by Sienna Parks
“Thanks, man. You’re a good friend.”
“I know. I’m fucking amazing.”
“And so modest.”
I hear him laughing as he heads down the street, flipping me the bird.
I stand outside his building for a moment longer, staring at my phone. I pull up her number and wait for a few minutes, knowing that what I’m about to do could change everything. When I finally hit the call button, she answers on the first ring.
“Logan?”
“We need to talk.”
“You’re sending me so many mixed signals. I don’t know which way is up anymore.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I need to see you, I need to explain. Can I come over?”
“I… I need to be at the airport in an hour. That’s why I was leaving Xander’s earlier. I won’t be back for a while. I’m sorry.”
Fuck.
“Don’t apologize. I just wish we hadn’t been interrupted.”
“What happened with Xander? He’s a little protective of me.”
“That’s an understatement. We talked, he slammed me into a wall. I shouted at him in the street, I explained how I feel, and he told me to treat you right.”
“Well, at least he knows how you feel about me, because I sure as hell don’t.”
“Fuck! I wish I could come and see you.”
“I know. Me too. I’m going to Prague and then onto Vienna. I think they’re adding a few other cities onto the tour, so I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Maybe we could talk while I’m gone?”
“Okay. It might be good if we talk when we’re on different continents. I seem to lose my head around you. I shouldn’t have kissed you tonight. You were angry with me, and for good reason. I should have respected that.”
“Logan. I get it. Whatever this is between us, it… it takes over when we’re within two feet of each other. I can’t speak for you, but for me, it’s been a long time coming, and now that I know how it feels to kiss you, to watch you come - I want it so bad it hurts.”
“Fuck me.”
“I want to, but you won’t let me.”
“You’re killing me here, Tori.”
Her laughter is so melodic, like music to my ears. “I’m not going to make it easy on you after you left me naked and frustrated at the wedding.”
“Frustrated? I’m pretty sure I watched you come, more than once.”
“You did, but it still wasn’t enough. I wanted to feel you inside me.”
My heart is racing as she speaks, her sexy voice telling me what she wants from me.
“You need to stop talking. I’m rock-hard, and alone.”
“I need to go now, I’m already running late, but I’ll call you when I get settled at the hotel. You can go and deal with your… rock-hard situation. I’m just hoping you’ll be thinking of me. Remember how I taste, what I sound like when I come; how I look naked and spread wide for you. Do you remember, Logan?”
She knows exactly what she’s doing to me. She’s feisty, and she doesn’t play fair.
“Every single night since it happened. I’m consumed by the memory of you laid bare for me. It haunts my dreams.” I can hear her gasp on the other end of the phone, causing a jolt of desire to course through me. “Travel safely. I’ll speak to you soon.”
“Bye, Logan.”
I put my phone in my pocket and hail a cab. I started tonight with the idea that I would go to Andromeda and lose myself in another woman’s pleasure, but instead, I find myself embarking on a long-distance relationship with a woman I’ve never had sex with; the woman I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember.
I’m so far out of my comfort zone.
Two Months Later
Travelling used to be one of my favorite things, but now, I hate it. Every time that Vittoria has been in New York over the past few months, I’ve been out of the country.
She was true to her word. The night she left to go on tour, she called me the moment she got to her hotel room, and we talked for hours. We talked about Verona, we talked about the kiss, and we decided to keep talking. To see where this takes us. To give ourselves a chance to see if we can be together. It’s been difficult being so far apart all the time, but it’s letting us get to know each other outside of our normal roles of best friend and little sister. We’ve not told anyone, and that’s the way it needs to stay for now. Until I know if I can make this work, I don’t want to cause a fight with Carter, or between him and Vittoria.
I made the decision not to tell her that I’m a Dominant. I don’t want to bring that into her life, or make her feel like she needs to be a part of it to make me happy. It’s easy to make that choice when I’m not on the same continent as her. I’m not sure how it’s going to feel when she’s here, in my arms, and I can’t act on instinct, but I need to try. That’s why we have to take it slow.
I may not be able to have the type of relationship I want with her, but I would sacrifice the lifestyle to be with her. I just hope that I’m strong enough to do it. I would never forgive myself if I brought her into my world. No one should go into this lifestyle to please someone else. It must be a choice that you make for yourself, because it’s what you want. If I asked her to do this for me, she’d probably say yes, and she might even like it for a while, but there would come a point when she would resent me, and I couldn’t deal with that. I made the decision to be a part of this lifestyle, and for her, I can make the decision to leave it. She’s worth it.
With every day that passes, and every call, text or email we exchange, I find myself falling even harder for her, which I didn’t think was possible. Talking with her for hours, unable to act on any physical chemistry we have, my desire for her body has become secondary to my desire to really know her. Not the girl that I’ve been in love with for years, but the real, down to earth beauty inside. Her hopes and fears for the future. What she loves to do with her time off. How she feels when she dances in front of thousands every night.
Last week she made me download the Snapchat app onto my phone. If Xander and Carter ever see that, I’m never going to hear the end of it. They would ridicule me until the end of time! I find myself doing and saying things that are so unlike me when it comes to her. She’s so funny, sending me crazy selfies from every city she visits; hot as hell videos that leave me more than a little frustrated; and some of the stuff she says in emails, cracks me up.
FaceTime has become our favorite way to keep in touch. Last night Vittoria called me wearing a sexy black negligée, making out like it was nothing; talking to me about her day, with mischief clear in her eyes. I played along, but by the time we said goodnight, I was in physical pain.
This morning I’m getting ready to head to Berlin via London. I would normally relish the chance to spend a few days in a great city, but last night I found out that Vittoria is flying back to New York for the weekend, and I’m not going to be here. I would have rescheduled my trip if she’d told me sooner, but she was trying to surprise me. To say I’m disappointed would be the understatement of the year.
As I pack my bag and get ready to head to the airport, my phone beeps with a message from Vittoria.
Vittoria: I have a surprise for you.
Me: You’re going to Berlin instead of New York? ;o)
Vittoria: I wish. If I could I would, but I have to be in New York. I promised my mom I would be there for my dad’s birthday party.
Me: I know. I just can’t believe I’m going to miss seeing you.
Vittoria: I’ll send you pictures.
Me: Naked pictures?
Vittoria: Naughty boy.
Me: I’ve got to go; my cab is here to take me to the airport. Text me when you land. I need to know you’re safe.
Vittoria: Will do.
Then I remember her saying that she had a surprise for me. I fire out a text as I throw my bag into the trunk of the cab.
Me: What’s my surprise?
Vittoria: Wait and see. X
Me: Tease.
As the plane takes off, I sit back and replay every moment of our encounter in Verona; recalling every line and curve of her body and the way she fell apart at my touch. I can almost smell her seductive scent as I lose myself in the memory.
The flight didn’t seem long today. In fact, it felt like I was being dragged away from Vittoria at lightning speed. Every moment taking me further and further away from where she is.
As soon as we land, I pull out my phone to see if she’s messaged to say she landed safely in New York. By my calculations, we must have passed each other in the air around three hours into my flight. Sure enough, my phone beeps with a text, but it’s not to say she landed. All it says is Text me when you land. I type out a quick message and wait for her reply, busying myself with grabbing my bag from the overhead locker and making my way off the plane to navigate Heathrow Airport for a few hours.
My phone chimes with a Snapchat picture. It’s of Vittoria. It looks like she’s at the airport. I thought she was supposed to have landed hours ago. I quickly reply.
Me: Was your flight delayed? Why are you still at the airport?
Vittoria: You didn’t look closely at the background, did you?
Me: I was too busy looking at the gorgeous girl in the picture.
My phone chimes with another picture. I take a moment to really look at the backdrop. It can’t be… surely not. My phone beeps again.
Vittoria: Look up
I scan the crowd in front of me, my pulse racing, and then I see her. She’s here. In London. My phone goes off again and I look down, reluctant to pull my gaze from her in case she disappears.
Vittoria: Surprise
I shove my phone into my pocket and stride toward her, oblivious to anything or anyone around me. I can’t believe she’s here, a hundred yards in front of me. I close the distance between us, never taking my eyes off her, watching her sexy grin as she begins to move, almost running toward me.
I drop my bags as our bodies collide and she throws herself into my arms. I spin her around with a blatant disregard for the crowd surrounding us, trying to make their way through the airport, to wherever they’re going.
“What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in New York by now?”
“I…” She begins to answer, but I’m too impatient. I swallow her words with my mouth, my lips crashing down on hers in a fierce kiss. Her arms snake around my neck, her legs wrapped around my waist as I hold her tight, our tongues exploring each other. She tastes amazing, and her smell… it’s divine.
We’re breathless and blissful, and achingly bereft as we break our kiss; our eyes locking as I slowly set her down on the ground.
“How are you standing here with me?”
She gives me a sly grin. “I changed my flight. Instead of a two-hour wait, I now have a twelve-hour wait, but it means I get to spend two hours with you before your next flight. I figured it was worth the trade-off.”
“You’re incredible. I can’t believe you did that for me.”
“You’re worth the wait.” I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t just mean today, and it slays me. I’ve wanted her for so long, I have to pinch myself to believe that this is real, that she’s real, and she wants to be with me.
I sling my arm around her shoulder, pick up both of our bags, and pull her into my side. “Let’s make the most of our two hours then. Would you like to go for coffee with me, Miss de Rossi?”
A mischievous grin creeps across her face. “I’d love to, Mr. Fitzgerald. Lead the way. I’m yours to command.”
Fuck me! I’m hard from hearing her say those four little words, I’m yours to command. If I didn’t know better, I would worry that she knew about me. She couldn’t have picked a sexier phrase to say to me if she tried. I caress my hand down her side and give her ass a sharp, short, smack. “Be careful what you say, little one, I might just take you up on that.”
We weave our way through the crowds, the tension between us a palpable force; every nerve ending in my body alight with desire for her.
I find a quiet corner for us to sit in, set down our bags and head up to order us some drinks. An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach as I walk away from her. She’s no more than twenty feet away, but I feel the distance, and I don’t like it. I only have two hours with her. I haven’t seen her in months, and that last encounter was a brief tryst outside Xander’s apartment building. I want to be touching her every moment that we have together, even if it’s only holding her hand. Being around her makes me feel… whole. I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve never felt that around another person before. She causes a physical reaction inside of me, like she’s altering my very DNA when I’m in her presence. It’s both disconcerting and completely electrifying.
As I wait in line, I can’t take my eyes off her. The woman behind me attempts to strike up a conversation with some flirtatious innuendo, but she’s not even on my radar. I drag my gaze from Vittoria just long enough to politely decline the woman next to me, and when I find her again, she’s smiling at me, shaking her head in mock disappointment.
When I finally return with coffee and croissants, her first words are, “I can’t take you anywhere without women throwing themselves at you.” She’s mocking me, but I detect a hint of possessiveness. “How do you ever get anything done? You can’t even buy a coffee without being accosted by hot women. It must be so difficult looking like you do. A true hardship.”
I let her ramble, making herself blush with embarrassment in the process, while I set down our coffee and plates and discard the tray on the empty table beside us. I take a moment to enjoy her small show of jealousy, taking a sip of my coffee before I put her mind at rest.
“Firstly, you’re right, it’s a curse being this hot. You understand why women want me so badly, though, you’re one of them!” She leans across the table to slap me on the arm, which is totally adorable. “Secondly, it’s easy to fend them off these days, I just tell them I have a girlfriend. End of story.”
She almost chokes on her coffee, spraying it all over me. “Oh God, Logan, I’m so sorry. She immediately jumps out of her seat and starts trying to clean me up with napkins, but I’m too busy laughing to care.
“You are so cute when you’re worked up. I didn’t realize calling you my girlfriend would get such a… reaction from you. Is it really that big a shock?” Her hands stop dead on my chest, the napkin scrunched into a ball in her fist. I pull her down onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. “Don’t you want me to call you that?”
“I… I like it. I just didn’t know what we were. We’ve not really defined it, and…” She hesitates.
“And what?”
“I didn’t think you were a girlfriend kind of guy.”
“I’m not. But I’ll make an exception for you. I’m breaking all my own rules with you already, one more won’t make a difference.”
She extricates herself from my arms, smoothing her hair and adjusting her top as she sits back down across from me. She grasps her coffee in both hands, staring into its depths as if it will give her some answers before she opens her mouth to speak.
“What do you mean, you’re breaking all your own rules with me?”
Her gaze is hesitant, her demeanor wary.
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I guess I’m just doing things differently with you than I have with anyone in the past. It’s not important.”
“It is if you’re not happy. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be yourself with
me. I don’t want you to change because of me. I like you the way you are.”
I reach across and take both of her hands in mine, caressing my thumbs over her knuckles. “Vittoria, I want to change for you. I want to be better. I want to treat you the way you deserve. The guy I’ve been up until now wasn’t good enough for you, and I intend to be a man that is worthy of you… someday. Trust me when I tell you that you would not want to be with the guy I was before.” A part of me craves the opportunity to make her a part of the lifestyle. She would be an exquisite submissive; but a better part of me, the part that is winning out right now, wants to protect her from it, and never let her see that darker, hidden side of myself.
“I would want to be with you no matter what. I long to be with the man you are, the man you were; every part of you. The parts of yourself that you think aren’t worthy of me, are the parts that draw me to you, the parts that I want you to share with me.” She holds my gaze, as if she’s trying to convey some unspoken understanding to me.
I need to change the subject before I confess everything to her and watch what we have fall apart before my eyes. “You better drink your coffee before it gets cold. So, when are you going to be in New York again after this weekend? I want to make sure that I’m not on another business trip when you fly in.”
“Two weeks.” Her gaze drops; her disappointment at my change of subject, evident. “I’ll be back in two weeks and I’ll be staying for close to three weeks before I have to fly back out to Europe.”
“I get you all to myself for almost three weeks? You’ve made my year with that little tidbit of information. The things I could do to you in that time.” I wink at her, and watch as she melts, her annoyance forgotten, excitement at the prospect of our time together taking over.
“Promises, promises.”
“I always keep my promises, Vittoria.”
“Well then, I look forward to it.”
We fall into an easy conversation, flirting and chatting, and enjoying each other’s company while we can. Our legs tangle together under the table, maintaining some sort of physical contact until the announcement for my flight to board comes over the PA system. I’m devastated that our two hours are gone already, a pain taking up residence in my chest as Vittoria disentangles her legs and stands from the table.
