by Suzanne Hart
I was boiling with anger in my chair as Anne brought over a plate of French toast and placed a bowl of fruit beside it.
“Grandma says that you will be spending even more time with me!” Cici squealed and clapped her hands.
“Mom, please don’t make promises to my daughter on my behalf,” I said in a low, growling voice. Anne had already left the room, sensing the charged atmosphere between us. Cici fell quiet when she heard my voice.
“Does that mean you’re not going to be spending more time with me, Daddy?” she asked in a low, crestfallen voice. I didn’t want to disappoint Cici, that was not my intention. I just didn’t have the time. The very fact that I had missed my meeting in New York, that I was late for work now…was bad enough. I was already itching to leave the house.
Mom sighed deeply and then fixed her eyes on me.
“And what about Nora?” she asked, and I crossed my brows at her.
“What about Nora? What are you talking about?” I growled. Cici remained silent; even she could sense a storm raging between us. She had seen this happening before — in fact, every time her grandmother came to visit.
“You are stringing that poor girl along,” Mom said.
“Daddy, what is grandma talking about? What happened to Nora?” Cici asked. I banged my fist on the table, making the dishes clatter.
“Cici, go to your room!” I barked at her.
“But Daddy, I’m still eating.”
“Go, now!” I growled.
I waited a minute, till Cici had dejectedly left the room and Mom and I were alone again.
“Don’t speak that way in front of Cici again!” I said gruffly to her.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be speaking to your daughter like that again!” she exclaimed. I was hot under my collar; my fists were clenched, and I was gritting my teeth with anger.
“What do you want from me? What do you all want from me?” I growled. Mom remained calm. She eyed me closely, and then she sighed.
“I just want you to get over your loss, Felix…it’s been many years. You’re making Cici suffer because you’ve been sad all this time. And now, now you may have finally found someone and you’re pushing her away,” Mom said. I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Found someone? Are you talking about Nora?” I growled.
“Yes, son. I know she’s not just a friend or a close colleague!” she exclaimed.
I stood up from my chair; I wasn’t hungry anymore.
“You don’t know anything about her, but you’re here passing judgment. I’m not grieving any more, Mom; I’m fine. Cici is fine. You don’t have to fix anything!” I growled, and then I turned from her and walked out of the kitchen.
Cici was standing at the door in the hallway. Her face was sad, and tears were pooling in her eyes. I wanted to pull her into my arms, to stroke her hair and apologize for the way I had acted with her, or what she had overheard just now. But I couldn’t. I just needed to be alone.
I walked to the front door and went to the car, asking the chauffeur to take me to the hotel. It was only when we were nearly at the hotel that I realized I wasn’t in a suit, I was wearing the same jeans and shirt as the previous night.
Chapter 17
Nora
I had an early morning shift that day at the hotel, so I was done in the afternoon. I wasn’t sure how I had even managed to get through the day without having a nervous breakdown. Jackson had me in the kitchen of one of the restaurants that was serving breakfast. It was a fast-paced, charged-up atmosphere, and I had struggled all morning to keep up.
Of course, there was also the matter of the kiss. I had spent all morning at the hotel, hoping that I wouldn’t run into Felix. I wouldn’t have known how to act or what to say to him. Things had ended so abruptly between us.
When I returned to the apartment, I saw that Katie was still at work. I had the place all to myself. For some time, after I had showered and changed, I tried to sit on the couch and watch some TV, but I was too distracted to pay attention. I was thinking about Felix, about how he had made me feel…how he had opened me up to a new kind of experience.
There were goosebumps on my skin again, as I thought about him. The way he had touched me through the dress.
I was half-lying on the couch, and now, I couldn’t help but reach for that spot between my legs. I gulped. I had never touched myself like this before, but now I felt like if I didn’t, I would explode. I pressed my eyes closed and tried to imagine him again. His hot breath falling on my face, his piercing green eyes holding my gaze, his lips drawing closer.
I slipped my hand under the elastic band of my shorts, slowly crawling towards my panties. I was wet already! How had that happened? I was wet just like I was wet the previous night when he squeezed my breast.
I bit down on my lip, imagining his strong, large hands on me, how my breast had fit in that palm…he’d squeezed, roughly grazing my pebbled, hard nipple. My nipples were sensitive again. I could feel them throbbing under my oversized t-shirt. They were aching to be touched…they were aching for something else, a mouth?
My hips rolled and I arched my back, thrusting my hips up as my fingers found my warm wet folds. I gasped when I touched myself like that. It was a strange new feeling, one I had never been brave enough to try before. I just didn’t think I would want to do that to myself, that I could make myself feel good! But now my finger slipped in; slowly I felt that rough friction of my finger within my folds. My throat had gone dry; I imagined Felix’s finger there, the same spot where he had stroked me.
I could feel my clit swelling and throbbing. I rubbed my palm over it, gently massaging it and it felt good. I pressed my eyes down harder, trying to picture every detail of his strong handsome face. He was so sexy…he was the sexiest man I had met, and he had kissed me! Me!
My lips fell open and I moaned; my finger slid deeper into me.
I heard the keys jangling at the door. I leaped off the couch, pulling my t-shirt low down over my shorts. I knew I looked dazed; my cheeks were flushed and hot. Katie walked into the apartment, smiling and bright.
“Hey, you!” she exclaimed. “Just back for lunch.”
She walked towards me while I stood beside the couch sheepishly, feeling guilty and dazed. Katie narrowed her eyes at me.
“You okay there?” she asked.
“Yeah, I just fell asleep watching TV.” I tried to smile, but she had already detected something was up. She stood staring at me with her hands on her hips.
“Rrrright…do you want something to eat?” she asked.
“Yeah, sure, I could eat.” I followed her to the kitchen area of our open-plan living room.
“I have an hour for lunch today, and I figured you would be home since you left like super early in the morning.” She was in a good mood as she started tossing a quick salad for us. I was still feeling a little dizzy from how I had just made myself feel…I was panting for more, feeling like someone had just thrown a bucket of ice all over me. I could still feel my fingers in between my legs.
“So, what happened last night? Sorry I fell asleep and we couldn’t talk. Why did he invite you to his place again?” Katie asked, popping some slices of bread in the toaster.
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to pretend like I could hardly remember what last night was about.
“Oh, he just needed my help with Cici,” I said, and Katie crossed her brows.
“Excuse me? He needed your help with his daughter? Isn’t he, like, a billionaire? Doesn’t he have like dozens of employees to help?” Katie asked, serving us the food in two salad bowls.
“Yeah, but his mom is in town, and she’s a real stickler for the family thing, and I guess he just didn’t want her to think that Cici has no company,” I argued, without actually meeting Katie’s eyes. She continued to glare at me.
“So, he invited you to his house so you could give Cici company? Is he, like, paying you to do this?” she asked, and I shook my head.
“It’s not like th
at…he can see that Cici and I have a connection. She really likes me,” I said.
“Okay, Nora, sweetie, what is really going on? Did anything else happen?” She put her bowl down. I shook my head, forcing myself to meet her eyes and smile.
“Of course not, nothing else happened. It was a perfectly casual, normal dinner; his mother is lovely. Tell me about your day,” I said.
Chapter 18
Felix
Who did Mom think she was? Telling me that I was leading Nora on! I gulped, trying to let my rage grow and develop under my skin. Nora meant nothing to me. She was just an attractive employee at this hotel, who happened to be there when I decided that I needed one more person at the dinner. I could have asked anybody in her place. I could have asked Joan or one of the receptionists… I could have asked Jackson! Nora wasn’t special. I kissed her last night because she was hot, because she was standing there and I had too much to drink. That was all.
I really wanted to believe all those things.
I rolled those thoughts over and over in my head while I sat at the meeting. It was another conference call with the office in New York, and I could hear their droning voices in the background, but I wasn’t paying attention.
All I could think about was Nora and her large blue eyes and her soft sweet lips and how she had trembled when I touched her. I had been trying to convince myself of something that was just not true. I had asked her to come to the dinner because, for some reason, even though I did not want to hear any of the things she had to say, I felt like she saw me. Like she saw inside me. It was scary, and it wasn’t a feeling I was accustomed to, but there it was.
And I had kissed her because she was attractive and beautiful, but also because I wanted to kiss her. Because I had been thinking about her since the first moment I met her. Everything else was just an excuse.
“Sir?” I heard someone’s voice, and I looked up to find people staring at me through the large screen in front of me. I hadn’t heard a word they’d said.
“Yes, I’ll get back to you on that. I have to go now, my apologies,” I said and stood up from my chair and left the room.
I could hear a buzz in the room I had just left. I had not contributed to the meeting at all. Ever since Nora had come into our lives, my work had been affected. It was like she was taking over our whole lives and it was making me angrier by the minute.
I strode to my office and Joan followed me.
“Sir, Mr. Stone… Sir!” I heard her say and I stopped in my tracks and faced her.
“What? What is it, Joan?” I snapped and she gulped.
“Sir, you need to fix a date for your meeting in Hawaii. We’ve kept postponing it. Do you know when you’ll be able to go?” she asked. I shook my head; I’d forgotten all about Hawaii.
“No, I don’t know yet. My mother is in town; she’s staying with us… I need a few personal days,” I told her. I could see the astonishment on Joan’s face. In all the years that she had been working for me, those words had never come out of my mouth. She had never known me to take personal time off, to take any time off at all.
“Okay…yes, of course, sir. I’ll get back to them and let them know.” She spoke in a soft, low voice like she thought I was sick or something.
I pushed open my office door.
“And Joan, just make sure you hold back the calls or any appointments for some time. I need an hour — no, make that two hours,” I said, and I shut the door behind me before she could ask me any more questions.
I sighed deeply when I was finally alone in the office. First, I had walked into the office in jeans and a plaid shirt, and now this…I couldn’t even pay attention to a meeting. I had forgotten all about the deal I was supposed to broker in Hawaii.
I walked over to my desk and slumped down on the chair. I stared up at the ceiling, trying to calm my brain. What was the problem? Was it just that I wanted to sleep with Nora? Maybe if we had sex, I could forget about her and move on with my life. But I couldn’t do that…she was an employee, Cici really liked her, so did Mom… I couldn’t just treat her as a one-night stand, because things would get very complicated. Besides, I didn’t even know what she wanted.
And Cici…I knew I was messing things up with her. She had looked so sad in the morning after I shouted at her. I knew she had overheard some of the conversation between Mom and me. I didn’t know what she thought we were talking about. I wanted to reassure her, make her see that none of this was her fault…it was all me. I was just a messed-up, loser of a father!
I swiveled in my chair, feeling lost.
Having a child was never something I signed up for. Marriage wasn’t something I wanted either. But Natalie got pregnant, soon after we started dating. Marrying her was the right thing to do…it was what Mom had told me to do, so I asked her.
I didn’t know how to be a father; I didn’t even know how to be a husband…but I convinced myself that I would learn along the way. The two years after Cici was born had been good. Natalie and I had gotten married without really knowing each other well, but in those two years, we formed a connection. I thought I could even love her, this woman I married because she was the mother of my child.
And then she was gone, just like that, and I was left with a baby I didn’t know how to take care of. I never asked to be a father, but the one thing I knew was that I wouldn’t give Cici up for anything. Not even to Mom.
Chapter 19
Nora
Katie left for work again, after we spent a torturous lunch together where she plowed me with question after question regarding my relationship with the Stone family. I didn’t have answers to her questions. I, myself, didn’t know why I had accepted the dinner invitation, why I kept allowing myself to get tangled up in their lives.
Alone in the apartment again, I stayed away from the couch. I was horrified by my own actions from before, and instead, I focused on doing some cleaning around the place. So, when my phone rang, I didn’t hear it for the first few minutes. It kept ringing, and I finally ran to my bedroom to look for it in my bag.
“Hello!” I exclaimed, slightly out of breath from rushing to get to the phone.
“Ah! Is that you, Nora? It’s me, Helen!” I froze on the spot when I heard Felix’s mother’s voice. This was not the call I was expecting.
“Oh, yes, it’s me…hi,” I spoke meekly, afraid of what she might have to say.
“Don’t be astonished; I got your number from one of the girls at the hotel. I told her I knew you personally. They had your number on file,” Helen explained. I could hear Cici’s voice in the background, begging her grandmother to speak to me.
“Okay, well, now you have me. How can I help you?” I was pacing around the room as I spoke, while Helen sounded calm and composed.
“Oh, nothing, I was just doing a bit of cooking tonight, and I was wondering if you would like to join us for dinner again? Maybe you could finish telling me all those wonderful stories about your little town,” Helen said. Suddenly, my throat felt very dry.
“Tonight? Well, does Felix…is he…will he be there?” I asked and Helen laughed mildly.
“Well, you know my son, I’m sure. Who knows what he’ll do? He might be in New York already for all I know. It doesn’t matter…it can just be us girls. I gave Anne the day off. Cici has been spending a lot of time around strangers, and I just want her to have a cozy family dinner,” Helen continued.
“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Stone…Helen, but I’m not sure if I’d want to intrude. It might be best if it’s just you, Cici, and Felix, don’t you think?” I suggested, beginning to feel almost faint with nervousness now.
“Oh! Don’t be silly, dear. We would love to have you! Cici can’t contain herself with excitement at the thought of having you for dinner two nights in a row. Something about how she wants to organize a tea party,” Helen said, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll think about it. I do have a lot of work to get through today,” I
replied.
“Oh, good! We will look forward to seeing you after you’re done with work then, dear. I’m sure it’ll be a lovely surprise for Felix, too, if he decides to join us,” Helen said.
The call ended soon after that and I sat down on the edge of my bed with a thump. Helen had gone behind her son’s back to invite me, and I wasn’t sure how Felix would react to that. I hadn’t seen him or spoken to him after he roughly pulled away from me and stormed out of the dining room the previous night. I could sense that he regretted his decision to kiss me…and why wouldn’t he?
