by Ava Alise
Ok, he totally knows.
“I really want to take you out of here,” I say.
“Mmmm,” she hums.
“And I think Ronald is starting to notice just how badly.”
The smile falls from her face. “Shit. Is he watching us?”
“Yeah.” I laugh. “Maybe we should go back to the table.”
Not long after we sit, Ron and Amber return, and about ten minutes later Vicky approaches us again.
“This is complements of Mr. Delon,” she says, holding a bottle of, from what I can tell, is a very expensive wine.
“Well, thank you.” Amber smiles.
Vicky's gaze lingers on me yet again and my eyes stray to Kelsa, who is fiddling with her napkin.
“You sir, are a very handsome man,” she says. I'm floored. I mean I appreciate a women who knows what she wants, but I'm surprised at her boldness, especially in front on the entire group. “Will you be here long?”
I clear my throat. “Thank you, and no, I'll be leaving in the morning.” I watch as Kelsa fidgets uncomfortably, watching this woman hit on me. I'm trying not to be rude but she should have already gotten the hint last time.
“Too bad. Are you married?”
“No,” I say, unable to take my eyes from Kelsa.
“Then you're available.” I can hear her smile as she says it, but the only thing I'm focused on is the fact that this woman has my girl feeling awkward. Kelsa turns away and begins watching the crowd.
“No,” I say stepping away from Vicky.
“What?”
“Aye, Ron. We'll sign whatever papers you want the moment we land in New York,” I say just as Kelsa turns to face me.
“What do you mean?” Vicky says.
“I'm in love,” I say, and I pull Kelsa to me and kiss her hard right there in front of everyone.
Kelsa
Four months later
“Don't tell me. You're moving in with him?” Mila says in mocking exaggeration. We are at our usual lunch spot, the diner across the street from EDG, but due to vacations and heavy workloads it's just the two of us.
“No. Crazy.”
“Well, can't be too sure with you two.” She grins. “I still can't believe how everything went down. I was only gone for two weeks!”
By the time Mila got back from her honeymoon, she had a lot to get caught up on, needless to say. She missed everything. Drex and I sneaking around, getting caught by Tanner, not to mention everything that happened in Paris.
“I know.” I blush. “I still can't believe it myself. He's been so perfect, Mila.” My blush turns into a full on smile.
“So, what's the big news then?”
“Not news, it just…Drex wants me to come to his family’s house for dinner and I don't know if I can do it yet. You know… everything with William.”
“Oh,” she says. Mila knows all about the William situation and has since almost the very beginning.
“He says his parents are supportive of our relationship and excited to meet me. It's just Tara and her mother I’m worrying about.”
“What is the mother saying?”
“That's the problem, she isn't saying anything. Tara, of course, explodes every time he mentions me but he's convinced if he can get us all together to talk about what happened, then we can find some type of healing.” I huff.
“He might be right, Kels. Maybe since Tara doesn't think you cared about William, when she hears how deeply affected you were by that night, she will see that there is no way you would have tried to provoke him intentionally.”
“Maybe… but then there's the baby. If it's his and things don't go over well I won't be able to avoid her for long,” I say, sliding my palms over my face and into my hair.
“It will be fine, girl. It went well with Drex, right? He loves you and I'm sure they will too.”
“Yeah. And Tara?”
“Well, that bitch doesn't count.” She laughs.
I don't laugh with her and when she notices, she sighs. “Drex has the Tara thing under control. When she heals and sees you aren't going anywhere, things will change. You just worry about loving all that man you got,” she says. “Speaking of…” I follow her eyes and watch Drex entering the diner. He smiles at a small group of our co-workers sitting by the door before his eyes fall on me. “All of that man,” Mila repeats.
The gloom I was feeling moments ago vanishes when I see him. I can't believe I spent so much time running from this feeling, this love that I tried so hard to ignore.
“Hey, ladies.” He says it to both of us, though his eyes never leave mine. Mila responds but he's already in the booth and kissing me. I feel so at home with him, and even though we are basically making out in a crowded restaurant, I almost don't care. It's so freeing knowing that we don't have to hide anymore, pretend anymore. My hands slide up his neck and I slow our hypnotic kiss realizing that… yeah, we're turning into that couple.
“Hey gorgeous,” he says against my lips. I pull away and smile.
“What are you doing here? I thought you weren't getting back until tomorrow.”
“Ron and I finished up early,” he says. “How you doing, Mila?”
“I'm great, Drex,” she says, smiling at us. “You two are so damn cute. We should double sometime, the two of you, me and Rick.”
“Ohh that could be fun,” I say.
“Definitely,” Drex says.
“Haha good. Well I'm going to go.” She slides out of her side of the booth. “Let you two maul each other in peace.”
“You have no idea,” he says, smiling at me as I’m getting lost in his emerald eyes.
“Oh I think I do.” She laughs.
“Actually, I gotta run too.” He groans. “There’re some last minute things I have to follow up with Ron about. I'll call you tonight.” He gives me a quick kiss as he stands. “I'm already late meeting him, but I knew you'd be here and I couldn't just walk in the office without stopping in.”
“Aw. Did you miss me?” I tease.
“When don't I? If you're not under me or on top of me you pretty much bet your life that I'm missing you.”
“Ha. Perv.” I laugh.
He bends down again, leaving me with another kiss to ache over. “We still on for tomorrow night?”
My gaze immediately falls to the table.
Shit.
“I don't know.” I huff. A brief shot of concern passes over his face, but just as quickly he blinks it away and nods.
“I promise, tomorrow is going to be great. Just another hurdle to put behind us, another stack.”
Holding his gaze I think about all the times he's mentioned the stacks, all the times he's been right. I know it's time to trust, to believe in us, and to stop letting the fear of this stop me.
“Ok.” I nod “I love you. I'll call you tonight.”
The train ride home is the same as any other except I spend the entire time trying to figure out how I'm going to get through this dinner. I'm over the idea that Tara not accepting me will cause stress in my relationship with Drex. If anything, what bothers me about her is the added weight she brings to the situation. I've never been in love before now, and I'll admit, I was totally wrong about it before. The idea of being so vulnerable to someone used to terrify me, but living it… actually being in love, is nothing like I thought.
But Tara has brought nothing but dread and negativity. She may be the mother of his first child, which is not her fault alone, but she's making it difficult to accept.
She's also the main reason why “meeting the family,” an already pretty stressful event, is coupled with so much intensity. I don't fault her for her feelings against me. I can't imagine what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot and Cam was on the other side of that bullet. Would I be able to forgive her? And if I did, would I ever be able to coexist with her? I don't know. But hopefully Mila and Drex are right. Tara and I have been screaming at each other since the moment she walked in the apartment and saw wha
t William had done that night. We haven't had a moment to breathe through it. I try to breathe now, allowing myself to focus on the small vibrations of the train moving over the tracks and the echoing sound of it barreling through the tunnels. By the time the train reaches my station I'm feeling a little lighter, a little more at peace. I'm in this thing with Drex no matter what it takes. I won't let him go again and if that means having to find a way to fix this with Tara then I will do my best. The train station is bustling with people. I step onto the concrete platform carrying my bag and pulling my jacket tighter. Spring is on the way and along with that, Tara's baby. Honestly, if Drex is the father or not, it won't change my feelings for him. If it's his, then that means the baby is a part of him, and I will love it just as I love him. Life would be a hell of a lot easier if it wasn't his of course, but what can you do, right? Either way, I’m almost equally as excited as I am dreading the birth of this child and finally getting our answer.
I make the short walk to my front door. The crazy thing about all this is I'm pretty damn happy. If someone would have told me last year that not only would I be dating Drex, that we'd be utterly in love, I would have laughed. Not only because the idea of love had me all but jumping out of my skin, but the fact that it was Drex. Though my crush on him was massive, I never expected it to move past hot flirting and dirty thoughts. Sex with him I could imagine back then, but not a relationship. I'm so deep in thought that I totally miss the door when I go to unlock it, dropping the key. As I'm reaching to retrieve it, the sound of breaking glass cuts through the air. I hurriedly open the door and walk into the apartment.
“Hello?” I say, moving inside.
I find Cam and Renee in the kitchen looking at me with wild expressions.
“Kelsa.” Renee says, sliding from the counter. Her eyes are bright and clear, but her face is a bit flushed.
“Is everything ok?”
Cam is standing close to her leaning over the counter.
“Yes.” He clears his throat. “Just a couple plates Renee knocked from the counter.” My eyes move from the small pile of shattered plates about three feet from the counter back to Renee's flushed face.
“What did you do? Throw them?” I laugh. “How'd they get so far away?” A look passes between the two of them right before they both move to retrieve the broken ceramics shards.
“Uhh…” Renee laughs nervously. “You know me. Big klutz.” My gaze passes curiously back and forth between the two of them, Renee is acting super weird.
Cam on the other hand, seems fine. Well, maybe a little fidgety, but it makes me wonder what they were just talking about.
“So. I'm going to go,” he says, exhaling a whoosh of breath as he scoops up the remaining shards. “I have a late night shoot with an Army wife. Her husband is coming home next month after being deployed for a year.”
“Aww, that's sweet. She's going to surprise him with pics?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says grabbing his coat. “These shoots are some of my favorites.”
“Why's that?”
“It's a different mood. Instead of shooting to sell a product, or for a couple who wants photos for their spank bank, these shoots are deeper. Loving.”
“Awwwww!” I squeal. “So you do have a sweet side!” I mock kissy faces at my brother at which he swiftly flips me the bird.
“Haha. I'll see y'all later,” he says, his eyes drifting from me to Renee, who has her back turned. He hesitates there for a moment and then walks out the door.
“Yes, so I think I'm going to go to bed, I've got an early day tomorrow.”
“Wait,” I say. “What is with you two running out of here? Did I miss something?”
“No.” She chuckles. “What do you mean?
“I don't know, you're acting weird, he's dashing away. Were you guys arguing?”
“No.” Her eyes drop to the floor briefly.
“Well,” I huff. “I miss you. I've been super busy at work and we've been missing each other completely. What's going on, how are things?”
She fills me in on all things fashion, with her bitch for a boss and crazy workload.
“The only good thing about it is I've been meeting a lot of influential people in the industry. My work has caught the eye of more than a few designers.” She smiles.
“That's so awesome!”
“Yeah one guy in particular, Mr. Phenergan, has sent me a few emails about being his premier designer for his debut label.”
“Holy shit, really?”
“Yeah but it's risky because he's brand new. I could be walking away from a shitty job at a huge label to a wonderful job at an unknown one. I don't know, I'm still thinking about it.”
“Yeah, that sounds tough.”
She nods.
“So what's the update on the guy you were dating?”
“Oh, Mitchell?” She huffs. “Ugh I don't know. We went on a few more dates.” She shrugs. “I like him a lot but something's just… missing.”
“What do you mean?”
“He so bland, so predictable, so…” She moves her hands around as if she's trying to snatch the words out if the air. “So…”
“Boring?” I say.
She drops her arms in exasperation and sighs. “Yeah… Maybe.”
“What are you going to do? Stop seeing him?”
“I don't know. We aren't exactly together, we just hang out sometimes, but I don't want him to think I am leading him on.”
I nod.
“He just feels… done. Like another Ben from high school, another Josh from college, another Tom.”
“Well, you do have your type.” I laugh. “Maybe it's time to try something new. A different type of guy.”
She shrugs and looks away.
“What's the update with you?”
We spend another half hour snacking on pretzels while I fill her in on all things EDG and Drex.
“It’s been amazing. After we closed the deal with Henry, Headly's bumped up their budget and decided to go after four more big hitters. We have already closed on two of them.”
“I'm so proud of you, babe. And you can handle this Tara thing, I know you can,” she says.
“Thanks.” I smile. “You're right.”
Maybe Renee's optimism is rubbing off on me, or maybe it's something else, but when I head to my room for the night, I really believe it will all be ok.
Going with my gut, I call Drex and tell him I'm game to meet everyone tomorrow.
“You sure?” he says.
“Yes. I'm going to stop over-thinking it. I love you and you were right. We're worth it.”
“We are. And I love you too.”
“I have a few things to do after work, but I'll call you to let you know when I'm ready.”
“Ok.”
“Goodnight.”
My sleep that night was peaceful, but that's because I had no idea that the next day would be one I'd never forget.
The cool spring air cuts through my clothes as I run down the tunnel stairs twenty minutes later than usual. I know I missed my train, but I feel like the faster I can get to the platform the sooner I can will the next train to come a bit earlier. All the usual people are gone, of course, but I'm surprised to see Ms. Teller sitting on the bench.
“Hey there. You're here kind of late,” I say.
“Oh, hello Kelsa.” She smiles. “How are you?”
“Eh.” I grimace flopping down next to her. “Did you miss your train too?”
“Yeah, and I was sitting right here the whole time.” She chuckles. “I guess I just didn't notice.”
I can't stop the crease from appearing in my brow. It's hard to believe anyone can miss a huge train pulling up to the platform, especially when you're sitting right in front of the tracks.
“Oh,” I say, looking at her curiously. She goes into a story about her morning. How she originally forgot her wallet and had to go back home after leaving. How even after she had her wallet, when she went to make a purchase, she
didn't have her debit card. And now she's headed to the local senior center.
“I’ve been a little off today, but nothing a few games of bingo can't fix,” she says.
We talk a little longer and I notice how she keeps fidgeting. And when she stands to throw a wad of tissue in the nearby trashcan she seems a bit wobbly.
“I’m ok,” she says as I move to aid her back to the bench. She's really starting to worry me. Something is clearly wrong and mentally she seems a bit spaced out.
“Are you sure?”
“Oh yeah, I'm fine… how are things at work?” she says, wiping her reddening face.
“Ms. Teller, you don't too look good,” I say as my pulse begins to pick up. “Do you have any health conditions?”
My thoughts race as I try hard to pull up any memory of her mentioning medications. Blood pressure? Allergies? Has she ever said anything about her sugar dropping?
My heart sinks as I come up empty. I feel horrible. We’ve spent hours talking over the years and she knows so much about me, but I know nothing about her.
“No, not…” she starts as an odd expression comes over her face. It's almost twisted.
“Ms. Teller?”
She locks eyes with mine and her lips move as if she's speaking, but no sound is coming out. My heart pounds at hyper-speed as I jump to my feet in front of her.
“Urppp,” she mumbles as one side of her face become visually distorted and sagging.
“Oh my God! Someone help, please!” My voice echoes through the tunnel grabbing the attention of the security guard posted near the fare booth. I watch as he turns toward us, but when I look back to Ms. Teller, she is collapsing to the floor.
Drex
“Yup. I’m just pulling in now,” I say. A high-pitched squeak sounds from my wet breaks as I slow to a stop in front of my parents’ house. I was twenty minutes out of the city when it dawned on me that I forgot to cancel Tuesday drink night with Kevin. I’ve been so preoccupied with this dinner with Kelsa that I just now remembered to call.
“How do you think it will go?” Kevin says. The slight hum from my car quiets as I turn off the ignition, which consequently removes my phone’s Bluetooth connection from my car speaker.
