by CC Monroe
“No! Don’t we can’t drive!”
“What?” I turn to her, completely shell-shocked. I have no damn idea what’s going on, but it sure as hell is a mind trip.
“We can’t drive. Can we wait in the truck until the rain passes?”
Looking at her, her small hands are curled into even tighter fists, the skin stretching so tight they’ve gone pale. Her eyes are squeezed shut, and I’m sure that’s not rain running down her cheeks, but tears. I know, because they are accompanied by whimpers.
I look around for a second, taking in my surroundings and making sure this isn’t just a dream. Turning my eyes back to her, I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “We can’t sit in the truck. This will last hours. The forecast said today we could expect showers late this evening and they would last all night. We will get cold, and I can’t leave the truck running, babe. I can get us home. Just—”
“No, Jase! We can’t!” She snaps her eyes open, landing on me.
I grow irritated, but seeing how upset she is, I try to keep my cool. “Why? What in the world is going on, Kayla?”
She shakes her head, mumbling over and over the words “I can’t. I can’t.”
Doing my best not to lose my temper with her non answer, I grip the steering wheel a couple times and release a deep breath. “Fine. I have a cabin less than half a mile away. Can I at least drive us there?”
Kayla hesitates, looking from me to the windshield, where the rain pelts my truck. She gulps deep then nods slowly. “Just, please, drive slow.”
“Yeah, okay,” I respond, putting my car in drive.
I get us there in less than three minutes. I climb out and help her down, the rain once again blasting and drenching us through completely. Getting us inside as fast as possible, I try to flip on the lights, but they aren’t working, and I’m sure its due to the storm tonight and the other ones we’ve had between Avery’s and my last visit here. I use the moonlight to help guide me around the familiar space, and I take the wood from our last time here and toss it in the fireplace. Lighting a few matches, I get the fire going, giving the living area a soft amber glow.
I stand back, keeping my hands on my hips and my head dropped low as I watch the flames, and shake my head slowly. What in the actual hell is going on with her right now?
“I—I’m so sorry, Jase. I’m j-j-just a little a-a-afraid of the rain,” she stutters through tears and body chills from the chill.
Turning then, I decide I better just come out and ask. “You gotta give me an explanation for whatever that was, Kayla.” She nods, dropping her head in embarrassment. It breaks my heart to see her so torn up and ashamed. This really must mean something to her, whatever it is inside her that has her so damn afraid.
I step up to her without words and begin to remove her clothes. She doesn’t question me or try to stop me, still too lost in her own mind to even do so. Feeling like ice, she is frozen to the bone, and I know it’s not just the rain that caused it.
Once she is bare to me, I take her clothes and hang them in the bathroom above the tub, then remove mine and do the same. Lucky for me, I have my cabin stocked with everything that it needs in case this happens, including a wireless space heater you crank up to turn on. Giving it a few long and hard spins, it kicks on, and I put it close to the clothes I just rung out and hung, hoping it will dry them out.
Coming back out, I’m surprised to see she has wrapped herself in a blanket and planted herself on the rug in front of the fire. Hearing me enter the room, she looks up to me with a soft smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.
I huff, feeling like a total jackass. I snipped at her a couple times, and I must have been clueless to see this is something serious and meaningful to her. Whatever her fear is, it’s significant, and I should have realized that and respected it before snapping.
“Can you let me in?” Unashamed of my nakedness, I stand above her as she nods, opening the blanket wrapped around her. Her knees are touching and pressed up against her chest as I move myself to place my legs on each side of her hips. Maneuvering her, I grab her ankles and place her feet behind me. Pulling her up and onto my lap so she is straddling me, her chest bare against mine, our body heat warms us up and brings us a connection I feel we will need for this conversation. “Let me in here, baby.” I lean down and kiss above her perfect breast. “And here.” I bring my lips to her temple. Her green eyes lock on mine, and I see a war wage deep inside her. “You can trust me. I will hold your secrets tight and forever.”
She exhales a soft breath. “That’s how they passed. My parents died from a car accident in the rain.”
Shit. The poor girl hasn’t healed at all. No, she is still as broken as the day it happened, and I can tell that all by that solemn look and through my connection with her.
“Release that pain, baby. It’s going to suffocate you if you don’t.” I kiss the top of her shoulder over and over again, her tears sounding like the anthem of her broken heart.
“I lost them in the rain. They were my soul, Jase. My everything. And in a blink, they were gone.”
“I know. I know that feeling all too well. But you are never going to heal the pain if you don’t feel it first, baby. It’s okay to feel it.”
“If I feel it, I’m scared it will kill me. It will just burn every part of me until I’m nothing but ashes.”
“From the rubble, the ashes will rise, and they will fly in the passing wind,” I whisper against her neck, my heart held tightly in a grip by her pain. I know the pain of loss, and I know living in that pain can destroy you. But I also know there is something worth living and overcoming for, and I see it in my daughter’s eyes every damn day. I see it in Kayla’s eyes right here and right now.
“I used to dance with my father in the rain, all the time. We laughed so hard. My mom would watch us from the porch. She hated to get her hair wet, because it would curl into an untamed mess.” She giggles through a sniffle, her eyes dancing in the flicks of light from the fire, and it’s like she’s reliving those moments as we sit here. “Those moments happened so often it became our favorite thing to do; it became my best memory. And now, whenever rain comes, so do the reminders that they are gone. The one thing we loved the most took away what I loved the most.” I wipe away her tears, watching her closely, listening to every word. “I know it sounds so childish and melodramatic. But it’s the truth.” She shrugs and drops her eyes to her hands on my chest, but I don’t let her think for one second that it is anything but painful reality.
“It’s not. It’s raw and real. It’s your heartbreak, baby, and you have every right to hold on to it. But you can’t let it take away everything. You have to remember the good that came with the rain. Maybe…” I pause, pulling her in tighter, wanting her close. “Maybe every time it rains, they are there reminding you of all the great moments you felt closest to them. Maybe they are urging you to let go and dance in the rain again.”
“Jase,” she breaths.
“When I lost Lainey to cancer, I saw her in my daughter every day. I saw the same thing you saw in the rain. I saw pain and reminders of what I lost, but after I realized I had something so much more in my daughter, I stopped looking at her with pain, but with a life of memories and love. I knew I had something to always keep me close to Lainey. Avery became the only thing that kept me alive.”
“You seem like an incredible father, and I’m so sorry you lost your true love. I couldn’t imagine.” She turns the comfort on me.
“It was unimaginable, but Avery got me through it. She gave me purpose, and I knew with time my heart would heal its own wound.”
“Did it? Is it healed all the way yet?” she questions.
I take a deep breath and search her eyes, my hands tightening on her back. “Not until I met you,” I choke out, unable to believe I’m actually admitting this to her.
“I came here, because I was running from something. But then I met you, and I knew I wasn’t running. I was chasing. I was sear
ching for you.”
I kiss her then, bringing her soft, plump lips, swollen from her tears and fresh with her confession, to mine and I claim her. I take what I know was made to be mine. I loved my wife and I always will, but I know Kayla was sent to me from Lainey. My wife sent me a fucking angel.
And the way I know this? Because no one could take my heart in their hands in one damn day. No one. But someone who was made for you could have the power to fucking do it. And here Kayla sits, in my lap and inside my heart, so damn deep I couldn’t break the connection if I tried.
“I want you. Show me how we heal each other,” she whispers into the cabin, as my lips descend on her neck, leaving love bites anywhere I can.
I growl, kissing my way back to her mouth, our tongues fighting for dominance. She tastes so damn good, like new beginnings and painless tomorrows. I will make sure I do whatever I can to keep Kayla in my life. Keep her as mine and learn who she is. I will fall in love first and discover everything about her as we build a life. We are doing this all backwards, but my head and heart have never been more in sync and sure of what tomorrow is going to bring.
Gripping her hips, I lift her and line her up with my cock. Biting at her bottom lip, I slowly bring her down, our breaths catching as our lips part. We watch each other, our brows drawn in euphoric pain. Fuck, she feels like a dream.
“Hold on, baby.” I slow her hips as she tries to lift up again, attempting to take the reins on her first time riding my cock. “If we go too fast, I won’t be able to make this last. You’re killing me.” Nodding, her eyes hazy and lost in lust, she bites her lip, her slowly drying hair clinging to the sides of her neck. “You have to let me guide you. I don’t want this to hurt you, sweet girl.” I start to lift her up and down slowly, watching her mouth fall open, her jaw hanging in a sexy way. I know I’m too big and this is still hurting her, but she likes it and, God knows, so do I. I will die a happy man if I can put that look on her face every night.
“Mmmm. Baby, just like that. Does it feel good? You like slow, sweet?” My voice is low. I’m a monster in a cage, waiting for its captor to let him free.
“It hurts a little. A little softer.” Her eyes dance over my face.
“Relax and open up for me, baby. I can’t stop the pain if you don’t relax. Let me take control.” She nods as I feel her legs loosen a little, and my cock finishes sliding in the last few inches. We both gasp. “You’re perfect, Kayla. I won’t be able to let you run from me.”
“Oh!” she gasps. I hit her deep, right against that sweet spot. “I don’t want to run.”
Grabbing her throat softly yet with firm intention, I watch as her breath deepens and her eyes fall on mine. “You are going to give me a child, a life, a home, aren’t you, sweet thing?” I start to pick up the pace now that she has grown accustomed to my girth.
“You’re that sure of me?”
“I’m that sure. In fact, I look forward to the day you stop taking your pill. The day you are under my roof as mine and I come home to claim this sweet pussy you give me every night. I will fuck you so deep and good that you’ll be pregnant before you even beg for mercy. I’m going to take whatever is mine and whatever you give me. Aren’t I, baby?”
“I think this is lust speaking.” She lets out a loud moan as I thrust into her for testing me.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart, but accept what is.”
“And what’s that?” She leans in and kisses my neck, a siren in sheep’s clothing this little one is.
“Oh, baby,” I moan. “Fuck, I’m falling in love with you.” I don’t give her a chance to speak. Instead, I flip her under me and let the flames burn alongside our lovemaking as I drive my point home, making her come at the same time I do, our names a choked scream on each other’s dry lips.
Chapter Nine
Kayla
I fell asleep after Jase confessed his strong feelings for me, the same ones building inside me. I wanted to tell him I’m feeling the same way, but he made love to me until my eyes closed and I didn’t even have a chance. I hear ringing in the background of my dream state, and it pulls me into consciousness.
“Hello,” Jase answers his cell, fresh from sleep as well. I’m sprawled out on his chest and looking up at him. “Fuck, Mom, is she okay? I’m on my way. I will be right there!”
Suddenly, I jump up and he follows, hurrying toward the bathroom where he put our clothes.
“Jase, what’s going on? Is it Avery?” I ask, panicked, following him so I can get dressed.
“She fell and hit her head. They had to give her stitches. She’s at the hospital, and I have to get to her,” he explains, and I drop the blanket and grab my nearly dry clothes, dressing quickly. “It’s still raining out, so throw some more wood on the fire and I’ll come back and get you once I find out if she’s okay.” He’s a wreck, his face contorted in pure pain and near hysteria.
“No, I’m going with you.”
He stops once his shoes are on and gives me a look of uncertainty. “But the rain, baby.” He grabs my face, and I can tell he is trying to go slow and be in the moment with me, yet still trying to get out the door.
“I don’t care. I’m worried for her too, and I’m not going to make you go alone. Besides,” I mimic him, grabbing his face in my hands, “I’m not scared of the rain so much anymore.” I smile and give him a brisk kiss, turning to head for the door. He doesn’t move until I put him in place. “Dump some water on the fire and let’s go, baby!” That sets him into motion, and within five minutes, we are in his truck and leaving the way we came.
I’m a mess, my insides torn up with nausea, but I hide it. I may be convinced I will one day not fear the rain, but that comes with time. I’m nowhere near fearless of the slippery roads and the heavy rainfall, but I care more about him and Avery. I want to be here for him and make sure she is okay. I don’t even know her, yet I’m more worried for her than I am my own mental health.
“You didn’t have to do this, Kayla. I really can’t thank you enough.” He breaks the silence, his eyes never leaving the road as his jaw tics. I appreciate his safety precautions for me, not speeding, even though I know he’s dying to.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I just want to get you to Avery.”
He smiles this time, and comfort washes over both of us. “Thank you.”
We stay silent, and within twenty minutes, we are screeching to a halt at the ER entrance. I don’t wait for him to open my door; I’m out and right beside him as we run through the sliding doors.
“Avery Riding, my daughter was just brought here. Which room is she?” he asks frantically.
“She is in room 104, but it is family only, sir.”
“That’s fine. This is my wife,” he lies, but the title still makes my stomach flip. A good kind of flip. She smiles and nods, pointing us in the right direction, and Jase takes my hand, walking us briskly down the hall. Coming into the room, I see who I believe is his mother holding a sleeping Avery’s hand in hers. His daughter lies in the bed with a bandage on her right temple.
“Mom, what the hell happened?” he questions, keeping his voice low and letting me go while hurrying to Avery’s side. I watch him cling to her hand, kissing it over and over again, his eyes welling with tears. It’s a beautiful, raw moment, and once again, it shows me a different side of Jase. One that I fall for. I have seen many sides of him in just twenty-four hours, and they are all beautiful.
“I put her to bed upstairs then went back down to clean up our mess and watch some TV, when suddenly I heard a bang. I ran up and saw she tripped and hit her head on the edge of the desk by the bedroom door. I think she was trying to go to the bathroom and was a little out of it and tripped over the rug.” His mom finally looks at me where I stand, still in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt their private family moment. She gives me a genuine smile that reaches her eyes, and I immediately don’t feel as nervous. I’m sure she is curious who this random woman is with he
r son in her granddaughter’s hospital room.
“Shit, Mom, sorry. This is my girlfriend, Kayla.” Girlfriend? Another little flip in my stomach. I’m his girlfriend?
“Watch your mouth around the sweet girl. Kayla, nice to meet you. I’m Paula.” She stands and heads toward me, and I mentally kick myself into gear. I meet her at the front of the bed and reach out to shake her hand. She waves me off and pulls me in for a tight, welcoming hug. Jase looks at us briefly, giving a soft smile, but his eyes go back to Avery just as quickly.
“It’s so nice to meet you, ma’am.”
We separate and she chuckles, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Please don’t call me ma’am. I already feel old with all my gray hairs. Please, call me Paula, or Ma, whichever you like, sweetie.”
“I can do that.”
“Excuse me, can I speak to the legal guardian outside?” the doctor interrupts, and Jase turns to face him.
“Uh, yeah, sure thing.” He stands eagerly, and Paula follows him out to the hall, leaving me with Avery.
I look over her sleeping face, and I see so much of Jase in her. Going to take a seat next to her, I set my bag down on the floor, and when I turn back to face her, her eyes are now open and on me. “Oh, um...hi, sweetheart. I didn’t hear you wake up,” I say stupidly, mentally kicking myself for being so nervous around a five-year-old.
She gives me a soft smile. “It’s okay. Who are you? Are you a nurse lady?”
I chuckle, leaning closer. “No, I’m actually your dad’s g— friend, Kayla. I was with him when we got the call about your head. Are you feeling all right?” I leave out the girlfriend part and focus on comforting her until her dad gets back. I reach forward and move her hair from the side of her face that isn’t hurt, and she suddenly grabs my hand. Little tears fill her eyes, and I worry it’s because of me. “Sweetheart, don’t cry. It’s okay.”
“No, I don’t like hospitals. They make my daddy really sad. I don’t like it here.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m not a fan of them either, so what do you say we play a game?” I think of something quick, something to distract her and put her at ease.
