by Violet Paige
“What is this?” I asked. I didn’t want him to know that I saw the fight, or that I already guessed at the meaning of his exercise.
“Something an old coach of mine used to make me do whenever I fought on the field,” he answered. “When we are here on this grass, we are our own family. We look out for one another. We don’t fight. If we have a problem, we talk it out.”
“I see. Did those two forget how to talk?” I prodded.
“Temporarily. But after a lap holding the ball they should remember. That or they will be too exhausted to even care what they were fighting about to begin with.”
I tried to hide my smile. “And what happens if they drop the ball?”
“They start over. Like I said they won’t be worried about fighting when they are done.”
“Ahh. Great strategy.” I looked up at Hawk. His eyes followed the boys. “I guess you don’t need me then?”
He shook his head. “I’ve got this covered.”
“Ok.” I turned to leave.
When I got back to the rear door of the building I heard the other kids on the field start to cheer the two running on.
“Come on, guys you can do it. Just a little further.”
“You got this.”
“Woohoo.”
I grinned. This was the first time in almost four years working at the school that I could remember every single child on the field worked together toward one goal.
It was enlightening and heartwarming. I wished I could capture it and save if forever. I realized I could. I ran to my office, grabbed my cell phone, and raced back to the rear exit. I pressed record as the boys passed the field goal posts. The rest of the team jumped and cheered for them. They had less than twenty yards left to go. I followed them all the way, capturing each and every moment until the very end. when I panned out and caught Kane Hawkins staring directly at me with a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. His eyes locked onto mine. I could feel the heat in his gaze from across the field.
I wanted to run from him. I wanted to turn and shut the door behind me, locking it soundly afterwards. But I couldn’t move. I was held immobile by his tranquilizing stare. Chills broke out along the flesh of my arms, traveling upward to my chest. My nipples hardened and I shivered.
I shivered from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet.
One look.
That’s all it took and I knew that if I let that man get his hands on me again I would never be the same.
So why did I have to fight every single muscle in my body to turn and walk inside instead of back across the field and stand next to him?
Eleven
Kane
After a week of volunteering at the center, I started to realize the impact I had on the kids. It was kicking my ass splitting up my time between the Sharks and the kids, but I had a sudden need for both.
Julie hadn’t made things any easier. Every time I saw her all I could think about was the night at the back of Catch. But she wouldn’t let me get close to her.
A bell rang in the distance and at least two dozen kids started to rush the field. I watched as Hunter melted into the background, not wanting to be a part of the group.
For some reason it bothered me. I’d observed it for days. They were like a pack of dogs, picking on the puppy. If I had a few minutes alone with Hunter he wasn’t that shy. I’d gotten to know the kid. But as soon as the older kids showed up, he retreated faster than a guy on special teams trying to dodge a tackle.
One of the older kids picked up the discarded football the children started to sort teams. I strolled over to Hunter and waited for him to make eye contact with me.
“Why are you not over there playing?” I asked him.
“They don’t it when I play.” His voice was quiet. I wanted to wipe the smudge of dirt from his cheek but I stuffed my hands in my pockets. I knew he had a no-contact policy.
“Why not?”
“Because they said only kids with families should play. No one is going to come see me play so there is no point.”
“The little shits said that?”
Truth was I didn’t know Hunter’s story. Not all of it anyway. But I wasn’t always the star quarterback. I didn’t always play in the AFA. I had a past. One I wasn’t proud of. Only that I had survived it.
Hunter’s eyes widened.
“Sorry. Language.” I shrugged. “Don’t tell Miss Bristow. Ok? I’ll work on it.” I hadn’t cut much cursing, but I knew she hated it around the kids.
He smiled lightly.
“Let’s go. If you want to play, you’re getting in that game.” I almost slung my arm around his shoulder.
“No it’s ok, really. I don’t mind not playing.”
“Well, I only play with the best so unless you come I’m not playing.” I smirked. All week I had been tossing passing with him. I’d never seen so much natural talent.
“Really? You think I’m good?”
“Damn straight kid, now let’s go.”
He ran ahead of me. Before I even reached the huddle I already heard the kids telling him they didn’t want him there. That he didn’t need to play. I listened, wanting to hear every word. Every second that passes made my blood run hotter.
I didn’t get how little kids could be so mean and hateful to each other. What the hell happened to playing together and having a good time? Why did they give two damns about who had what or who was who? These little fuckers had no idea how good they had it. It pissed me off even more.
“No one wants you, Hunter. Even your family didn’t want you. You can’t even find a new family to want you. You suck. Go away.”
I saw the poor little guy trying his best to be strong and stay there. He was doing what I asked him to do. It filled me with pride. I wanted to wrap him up in a tight hug and let him know that he had someone in his corner.
There was a ringleader in gangs. There always was. I walked to the center of their circle. I turned my head to the left and the right as if I was searching the crowd for someone and then I pointed to the oldest kid. I could see Hunter out of the corner of my eye. His shoulders dropped and his whole body looked like the world was sitting on top of them. No eight-year-old deserved that.
“What’s your name?”
There was fear in the kid’s face. “J-Jamie.” He swallowed hard. Suddenly the ring leader wasn’t the badass he thought he was.
“Well, Jamie. We’ve known each other how long?”
True I hadn’t memorized their names. The only one I really kept an eye on was Hunter.
“A week, sir.”
I nodded. “Yeah. A week. Thought we could scrimmage today.”
I heard them whisper around me.
“Ok.” Jamie wasn’t entirely sure where I was going with this.
“And I get to choose the team captains. You know what the Sharks expect out of their QB?”
The kids around me shook their heads.
“They want some damn loyalty.” I’d apologize for the cursing later. “They want someone they can count on. A man who will have their back on game day. Not some dick, talking shit about them.”
I glared at each and every one of them.
I flicked my hand, beckoning Hunter to come stand next to me. He was slow to push through the crowd. I handed him the ball and then looked out at the rest of kids watching.
“Hunter is going to be team captain of the blue team,” I announced. “And if I were you, I’d want to be on his team. Because he can throw almost as good as me.” I winked at Hunter. “Almost. So who wants to play on Team Blue?”
A flock of hands launched into the air immediately. I smiled. I looked at Hunter. “Pick your team, kid. The rest play with me.”
Hunter stood straight, shoulders square. His voice was sure and confident as he choose his team. I patted him on the shoulder and smiled down at him proudly as the rest of the kids fell in line.
Maybe tomorrow I could find some way to convince Cal and Joe into coming down he
re and playing a little with the kids. Hell, I might even be able to get Aaron too, if I get him away from that bitch his dating long enough. It would help Hunter to know that he has the whole DC Sharks backing him up. Maybe all these other little fuckers will start to be nicer.
Not that I really cared. The kid sort of reminded me of myself when I was his age. I sure as shit wished someone had stepped in and offered me a hand up a time or two.
“All right. Let’s play some football,” I announced.
She was standing in the doorway. The same place she was every night when the field was more dark than light.
“How was it, kiddo?” she asked Hunter.
He grinned. “Awesome.”
“Ok, get your stuff and I’ll drive you back.”
I noticed she never called it home. Hunter ducked past her and ran through the halls.
“He’s really good.” I crossed my arms, leaning on the door opposite of her. My eyes followed her legs up to her hips. Those tight skirts she wore drove me crazy.
“I’m glad he has found something he likes. I didn’t know if it would happen.” I heard sadness there.
Shit. I was going to ask. I knew it.
“So, what’s the kids’ deal? You always wait for him at the end of the day. Does he stay with you or something?”
She closed her eyes. “He’s in between foster care right now.”
“Shit,” I muttered.
“He’s in a home for children waiting to be placed with another family. It’s worse than an adoption center. He has no normal. No security. No one. And when he does get placed who knows how long he’ll stay there. He’s already been with three different families.” Her eyes misted and I felt something rip through my chest.
I took a step forward, brushing my hand against her arm.
“He’s a good kid.” I spoke slowly. I wanted her to know how deeply I believed it. How deeply I already believed in this kid.
She nodded, wiping the tear from her cheek. “He is. I love him. I’m not supposed to do that, but I do. I can’t help it. There’s something about him, you know?”
She looked up at me with those big blue eyes. “I do know,” I replied.
What the fuck was happening?
“I’m ready.” Hunter bumped in between us and I took a quick step back.
“Hey, buddy.” I ruffled the top of his head and I heard him giggle. It had taken all week for him to let me get that close. It was my own kind of victory.
“We have to get going,” Julie said it, but I didn’t know if she wanted to let me know or Hunter.
“Right.” I had an owners’ meeting. The playoffs weren’t going to fucking win themselves. There was strategy and personnel to discuss with management. It was one of the pros or cons of being the quarterback. I had team and administrative roles whether I liked it or not.
“Good night, Hawk.”
Julie guided Hunter out the door toward the parking lot.
My first response was to follow her ass as she sashayed on those high heels. But as they walked farther away and I saw Julie lean down to say something to Hunter. I wanted to run up behind them and wrap my arms around their shoulders. It was in that moment I knew I was in way over my head.
Twelve
Julie
I could barely concentrate on the road. Hunter was buckled in the backseat and I needed to get him to the home before I had to explain why we were late. And why was that? Because I was falling for a notorious playboy? I was too busy flirting to be punctual?
I sighed, turning onto the dark street where I had to drop off Hunter. It was always the hardest part of my day. The worst. The saddest. The most heart-wrenching.
I put the car in park and walked around to Hunter’s side, lugging his school bag out for him.
“Ready?” I asked with a smile on my face.
He nodded. “I guess.” The happiness he had earlier was gone. He hated this part of the day too.
I wished things were different. I wished I had a way to adopt him. But I had been down that road. I couldn’t make it happen. With my salary there was no way I could afford the legal expense.
“I’ll pick you up for school in the morning, ok?”
I watched him walk up the stairs.
He didn’t answer and I felt the pain in my ribs. I wanted to drag him back to the car and take him home. Tuck him into a soft warm bed. Read him stories. Try to build Lego towers with him. Argue over what was going to happen in the next Star Wars movie. But I couldn’t do any of those things. Instead I was a single twenty-six year old woman who could barely pay her bills.
I had been so desperate I took that stupid job at Catch. I didn’t even have that anymore.
“Good night,” I called after Hunter.
He looked at me over his shoulder and my heart broke a little more.
“Night.” He walked up the stairs.
It happened every time I drove home from leaving Hunter. I felt like I had somehow let him down. It was stupid guilt again. I wanted to do more for him, I just didn’t know how.
I was going to spend the rest of the night looking for part-time jobs. I’d be a dog-walker. A plant-sitter. A night-time driver if I had to. I had to keep trying. I hadn’t made the right decision before, but I was going to this time.
I stopped at a red light and the thought almost slapped me in the face. It was as blaring as the red light.
How was I any different from Kane Hawkins? A man who made bad decisions openly. Me, a woman who swore she lived on the right side of morality, but slipped any chance there was temptation. Why was I so tough on the man all the time?
I knew part of it was to hide the side he had seen. I didn’t want him to think of me that way. Or did I?
Everything was muddled and confused.
I pulled into the parking garage of my apartment complex when I looked down and saw the number for the children’s home flash on my screen. I scrambled to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Jenni. Julie, are you still out with Hunter?”
It was stupid, but I looked at the empty backseat of my car. “No, I dropped him off twenty minutes ago. I watched him walk inside.”
I heard the alarm in Jenni’s voice. She was the night time coordinator. Over the past year I’d gotten to know her well enough that she trusted the arrangement I had with Hunter.
“He’s not here,” she stated
“What?” I gripped the steering wheel with my free hand. Had I seen him actually walk in the building? Did the door close behind him? It was such a part of our nightly routine one night ran into the other.
“Where did you look?” I asked Jenni.
“Everywhere. We’ve asked all the children. Checked the lounges, the dining hall, bathrooms. Nothing. We can’t find him. I’m going to have to call in an Amber Alert immediately.”
“Oh my God.” My stomach plunged to my feet. I thought I was going to be sick.
“Julie, what was he wearing today?”
“Oh-umm.” I stared at the steering wheel. “Jeans. I’m sure he had on jeans. And a T-shirt? I think it was red.”
“Ok. That’s helpful. I can let the police know. I have his height here. Do you have any suggestions of somewhere else we should look? Anything I could tell the police? Did he mention something today? Was anything off with him?”
I shook my head. “No. He had a great day at school and an even better day at clubs after school. He actually played with the other kids today. He’s making real progress with Kane Hawkins.”
And that’s when it hit me. I had an idea.
“Jenni, I’m going to make some calls. I’m going to start looking for him. Promise me you’ll call me when you find him. And I’ll do the same. I’m not going to sleep until I know he’s back in his bed. I swear to you.”
“I know you’re worried. I’ll let you know as soon as I have a lead. Thanks, Julie.”
My ignition was still running. I dug through my leather bag and held up the card I
had received a week ago. It had all of Hawk’s information on it.
My fingers hesitated for only a second. I had to do this for Hunter.
Thirteen
Kane
The owners’ meeting didn’t last long. We had a problem with injuries. The roster wasn’t ideal. For now, we were in a recovery mode while we waited to hear back from the team therapists. I was home earlier than I expected.
My cell rang on the counter, vibrating against the granite. It was the third time in less than ten minutes it had rung. I was positive it was Joe calling again. I had already told him I didn’t feel like going out and partying tonight. I didn’t care that the Warriors were on tonight. Something about them always pissed him off. I wanted to focus on our game. Not what they had going on in Texas.
I pushed myself off the couch. I didn’t recognize the number. I almost didn’t answer, but part of me was fucking relieved I didn’t have to hear Joe’s voice again.
“Hello.”
“Hawk?”
“Julie?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry to call you at home and I know it’s late, but—”
There was panic in her voice. Something was definitely wrong.
“Don’t apologize. What’s going on?” I asked.
“It’s Hunter. I dropped him off and now he’s missing. They’re going to have to call in an Amber Alert. And I’m completely freaked out. Do you have any idea what he’ll go through if he police start looking for him? I don’t think he could handle it.”
“Slow down. Hey, it’s going to be ok. We’ll find him.”
I already had my keys in my hand and locked the door behind me.
“We?”
“Yeah, I’m coming to where you are. You shouldn’t drive. I’ll help you look. We’ll find him together.”
“You sure?”
I’d never been so fucking sure of anything in my life. If that kid was out on the streets by himself I wasn’t going to sit around like an asshole waiting for a phone call. I was going to find him.
