“Yes, I do. They’re in the living room.”
She rolled her eyes at me and went to the fridge. “Military weapons and battlefield strategy isn’t the most interesting to me.”
“Maybe if you knew more about the subjects you wouldn’t need someone protecting you.”
“You could always teach me.”
“Teach you what?”
“How to shoot. I mean, it’s not like there’s much more to do around here. What do you do all day, anyway?”
“I watch films about war, I read books about war, and I clean my weapons.”
“Your weapons? I haven’t seen any weapons around here.”
“They’re in the room you were going to break into while I was gone.” Her cheeks flushed red when she realized that I knew about her snooping. “Yeah, I have cameras all over my house. I’m a paranoid bastard, so I know all about your snooping.”
“You don’t have cameras everywhere, do you?”
“Every damn room. You might want to be more discreet when you change and maybe sleep in a little more clothing.”
I was a bastard for sure, but I couldn’t help getting my little jabs in. If she was going to invade my space, I sure as hell was going to enjoy it. She stormed over to the phone on the wall and dialed. She could only be calling one person, so I let her have it.
“John? I just wanted to let you know that dinner will be ready in an hour,” she said as she smirked at me. That bitch. “Great. We’ll see you then.” She hung up the phone and grinned at me. “Better get ready for company, sweetie. You might want to shower. You still smell all sweaty and we wouldn’t want our guests to think you don’t want them here.”
Her syrupy sweet smile really grated on my nerves, but I knew that she was getting a thrill from pushing my buttons, so I just smiled and wheeled off to my bedroom. All I had to do was convince the guys that I wanted them here. That wouldn’t be too hard. They’d even get me beer and maybe I could convince one of them to take her out and teach her to shoot so that I could get some peace and quiet around here.
✯✯✯✯✯
Wheeling into the kitchen, I was immediately pissed off. Vanessa was laughing with the guys as she drank a glass of wine. I didn’t keep wine in the house, which meant one of those dumbasses brought it for her. Chris whispered something in her ear and she playfully smacked him on the chest. Her hand lingered a little too long for my liking and Chris actually smiled at her. The asshole never smiled at anything, so why the hell was he smiling at her?
I couldn’t let her get away with this shit. If I acted like it didn’t bother me to have the guys here, she would give up the idea that she could get to me through them. I had showered and put on a nice shirt. Hopefully, I could make it through dinner without anyone realizing how much it pissed me off to have all these people in my house.
“What smells so good?” I asked as I pulled up to the table.
Vanessa turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “I made meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Chris’s favorite,” she said, smiling playfully at Chris. My nostrils flared as I tried to control my anger. Vanessa wasn’t here for these guys to fuck with. She had been mine and even if I couldn’t have her now, there was no way I was going to let these assholes put their hands on her.
“Really? I had no idea.”
“Maybe you would if you actually hung out with your friends,” Vanessa sniped at me.
“You’re right,” I said with as much sincerity as I could muster. “These guys are here to help, since I obviously can’t protect you the way I should.” I waved my hand down at my legs. Although there was some truth to what I was saying, it was all for show. I didn’t give a fuck why these guys were here. They were invading my space, as was Vanessa. If I had to kiss their asses to get her out of my hair for a few hours every day, I would gladly do it. “I know that I’m an asshole most days, but I’m trying.”
“See? Now was that really so hard?” Vanessa asked. The guys saw right through me though. Every one of them shook their head at me, knowing full well that I had been an asshole to all of them since I was in the hospital and that wouldn’t change overnight.
I smiled at Vanessa and rubbed my hands together. “When are we eating? It smells delicious.” Might as well get some good food out of this arrangement.
“It’s just about ready. Would you like something to drink?”
“A beer would be great.”
“Perfect,” she smiled. “I had Chris come over a little early and install a bar by the fridge.”
I glanced over to see a bar opposite the fridge that would be about waist high on me. “And why did you do that?” I asked with a controlled voice.
“Because, silly. If we always go get things from the fridge for you, you’ll never do things for yourself.”
“That’s why I had things set up so I could reach them in the fridge,” I bit out.
“Well, I understand that, but if you don’t push yourself, you’re not going to make any progress.”
I glared at her and then at the guys who were all holding in their laughter. “I can’t make any fucking progress because I can’t hold myself up.”
She carried the dish over to the table and set it on a hot pad. Taking off her oven mitts, she patted my cheek. “You just need to try harder, sweetie. Go ahead. Try it out.”
This was bullshit. This night wasn’t going at all how I had planned. Still, if I had to fucking prove to her that the bar wouldn’t be any help, then I would. I wheeled over to the bar and locked the wheels. I swallowed hard as I thought about how I had fallen earlier today and how embarrassed I was that she saw me fall. Only now, my brothers would be there to witness it also. I didn’t know if I could stand that. I could just get this over with and then sit in shame at the table while they all realized that I really couldn’t do it, or I could go sit in my room the rest of the night and say fuck it.
I never backed down from a challenge, but right now, I just couldn’t stand to have all four of them seeing me fail. I unlocked my wheels and rolled right past their shocked faces and down the hall to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.
Vanessa
I looked down at my plate as tears threatened to spill over when Sam slammed the door to his bedroom, leaving me in silence with his friends. I shouldn’t have done it. I baited him and it didn’t work. I could see his face as he stared at the bar. I could see the fear of failure in his eyes and I knew then that I had made the wrong decision. I had pushed him too hard and instead of pushing him toward working harder, I pushed him toward defeat.
The look on his face as he passed us said that he’d had enough. I had done that to him. I thought that I could make a difference with him, but what the hell did I know?
“This may just work,” Chris said as he dug into the dish.
“How could you say that? Didn’t you see the look on his face? I pushed him too far.”
“That’s what he needs. He’s going to sit in his room and stew in his anger all night. He needs to be angry,” John said. All three guys dished out their food as I sat there in stunned silence, feeling like a horrible person.
“How can you say that?” I asked. “How can you stand to see him like this? He’s not at all like he used to be.”
“You’re right. Cazzo is a beast and he’s either not giving therapy all he has or it’s not working. The only way he’s going to get better is if he pushes through therapy or if he gets angry enough that he asks one of us to help him,” Jules said.
“But what I did, pushing him like that, I’m not that kind of person. It was mean to do that to him in front of all of you. He was embarrassed.”
“Vanessa, I know that you want to protect him the way he protected you, but what he needs is a swift kick in the ass. Cazzo isn’t the type to lay down and take shit, so we have to push him until he decides to make a change. If he can feel his legs, then chances are he’ll walk again. He just has to realize that he’s the only one that can make that happen,” John said around a
bite of meatloaf.
“But I saw him when he came home from therapy. He looked exhausted. You can’t tell me he’s not trying.”
“Then he needs to make a change to his therapy, but he needs to want that change. If I go in there and suggest it, he’ll tell me to get the fuck out and mind my own goddamn business,” John continued. “Which is why it’s perfect that you’re here. He doesn’t want to appear weak in front of you, so hopefully he’ll try to show you that he can be the man he once was.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
“He will. Trust me. Cazzo doesn’t have a weak bone in his body.”
After dinner, the guys helped me clear the dishes and I insisted that I could clean up on my own. I needed time to think. They went back to whatever they were doing and I thought about what the guys had said. Maybe pushing him in that way wasn’t what he needed from me. Maybe he needed me to be the woman that relied on him, the woman that desired him.
I plated up some food for him and carried it to his room. After missing dinner because of my antics, the least I could do was make sure he ate a good meal tonight. I knocked hesitantly on his door and when he didn’t answer, I opened the door slightly and peered in. He wasn’t in his bedroom, which meant he was in his bathroom. I snuck in with every intention of setting the plate down on his dresser and leaving, but I heard something that sounded like grunting and I worried that something was wrong. What if he fell and couldn’t get up? He would hate me if I saw him like that, but I couldn’t just walk away.
I slowly made my way to his bathroom door and knocked. “Sam?” He didn’t answer and my worry grew. Steeling myself, I walked into the bathroom and glanced over to the shower where Sam was struggling to stand and adjust the shower head. I could see his arm muscles flexing and his whole upper body contracting as he held himself up with just his upper body strength. I caught sight of a nipple ring on his right pec, realizing that was what was protruding from his shirt the other day. His legs were basically dangling like limp noodles, but his cock hung long even now when he wasn’t hard. I blushed and tried to look away, but he released one arm to adjust the head and fumbled as his hand started to slip from the bar.
Without thinking, I ran forward and tried to catch him as he lost his grip and fell to the shower floor. I caught him by the arms, but he weighed too much and I crashed to the floor with him, landing hard on my hip. I yelped out in pain as he pushed himself off me and twisted around with a sneer.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?”
“I just-”
“You just what? Came to see how the cripple got himself in and out of the shower?” he yelled.
“No! I brought you dinner and I heard you in here. I thought..I just-”
“You just thought you’d come take a peek and see what I looked like now? Guess what, sweetheart. I wouldn’t fuck you before and I sure as hell can’t fuck you now!”
I was mortified. I had just wanted to help him, but obviously that was the wrong decision. I stood up in my sopping wet clothes and tried to hide the tears that were threatening to spill over. This wasn’t me. I didn’t take shit from people, especially when I was trying to do something good.
“I never said anything about wanting to fuck you. I was trying to be nice and bring you dinner. I thought that you were in trouble here, so I came to help. I’m sorry if it bruises your ego to let a woman see you like this, but I don’t give a shit. If I think you need help, I’m not going to sit back and do nothing. So, do you want some help or should I leave you here on the shower floor?”
He sighed and wiped the water from his face. “Just get me a fucking towel,” he growled.
“Please.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Get me a fucking towel, please.”
It wasn’t the nicest request I’d ever heard, but at least it was something. I grabbed the towel that was on his wheelchair and flung it at him. “What else can I do?”
“You can leave me the fuck alone.”
“And how are you going to get back in your chair when you’re all wet and slippery?”
“I’ll figure it out. You weigh like a buck ten. There’s no way you could help me anyway.”
“Is that a challenge?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I’ll tell you what, if you can get me up off the ground and into my chair, I promise to be nice to you for a whole day.”
I smirked at him and walked into the other room, looking for something I could use to assist me.
“Giving up already, sweetheart?”
I ignored him and continued my search, smiling when I came across some spare sheets. I went back to the bathroom, smiling triumphantly as I held up the spare sheets.
“What? Are you going to roll me up in sheets?”
“Watch and see.” I threw part of the sheet over the bar at the top of the shower and then realized that it wouldn’t be long enough. I took the fitted sheet and tied it to the top sheet, then pulled it over the bar. Cazzo had wrapped the towel around his waist, so I slid the sheet under his ass the best I could and then tied it in a triangle above his head.
“Alright. You hold onto the sheet and I’m going to haul you up.”
He snorted and let out a chuckle. “Sure, that’ll be the day.”
“What? You don’t think I can do it?”
“Sweetheart, I weigh more than twice as much as you.”
“I can do it,” I said as I picked up the other end of the sheet and pulled with all my might. Sam laughed at me when he moved nowhere. “Okay, grab that bar and help me pull you up.”
“Nope, that wasn’t part of the deal. You’re supposed to get me in that chair all by yourself.”
“You’re such an ass.”
“So I’ve been told.”
I wrapped the sheet around my hand and then pulled again, but my foot slipped in water and I fell backwards, smacking my head against the tile floor. It hurt like a bitch, but I was pretty sure I was okay. When I heard Sam urgently calling my name, I decided to work this to my advantage. I laid as still as possible and feigned unconsciousness.
“Vanessa, sweetheart, talk to me.”
Still, I laid there and pretended to be out like a light.
“Goddamn stubborn woman,” I heard him grunt. A few moments later, he was next to me and running his hand over my head.
“Vanessa, come on. I can’t get you off this floor by myself. You’re gonna have to help me out, sweetheart.”
When I didn’t respond, he swore and lifted me over his shoulder rather harshly and then scoot over to his chair, where he used his arm strength to pull himself into his chair. I had no idea how he did it, but I could feel every muscle in his body flexing beneath me.
“Hold on, Vanessa. I’m going to get you help.”
He unlocked the wheels on his chair and started wheeling out of the room. I sat up in his arms and grinned at his stunned face.
“Now you have to be nice to me all day tomorrow.”
“What the- you tricked me.”
“You said that I had to get you into the chair by myself. You never said how.” His nostrils flared, but I could see that he was trying to hold back a smile. “Admit it, I beat you at your own game.”
“You tricked me and it was a damn dirty trick.”
I moved my head side to side as I thought about it, wincing when my head throbbed from the movement. “Maybe, but I did what I had to do to win.”
His eyes lingered on mine for a moment before lowering to my lips. My breath caught as I remembered what it was like the last time that his lips were on mine. He had me pushed up against the wall of the hotel and he possessed my mouth like no one had before. I leaned in, needing to taste him on my lips again. I was just a breath away and I could feel his breath fan against my lips. He pulled back suddenly and cleared his throat, breaking whatever spell we were under and making the situation very awkward when I felt his erection poking at me. He lied about the not being able to fuck me part.
�
�I think you’ve made your point. You should leave now.”
I nodded and stood, wincing slightly as my head throbbed from the movement.
“Are you sure you’re okay? I heard your head smack the ground pretty good,” he asked in concern.
“I’m fine. Just a little goose egg.” He didn’t look like he believed me, but he didn’t stop me from leaving either. “Your dinner is on your dresser,” I said as I walked out of his bedroom.
CHAPTER SIX
Cazzo
MY HANDS WERE still shaking after she left my bedroom. The last time I had been that scared was when we were leaving her charity event the night I was shot. I had a sick feeling that something was going to happen and I had been terrified that I wouldn’t be able to stop it. When I saw her lying on the floor, the first thing I thought was that I couldn’t even help her. Which proved that Cap was dumb as shit to send her here to live with me. A simple accident like that could have turned out much differently and it would have taken me way too long to do anything about it.
But the feel of her in my arms was what really had me going. The last time I had felt her body that close to mine, I knew that she would be the death of me. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for Vanessa, no matter how hard I tried to deny it. I didn’t even know what it was. I was just drawn to her. Maybe it was just lust, but I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be able to walk away from her unless I had a taste. I almost went for it, but then I remembered that I had a job to do and as long as she was here, I couldn’t risk what might happen if I kissed her.
I wasn’t totally blind to the fact that I might not even be someone she would want to be with now that I was half the man I used to be. Just because she once felt that desire for me didn’t mean it was still there. Still, I could swear that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
Wheeling into my room, I got dressed and stared at the dinner she had brought in for me. Vanessa was a caring person that always thought the best of everyone, though she tried to hide it. The fact that she brought me dinner even though I’d been an ass to her since she got here was telling of the type of person she was.
Cazzo: A Reed Security Romance (Reed Security Series Book 3) Page 6
