Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  That was the only thing I needed from him to let me know that he wasn’t going to kill me. He was going to spare my life…for now.

  I fisted a hand around the base of his cock and the other grasped his balls, massaging. He thickened even more in my mouth as I sucked, showing him what he did to me. When his breathing picked up and his chest heaved, he rolled his hips forward, stroking himself against my tongue. He was with me; I had him right where I wanted him to be. With me.

  I deep throated him again and held, squeezing his balls in my hand and he moaned loudly, fisting his hands into my hair. When I pulled back, I dragged my teeth along his skin, milking his cock as hard as I could.

  X came to life, pumping as I sucked him to orgasm. I took every single drop as he exploded into my mouth, I took it all and swallowed, soothing his hot skin with my tongue.

  When he was done, he collapsed next to me on the bed, his gaze fixed on mine. He was exhausted. Utterly beaten. What the fuck had they done to him?

  “I won’t run,” I whispered, lying next to him.

  His eyelids drooped. “I’m lost.”

  “I know,” I replied, reaching out with a shaking hand. “I’m going to find you.”

  My wrists were rubbed raw and I ached all over, but it was worth it. X was coming back to me.

  He sighed. “They were meant to let me go…”

  “And they will.”

  I thought we lived with the same darkness, but it turned out I wasn't like X at all. X had been broken, his humanity taken. I gave mine away.

  It was time to take it back for both of us.

  I didn’t know what was going to happen, or when X would snap again, but I was determined to get my revenge. It wasn’t just mine I wanted anymore. They’d broken X and now Royal Blood had to pay as well. My hit list was growing and I finally had the guts to go through with it, because now? Now, I had something to look forward to.

  But first I had to fight for X’s soul. I had to bring him back.

  That bright shining future I wanted so badly? It was nothing but darkness without X.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  X

  We can take our lives back.

  Mercy had opened something inside me that I’d thought was lost. She was also Alison Crawford, the woman I was meant to kill, but she was Mercy Reid to me.

  She was a new kind of monster.

  She’d fallen asleep, the toll of the pain and pleasure I’d inflicted upon her body overcoming her desire to stay awake. I no longer had the desire to kill her. At least, not right at that moment. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but I had to do something. Greggor and Sykes were expecting results and Weiss…he was smart enough to see right through me if I couldn’t hold myself together. I couldn’t snap again like I had last night.

  I’d stood in the shower, washing her from my skin, washing her scent and touch down the drain, washing myself until I was as raw as I felt on the inside, but she was still there. She’d stained me from the inside out.

  Standing over her, I eased her bruised body into one of my T-shirts, my gaze lingering on the black marks around her neck. Beautiful pain… Tearing myself away, I bound her hands to the bedpost, this time tying her hands together, instead of apart. She said she didn’t want to run, that she couldn’t…but I didn’t believe her. I still saw fear in her eyes as she spoke her promise to me. Was it fear of death, revenge, pain…fear of me? I didn’t know, but until it was gone, I would restrain her for her own good.

  Her eyelids began to flutter as I sat next to her. I’d taken her right to the edge of death so many times and I’d fucked her so hard… She was exhausted.

  I caressed her face as she stirred, running a thumb over her full lips, remembering the feeling of them wrapped around my cock. People pleaded with me to spare their lives all the time. They got on their knees and cried, bargained, offered me money, and nothing had ever swayed me to even contemplate sparing them from their fate. Nothing had ever broken through until sex with Mercy Reid.

  Ironic, really. The pussy that had broken the pretty boy killer.

  Mercy’s eyes opened and she stared at me blankly for a moment until she realized where she was. Her lips parted and she went to raise a hand, but her movement was restricted. Jerking against the ropes, she stared up at me, a wild look of fear in her eyes. Fear mixed with confusion.

  “X...”

  “I can’t have you escaping, Mercy,” I murmured, running a hand through her hair. At least this time I gave her something to wear, although coming back to her naked body spread-eagled on my bed didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

  “I promised I wouldn’t run,” she pleaded.

  “I know you did,” I said, wondering how much she actually believed her own sentiment. “But it’s going to take a lot more than one night to break me, Mercy. A lot more.”

  “Please, X.”

  She gasped as I brushed my hand over her breast and lingered on the place I’d bitten in my manic state. The memory of her blood against my tongue made my cock stir.

  “X,” she said again. “It hurts. The ropes hurt my skin. See?”

  She glanced at her wrists, urging my gaze to follow and I reached up and took her hands in mine. Her skin was raw and peeling, chafed by the ropes I’d bound her with the night before. Knowing I’d put them there…it fucking turned me on.

  “You have room to sit up,” I said, dropping her hands. “But I will not untie you again.”

  I stood sharply and strode towards the door.

  “What are you going to do with me?” she asked and I stopped in the doorway, not knowing the answer to that question myself.

  Mercy had sparked something inside of me, a chain reaction that I didn’t understand or had the knowledge to stop. She was mine now.

  I’d lock her up and keep her there forever if I had to. I was a master at taking life away, maybe I could plant enough evidence to fake her death. Then I could keep her forever.

  I glanced at her over my shoulder and smiled. “Whatever I want.”

  *****

  Keeping secrets was my business, it was who I was, but it wasn’t something I’d ever had to do with Weiss or Royal Blood. It went against everything I was to keep them out of the loop. They knew all of my depravities better than I did.

  I parked my bike out the front of The Gambler’s Inn, feeling torn for the first time in my sordid life. Keep her or kill her.

  Shoving through the front door of the pub, my gaze automatically went to the bar. Fucking Mercy Reid. I knew she wasn’t there, but I looked all the same. Everywhere I turned there was a reminder of her waiting to assail my senses.

  That fat Necromancer fuck that’d held a knife to her throat in that exact spot where Brock was standing. He was staring at me like I was a crazy motherfucker and wasn’t that the truth, now more than ever.

  Whatever they did to me was unraveling piece by piece, but I had to stay stuck together for as long as I could. I didn’t understand how she cracked the edges of my mind and wormed her way in. I didn’t understand how I knew slivers of my past, but didn’t give a shit about piecing them together.

  All I understood was that Mercy Reid was locked in my apartment and she was the woman who’d tried to kill Sykes. She was the woman I was meant to kill to appease my masters.

  Glaring at Brock, I strode across the pub and shoved the door to Weiss’ office open with a violent jab.

  “Fuck X,” Weiss cursed at my abrupt appearance.

  I sank down onto the sofa, kicking my boots up onto the coffee table. “Got any of that fancy scotch?”

  “I’m saving that, asshole.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “For what? Another Necromancer raid? You gunna give some to your boyfriend out front?”

  Weiss sighed sharply and got up from his chair. “Whatever.” He took down the scotch from on top of the filing cabinet and poured two glasses. Handing one to me, he asked, “What’s up your ass? Shouldn’t you be out looking for-”

  “I’m
getting to it,” I snapped, taking the glass.

  “What happened to your hand?” Weiss asked, giving me the once over. “You look like fucking shit, by the way.”

  I glanced at the broken skin across my knuckles and shook my hand out like it would instantly cure the wound. An image of the broken plaster in my bedroom flashed through my mind. “Nothing.”

  “How's it going? Sykes is asking questions.”

  “It’s been less than two weeks, Weiss. He can get fucked.”

  “Try telling that to him,” he said, sitting behind the desk again. “He wants results, X. The trail is getting colder by the minute.”

  “Then they shouldn’t have left it so fucking long,” I snapped before downing a mouthful of scotch. The alcohol burned a smooth trail down the back of my throat. This really was the good stuff. Weiss had been holding out on me.

  “How close are you?”

  “Closer than they ever got.” She was locked in my apartment, but I wasn’t so sure I was going to give her up yet. Mercy was my key to freedom, but in her desperation, she’d offered me something a little more delectable than that. She’d offered retribution for us both, but she’d also offered my soul. Royal Blood couldn’t give me that. They would never give back what they’d taken.

  “Have you seen Mercy?” Weiss asked, tapping the side of his glass.

  I glanced up, unsure of what to say.

  “I know you two were fucking,” he said. “I warned her off you. If you’ve done something to her, X…”

  “I’ve done shit to her,” I snapped. “I fucked her over your desk, by the way. I came right there.” I pointed to where his cigarettes were sitting in front of him.

  Weiss jerked back, picking up his precious smokes, a look of disgust on his face. “Ugh, you dirty fuck.”

  “I seem to remember you fucking some bitch on the back of my bike,” I said rolling my eyes. “I call this even.”

  “I'm not shitting around, X. She didn't turn up for work.”

  “Is that why that gobshite Brock is back out there?”

  “I'm worried about her.”

  I snorted, trying to cover up my jealousy. That was a new one and fuck it stung. “Why? Want to stick your pin dick in her?”

  “Fuck, X,” Weiss said, leaning back in his chair. “You of all people could see she was good for this place. I don't know what the fuck she was looking to get lost from, but I'd rather she did it here.”

  Fuck me. If he knew who Mercy really was, his opinion would do a total one-eighty.

  “Maybe she wanted to get lost someplace else,” I said, never taking my gaze from his.

  “See,” he replied, jabbing his finger at me, “when you say shit like that, it gives me the chills. You better not have-”

  “Believe me Weiss, I have not killed Mercy Reid. How could I deprive the world of her bitch of a mouth?”

  Weiss narrowed his eyes. “So you're not shitting me. You really haven't seen her?”

  “I'm not shitting you,” I replied, annoyance starting to shred my control. “I fucked her the night before last. Left her naked and spread out on her bed. That was the last time I saw her.”

  “Fine,” Weiss declared, pulling a cigarette out of his packet. “But I just want to know one thing.”

  I raised an eyebrow as he flicked his lighter and stuck the end of his cigarette into the flame.

  “Did she fuck you or did you fuck her?”

  I let a sly smile pull at my lips. Weiss knew nothing, which meant I still had all the power.

  “You know me,” I said. “I fuck everyone one way or another.”

  “Fuck, do I know it.” He took drag from his cigarette and let the smoke billow from his mouth. “You okay with this one? I mean, a hit has never taken you this long before.”

  “It’s not as straightforward as I’m used to,” I replied. I swirled the scotch around in my glass and breathed in the scent. Even if Mercy Reid wasn’t behind it, it would still be difficult. “The trail is already cold.”

  “Nothing like a good challenge to get you back in the game, huh?”

  I snorted before downing the rest of the scotch. Standing, I slid the empty glass across the desk and Weiss caught it before it smashed onto the floor. As far as I was concerned my status report was over.

  “If you see Mercy, tell her to get her ass in here.”

  “And why would I see her?”

  Weiss regarded me for a moment. “Suit yourself.”

  Narrowing my eyes at him, I realized that my ‘best mate’ had a thing for Mercy. Like fuck I’d let him get his greasy paws on her. Not if I had anything to do with it. Without another word, I shoved out of Weiss’ office wondering what I was going to do about that. I knew him well enough to understand that if she didn’t show up soon, he would go looking and the first place he’d check was my apartment.

  What was I going to do about that? Whatever it took.

  I wasn’t ready to give her up yet.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Mercy

  I waited for what felt like an age before I tested the rope around my wrists.

  X was gone, doing god knew what, and there was no way I was letting him tie me up again. He had to see that he could trust me…and I had to see a little more of the man I was trying my hardest to save.

  He’d left the lamp on, but the curtains were shut tight. It could be any time of day out there and I wouldn’t even know. I had no idea how long I was out for, how long X had toyed with me and how long I’d slept for afterwards.

  I had no way of knowing that when he came back, that he would still be in the same mindset, or if he would be alone. There was only one thing he’d said to me that gave me any sliver of hope that I still had him. They were meant to let me go.

  I wriggled my wrists against the rope, trying to get some slack against the knot. If I could loosen it just enough, I might be able to slip a hand free. I worked at the rope, sawing into my skin even more. Little droplets of blood oozed to the surface and I hissed, licking my skin to soothe the burn. I let my head bang against the headboard of the bed, the image of X over me, sinking his teeth into my skin seared into my memory. He’d looked so…enraptured.

  Gasping as the rope bit into my skin even more, I tugged hard and my right hand slipped free. He’d restrained me again, but this time he’d been gentle about it. I had to give him at least half a point for that one. X was going in the right direction. I just had to hope that by going out into the world and back into his sordid hitman life, he wouldn’t forget what had happened here.

  Flexing my fingers, I slid across the bed, placing my bare feet onto the carpet. Standing, I winced as my muscles screamed in protest. I felt him all over me. His hands, his mouth…his cock. X had almost obliterated me and it was only day fucking one. Or at least it still felt like day one.

  Balls, Mercy, I thought. Show him your big balls. Don’t let him give you shit. It was the exact same thing I’d thought the day I’d met Weiss at The Gambler’s Inn… Fuck! Weiss… I’d probably already missed a shift at the pub and I hadn’t missed any before. I’d never even been late. Snorting at the irony of being a model employee, I shuffled across the carpet towards X’s closet of horrors.

  What if he came looking? What would X do if he was forced to hand me over? That was a thought too heavy to handle, so for now I resigned myself to something I could tackle right now and that was going through X’s stuff.

  I’d caught a glimpse the night before when X had fetched a knife to cut me free and that was bad enough. What else did he keep in here? I slid open the closet door, my hands shaking and slipping on the handle.

  I gasped as I laid eyes on the full extent of X’s depravity. These were the tools of his trade. I got the fact that he was a hitman, that he killed people for money and for Royal Blood, but it was another thing seeing it.

  I ran my fingers over a rack of knives, nasty looking things with different kinds of blades. Some were long and thin, others wide with jagged teeth, but a
ll of them had one thing in common. They could gut a man from head to toe in one fell swoop. My entire body tingled at the thought of the blades cutting into my chest and I swallowed the urge to heave up the non-existent contents of my empty stomach.

  I could run…I could run and hope that I could get far enough before X came back, but who was I fucking kidding? I had nowhere to go. No friends, no family, no money or belongings. I could go to the cops, but I’d be stuck into witness protection for the rest of my life. I’d never get my chance for revenge then. Sykes would be untouchable. No, I had to take a gamble on X. He was my only hope and my fucked up heart wouldn’t be able to take it if I left him behind.

  I slid the door further across, opening the closet space right up and gasped as the full extent of X’s collection came to light. There were all kinds of guns in a rack to one side, semi-automatics, shotguns, revolvers, handguns, silencers and scopes and drawers full of ammunition.

  Holy fucking shit.

  I stared at a high tech looking sniper rifle and felt a pang of fear, but at the same time, I wondered if I could learn to use something like that.

  I leaned further into the closet and stumbled, my knees giving out beneath me. My shoulder smashed into the back paneling hard and I winced as pain shot through my bones. Fuck. I was weak, hungry and hadn’t washed in at least two days. X wasn’t the only one in this equation having a breakdown. I smashed a fist against the back of the closet in frustration, but stilled as I was greeted with a hollow thud. There was something hidden behind all of this madness...

  The pain began to dissipate as my curiosity got the better of me and I pressed my palms against the wall and pushed. A faint click echoed in the closeness of the closet and the wall began to slide to the left. It was a false panel and it’d only been stupid luck that I’d found it at all. The entire wall was smooth and the joints in the paneling could easily be mistaken for being a part of the cabinetry.