by Chris Taylor
Jared scribbled some more notes and then looked up at her. “That’s good, Maureen. That’s really good. I really appreciate everything you’ve done. Thanks for coming in. You’ve been a real help.”
She acknowledged his comments with a nod. “That’s all right, Detective. It was worth coming in from Mount Druitt to meet you. Are you married?”
He smiled. “No, Maureen, I’m not married.”
“Seeing anyone?”
“No, but you are. Paulie, remember? Your boyfriend?”
She grimaced. “Yeah, Paulie. My boyfriend.”
Jared felt a surge of sympathy. She was a rough diamond and he was sure she had a heart of gold. He hadn’t been lying when he told her how grateful he was that she’d come forward. He only hoped that the information she’d given him would bear fruit.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Dear Diary,
I find the daily news so interesting. There’s always something terrible happening in the world. A war, an earthquake, an act of terrorism. The news reader is always so serious and solemn, and rightly so. There’s so much to be afraid of, so much that can go wrong. It’s a wonder any of us sleep well at night, knowing what might lie ahead. Me, I sleep like the dead.
* * *
Shelby let herself into the house she shared with her siblings. Tossing her keys and handbag on the table in the hall, she called out as she made her way further into the house.
“Hello, family. Is anyone home?” She was met with silence.
It was hardly surprising. It was only four-thirty in the afternoon. She’d come straight from work after her shift. Over the past month, she’d been spending so much time at Samuel’s house, she needed a fresh supply of clothes. She hadn’t quite got to the point where she’d throw in a load of washing in the condo on the beach. It seemed too presumptuous, too intimate—which was plain silly, considering everything else they’d done.
Heading into the living room, she came to a halt. Dimitri was sprawled out asleep on the couch. The TV was on with the sound muted. He was dressed in one of his expensive suits, including his jacket and tie. Concerned for his wellbeing, she rushed forward.
“Dimi! Can you hear me? Are you all right?” Taking hold of his lapels, she gave him a shake. He came awake slowly and stared at her through bleary eyes. She swallowed her surprise.
“Dimitri! Are you okay? What are you doing here?”
He blinked a few times and his eyes slowly focused. He squinted up at her. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d moved out.”
She flushed and poked out her tongue. Okay, so she’d been spending a lot of nights with Samuel. That didn’t mean she’d left the home she shared with her siblings. Pushing his legs out of the way, she took a seat beside him on the couch.
“This isn’t about me, Dimi. I’m not the one behaving strangely. I’m usually home at this time of day. You’re not. And you look like you’ve pulled an all-nighter. What’s going on?”
Her brother sighed and sank back against the couch, his head lolling on the headrest. Another surge of alarm went through Shelby. This was so unlike him. He was usually so focused, especially during the week. Normally he’d be at his office, grinding out affidavits. What was going on? She put the question to him again.
He looked at her and the sadness and resignation on his face startled her. “Dimi, talk to me. Please.”
“I can’t do it anymore, Shelby. I can’t keep on living a lie. It’s killing me.”
Comprehension dawned and she drew in a deep breath and then blew it out slowly on a sigh. “Okay, I get that. Have you talked to anyone about it? Apart from me?”
“Like who? A shrink?”
“Yes, or maybe a good friend. Someone who’d understand.”
He sighed again and shook his head. “No. What would I say? Nobody knows I’ve been hiding that I’m gay. My mates keep setting me up on blind dates, Dad keeps pushing me toward marriage. It’s driving me insane, Shelby, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
At the mention of their father, Shelby paused. Should she tell Dimitri about her discovery? She’d promised her mom and dad she’d stay silent; that the best way forward was to keep the secret that had been protected for so many years. Her promise hadn’t been given in response to any loyalty to her parents, it was more the urge to protect the rest of her siblings from the shock and disillusionment she and Athena had suffered.
No, Dimitri was struggling enough. She wouldn’t add to his pain by revealing something so shocking. He might never get over it. She’d never look at her parents the same way again. It wasn’t fair to drag the rest of the family into this. She touched his arm.
“Dimi, have you talked to Daddy about it? He might understand more than you think.”
Dimitri turned to her with a look of disbelief. “You’re kidding? After everything I’ve told you about him. It’s like a broken record, Shelby. You have no idea. He comes into my office on the pretense of seeking my advice, or clarification on a case and within moments, the conversation is steered toward his need for grandchildren and seeing the Gianopoulos family name continue down the line.
“It’s got to the point that I shut the door to my office and pretend I’m seeing clients. I used to love my job. These days I can barely stand to go in there, knowing sooner or later throughout the day, Dad will appear with another less-than-subtle reminder that I’m letting the family down.”
Shelby reached for his hand and squeezed it in wordless comfort. “Well, if you can’t talk to Daddy, what about Momma? She doesn’t feel quite so strongly about you getting married and carrying on the family name and she’s your mother. She loves you.” Shelby thought about the secret her mom had endured for so many years and then added, “She’s been through a lot in her time. She might just understand. It’s worth giving it a go, don’t you think?”
Dimitri frowned. “Tell Mom? What makes you think Mom would understand? She’s lived a sheltered life. Dad’s protected her from the worst society has to offer. She probably doesn’t even know gays are normal people, like everyone else. I’d disgust and horrify her if I told her.”
Shelby opened her mouth to protest and then closed it again. If she didn’t want to raise Dimitri’s suspicions or his hopes, she had to choose her words with care.
“Remember the part about the fact she’s your mother?” she said gently. “Momma will love you, no matter what. And you don’t give her enough credit. She knows more about the world than you think. She might have spent most of her life cooking and keeping house, but she’s not stupid. She watches the news and reads the papers and checks out the gossip mags. I think you’d be surprised by how worldly our mother is.”
Dimitri stared at her, a mixture of hope and terror on his face. “Do you think so? Do you think she’d understand?”
Shelby shrugged. “I’m not saying she wouldn’t be shocked and maybe a little bit sad, but she loves you, Dimi. This secret inside you is eating you up. You can’t go on like this. Tell Momma, get it out there and the rest will take care of itself.”
“And what if it doesn’t?” Dimitri whispered, his expression tortured.
“I can’t promise anything, Dimi. I wish I could. But life doesn’t come with guarantees. I guess that’s part of the fun. We never quite know how things will turn out, but sometimes, we need to be prepared and take the risk. Without risk, there’s no gain.”
She took both of his hands in hers and squeezed them hard. “What do you have to lose? You’re miserable like this. Who knows? Come out to Momma and the rest of the family and things might be better than you imagined.”
“Then again, they might not,” Dimitri added sadly.
“True, but like I said, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You’ve already said you can’t live like this. The way I see, it, you don’t have much choice.”
A tiny smile of relief and gratitude made its way into her brother’s eyes. “When did you get to be so wise?” he asked.
She grinned. “There’s
a lot about me you don’t know.”
His smile widened. “Really? Like what?”
Shelby pretended to think. She put a finger to her lips. “Like, I think I’m in love with Samuel.”
Dimitri rolled his eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Really?” she asked, surprised.
“Of course. It’s as plain as the nose on your face. Every time you mention his name, your face lights up. It’s like those corny chick flicks, only in your case it’s real.”
Heat crept up her face and she lowered her gaze. It was nice to have validation from her big brother.
“When are you moving in with him?” Dimitri’s question broke into her thoughts. She frowned.
“What makes you think I’m going to move in with him?”
Once again, her brother gave her an eye roll. “He loves you and you love him. Besides, you spend nearly all your spare time there. Wouldn’t it be easier?”
Shelby shook her head. “I don’t want to move in with him until we’re married.”
Dimitri laughed. “Really? That’s a bit old-fashioned.”
“I guess in most peoples’ eyes it is and no doubt it’s totally uncool, but that’s the way I am. Besides, what’s the hurry? I’m sure Aunty Maria, Aunty Sophia and Aunty Irene think I should be making a beeline for the church and even Uncle Theo might think so, but for me, finding a life partner isn’t all about a headlong dash to the altar.
“I might have wanted a date for Elena’s wedding in order to stave off the usual barrage of sympathetic platitudes and sorrowful looks, but that doesn’t mean I’m in a hurry to settle down. I want to be courted like in the old days; to be picked up from work; to go on dates. I want to have fun times as boyfriend and girlfriend. What’s wrong with that?”
Dimitri laughed outright. “Boyfriend and girlfriend? You’re kidding me. You’re twenty-seven, Shelby. No one your age uses those terms anymore.”
She shot him a look of pure stubbornness. “Why not? Why don’t we use those terms anymore? Why do we have to be someone’s partner? Why have the words boyfriend and girlfriend gone out of style?”
“It’s because people used to get married a lot younger. It’s fine to have a boyfriend or girlfriend if you’re like nineteen or twenty. Once you get past a certain age, those terms sound weird.”
“So I’m supposed to be someone’s partner or spouse. Is that what you’re saying? Are they the only choices left?”
“Yeah, I guess so. What are you getting so worked up about? They’re only words.”
“No, Dimitri,” she argued, wanting him to understand. “They’re not just words. They represent so much more. To me, the word “partner” means something less than full commitment—like if you knew you were going to love each other until the day you died, you’d be willing to get married and then they’d be your spouse.”
She shook her head slowly. “When did living together before marriage or even without marriage in the cards, become so acceptable? How did that come about? It’s almost like marriage is an afterthought these days, and in many cases, not even that. It’s taken so much of the magic out of it, out of forging a life together. It’s like marriage is completely out of vogue and that’s so sad.”
Dimitri regarded her thoughtfully. “Yeah, sis, I think you’re right. I’m not sure how it happened, but for a lot of people, marriage doesn’t rate and it’s not just people like me, gay men who can’t legally marry here. There are a lot of people foregoing the bindings of marriage.”
He shrugged. “Is it a good thing, or bad? I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Wish I had a snapshot of society in fifty years to see where we’ll end up.”
Shelby fell back against the couch and sighed. “It’s a sad state of affairs, Dimi. To me, marriage represents a public declaration, a vow of lifelong love and commitment, stability, security, safety, being with someone who always has your back. There’s something special and incredibly uplifting about knowing someone who was once a stranger has chosen you to be with them for the rest of their life.”
Dimitri reached across and chucked her gently under the chin. “You watch too many movies, Shelby. Real life isn’t like that. There are no fairytale endings.”
Shelby looked at him. “I’m sad you’re so disillusioned, big brother. You’re way too young for that.”
“I am what I am.” He shrugged. The smile failed to reach his eyes.
She smiled despondently back at him. “Ain’t that the truth.”
* * *
Alexei twisted the thick gold band around his finger and frowned. It felt so foreign and unfamiliar. He wished he had the courage to leave it at home. He’d found it in his den, lying on the pillow. Immediately, he thought of Rodriguez and cursed the fact he hadn’t insisted the man turn in his key to the side door that led to the basement. He’d have to change the locks.
He hadn’t heard from his ex-lover for more than a fortnight until now. The ring was just the start of it. Rodriguez had sent him a text only that morning and said he was on his way into the city to see him. Alexei couldn’t hold back a groan of disbelief. In all the months they’d seen each other, Rodriguez had never approached him at work. They’d had an unspoken agreement that their relationship would stay confined to crowded gay bars on the darker side of town and to the warm delights that awaited them in the basement. Rodriguez understood that and had abided faithfully by the rules. Until now.
Alexei sighed. He twisted the ring again and not for the first time wondered if he’d done the right thing. He missed Rodriguez dreadfully. The sight of the ring on his pillow had filled him with so much joy, he’d had to blink back tears. Perhaps they could make it work, after all? Perhaps he could persuade his Latin lover that any relationship between them was better than no relationship at all? Would Rodriguez be willing to take up where they’d left off, secrecy and all? Alexei could only live in hope.
* * *
Shelby strode across the polished marble flooring that spanned the wide entryway to her father’s offices. Nerves jangled in her belly at the thought of what she was going to do. She had no intention of breaking Dimitri’s confidence, but neither could she sit back and watch him fall into a depression so deep he might never climb out of it.
Pressing the button at the bank of elevators that would take her up to the fifteenth floor, she waited impatiently. At last, the elevator dinged and the stainless steel doors slid open. Stepping around a departing occupant, she strode inside and hit the button for level fifteen. Like the last time, she hadn’t called ahead. She didn’t want to give her father a reason not to see her. She only hoped he wasn’t in court or with clients, or had some other legitimate excuse.
“Shelby! How are you today? I wasn’t expecting to see you again quite so soon.”
Shelby smiled at her father’s secretary. “Hi, Jennifer. I’m fine. Is my father in?”
“Yes, he is. I’ll just let him know you’re here. Is he expecting you?”
“No, but I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me.”
The secretary turned away and picked up the receiver of the telephone that sat on her polished wood-and-glass desk. The firm’s name of Harton & Wentworth was carved into the front.
“He asked me to send you in,” Jennifer murmured and pushed away from her chair. Coming around to where Shelby stood, the woman walked down a corridor and came to a halt outside her father’s office. With a gentle knock on the door, she opened it and indicated for Shelby to enter. Murmuring her thanks, Shelby stepped inside.
“Hi, Daddy. How are you doing?”
Her dad shot her a look of wariness mixed with surprise. “Shelby! What are you doing here? I thought we’d said all we needed to say.”
“You’re right, Daddy and I promise I won’t ever talk about that again. That’s not the reason I’m here.” She paused and gathered her courage. “It’s about Dimitri.”
Her father frowned. “Where is he? The girls in his office told me he left hours ago. It’s barely five
-thirty. He’ll never make partner that way. Who does he think he is?”
“Calm down, Daddy. It’s not like that. Dimitri has always loved working here and he has no intention of shirking his responsibilities to the firm. It’s just that, right now, he doesn’t feel like he has a choice.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Shelby? You’re not making sense.”
Holding onto her courage, she drew in a deep breath and took a seat in the high-backed leather chair that stood opposite her father’s desk. She eyed him steadily.
“It’s like this, Daddy. Dimitri talked to me about…some things he’s concerned about. Important things. Things that are affecting his ability to work, and more. I’m not going to break his confidence. He doesn’t even know I’m here, but you need to talk to him, or at least, lay off him about getting married.”
Her father’s frown deepened and his tone remained abrupt. “What are you talking about?”
“He told me you’re on his back all the time about finding a girl and settling down. He’s had enough of it and to tell you the truth, Daddy, I’m not sure that he’ll ever be ready for that.”
There, she’d said it. Kind of.
Her father moved closer until he stood towering over her. His expression was fierce. She imagined it was his courtroom face, when he was staring down an adversary. The image wasn’t comforting.
“What are you saying, Shelby? For God’s sake, just spit it out.”
“Nothing, Daddy. I’ve probably said too much already.” She pushed back her chair and stood and moved a little further away before turning back to face him. “Just do me a favor; talk to him. Okay?”
For the longest time, her father didn’t answer. When he finally did, his tone was much more amenable and she couldn’t prevent a sigh of relief.
“Okay. I’ll talk to him. I want to find out what’s going on. His billable hours have been down for months and sinking faster than the Titanic. Some of the partners are asking questions, wondering if he’s their guy. He needs to sort out whatever shit’s going through his brain and focus on his work if he’s to have any chance of a partnership.”
