by Ava Alise
Table of Contents
Copyright
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Epilogue
Love, Ava
Acknowledgments
Copyright 2017 © Ava Alise
All rights reserved. Except as permitted by U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author.
The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Dirty Flirting is intended for 18+ older, and for mature audiences only.
Formatting by Masque of the Red Pen
Cover Design by Raglan’s Designs
Drex
You ever have that moment where you watch the shit around you go from bad to worse? I don’t mean the “I’m running late and just spilled coffee on my shirt” type of bad. I mean nuclear bad, where you find yourself in a horrible trance as everything starts moving in slow motion. The type of moment when it doesn’t seem like there is anything you can do or say to make the situation better and there is no way things will be able to turn around.
That’s me right now. Staring slack jawed as I watch the terror rise in Kelsa’s eyes. You see, she just realized that I'm connected to the worst possible thing that has ever happened to her. And me? I just found out that not only did the girl I very well may be falling for date my lifelong friend for over six months, but also my entire family hates her—especially the girl who’s staring at us now. She really hates her. In her eyes, there isn’t a more heartless, selfish, mean-spirited woman on the planet. Even though we all know that it was William who pulled the trigger that night, Kelsa may as well have loaded the gun and put it in his hand.
Kelsa’s eyes are full of horror as she looks from me to Tara.
“What in the hell is she doing here?” Tara spits. She’s talking to me, but her eyes are still burning as she shoots daggers in Kesla’s direction.
“Tara?” Kelsa says, standing from her seat. “How do you know each other?” she asks, turning to me.
“She’s…” I start, but Tara yells over me.
“Why in the fuck is she here, Drex?” Tara asks.
My eyes shift from Tara’s glare to the hand she has placed on her pregnant belly. She’s barely showing but it’s definitely there.
The question in Kelsa’s eyes is obvious, but she doesn’t speak as her eyes move from Tara to my shocked expression. I can’t believe this is happening. I didn’t think Tara was going to come back, after the bomb she dropped on me earlier, and the way she left… I really thought we were done talking, at least for now.
“She’s here with me.” I say, giving the most obvious answer. I need a fucking minute.
“Out of all the dirty, evil little cunts in New York you decide that—”
“Tara, stop!” I say, cutting her off. “Don’t.”
“No.” Kesla says, rushing past Tara. “Let her continue, but I’m not sticking around to listen to her bullshit.” Kelsa snatches her coat off the rack and sticks her phone into her purse preparing to leave my apartment.
“Bullshit? You know what you did to him,” Tara booms.
Kelsa doesn’t respond. She only shakes her head as she slides into her coat.
“Kels, baby… don’t leave,” I say, walking toward her.
“Baby?” Tara scoffs. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”
“Tara, enough! We will talk about this later.”
“No,” Kelsa says with tears in her eyes. “I can’t… I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I still have no idea what to say. All I know is I’m not letting her walk out of that door. I know exactly how she must be feeling because my family, well mainly Tara, did everything in their power to blame William’s girlfriend for what happened that night.
I make it to the door in a few quick strides, stopping Kelsa as she’s about to close it behind her. “Kels. Don’t you think we should at least talk about all of this?”
She turns to me and her mouth falls open, but before she can speak, Tara’s voice comes floating into the hall.
“You should just let the bitch leave before she ruins more lives.”
This causes Kelsa’s resolve to break. Her jaw ticks and, in a blink, she pushes past me and walks back into the apartment.
“I told you! I tried to help William. I begged him to go to the hospital, to stop drinking, he wouldn’t listen to me,” she yells.
“Is that why you wouldn’t talk to him? Why I had to keep picking him up from jail?” She scoffs. “He was grieving! We all were!”
“I begged… pleaded with him to get help,” Kelsa says as tears roll from her eyes.
“Yeah, sure. What type of woman dumps a guy when he’s at his lowest point, buried deep in depression? He had lost everything. You were all he had left. Who does that?” Tara says.
“Oh, and where in the hell were you, Tara? Where were you when William was too drunk to stand? When I’d find him passed out in the hall covered in piss and vomit because he was too drunk to unlock the door?” Kelsa huffs and quickly brushes the hair that has fallen toward her face behind her ears. “How did you help him, Tara?” she yells, as her tears flow endlessly and spit flies from her mouth.
“Bullshit!” Tara yells. “No! You are not going to place the blame on me. This is on you, and you know why!”
Kelsa’s mouth opens, but no words come out. Instead, she stares wordlessly at Tara and it looks as if she’s going to shatter into pieces.
I step between the girls and wrap my arms around Kelsa, pulling her to my chest.
“Listen, you two,” I start, but Tara’s paled expression immediately changes and she looks at me like I slapped her. “We all need to calm down and…”
“No. Screw that!” Tara interjects. “I only came back to give you this,” she says, pulling a folded piece of paper from her pocket and shoving it toward me. I take the paper from her hand and she turns and stalks toward the door. “Call me when you start making some fucking sense,” she says, and slams the door behind her.
Kelsa’s tears soak through my shirt as she sobs, fighting to catch her breath. “I tried, Drex, I really tried,” she says.
“I know,” I say, kissing her forehead. Suddenly, she stills and pulls away from me.
Her hazel eyes are bloodshot and that terror-ridden expression is back. “Drex. How do you know her?”
I move away from her, running my hand over my head. How in the fuck am I going to tell her this?
“She’s… I’ve known her all of my life.”
“How?” she says.
“Our mothers have been best friends since they were kids. I grew up with Tara and Liam,” I say.
Her eyes are wide with disbelief as she places a hand on her forehead and takes a seat on the couch. “Liam?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say
as I exhale a deep breath and sit next to her. “We’ve always called William by his nickname, Liam. That’s why I didn’t put the pieces together until you said his last name.”
She takes a deep breath, but stays quiet, seemingly mulling over my words. I’m trying not to fucking lose it. This is not going to go over well with my family, but there is no way in hell I’m walking away from her. All this time we’ve had it wrong. William really needed help and found a way to hide it from everyone… everyone but her.
“So you knew about me and William? You had to,” she says.
“No… well, I knew what happened, of course. And about you, but I didn’t know who you were. After Liam’s dad died, we all knew he was grieving, but he always found a way to pull it together around us. It never seemed like he was depressed, or even drinking. Just sad… missing his father like we all were.”
“So that’s why Tara is convinced I drove him to it,” she says.
“Yes. From the outside, it looked like he was kicked while he was already down, and you were the straw that broke him,” I say. Kelsa’s eyes shift from mine and it looks like she’s trying to stop herself from crying again. “But everyone was blinded by grief. No one stopped to think about what you went through. I’m sorry for that.”
“Oh,” she says, quietly biting her lip.
“Tara harassed me for months,” she says, blowing out a shaky breath. “She forced me to leave the hospital that night only to leave me threatening emails and nasty voicemails. She hates me, all of you do.”
“You know I don’t hate you.”
“But everyone you love does. I know how close your family is, Drex.”
She’s right. We are close. I can not remember a time in my life when my mother didn’t have her best friend right beside her. My grandmother used to call them “double take” when they were kids and she still does to this day. Even though we aren’t technically related, I always considered to Liam and Tara’s mother to be like an aunt. With all the loss we've had to endure, first my brother Drew, then Mr. Benton, and finally Liam, our already tight-knit family became even tighter.
“Well, they are wrong.” I say. Her eyes fall to the floor. “I meant what I said earlier, Kels. I’m crazy about you and I’m not worried about this mess with my family.”
Kelsa’s quiet, too quiet, and it takes me a moment to realize how far she has inched away. Words get caught in my throat as I try to speak again. I want to smooth it over, find a way to make her feel comfortable, but the look in her eyes tell me her thoughts are far away.
“It was a nightmare,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around her body. I know it was and it’s making my heart feel heavy. During the time I’ve gotten to know Kelsa, it doesn’t seem like much could rock her. She has always been so confident, solid. Even when everyone in the office was worried about the merger, she always seemed steady. But this… this has her shaken. She’s terrified, and for a moment, I wonder if I’m doing more harm than good for wanting to be with her, asking her to face the one thing that will shift her foundation. Especially considering everything else I need to tell her. I look down at the piece of paper Tara gave me before she stormed out, still fisted in my hand. I slide it into my shirt pocket.
We sit in silence for a while. Longer than I realize. My mind is racing when she speaks again. It sounds extremely loud in the quiet space.
“I worked so hard to put it all past me. But this…” her gaze moves to mine. “This is… a lot.”
“Yeah.” I exhale a shaky breath. “You should sleep here tonight. It's getting late,” I say, knowing it's total bullshit. It's really not that late, but for some reason, I’m afraid that if she leaves, it will mark the end. I'm not ready for this to end, but I totally understand her hesitation to commit. Damn, what she and Liam went through would be enough to make anyone think twice before jumping into a relationship. Asking her to be with me would be like asking her to rip open a wound.
I don't know, am I being selfish?
Her eyes are glued to the floor and I stifle a groan as I run a hand down my face as a small crinkling sound reaches my ears.
My stomach immediately drops and I feel like the paper is burning a hole in my pocket. Maybe I am being selfish. Dealing with our jobs being on the line is bad enough, but now this. Plus, if this paper says what I think it does, everything will be that much harder for us.
“No. I… think I need time,” she says, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Ok.”
“Plus, I don't want the first night we spend together to be like… this,” she says. “Not including Miami, of course.”
I nod slightly as a brief wave of relief floods through me. I was beginning to think she wanted to get as far away from me as possible. The fact that she's still open to the possibility of us gives me hope, at least for now.
She lingers for a beat before she stands and grabs her purse and we head for the door. The air shifts between us, leaving a heaviness in its wake as we walk silently toward my car. The December air is frigid and I have to stop myself from wrapping my arm over her shoulder.
How in the fuck am I going to tell my family about Kelsa? Will they ever accept her? If they don't, will it be something she's willing to live with? Am I?
Kelsa stays quiet. She absentmindedly fingers her hair as we drive through the dark roads toward her apartment. Every time I open my mouth to speak, I choke on my words. I have no idea what to say and she barely makes eye contact with me during the trip. How did things go south so quickly?
What seems like an eternity of silence passes by and eventually I pull up to her building. She sighs and brings those hazels to meet my eyes for the first time since we left my apartment. My heart hollows.
“I hope you're not mad I didn't want to stay over,” she says, uncertainty dripping from her words.
“No.” I blow out a breath. “We probably need a minute to digest all of this.”
“Yeah,” she says softly, dropping her gaze again. I hate seeing her so shaken and feeling like there is nothing I can do about it.
We fall into another awkward silence as my car hums quietly. Her gaze slides from the door of her building down to her fingers. She's hesitating, we both are. There is so much to say but no way to start. The small folded paper is searing a hole through my pocket as I watch Kelsa reach for the door handle.
“What a night,” she says, forcing a smile.
“Yeah.” I smirk.
I hate to see her leave like this, but the only way to know if we have a chance is to find out what we are dealing with.
“I'll call you, ok?” she says.
“Have a good night, baby,” I tell her, and she walks away.
I watch as she disappears through the door of her building, and the moment she's out of sight, I snatch the paper from my pocket.
Ok, it was one time. One stupid fucking drunken mistake.
Slowly, I unfold the small square revealing an ultrasound. At first it all looks like a bunch of weird shadows and circles, until my eyes fall on the only thing that matters. The only thing that may make or break any chance I have with the girl I'm so wrapped up in I can barely think straight. The only thing that will change my life and the entire dynamic of my family.
One thing.
Estimated date of conception.
Kelsa
I’m more than halfway to my apartment before I realize I don’t have my purse with me. Turning on my heels, I walk quickly back toward his car, praying he didn't already drive away. My hands slide into my pockets in search of my phone, but it too is missing.
Oh God, please don’t tell me I left it at his house.
My stomach hollows, not because of the phone, but because facing him again will mean… well, facing him again. Every time I look at his face, visions of William run through my mind so fast it becomes hard to see through it. I can’t think… I can’t breathe. I know Drex is Drex and William is William. I know what I feel for Drex doesn’t come close to what I felt for William
in the short time I was with him. One touch, hell, one look from Drex and all feels right with the world… usually. That’s why it was so easy take a chance with him. No way in hell would I have ever dated a co-worker, especially with it putting my job on the line. But with Drex, it’s different. Everything is different. I didn’t think there was anything we couldn’t fight through, and now, barely being able to look at him is killing me.
Maybe a little time will fix things.
When I make it to Drex's car, he's staring down into his lap but straightens somewhat as he sees me approach. My heart drums in my chest and I watch as the car window slides down. Drex clears his throat, brings his eyes to mine, and I try to fall into his gaze as I have so many times before, but I'm met with frustration and something that feels a lot like fear. I look down to my purse as I stand at the passenger side door. Drex stares at me oddly and unmoving, then just as quickly shakes it off and unlocks the door.
“I’m sorry, my head is just…” he trails off and his eyes drop down to the paper on his lap, right before he folds it back into his pocket.
“It's ok,” I say. “I just forgot my purse and I'm praying my phone is in it.”
I can feel his gaze on me, but I don't look up as I search my bag. Relief floods through me the instant my fingers glide across the cool glass panel of the fingerprint scanner triggering the phone screen to light up. I exhale and allow my gaze to find Drex’s. He's still staring at me oddly.
“Are you ok?” I ask, standing from the car.
“Yes.” He clears his throat again. “I'm fine.”
I nod as a heaviness pulls at my chest.
My heart still rings for the guy. The problem is, everything feels overwhelming. Our relationship being brought to light at work, deciding whether to follow my heart and allow myself to fall in love with him, or to run in the opposite direction, it’s all too much. And now the idea of dealing with the mess of my past feels suffocating. I hesitate at the car door before I shut it… before I walk away from him.
"I'll see you at the wedding," he says, trying his best to sound normal, as if everything isn't crumbling around us.
"Sure," I say, sticking my head inside for a quick kiss, which ends up being just as awkward. Drex offers a small smile and I turn to walk back to my building. I had almost forgotten about Mila's wedding. But with all the crazy shit that has taken place today, I'm surprised I still remember my name. The tears that I've been fighting begin to well up in my eyes the closer I get to my front door. This is all getting too complicated and I don't know if I can do it. Doing this with him means everything will be re-lived… examined. His family will have questions about what happened the night William shot himself, questions that will force me to bring up thoughts and feelings I fought to put behind me. Worst of all, I'll have to deal with Tara, and I just… can't.
