Sacred Hart
Page 21
Maybe I just needed the practice, or maybe I’d become too fucking domesticated. Either way, the sound of grease popping, the smell of the fritters baking and having my hands calloused up again, this was where I belonged. The past few months with Maggie and Beth had been just what I needed. But I wanted to provide for my family, and as I watched Maggie’s belly grow, the more anxious I got about getting back to work. It was time to come back, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t ready to get the hell out of here the minute it hit five o’clock.
Today I was chomping at the bit to leave even more than usual. Collin was supposed to get here early, so I could meet Maggie at the doctor for her ultrasound. It was getting close to four, and as I plated up the order, I couldn’t have wiped the grin off my face if I tried. The life I was leading wasn’t anything I’d ever hoped to have accomplished. I’d had nothing left to lose, and I’d given myself over to it, to her… to them, and I couldn’t be more at peace. I looked down at the wedding ring on my left finger. I’d purchased two silver bands a few weeks after we’d gotten married and had them inscribed with “just like the sky” on the inside. I liked that it was an odd thing to have on a wedding ring, but it meant the world to Maggie and me. The bands were simple, but that’s how we were, how we loved. It was easy, it was… us.
The order was done and sitting in the window under the warmer just as Collin came through the kitchen door.
“Sorry, sorry, I would have gotten here sooner, but I was helping Tate fix Laurie’s car.” He walked to the sink and started to wash his hands. “I think he’s really serious about her. She’s practically living at his place now.” He shook his head.
“You don’t like her?” I asked as I stretched plastic wrap over the dough for the apple pastries and placed it in the fridge. They would have to wait till tomorrow.
He ran his hands through a few paper towels and turned to face me. “No, I do, but I was hoping to move in with him when I turned eighteen.” The oven timer rang and, as I turned to open it, Collin stopped me. “I can get these. Just let them cool, right?”
“You need to let them cool on the wire racks I set up.”
“Go see Mags. I hope you guys have a boy. Tate told me that Maggie said if it’s a boy you’re going to let his middle name be Tate.” His smile was full as he moved past me and opened the oven. The hot pans shook in his hand, and it made me nervous.
“That’s the plan. I want to honor your brother. He saved my life. You know, Tate could be a girl’s middle name, too.”
Collin frowned, and it made me laugh.
After everything had settled down, Tate had come over to our place to check on me. He was a solid guy, and I was more than grateful to him. He’d said I didn’t need to thank him, but I was glad he knew how important it was for me to say it. His hands brought me back to my family, and there was no arguing that priceless gift. He made a joke about naming our baby after him, so we sort of ran with it.
“I’ve got the chicken noodle soup cooking on the stove, it’s the soup of the day, and I’m thinking the Conner’s are coming in tonight so it might get busy. You sure you have this?” I asked as I removed my apron and hung it on the wall by the sink.
He narrowed his eyes. “I survived when you were gone, and I’ll survive now.”
My lips twitched as I watched him fumble with the apple fritters trying to fit them on the wire racks. “See you tomorrow then.”
He waved over his shoulder as I passed him. Lou was refilling ketchup bottles as I walked through the kitchen door. “Tell Tony I’ll call him later with the results.”
“I will. And me, don’t forget about me.” She wagged her finger at me, and my smile widened.
“I’ll have Maggie send out a text.”
“Okay, but one of these days you’ll need to get a cell phone.” She laughed as I shook my head.
“We’ll see. I’m either here or home. I’m easy to track down.” I opened the diner’s front door. “See you in the morning, Lou.”
I wanted to wash up before I headed to the appointment, so I made my way back to my old apartment. It dawned on me then that maybe Collin could stay here now. I’d moved in with Maggie after I’d left the hospital, and the place was basically vacant. I liked being able to use it for days like this, but this could be a place for Collin, and Tony could actually get some rent this time. I’d have to remember to mention it to Tony.
After a quick shower and change of clothes, I grabbed my bag and headed to the truck. It was warm and dry outside today so, as I drove to the doctor’s office, I rolled the windows down and enjoyed the clean air. I turned up my stereo and just let the music sink in. I let the spring air cleanse my head as it whipped through the truck. My heart beat steady and fast in my chest the closer I got to the doctor’s. I couldn’t wait to see my baby, even if it was just on a computer screen.
It took about thirty minutes to drive to the offices, and when I finally walked in, I was ten minutes late. Maggie wasn’t in the waiting room, and I started to panic. Had I missed it?
“Mr. Hartford?” A young brunette with too much make-up on smiled at me from behind the desk.
“Yes.” I ran my hand through my hair in an effort to calm down.
“She’s expecting you. They haven’t started yet, don’t worry.” Her eyes met mine as she stood. She lifted her hand to the side of her mouth as if she was going to tell me a secret and whispered, “It happens all the time. Right this way.” She pointed with the same hand to a door.
I walked through the door and followed the girl past several rooms. The office was older and paneled with dark wood. Large cork boards filled with baby photos lined the walls. “Just in here,” she said as she knocked on the door. “Mr. Hartford made it.”
The lights were off, and Maggie was lying down on the table with her belly exposed. I thanked the girl, and she shut the door behind me. Maggie’s eyes glittered once our eyes met. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
“It’s okay. We were just about to get started. Have a seat, Mr. Hartford.” The doctor was on Maggie’s right side, and she held a bottle of blue gel in her hand.
“It’s Ryan.” My smile was just for Maggie as I took my seat. I pulled it closer to the exam table and brought my lips to her cheek. “I’m so sorry I was late.” I brushed the hair off of her forehead.
“I didn’t want you to miss anything.” Maggie’s voice was thick as she strained to speak.
She was so emotional lately, and at times, it was hard to watch. I never wanted her to ever be anything less than happy, but Maggie had said that wasn’t realistic. There would be times we’d fight, times she’d cry, and there was nothing I could do. Her hormones were all over the place, but I’d ride them out with her any day.
“I’m here.” I kissed her cheek again, and she blew out an anxious breath.
I took her hand in mine as the doctor squirted the gel on her belly. She moved the ultrasound wand over Maggie’s skin smoothly. “Watch the screen, and I’ll tell you what you’re looking at.”
There was a large monitor hung in the corner of the room. The doctor lifted the wand and put another glob of gel on Maggie’s stomach. When the plastic hit her skin this time, a fast whoosh, whoosh, whoosh echoed in the room. It was the first time I’d heard the heartbeat. I’d missed her original ultrasound because I was still recovering, but this, this fluttered perfection, it hit me, and I couldn’t reign it in. Maggie’s fingers tightened in mine as our watery eyes met. We’d made a life.
“That’s our baby,” she whispered so softly I almost didn’t hear her, but I knew exactly what she said.
“It is,” I whispered back, my smile filled with pride.
“The heart looks good, everything looks normal, blood flow looks great.” Dr. Becks pressed a button on the machine, and it lit the screen in color as the baby’s heart pumped out quick beats. She pressed the button again and the color disappeared.
She explained each organ, measured them, and I could actually see the baby move. I saw t
en fingers and ten toes, and when the doctor pressed deeply into Maggie’s belly, the baby would jump. I was in awe and full of wonder as I watched the life inside my wife move.
“So, what do you think… boy or girl?” The doctor raised her eyebrows, and her lips pulled into a grin.
“Boy,” Maggie guessed. She’d been betting on a boy for a while now.
“I don’t care as long as he or she is healthy,” I said as my eyes trained on the screen trying to decipher something in all the black and white fuzz.
“Well, Maggie… it looks like you have some pretty good mommy instincts. You’re going to have a little boy. Congratulations.” The doctor lifted the ultrasound off Maggie’s belly and wiped the gel from her skin and then the instrument.
“I was right.” Maggie giggled as she sat up and pulled her shirt down.
A son. I was speechless. The life we’d created became a reality as it all sunk in. Ten fingers, ten toes, four limbs, and a powerful heart. A boy, my boy. I stood, not giving a shit that another person was in the room, and took my wife’s face between the palms of my hands. My lips fell to hers once, twice, and the apple taste of her filled my heart with warmth as I kissed her deep and without shame. Our mouths parted, and I leaned my forehead against Maggie’s. My eyes were shut tight, and my jaw clenched as I fought back the flood that was brewing.
“Can we name him Ryan?” Maggie’s soft tone filled my veins with nothing but pure pride as I pulled back and let my eyes fall to hers.
“I’ll give you two a few minutes. Meet me in my office.” Dr. Becks nodded her head with a smile at the both of us as she left the room.
“I’d like that,” I said as I pushed a golden wave behind her ear.
“Ryan Tate Hartford.” She smiled.
My heart beat jumped as I heard the name spoken in the most beautiful voice I’d ever heard. Maggie’s cheeks were roses, and her chest moved in marked breaths as she watched me give way to my own tears.
My hands fell to her stomach. “Thank you.”
She smirked and shook her head as her brows furrowed. “For what?”
“For giving me Beth and for taking care of this little guy.” I chuckled as our eyes fell to her belly.
“I hope he looks like you.” The words were filled with excitement.
“I hope he gets your heart.” I raised my gaze to hers and brought my hand to her cheek.
She leaned into the touch. “In eighteen weeks our life is going to change… so much… again. You ready?”
Her blue eyes gleamed with an easy joy.
“I don’t know? Do I have a choice?” I grinned, and she shoved me in the shoulder. I grasped her wrist gently and brought her hand to my chest placing it over my heart. “Maggie… with you… I’m capable of anything.”
The whole house smelled like chocolate, and my mouth watered as I mixed the third batch of brownies. The muscles in my arms were starting to ache, and I was pretty sure my ankles were swollen from being on my feet all day. Ryan was going to lecture me about taking it easy, just like I did to him eighty thousand times a day. It was hard to just let him be. He was healthy, but unfortunately for him, I knew every detailed thing that could go wrong. I exhaled loudly, and the piece of hair that kept falling in my face puffed out of my line of sight as I stirred to the count of fifty. Using the electric mixer made more sense, but I watched Ryan do this a hundred times, and his brownies were freaking delicious. I wanted these to be perfect. Everything had to be just right.
“Hey, Bee, hand me that pan?”
“Got it.” Beth leaned over the breakfast bar and lightly shoved the pan in my direction.
“Thanks, honey.” I lifted my right eyebrow and gave her a smile. “You know, I’m going to need your help once your little brother gets here.”
Beth giggled. “I know. You tell me this all the time, Mom.” She dipped her finger in the chocolate batter as she leaned even further on her stool.
“We’ve got a busy few weeks ahead of us,” I said as I poured the batter into the pan. The spoon scraped on the glass as I tried to manage every last drop.
“I’m excited about the new house.” Beth eased back onto the stool and started to play with her tiny plastic Avengers set.
“So am I.”
My stomach flipped just thinking about everything that had to happen in the next three weeks before the baby got here. This house was older, and in a town this small, real estate was a joke. We’d had to sell it before we would qualify for the one place we wanted. Good thing for us, just last week we got an offer and we accepted it. This was the last week we had in this house, and Ryan had been gone all day at the new place refinishing the wood floors with Tate and Collin. It wasn’t much. A three-bedroom fixer-upper built before I was born, but it worked. Ryan was thrilled and I worried. I had to admit, though, the more he did, the better he looked and felt. He wasn’t a piece of fragile glass, and I needed to remember that.
“Do you think Ry will like the Hulk?” Beth’s eyes were wide with concern, and I laughed as the last bit of batter fell to the pan.
“I think you’re going to be the best big sister, Bee, and I think he’ll love the Hulk.” I placed the bowl down as Beth yawned.
“After I put this last batch in the oven, it’s time for bed.”
She groaned but nodded her head.
I scooped a bit of chocolate with my finger and wiped it on her nose. We were all giggles when I heard the front door shut. I stole a lick from the spoon just as Ryan walked into the kitchen with a grin.
“I saw that.” He chuckled.
I pointed the spoon in my hand in his direction with a smirk and narrowed my eyes. “What are you trying to say?”
Ryan’s eyes dropped to my elephant sized stomach as I placed the spoon down and waddled from behind the counter. He fell to his knees before me, and my lips spread into a huge smile. This was my favorite part.
He placed his hands on either side of my belly and his lips dusted across the fabric of my shirt as he spoke, “Always tell your wife she’s beautiful and that you love her no matter how much chocolate she eats.” The baby responded to his voice with a few light kicks.
“Ryan,” I reprimanded him and pressed my lips together in order not to laugh.
The palms of my hands rested on his beard covered cheeks as he raised his eyes to mine. “I’m kidding.” He released me from his stare and kissed my belly just before he stood. He placed his lips on my forehead and brought his mouth to my ear. “I could watch you lick that spoon all damn day,” he whispered, and my cheeks flushed with heat as he pulled away.
His eyes were bright, and the rich laughter that spilled from his lips pooled in my stomach. He was every bit of a man with his calloused hands, grit, and sweat. His hair was disheveled, and his usual soapy scent was mixed with his hard day of work. I wasn’t sure if it was the hormones or just him, but it was sexy.
He assessed the mess in the kitchen. “You’ve been busy.” His smile faltered as he realized how busy. “Maggie.” It was his turn to admonish. “Are you trying to go into labor? I hate that you’ve been on your feet all day.”
“I helped a lot.” Beth’s sing-song voice drew his attention from me.
“I bet you did, Little Bee. How’s my girl?” He turned and scooped Beth up from the stool.
She squealed. “Put me down.”
Ryan put her over his shoulder into a fireman’s hold. “I’ll get this one ready for bed.”
“I’ll finish up in here.” I placed the brownies in the oven and laughed as Beth fell limp in his arms like a rag doll.
By the time I’d finished up in the kitchen, Beth had showered, brushed her teeth, and was sound asleep just as the timer went off for the brownies. I assumed Ryan was in the shower, so, when his hands snaked around my non-existent waist, I almost screamed. The sound caught in my throat as his warm lips trailed along the curve of my neck.
“Shit, you scared me.” I almost dropped the hot pan as I set it on the stove top.
“A little,” I said with a shiver. His nose traced an uneven line across my flesh, and the sensation of it sent goose bumps all the way down to my toes. I turned, and Ryan stepped back enough to accommodate my oversized mid-section. “I’m a whale.”
“I love your stomach.” His words were sincere, and as his mouth lowered to mine, my insecurities faded to black. Ryan’s mouth was confident, powerful, and as he kissed me with starving lips, his hands scorched along my back. My teeth nipped at his full bottom lip as he broke our kiss with a growl. “I need to shower.” His eyes were dark, and his breathing was deep. “Come with me?” He cocked his eyebrow, and a shy smile split my lips.
“Okay.”
Ryan’s grin was salacious, and I was sure every inch of my skin was on fire as he led us back to our bathroom. That was the thing about him, though, he made it feel like he was unwrapping me for the first time all over again. Each time we were together, he treated it as if it was the first and maybe the last. For some couples, I assumed it would be impossible to see past the superhero shower curtain. The bathtub toys and the large round pregnant belly would be a distraction but as Ryan towered over me, and the warmth of the shower covered our skin, all I saw was him. His large, sturdy hands were on my waist as he pulled me against his body. He was solid and full of muscle; it made me feel dainty. We’d perfected our private little bubble since he’d left the hospital. Hands seeking and touching, mouths taking, his need to my want, it was our way, and each time I’d melt. I’d drown, and when I surfaced his brown eyes kept me rooted in place. Exactly where I needed to be… with him.
We’d stayed in the shower longer than we should have, and the clock on the bedside table reminded me I should be sleeping as my fingers outlined the scar on his chest.
“Are you worried?” I asked, and Ryan’s eyes opened.
He shifted his body onto its side to face me, and the bed creaked under his weight. “About what?” His laugh was quiet. “Maggie, we have about twenty different things going on, should I pick one?” He lifted his hand and tickled a line of goose bumps down my arm.