by W Winters
“With Marcus still here… you’re right. We should send Nikolai.”
“Aria will never forgive me if something happens,” Carter admits and stares into the swirling whiskey in his glass.
“She doesn’t have to know,” Declan says which brings all of our eyes to him.
“It’s easy to say that, but they always find out. The truth always rises to the surface.” Sebastian’s sentiment sends a chill down my spine. I warm it with the remainder of the whiskey in my glass.
The empty tumbler hits the granite in time with the door opening behind us. All five of us turn to see Bethany, standing in the now open doorway with her hand still in the air.
The sight of her is enough to ease the tension in the room.
“You look like a deer in headlights,” Daniel comments and then waves her in.
“I’m sorry,” she says immediately, not moving an inch. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Were you planning on just sneaking around then?” Carter asks and grins at her. “We can pretend we didn’t see you if that’s the case.” The ice in his tumbler clinks as he brings it up to his smile and takes a sip.
The long sweater hangs loosely on her, but when she wraps her arms around herself, I can just barely make out the dip in her waist. With keys jingling in her hand, and seeing as how she’s slipped on leggings and boots, it’s obvious she’s heading out.
Doubt sinks its claws into me. Holding me in place as she stands there. Bethany’s wide eyes meet mine and she nearly turns around when I don’t say anything.
“Come meet my brothers,” I say loud enough to stop her in her tracks before she can run off completely.
She hesitates a moment and then walks to my side, her insecurity showing. The moment she’s beside me, I wrap my arm around her waist.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers although it’s not low enough that the rest of the guys wouldn’t hear.
“Guys, meet Bethany. Sebastian, Carter, Daniel and Declan.” I point at each of them one by one and she gives them a small, embarrassed wave. “Sebastian’s not blood, but still family,” Carter comments and then fills his glass and mine again. “Want a drink?” he offers her.
“That’s actually why I came in here,” she says and Daniel interrupts her by saying, “I like her already,” which gets agreeable laughter from the rest of the guys.
Her nerves are still high, no matter how much I run soothing circles along her back. Her voice is strained when she looks up at me and says, “I forgot I told a friend I was seeing her tonight. It’s the weekend. I was just going to head out.”
It’s more than obvious to not just me, but to all of the men standing here that she’s searching for permission.
It’s not like her, I wish they could see her. Really see her. I tell myself she just needs time.
“Have fun.” With that I smile down on her, not giving her any restraints. Seth and his men will watch her and inform me.
Blinking, she holds back the obvious questions that beg to be spoken. Instead she only nods and nearly says thank you, but those words turn into an, “Okay, I’ll see you tonight?”
My brothers and Sebastian say nothing, only observing and drinking. I know they’re judging, and I hate them for it.
I can see her need to run and before she can turn and leave me, I capture her lips with mine. Her lips are hard at first, and she utters a small protest of shock, right before she melts into me. Her lips soften and her hands move to my back when I deepen the kiss just slightly.
It doesn’t last long, but it lasts long enough to bring color to her cheeks. With her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, she smiles sweetly and barely glances at my brothers, giving them a wave before quickly walking away.
I leave the door open, watching her walk out of sight.
“She seemed nervous.”
“No shit,” Carter says and laughs off Declan’s comment at the same time Sebastian asks for another beer.
“What are you doing with her?” Carter asks me and everyone goes quiet. “It seems different from what you mentioned.” All eyes are on me as I stand alone.
I can feel all of their eyes on me, the questions piling on one after the other in their gazes. With my forearms on the cold, hard counter, my shoulders tense. I lower my gaze to my folded hands firmly placed on the granite.
“That’s a damn good question.”
Bethany
It feels like there was a heavy bell that rang too close to me. That’s the only way I can describe how I’m feeling. The sound left a ringing sensation on my skin, maybe even deeper.
Every minute on my drive home I thought it would go away, but it didn’t.
It tingles, and refuses to go unnoticed. Even now as I sit with Laura in the parking lot outside of a strip mall with a bottle of cabernet half gone and tempting me to take another swig… the ringing doesn’t stop. I’m trapped in the moment when it happened. When the world shifted and made it impossible for me to get away from the giant bell.
The moment Jase kissed me like a lover in front of his brothers.
I’ve heard of Sebastian Black; my sister went to school with him. I’ve heard of the Cross Brothers. I’ve seen Carter from afar at The Red Room once. To be in a room with such men, with intimidating, dangerous men, I couldn’t think or breathe. It was a mix of fear and something else. Something sinful.
Even with them talking, joking, acting as if it was just an ordinary day and ordinary people in an ordinary kitchen, I couldn’t shake all the stories I’d heard of these men.
But then Jase kissed me.
Every part of my body has woken up, and it refuses to let the memory become that, a memory. It’s holding on to it instead, trying to stay there. Going out with Laura has definitely dampened the ringing, but not so much though that I can’t feel it still, even hours later.
“What’s wrong with you? You love this song.” Laura cuts through my hazy thoughts and my gaze moves from the yellow streetlights and lit signs of the chain stores to focus on her instead.
I hadn’t even noticed music was playing.
“Hey,” Laura says and pats my arm as she leans forward with a hint of something devious in her voice. “You know how…” she shifts uneasily and restarts. “You remember how you helped me interview for the position at the center?”
“Of course,” I answer her and wonder where she’s going with this.
“Aiden didn’t like me during the interview.”
I cut her off and say, “He was a grade-A dick for no reason.” I still remember how shocked I was at his unprofessionalism.
“I hit his car a week before,” she blurts out.
“What?”
She can’t stop grinning. “I was so embarrassed. It was a rough day. Like really bad and he backed up out of nowhere in the parking lot and I just tapped him.” Her thumb and her pointer are parallel as she holds them up and whispers, “Just a teeny tap.”
“You hit his car?”
“And then I might have… you know,” she stops and laughs again. “I called him a dickhead when he was yelling at me. Like he was screaming in my face and it wasn’t like it was helping anything and like I said, it was a rough day and I just snapped.” Her shoulders shake with another giggle. “And then I showed up for the interview the next week.”
“Oh my God! And you never told me?” I can’t help laughing either. I can absolutely see Aiden and her screaming at each other in a parking lot over a scratch on a car. They both have a habit of taking out their aggression on the least suspecting.
“I was so embarrassed I couldn’t tell you.”
“Well no wonder he didn’t want to hire you,” I comment.
“I know. I had to go back in and apologize. I’d already sent him insurance information that he didn’t even need, but still. I felt awful. It was so awkward and… unfortunate.”
“But he still hired you,” I say and hold up my finger to make that point clear.
“Because of you. He never would
have if you weren’t there backing me up.”
“Knowing about the car… I’m going to have to agree with you now. I just thought he was an uncalled for asshole at your interview.”
“I never told you and I want to thank you again, Beth. Thank you.”
“Of course, I love you.” I almost add how she was by my side through everything with Jenny before she died, and that getting her a job is insignificant in comparison, but I leave that out. I’m not wanting to drag the mood down.
“I love you too.”
She spears her hand through her golden locks, moving all her hair to her left shoulder and glancing at her split ends. “You’re off, like even more than you have been. And don’t tell me you’re fine,” she says, mocking the words I’ve been giving her all night.
Reaching out for the bottle of wine, she gives me a pointed look. The swish of the liquid is followed by the sound of a car riding down the half-empty lot and I look at it instead of her.
Again not answering her. It’s only about the dozenth time she’s asked me what’s going on.
“A cop came to your house today.” Her voice is clearer and when I look back, this time she isn’t looking at me. I wouldn’t call her expression a frown, it’s something else, something etched with worry.
“When I was waiting for you to get home, which – by the way, where the fuck were you?” She pauses and sucks in a breath before relaxing into the seat and then taking another swig. She offers it back to me and then repeats, “I was waiting and a cop came by. I told him you weren’t home and he said he’d come back later.”
“Officer Walsh?” I question her and she nods, then takes the wine back before I can take another sip.
“I was going to tell you at dinner, but you seem really not with it. So like… I don’t know.”
This time I grab the bottle and take a drink before it’s all gone.
Laura looks at me with a slight pout, although I’m not sure it’s quite that. It’s genuine and sullen, but there’s a sadness I can’t place.
I watch her look out to the shoe store we just left before she exhales with frustration. “You always tell me everything,” she starts. “I know this is hard and you’re not a ‘speak your feelings’ type of girl, which is ironic since you tell everyone else to do just that.”
The wine flows easily until the bottle is empty, but I don’t let it go.
“It just seems like this isn’t mourning, it’s something else and I don’t know what to do or how to help you.”
Laura’s voice cracks as she raises her hands into the air, trying to prove a point but needing to wipe under her eyes instead.
“No, no, don’t cry.” My reaction is instant, reaching out to clutch her shoulder. The leather of her seats groans as I sit up and reposition myself on my knees to face her in the small car. “Everything’s fine,” I tell her but she only shakes her head.
With her eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling of the car, she responds, “It’s not though. You’re not okay.”
“Seriously,” I start to tell her and then catch sight of a car I recognize, and a prick I know too. Seth raises his hands in surrender at the wheel of his car, although his wrists stay planted on it, and my throat tightens. I can’t hold on to my train of thought and I have to sit back in my seat, taking a steadying breath.
Jase sent Seth to follow me.
Maybe I should have guessed it. Maybe I should have known I’d be followed.
It’s a strange thing, to feel safe, to feel wanted and protected by someone I know I fear and hate on a level that’s unattainable to my conscious.
I rest my head against the cold window and close my eyes.
“We were having a good time,” I tell her softly. Feeling the tingle of the bell, and falling back into old habits with Laura, I felt like I escaped for a moment. I’m nothing but foolish.
“Shit, no, don’t you cry too.” Laura presses a hand to her forehead and then over her eyes.
“I swear, I’m fine,” I tell her although I can’t help but to look past her and at Seth instead. “I…” I trail off and have to swallow before I lie again, “It’s just hard to stop thinking about Jenny.”
Fuck, that hurts to say. To use her as an excuse. To bring her up in conversation at all.
“And now we’re both crying,” I tell her with a huff and pull my sweater to the corner of my eyes. “I don’t want to cry. It’s just my eyes glossing over. It’s not crying… I’m not crying.”
“You’re an awful liar.” Laura’s voice is soft and I’m pulled to her, to tell her everything. To lean on her like a friend would do.
How selfish is that?
“Tell me about work. I miss it. What kind of person misses work?”
Laura works in Human Resources at the center, but they get all the gossip just the same as the nurses who do the rounds like me.
“Well there’s a cute guy who came in last week,” she starts to tell me with feigned interest. Then her head falls to the side to look at me as she says, “But his name is Adam and we both know Adams are dicks.”
Her comment forces a small laugh from me and then she reaches for the bottle.
“I don’t know what’s funnier, your taste in men or your pout when the wine’s gone.”
Instead of commenting, she pushes her hair back and tells me about a few new patients, all of which piss her off for good reason. A man who was drunk at the wheel and killed two people. She thinks he’s faking insanity because ever since he was admitted all he can talk about is how totaled his truck is and he hasn’t shown a damn bit of remorse for the couple he killed even though he knows he’s being charged with their murder. We get those kinds of people sometimes. Assholes who fake mental illnesses to get out of legal trouble. Or even to get out of work for a week.
“Oh, I do love this one old woman who came in though. She said it’s actually the 1800s and she’s talking to dead people. I like Sue a lot. She’s so sweet.”
“I wish I were at work.”
“I wish you were too,” she adds and pats my thigh. “You’d love Sue.”
“I’m sure I would.” It’s never a boring day at the Rockford Center. That’s a truth no one can deny.
“I can’t drive us home.” Laura’s statement makes me look at her and then at Seth. “You want to Uber?” she asks me and I shake my head no, getting out without thinking.
“What are you doing?” she calls out as I step out onto the asphalt and make my way to Seth’s car. I ignore her calls for me to get my ass back there. I’d smile at the way she whispers it and tries to keep me from knocking on Seth’s window if it weren’t for the anxiousness creeping up on me from what I’m about to do.
I don’t have to knock though; he rolls down his window but doesn’t say a word.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Laura says and tries to pull me away again. “My friend is a little bit more drunk than I thought.” She tugs at my wrist and again I ignore her efforts.
“Will you give us a ride home?” I push out the question. Seth lets out a smile, a handsome smile with perfect teeth, all the while staring at Laura and her wide eyes.
“We don’t need a ride,” Laura’s quick to tell him. “I’m so sor-”
“I don’t mind,” Seth cuts her off and asks, “Where are you going?” I’m still staring at Laura and the way she’s looking at Seth that I don’t notice he asked me.
“Home,” is all I answer him and he nods once, the playfulness gone from his expression and tells us to get in the back.
I don’t know what came over me or why. Maybe it’s the piece of me that wants Seth to pay for watching me like a hawk. I can’t explain it, but it feels like a step forward. Not the literal step forward I take to get in the back of the car, but a step out of whatever place I was in just hours ago.
Laura snatches me when I open the door, and she immediately slams it shut instead. The thud is loud and nearly violent.
“What the fuck?” she hisses. “Do you even know
him? Do you want to get us killed?”
“Yeah, I’ve met him a couple of times,” I tell her and shrug, feeling like the worst liar in the world. A heavy weight presses against my chest as I escape the harsh wind, opening the door again and scooting over to the other side so Laura will get in too.
She takes a little too long to decide so I tell her, “Hurry up, it’s cold out there and you’re letting all that cold in here!” My admonishment works.
“Let me get my bag.”
As she turns to walk away, Seth asks me all the while watching her, “Whose home?”
Whatever’s settled into my stomach feels thicker. “Can you drop her off first?”
“You think she’d be okay with that?” He finally turns in his seat to look at me. “Because I don’t.”
I watch her texting on her phone a few spaces over with her driver’s door open although she still stands on the street.
“I want to tell her,” I admit to him. “You can stop me if I say something I shouldn’t.”
“You shouldn’t say anything, Bethany.”
“Well, I’m going to say something. I have to tell her.” We both hear her car door shut and he says lowly, “You really shouldn’t.” The way his shoulders tense and he grips the wheel makes my chest feel hollow and I almost reconsider, but I have to tell her something.
She’s my best friend and she deserves to know. I can’t not tell her. I can’t let her cry for me like she’s doing.
Her car beeps from the alarm and then she’s seated beside me, thanking Seth and referring to him as the “handsome savior” of our night although I can still hear the hesitation and worry in her tone.
She gives Seth a tight smile and then he asks again, “Where are you guys headed?”
“Can you take me to Jase’s?” I dare to ask Seth, knowing Laura’s going to ask me about Jase, paving the way for it to happen.
Seth’s returning smile is tight, but he nods.
“Who’s Jase?”
Ignoring Laura’s question and her stare of confusion, I ask Seth, “Can you take Laura home first?”
