He paused, found my eyes again. “The truth is, I’m not sure I’d be standing up here tonight if it wasn’t for the care of one single girl. All those rumors that’ve been flying around? Well, they wouldn’t be rumors and instead my band would be telling a very different story tonight.”
Blood hammered through my veins.
“She saved me, and I don’t think she’s quite yet grasped what that means to me. But I’m hoping there’s a chance she’ll realize it tonight.”
His eyes held me for the longest beat, before he jerked his attention away, turned it back on the waiting crowd. “I know I normally don’t stand out front with a guitar and we don’t normally play covers, but I’m bettin’ y’all would be willing to hang with me for a bit, yeah?”
Shouts and cheers vibrated the walls. A thunder of approval. My racing heart skipped a wayward beat.
God.
I was in so much trouble when he began to play. When he opened his mouth and the most seductive voice came sliding out.
He jumped into a cover of Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars.”
But he was playing it gritty and raw. Like a tortured, perfect plea. It slammed against me with a direct shock to every single one of my senses. All of it was wrapped up in the man at the center of the stage.
A spotlight.
A beacon.
Sensuous and alive.
Standing up there, I saw a man consumed by the secrets he held in the recesses of his mind.
Gone to a depth he’d only barely let me glimpse.
But I knew it was there. Hidden beneath his own intimidating, striking exterior was something dark and shadowy and pained all mixed up with a goodness I thought maybe he didn’t even know was there himself.
He sang the song as if it might be his last.
With everything.
By the time he trailed off at the end, my throat was completely locked tight. Questions swirled through my spirit and mind. The confusion he incited in me had never been greater than in that single moment.
Because I got what he was saying.
But somehow it felt like he just might be saying more.
He stepped back and took his bass before the band continued with their set.
Tonight’s style was so far removed from the loud, thrashing music I knew they normally played. Each song raw and unplugged. I floated and swam through the intensity.
Wave after wave.
Lost to the vibe and the music and the lyrics.
Lost in the man.
I almost felt shocked when the set suddenly ended to a roar of applause echoing from the old walls.
And by the time Ash set his bass aside and jumped down from the front riser of the stage as if he’d never been injured at all, I was a complete, utter mess.
The DJ took over, and a dance beat started pounding through the overhead speakers.
Erratic, my heart sped harder and faster when Ash shouldered through the crowd, offering thank yous and smiles as he passed.
But he clearly had only one target in his sights.
The man was so dangerous and alive.
Compelling.
Magnetic.
A bright, bright flame.
As he burst through, he cast out a cocky smile intended only for me.
I swore it touched me from across the distance. There was absolutely nothing I could do but climb to my shaky feet.
Wings fluttered in my belly. Anticipation and warmth.
I blinked through the realization. I was excited. Excited to get close to a man I had no business getting close to.
What did I think I was doing? Setting myself up yet again to play the fool?
He’d made himself perfectly clear. Our lives were heading in opposite directions.
Polar.
For these few short months, they would intersect in the middle. But that didn’t mean we’d ever end up in the same vicinity.
But there I stood, helpless as he came straight for me. He didn’t slow. His long strides ate up the ground, his muscles straining beneath his shirt, the color etched on his skin dancing and playing like a tease.
He didn’t stop.
And my breath was gone when he dipped down and wound those big arms around my hips, scooping me up as if I weighed absolutely nothing.
He spun me round and round, his face turned up with all that easy joy as he laughed.
No shame.
No worries.
All I could do was hang on to him. “Ash, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
That smirk. “Nah, baby, you’d never hurt me.”
I grappled to take control of my emotions, which were quickly spinning out of control as he slowly slid me down the planes of his hard, hard body.
“What did you think?”
I think you’re amazing.
I think the real you is someone no one really sees.
I think I could fall for you.
Too easily.
So stupidly.
“You were brilliant,” I whispered, feeling brave as I reached up to touch his face. I searched that sea of blue, the way his eyes tossed and turned and played. “Thank you for bringing me here,” I said.
His big hands gripped me by the outside of my thighs and he tugged me close.
“Peaches.” He sounded almost confused, as if he couldn’t make sense of this, either.
At the contact, I gasped, my hands twisting into fists in the fabric of his shirt. The words left me before I could stop them. “What are you doing to me?”
thirteen
Ash
That was the fucking problem. I didn’t have the first clue what I was doing. Had no grip on the direction my intentions were heading.
Because shit.
Standing there with her wrapped in my arms? That scent flooding me and her soft body tucked against mine?
I wanted to keep her.
Just for a little while.
But I knew doing that would be nothing less than a sin, taking this sweet, innocent girl and marking her…corrupting her.
She wanted all the good things in this life that I didn’t have to give. Those things? They were out there somewhere, waiting to find her.
God knew, that bastard wasn’t me.
But that didn’t stop me from drawing her closer, murmuring, “Dance with me,” as I led her deeper into the throng. A riot pitched and throbbed with the heavy dance beat. It vibrated the floor and shocked through our bodies. Strobes glinted and those chocolate eyes flashed.
Goddamn.
She was beautiful, staring up at me as if she were seeing something that just wasn’t there. It was a part of me that had been buried a long time ago. It was the part that wanted to reach down and wrap her up and hold on forever.
Somehow, being in her space made me almost remember what that was like. The glimmer of hope that would spark in my belly, a fear that terrified me with the thought of ever letting go.
That familiarity.
It was always there, nagging at me from somewhere in the recesses of my brain.
I was so close to recognizing it.
Sucking in a breath, I let my hand glide to the curve of her slender waist. She trembled with the contact, and my fingers twitched, itching for more when I knew damned well I couldn’t have it.
The thrumming crowd swallowed us. We were lost in the middle. To the flashing lights and the spellbinding darkness and the hypnotic sound. Rocking my hips, I encouraged her to match me. She swayed, breathed out a breathy sigh, let me barely edge my knee between her thighs.
What the fuck did I think I was doing?
Problem was, I didn’t quite know how to stop myself.
The only thing I knew was I wanted her to be free. To feel what it was like to be unchained. Unbound. Loosed from the bullshit betrayal of that asshole, Bates. So, we danced this delicate, confused dance in the midst of the grind of bodies and the heady pulse of pounding blood.
The entire scene was like a prelude to sex.
Forep
lay.
Hot and heated and uncontrolled.
I could almost smell it.
Taste it.
I moved, inching in closer, my knee wedging deeper between her thighs.
She stiffened.
My mouth was at her ear. “I’ve got you, Peaches. Let go.”
She warred, but I could feel it, the tension bounding through her muscles. Pulsing then giving.
I cinched my arm around her waist, hugged her closer, my free hand on that gorgeous face.
“Ash.” She exhaled it. Needy and deep.
It was the first time she called me by my first name. It slammed me like an electric prod, and I pulled her closer. My hips were up tight against hers, beat to beat, my nose lost in the lush, silky fall of her hair.
She was so fucking warm.
So fucking soft.
And those legs.
Those long, long legs.
She was wearing the shortest damned dress, beige and flowy and loose, the hem and sleeves trimmed in this lacy ruffle that screamed country, and I was sure it was supposed to come across as demure and sweet.
It didn’t.
It was sexy as hell.
Sinful.
And here I was, the bastard in me itching to get wicked.
Fantasies assaulted me. Those legs wrapped around my waist, my tongue licking them up and down.
Suppressing a groan, I did my best to will my cock into submission. To keep every drop of blood hammering through my veins from sliding south.
Fucking impossible.
Not with the steady brush of her heat against my thigh. Not with the slow sway of her hips and the unsteady heave of her chest.
I could feel her breaths coming shorter and faster, the pitch of them matching mine.
Shit.
I should get laid and do it fast. Tuck this girl in a cab and send her safely on her way. Grab myself one of the willing fangirls that overran the bar. Reach out and take my pick.
Doing it would serve both of us well. The problem was the only thing I wanted right then was her. It had only been her since the morning she’d saved me.
“You have me so spun up, darlin’,” I murmured at her ear. “So spun up I don’t know if I’m comin’ or goin’. It’s me over here wondering what it is you’re doing to me.”
She exhaled a breathy sigh I felt rather than heard. “Ash, I…”
“I know, gorgeous, I know.”
But I didn’t, not really. I could feel us slipping off that line I liked to toe. Tripping over it…and I didn’t know if I wanted to run back to safety or let myself fall.
But getting close was dangerous.
Reckless in a way I refused to be.
But none of those nagging thoughts stopped me from burrowing my nose in her neck, inhaling the scent at the soft skin behind her ear, tracing down to the silky slope of her neck.
Peaches and cream.
Sweet.
Intoxicating.
My lips pressed against the flesh over her pulse. My dick hardened painfully and my heart crashed in my chest.
My tongue slid out for a taste.
Just a little taste.
Her fingers dug into my shoulders, and I jerked back to look down at her, knowing once again I’d pushed this wholesome girl over all those invisible boundaries that were set between us like a trap.
Though, unlike when I’d done it in my room, this time her expression didn’t reflect hurt. It was flushed and flickered with desire and doubt and this crazy need that brewed between us like a storm.
“Ash.” It was a whimper.
Lust slammed me. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her so bad my mouth watered and my gut fisted.
“Think it’s time I took you home, darlin’.”
Before I did something stupid.
Something we’d both regret.
And shit. It killed me to think of this girl regretting me.
“Promised you I’d bring you here, you’d have a good time, and then I’d get you home safely. That’s exactly what I intend to do.”
She blinked, totally shocked out of the trance we’d both been under.
She nodded, though it looked like a tiny bit of hurt that flashed through that warm gaze. “Okay.”
I wound her fingers in mine.
Flames licked up my arm.
Fuck.
This was bad.
A wise man would just keep his mouth shut, but I couldn’t stop myself from needing to say more, to wipe away that flicker of rejection I’d seen flash through her eyes. I yanked her back to me. “Before we go, want you to know one thing. I want you to know you’re the prettiest girl in the whole damned place.”
I let the pad of my thumb run down the angle of her cheek.
Motherfucking sparks.
“Did you know that, Peaches? Did you know you’re the most gorgeous girl here? So fucking sexy and sweet. One look at you and I don’t wanna stop.”
It was precisely why I needed to get her the hell out of here. I should have been granted sainthood when I turned and led her back toward the table. Because my body was screaming and my mind was shouting all the reasons taking her would be okay, when I knew without a shadow of a doubt there would not be one thing okay about it.
It’d be nothing but selfish.
Vile and base.
By the time we got back to the table, my crew was standing to head out.
“There you are, asshole.” Lyrik punched me in the shoulder a little softer than he normally would. “Thought we were gonna have to come hunt you down, because we sure aren’t about to let you have any run ins with any douchebags tonight. Last thing we need is you inciting another rumble.”
“Nah, man, all’s good. You don’t need to worry about that.”
At least for another day.
“You ready to hit it then? Only have the babysitter till one, and mommy and daddy duty is gonna come really fucking early in the morning.”
Still was so weird hearing those words come out of the dude’s mouth.
I chuckled. “Ah, the big bad Lyrik West has turned into a straight pussy.”
“A pussy who’d be happy to drop you flat.”
“You wish you could take me, asshole,” I said with a playful taunt, just smiling as I squeezed Willow’s hand, the girl looking between us as if we were completely crazy.
Admittedly, we were.
Just a little bit.
“Let’s go,” Baz said, leaving a fat stack of large bills in the middle of the table.
With the way the guy tipped, you’d think he’d be broke.
And I was supposedly the one who was heedless with my dough.
We left as a group, a rowdy cluster that weaved back through the thick crowd. We shouted out goodbyes, shouldering through as we received compliments and claps to the back, quick to dodge the hands of chicks who were all too eager to get friendly for the night.
Some of these girls? They had no fucking shame. Didn’t think twice about doing it right in front of Shea, Tamar, and Edie, either, which pissed me right the fuck off.
Apparently, a ring on your finger meant absolutely nothin’ if you were a prisoner to fame.
But Baz, Lyrik, and Austin…they’d become pros. The only thing they offered were tight-lipped smiles and a glare that screamed fuck no.
Every time someone would try to grab my attention, Willow would steal a cautious glance my way. Obviously wondering what’d I do.
If I’d bite or abstain.
Like I’d pull some asshole move and ditch her for a one-night stand.
Like I could stomach one right then, anyway.
Outside, the night had cooled. Darkness hung like a smoky drape from above, the endless canvas splattered with a spray of stars. Streetlamps jetted up at the edge of the cobblestone walk. They cast spikes of light into the hazy fog that rose up from the Savannah River.
There was something haunting about this place at night. Comforting in a dark, mysterious way.
I
reveled in it.
I thought maybe I’d feel out of sorts, have some reservations stepping out into the deep, dense night after what’d gone down three weeks ago.
But no.
I felt…good.
Right in a way I hadn’t in a long, long time.
I looked over at Willow, who was walking next to me. Her hand was in mine, her stunning face upturned toward the sky, eyes closed as if she were breathing the beauty in. As if she were a part of it rather than just a gorgeous observer.
My chest tightened.
Shit.
Light laughter echoed off the worn exterior bricks as everyone chatted quietly. The mood had taken a turn into the subdued as we left the noisy bar behind. Couples snuggled into each other as they ended their night away, Zee out front ambling along, hands stuffed in his pockets.
Peace.
Didn’t have a lot of it in my life. But right that moment? I floated in it.
Good nights were shared, and everyone slipped into their cars.
I unlocked my Navigator and helped Willow inside, trying to ignore the way my body lit up in awareness when I did.
I rounded the front and hopped in, turned over the engine, headed back to the tiny house where I’d picked her up earlier that evening. Silence swam between us, just as complex as the night.
Quiet and brimming with the unanswered.
Finally, I broke it. “Thank you for coming tonight.”
She slanted me one of those gentle smiles. “Tonight was incredible.” She chewed at her lip that threatened a tremble. “Sometimes we get so comfortable behind the protection of our walls, we forget we need to step out from behind them to actually live.”
I glanced at her. “Is that what you’ve been doin’, Willow. Hiding?”
She seemed to contemplate a moment before she spoke. “I don’t think it was conscious or any sort of a decision I made. But it seemed like it all came so fast. Seemed like every time I turned around, I lost someone I loved. My daddy. My sister. My mama. Bates. One loss after another until I got to the point where the only thing I was doing was breathing pain. I guess I folded in on myself as my world folded in around me. It was easier to stay there.”
A million questions whirled through my mind.
She looked over at me. Open. Honest. “But that’s not where I want to be.”
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