by Anne Herries
Suddenly, she realised that he was burning up. It was not a dream but a fever! She jumped out of bed and lit a candle, taking it nearer so that she could see him more clearly. His face had swollen so much more since he had come to her, and she could see a yellow pus oozing from it.
It had taken harm and he was suffering from a virulent infection. Melissa knew that unless drastic steps were taken, he might die of such an infection, and she went to the door, shouting for help. A servant came running.
‘My husband is ill,’ she said. ‘Is there a physician within the castle?’
‘No, my lady—but Master Hale knows something of healing.’
‘Then summon him at once, for it is urgent.’
Melissa went back to the bed to look at Rob. He was tossing and turning and he cried out a name—her name. She bent over him, touching the swollen flesh about the scar, discovering that when she pressed it more of the yellow pus came oozing out. She looked around and saw a bowl and ewer, and fetched them to the bed, standing the bowl on a small chest. She found a piece of cloth that Rob had used earlier to wash himself and began to bathe the infected wound, but as often as she wiped the pus away it came up again.
‘That will not help, my lady.’ The steward’s voice made her turn to him with relief. ‘The wound must be cut and cauterised or the infection will spread over his body. I told him earlier that it needed to be done, but he said it would heal.’
‘Will it not hurt him to apply a hot iron?’
‘He has known pain before, my lady. If nothing is done he may die.’
‘Then you must do it,’ Melissa said, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill over. ‘Tell me what I must do, for I would help if I can.’
‘Your task will come after,’ the steward said. ‘Return to your own chamber, Lady Melford, and I shall summon you when it is done.’
Melissa looked at him mutinously for she could not bear to leave Rob this way, but then she inclined her head. ‘You will tell me when it is over?’
‘Yes, my lady.’ Hale smiled at her. ‘Do not fear for him. He is a strong man and has suffered before.’
‘Yes, I know.’ She turned away but her heart was aching. Was it not enough that he had suffered once before for her sake—must he be tormented in this way? Yet she knew that the steward was honest and that she might trust him. Rob would die unless the infection was burned away, because he had neglected it and it had taken harm.
Melissa was spared the sight of Rob writhing in agony as his wound was opened and burned clean of the festering infection. When she returned in the first light of morning, Rob’s cheek was covered with a wad of linen that hid the ugly sight from her.
‘You may help to keep him cool and clean,’ Hale said. ‘But I shall treat his wound myself until I am satisfied it has healed sufficiently. Your task will be to make him stay in bed once he recovers his senses.’
‘He will not like to be so confined,’ Melissa said.
‘I daresay not,’ the steward replied. ‘But had he taken more care at the start it might not have come to this…but he is not a man to worry about slight injuries.’
‘You call it slight?’
Hale smiled oddly. ‘Not my words, lady, but his. You must know your husband—he takes little account of physical pain.’
‘No…’ Melissa thanked him for his care of Rob and then went to take her seat beside the bed. There was nothing for her to do but watch over him, and keep him company when he woke.
Rob became aware of the stinging pain in his cheek as he returned to consciousness. It hurt like hell and yet the agony he had been enduring for some days had gone. He put a tentative hand to his cheek, discovering that it had a pad of linen fastened to it with bands of more linen, and it seemed to be less swollen than it had been that night…what night?
He struggled to remember, and then it came back to him. He had forced Melissa to marry him and discovered her weeping in her chamber. A smothered oath left his lips. He must have been out of his mind to force her to wed him, but the infection had been troubling him for a while before that and perhaps that was why he had done it. At least, he could think of no other reason for it was certain that she did not wish to be his wife. He moaned and opened his eyes to find her bending over him, a cooling cloth in her hand as she bathed his brow.
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked harshly.
‘Where else should I be?’ she asked, and smiled at him. ‘You have been ill for nearly a week, Rob, and we have all taken a turn in caring for you—though you owe your recovery to Master Hale, for it was he who lanced the wound and applied the iron. It has almost healed and it looks so much better. Indeed, in a few months I daresay it will be almost gone.’
‘Indeed?’ he said, and frowned at her. ‘Then I suppose I must be grateful for I believe it was badly infected.’
‘Your cheek had swollen terribly and it was oozing pus. I tried wiping it away, but Hale told me that it would only become worse and that it must be lanced and cauterised. I feared that it would hurt you badly, but he said that you did not fear pain.’
‘Of that sort, no,’ Rob said, his eyes narrowed and suspicious. ‘But why are you here? You did not need to tend me. There are plenty of servants to do that surely.’
‘Yes, but I wished to help,’ Melissa said. ‘I was anxious for your recovery.’
‘Had I died you would have been a widow and free to please yourself.’
‘You think I would rejoice in your death? You wrong me,’ Melissa said. ‘But if it does not please you to have me here, I shall go.’
‘Go then,’ he said. ‘I shall not detain you further—though I thank you for whatever you have done while I lay here.’
Melissa gave him a speaking look but said nothing. She had wept over him and sat by his side all through the fever, but it seemed that nothing she could do would please him. He could not forgive her.
Rob lay back against the pillows. He felt weak and ill, and his sickness was compounded by the knowledge that he had hurt her again. He had hurt her so many times, and it was not what he wanted. He wanted to make her smile and laugh as she had when he held her hand in the stream so that she should not fall. He wanted her to love him, but he did not know how to tell her. His bitterness had killed the sweetness that he had loved, and she was a proud woman—a woman he could not reach.
‘You should not try to get up yet, sir,’ Hale said as his master insisted on getting out of bed. ‘You have been very ill—indeed, had your lady not called me that night, I think you would have died, perhaps by morning.’
‘My wife called you—What night was that?’
‘The night of your wedding, my lord. She was here in your chamber and she sent a servant to fetch me. As I have told you, I believe that her action saved your life.’
‘And your own skill,’ Rob said with a wry smile. ‘I have not yet thanked you as I ought. You owed me no loyalty and yet you used your skills to help me—why?’
‘Do you know what the earl would have done had he taken an enemy’s fortress?’ Hale asked. ‘I have seen murder and rape and worse—and was sickened by it in my youth. You are not a man such as he and I should be proud to serve you. If you will have me?’
‘I shall be glad of it, though I have a steward,’ Rob said. ‘But my wife has lands and we shall need a good steward there—if that would serve?’
‘I would work in your kitchens if you asked it of me, sir.’
‘I think we shall find better work for you,’ Rob said. ‘There will come a time when David is no longer able to fill his duties and for now—’ he shrugged ‘—hand me my shirt, if you will. I must dress and go down or they will be thinking I am dead…’
‘A day has not passed when you have not been asked for,’ Hale said, but he handed him his shirt for he knew that Rob was not a man to be denied.
‘So, you are better,’ Melissa said when she saw him come down. She had been giving orders to one of the women who served her and went to greet him. �
�Are you sure you should be up yet?’
‘I am much better. I shall grow weak if I lie in bed longer, and I have things I must do,’ Rob told her. His eyes went over her hungrily. She looked more beautiful than ever, and he knew that he must speak of what was in his mind. ‘I must ask you to forgive me for what I said to you. It was harsh and unjustified, for Hale has told me that you found me, and that I might have died had I lain there all night. I have no clear memory of why you were in my room…’
‘I came because we had quarrelled,’ she said. ‘It was our wedding night and you found me crying. You were angry and you left me…’
‘And you came—for what reason?’
‘Because I did not wish to quarrel with you. I know that you despise me…hate me…but I…’
‘No, I do not hate you nor do I despise you,’ Rob said. ‘I cannot say that I love you, for the feelings I once had have…’
‘I know that they must have died long ago,’ Melissa said before he could finish. ‘I do not ask that you love me, but I wish…’
‘That I would release you? It is what I should have done, of course. I had no right to force you to marry me. I should have taken you to your kinswoman or…’ He shook his head and smiled oddly, some of his old humour in his face. ‘I cannot see you as a nun, Melissa. Nuns are meek women who give their lives to God and good works. I think you have too much spirit…’
‘Yes, perhaps,’ she agreed. ‘I do not think it is truly what I want, though I would have accepted it rather than…be the wife of that man.’
‘Did you hate it so much?’ Rob asked, his eyes intent on her face. ‘Why did you not ask me for help when we met near Shrewsbury that day?’
‘There were two reasons,’ Melissa told him, her voice calm and controlled. ‘My father had kept Rhona with him, because he knew that I cared for her. He told me that if I did not go through with the marriage he would give her to Harold for his pleasure.’
‘The devil he did! May his black heart rot in hell,’ Rob said. ‘And the other?’
‘Harold would have killed you. He had ten men and you were alone. I would never do anything that might lead to your death.’
‘Is that the truth?’ Rob took her by the shoulders, holding her firmly but gently. ‘If you were prepared to sacrifice yourself for Rhona—and to lose your chance to escape for my sake—why…’
She knew what he would ask. ‘We were betrayed, Rob. Agnes told my father that we had been meeting. Foolishly, I told him that we wished to marry. I should have lied, pretended that we had met once by chance—and sent you word to stay away. I knew that my father did not love me, but I did not know that he hated you and your father.’
‘You mean the quarrel over the land?’
‘No—it was much more,’ Melissa said. ‘My father wanted to marry your mother but she refused him and married yours. I believe that was why he made me send you away. He could have barred you from the castle that day, for he was there, in the room, hidden behind the tapestry. But he made me hurt you. I knew that if I told you the truth he would punish us both and so I said all those terrible things…I wanted you to go because he had promised that nothing would happen to you if I sent you away, but he lied. He told me afterwards that he had given Harold permission to have his sport with you.’
‘Why did you not tell me this before? In the forest—your father was not there that day.’
‘You were so angry, so bitter. Would you have believed me?’
Rob looked at her, and then shook his head. ‘No, I was too full of hatred even to listen.’
‘But you do believe me now?’ She looked into his face and saw that he was struggling to bring his feelings under control. ‘I have not lied to you. But I can see that it is no use, you cannot forgive me.’ She walked away from him.
Rob watched her go. He knew that he should follow and beg her to forgive him, and yet still the nagging doubts haunted him. He wanted to believe her…but he could not be sure that she was not lying even now. She was his wife and perhaps she thought that the only way she could find some ease in life was to deceive him…as he knew many women did when they were trapped in a marriage they hated.
He did not know what to do. He had forced her to become his wife, and yet he feared that they would never find happiness together if he held her to her vows. It might be possible to have the marriage annulled for it had not been consummated, and his illness would be testament to that…and yet it would cut the heart out of him to let her go.
He ought to do it! She had the right to choose.
Melissa tossed restlessly in her bed. Rob had offered her freedom. He would send her to her kinswoman Alanna Davies with an escort and then he would arrange an annulment of their marriage.
‘It was wrong of me to force you to marry me,’ he had told her at supper. ‘I have no excuse for my behaviour towards you since I came here, Melissa. I have been bitter and angry and I blamed you for what happened when I knew full well that your father hated mine. Harold of Meresham is a bully and known for his barbarity. I should have known that you were blameless for what he did…as for the rest, I am trying to believe it was as you say. Forgive me if I do not say that I never thought you capable of such faithlessness, for I have and it will take some time to forget.’
‘I forgive you and I understand,’ Melissa had told him, retiring to her chamber, but now she was no longer so understanding. She had bared her soul to him, and still he held back—believed her faithless.
Getting out of bed, she wrapped her cloak around her and set off down the narrow passageway to Rob’s chamber. As before his room was in darkness. But this time she had brought her own taper and she lit his so that the light flared, giving her a good view of him. He was sleeping and she saw that he had taken off the linen that had covered his wound. She bent over him to look at it more closely, pleased to see that it was healing well. He looked so peaceful and her anger melted. Smiling, she bent to kiss the scar. She would not wake him to quarrel with him now. It had been foolish to come here.
Rob was instantly awake as her lips touched his cheek. He gave a muffled shout of alarm, reacting instinctively. He jerked up, grabbing at her, pulling her down on top of him as he muttered something, his hands at her throat. She gave a little moan of fright, thinking that he meant to strangle her.
‘Damn it!’ he growled, and jumped out of bed. He stood looking down at her in bewilderment. He was completely naked, his body gleaming bronze in the yellow light, as if it had often been exposed to the sun. She could not take her eyes from him for he was beautifully formed, his muscles hard and strong, his stomach flat with a sprinkling of dark hair that arrowed to his manhood. ‘What the hell are you doing, Melissa? I thought it was an assassin. I might have killed you!’
‘You offered me my freedom,’ she said. ‘But I do not want it. When I thought you would die…’ She shook her head. ‘But you hate me still…’
‘I do not hate you,’ Rob said. ‘Why did you come here on our wedding night? Was it to beg me to set you free?’
‘No…’
‘Tell me!’
‘I came to you,’ she whispered, sitting up against the pillows, her hair tumbling about her shoulders, a fiery golden mass against the soft cream of her skin in the candlelight. ‘I did not mean to refuse you when you came to me earlier that night, Rob. I am a foolish girl and I was afraid…’
‘Because of this, I know.’ He touched the scar, and becoming aware of his nakedness reached for the gown he had discarded earlier.
‘No!’ Melissa rose from the bed, her hand moving towards him in supplication. ‘Do not cover yourself, Rob. You are beautiful—all of you. It is not your face I fear. Please believe me. I hardly see the scar—it does not matter, except that I know it pains you.’
‘Not so very much,’ Rob said, his eyes narrowed as he looked at her. ‘It is much better since it was lanced, for the poison has gone. If you did not feel revulsion because of this, what did you fear that night? Did you think that I wou
ld hurt you?’
‘No…’ Melissa had moved nearer to him. Greatly daring, her pulses racing, she reached up to touch his scar, tracing it delicately with her fingertips. ‘I was afraid that you did not love me—and that you would laugh at me for loving you and break my heart.’
‘Do not lie to me,’ he said, though his tone was uncertain. He reached out for her, his hands cupping her head, one on either side, bringing her face close to his so that she felt the heat of his breath. ‘Say only what you truly mean, Melissa, for I think I should kill you if I discovered that you lied.’
She smiled a little tremulously for she had begun to understand his threats came from his emotions. He did not always mean the harsh things he said to her. Perhaps it was only his hurt pride that made him say them.…
‘I mean all I say,’ she said, her throat hoarse with the fierce rush of desire that swelled in her as he kissed her. She melted into him, her body soft and pliant. ‘Make me your wife in truth, Rob, for it is all that I wish to be, I promise you.’
He pulled her hard against him, his desire for her overcoming caution as he felt the sweetness of her surrender. She was dizzy with pleasure as she felt the surge of his need against her, the heat of his body penetrating her thin shift. And then he had lifted her in his arms, laying her down in the bed. For a moment he looked down at her, then, as she smiled at him, he came to join her, lying by her side, looking into her eyes.
‘I shall not hurt you,’ he whispered hoarsely. ‘Even when I believed that you had spurned me for a rich marriage I could never forget you. I could never truly hate you, Melissa, though in my anger I tried.’
