Woohoo!” Beth pumps her fist, falling into step with me.
Two sharp knocks on the door and I step back, waiting. “Are you …” The door opens, cutting off Beth’s question. I’m glad in a way; I need to focus on this.
Zoey appears in the doorway, but someone else opens it. The look of shock and surprise helps my confidence. “What are you doing here, Katherine?” she hisses.
“It’s K.C.,” I say nicely. “May we come in?”
She looks around, bewildered and caught off guard, out of her element.
Good.
“I don’t see why not. Mother and I both need an apology from you.” She lifts her nose and leads us into the house.
“I didn’t think you lived here anymore.” I glance at the paintings that adorn the walls in the hallway that leads to the patio. I can hear faint talking coming from that direction.
“I don’t, but Timothy is golfing with Daddy and his father, so I’m having a break with Mother, Grandmother, and Mrs. McGarth.”
I want to laugh at the fact she is still calling Tim’s mom, her soon-to-be mother-in-law, Mrs. McGarth. “How nice,” Beth comments next to me. “No kids for yourself then?”
Zoey stops and looks at us as if offended. “I am attending Harvard at the moment, so no, I do not have children. Timothy and I are just engaged. We will be married soon enough.” She resumes walking until we come to the patio.
“Zoey, who was it?” My mother’s voice bounces off my skin. I walk into the room with Beth and get a collection of gasps along with the annoying barking and nipping at my ankles from Lucifer. I can’t believe the stupid dog is still kicking; he was old when I left. “Katherine, we weren’t expecting you.”
“It’s K.C.,” I say defensively. I look around the room. Mrs. McGarth is unchanged, just like my mother with her Botox face. Grandmother Hendricks looks older but still as prim as she can possibly be in her wheelchair. I can read a flicker of amusement in her eyes. “I just wanted to stop by to say something.” I look back at my mother.
She rounds the table, picking up her dog before I finally kick it. “Have you and your husband changed your minds?” She sounds hopeful. My father’s campaign can’t be going that badly. I never bothered to look up to see what the news had to say about Senator Cunningham.
“Why, did his mistresses speak out?” She gasps again. “Why do you need Chamberlain so badly? To use his fans in the hopes they will vote for Father?” I rest a hand on my hip. “I don’t think so. We want nothing to do with any of you.” I look around the room, letting them know I don’t care about a single one of them. Grandmother Hendricks had her moments of being nice to me, but they were extremely rare.
“How dare you, you ungrateful little bitch.”
“I see your tongue and language hasn’t improved in four years,” I deadpan. “Understand this, Mother …” I step forward. “I’m not scared of you. That little devil in your arms was always more important than I was. So being ungrateful?” I laugh. “I don’t think so. You and Father kicking me out of the house was the best parenting you two ever did for me.” I won’t say that it did take me away from Chamberlain because they don’t need to know that. “If you try to touch Chamberlain or his career, I will undo your whole world. I will show everyone your true colors.” I’m in her face and do my best not to poke her in the chest. Knowing my luck, the second I touched her, she would call the police.
I back off and give everyone one last look before turning to Beth. “Let’s get out of here.” She smiles widely at me and follows me out.
“You’ve never been anything to me. Just trash I could never get rid of!” My restraint and anger snap as I whip around and throw my fist right into the center of her face.
I pull back and shake my head. “No, that’s been you.” I nod at Beth, and we leave without anyone trying to interfere.
XOXO
WE TRY TO be as stealthy as we can when we get back home, but we fail as soon as Beth opens her mouth in the elevator on the way up. “I thought the lady in the wheelchair was going to die from laughing.” She wipes her eye. “You hit your mom so hard; I’m sure the person who injects her could feel it.”
“Grandmother did look thrilled. Maybe she was glad someone besides my father finally put my mother in her place.” I gloat. I love the fact that I didn’t have the police or their guards on me the moment I walked out of that house and to my car.
“Well, she can die a happy woman now.” She laughs. “Your mom is a real piece of work. Same with your sister.”
“Can you see why I was never that upset not to talk about them?”
“Yeah.” She hugs me to her side. “I’m glad I have you now.”
“What about Chamberlain?” I happily ask, knowing she means all of them. But she doesn’t answer me. Instead, she is frozen in place, looking forward.
“Yes, what about Chamberlain?”
Uh-oh.
My eyes meet the deadly gaze of Chamberlain’s. “Hi, stud.” I try to cover my butt, but it fails.
“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” he growls, pulling me out of the elevator and into the living room where I’m seated on the couch. “I mean after last night …” He roars, shoving his fingers through his hair. “I asked you to promise me, Katie.”
“Technically, I never promised.” My defense is weak, and he knows it. “I just couldn’t let them get away with what they did to you, Chamberlain.”
“Did to me?”
Oh, boy, he’s angry.
“Katie, they have hurt you far more than they could ever hurt me. I just worry …”
; “No, Chamberlain.” I stand. “They rattled you yesterday, and I don’t like seeing my strong, confident husband shaken like that.”
“So you had to get the final word? We are supposed to be partners.”
“I am your wife!” My voice is demanding him to shut up and listen. “And yes, we are partners, but you need to learn I can stand on my own two feet in the ring. I can fight too,” I finish in his face. “So you have to trust me and have my corner when I need you, just like I have yours. Always.”
His face softens a fraction, and he pulls me to him. “I know, but I just …” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t want anything to happen to you again, Katie. I finally found you again, and I am so damn scared that I’m going to wake up and you’ll be gone. That this is all a dream.”
“It isn’t, though,” I soothe him. “Trust me; nothing is going to steal me away from you again.” It affects me deeply that he is so scared. This morning, I read more in his notebook. Every single self-doubt and worry he has ever had were written out before me. Before he met me to our few short months together when he thought I would just leave, and then after, second-guessing himself, worrying and frantic to find me.
His confidence is at its highest in the ring because he controls the outcome, as long as he trains and stays focused. Outside the ring is a whole different story. He can’t control the people coming in and out of our lives—my parents or anything else, for that matter.
“You are everything I could have ever asked for, Chamberlain.” I know he knows how much he means to me, but saying the words just reinforces them more. “You are the sweetest, most gentle man I’ve ever known, and that’s even when you are looking like the total Predator.” He grunts at his nickname; he doesn’t like me using it because he isn’t the Predator to me; he’s just my Chamberlain. “You give me everything. The only way I’m leaving you is to go to the hereafter but with you by my side.”
