I watched her a moment and then said, "Vera, I really hope you understand how grateful I am. For everything you've done. We wouldn't be here without your help. And I know you've come even farther than you said you would, and—" Suddenly I felt the need to address everything between us, especially the elephant in the room, named Alex. "I also wanted to talk to you about…" I floundered, searching for the right words. How did I say this without sounding ridiculously juvenile? Hi, I'm sorry I stole your boyfriend. See? Juvenile.
"Please, don't get sentimental with me, princess." Vera unfolded her arms and leaned back on her hands, stretching her long legs before her. "I don't do well with feelings." Her face was pinched in a scowl.
"I know, but please hear me out just this once. I…" And then I plowed right on ahead. "I know that I showed up in this world abruptly. Believe me: I wish things had been different and that my father had brought me here when I was much younger so that I wouldn't feel so…so lost all the time. And maybe if that had happened, I never would have known Alex. Not as I know him now, because if I'd been here as I should have been, I never would have been allowed to know him like I do." I hesitated. "What I mean to say is that I realize my showing up has been highly inconvenient for, well, everyone, and if there was"—here it goes—"something between the two of you, I didn't mean…and I'm sorry, I just…"
"Oh, shut up already." She rolled her eyes.
Well, she'd warned me. Actually, I was a little surprised she'd let me go on as long as she had.
She sat there, glaring at the fire while rocking her feet back and forth like she was trying to give herself something to do other than face my words. The silence stretched so long that I thought, perhaps, she was going to ignore everything I'd said. But then she suddenly said, "I hated you. I hated the very sound of your name and I prayed the spirits would kill you in your sleep."
Not exactly the kind of response I'd had in mind, but at least she was talking to me about it…?
She laced her fingers together. "The day I arrived at the Academia was a very difficult day for me. My English was embarrassing and I knew no one. Most students at the Academia come from privilege and aren't used to extending manners to foreigners." Her eyes narrowed. "Denn was assigned to my care."
I cringed. And then I suddenly realized why Denn had been allowed to attend. His father might not have been privileged, but his uncle, Sir Randik, absolutely was. "He didn't try…" I couldn't even finish my thought.
She shook her head. "No, no. He was still an idiot, but it was controlled idiocy then because he still had a few years to graduate. He was on his very best behavior—for Denn. Which means he said a lot of terrible things. Of course, I didn't understand them at the time because I didn't know the Saqai equivalent. I didn't know what he was saying to me until Alexander overheard him.
"Alexander walked right up to him and grabbed him by the collar and yelled in his face, though I can't remember exactly what was said. Later, I asked Alexander to tell me what it meant, but he wouldn't. No, actually it was Thaddeus who took the liberty of explaining it to me later that afternoon. The next time I found Denn alone, I gave him two black eyes for it."
My spirits rose at the mental image of Denn as an oversized blueberry.
"Alexander always made me feel…" Vera paused for the right words. "At home there. Of course like any besotted idiot, I thought, or hoped that maybe he…." She chewed on her bottom lip. "But I quickly realized he didn't. He was friendly—yes—but not any friendlier than he was with, say, Thaddeus. Or Brant. Or Phin. The others would always tease him about this girl or that girl because all the girls were in love with Alexander, but he would never do anything about it. I wondered why he wouldn't even entertain the idea. I wondered why he would conveniently disappear every time the boys would keep drinking and the girls would come around.
"And then I overheard a conversation he had with Prince Stefan," she said. "He didn't know I was standing there, but I heard the name Daria. Naturally, I was curious. Alexander never talked about girls. I wanted you to be a sister. But no. No one would ever speak of a sister the way he spoke of you." She squinted at the fire, sat up and folded her fingers around one knee. "I could hear his love for you in every single word. That was the first moment I hated you."
The first? I wondered what the second was.
"I was jealous," she admitted flatly and without expression. "A man like Alexander, so highly respected and admired and feared throughout the kingdom, would choose to love you as deeply as he did, and you didn't have any idea. I thought you had to be the biggest idiot in the history of the worlds."
I inhaled slowly. "You have no idea how many times I've said those exact same words to myself."
She studied me, her expression neutral. "I have gotten over it, princess. Yes, I hated that you had everything: all the wealth and power in the world, and a father and brother who loved you, and the whole heart of one of the last respectable men in this realm. But I didn't hate you for Alexander's choosing you. I hated that you had everything, and you had no idea it was in your hands."
I took a very slow and deep breath as a breeze slipped into the cave and through my hair. She was right in more ways than even she realized. "Why are you helping me?" I asked.
She hesitated like she wasn't quite sure if she even knew the answer to that. "Because…I do not think so anymore. You may not understand a lot of things, but you are loyal. Fiercely so, and you fight for what is good and honest and true. That makes it so irritatingly impossible to keep hating you."
I sighed. "Even when everything I fight for puts everyone around me in danger?"
"There will always be danger, princess. Anything worth fighting for will be met with adversity."
I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I just wish the stakes weren't so high."
She didn't have a comment for this.
"Vera…why did you leave Gesh in the first place? Does it have to do with Hawk?"
She blinked and looked up at me, and I knew I'd overstepped my boundary.
"I'm sorry," I backpedaled, searching her eyes. "It's none of my business. It's just that Gesh is so beautiful and your mother is there—"
"My mother?" Vera pulled back even farther, completely nonplussed.
Now I was confused, too. "I thought that…isn't Mercedes your—"
"Mercedes is not my mother." Vera's expression bore a combination of surprise, pain, and disgust.
"Oh," I said quietly. "I just assumed she was." Then who was her real family?
Vera stood and jerked down her leathers like she was angry with them for hanging there. "My mother is dead," she said without looking at me. "She and my father were both killed in service to Mercedes. I was thirteen."
I touched my fingers to my lips. I wanted to say something to her, but words escaped me.
"Mercedes took me under her care to honor my parents. And when I refused to marry her nephew, Sal Amorentis," she spat his name, "she sent me to the Academia, hoping to instill manners and a sense of humility." She said those last words in a slightly different tone, as if feeling the need to repeat them in the way they'd been originally spoken to her. And then she started tugging on her top.
There was no way her leathers could be dry already.
Vera looked extremely uncomfortable, and I could tell she hadn't intended to reveal so much about herself. She paused, removed her top and held it before her, touched a few places over it, and then she repeated this with her pants and boots. Energy pulsed from her fingertips with each touch, and then she stiffly tugged her leathers back on.
"Well, it didn't work," I said with a slight smile, trying to reel her back.
She was brushing her hair back when I said this, but stopped to look at me. Her rigidity suddenly lost its edge.
"Her sending you to the Academia," I continued. "You still have no sense of humility."
Vera blinked and then she chuckled. And then I found myself chuckling, too, and soon the two of us were giggling uncont
rollably like a pair of little girls, our laughter irrationally spurred on further by the trying events we'd experienced as of late. But it felt so good to laugh despite it all.
At last, the frivolity ended. "I'll take first watch," Vera said.
"Vera," I said at her back.
She paused.
"Thank you for that," I said. "I don’t have many friends here, and even though you may not consider me one, I consider you one of mine."
She didn't say another word, but I was okay with that.
Chapter 17
Pendel
The tide never came into our cave, thank the spirits, nor did any more of those skeletons from Hell. Alex continued to sleep heavily. As the night progressed, the color returned to his coppery skin and his breathing grew calm and easy. I checked on him more often than was probably necessary, but I couldn't seem to relax. I couldn't bear to let him out of my sight; I had been that close to losing him forever.
At some point in the night, I covered his lower half with the dry venita cloak, careful to keep my eyes fastened on his perfectly chiseled upper body. This was about the same time I dressed, too, though my leathers were still damp and stiff. I didn't know how to do that little trick Vera had done, but by that point I just wanted something to protect my bare skin from the cold night breeze, even if that protection was slightly wet.
I remembered the map we'd packed and pulled it out to look over the island of Pendel. Up until this point, we hadn't had much use for it, but now that we were here—an island none of us had ever been to—I thought it might be a good idea to familiarize myself with the terrain. The city of Karth, our intended destination, had been claimed by a black star at the foot of the Way of Kings, a rather jagged looking mountain range that resembled razor-sharp teeth more than mountains. I brought the map to Vera, and, after much deliberation and examination of the stars, we deduced we'd landed on the southern shores, precisely forty-five miles away from Karth. Not nearly as close as I'd hoped. From here, forty-five miles meant two full days of walking.
However, according to the map, there was a small town called Nyhavn along the way, situated about fifteen miles north of our current location. The town was nestled along a delta and looked to be the island's only inland sea port. It would be a good place to stop and get provisions to remediate our nutritional losses. Our late night swim had ruined what little food Alex and I had packed, and though I was reluctant to stop in Nyhavn on the chance we were spotted and recognized, I also knew we wouldn't make it two full days without more food and water. In addition to that, maybe we could get a few horses. That would definitely help the issue of time, plus I didn't like the idea of crossing so much open terrain on foot. Particularly after our fight with the dead.
When I mentioned as much to Vera, she agreed, though we both suspected convincing Alex might be the tricky part. He'd want to circumnavigate any and all civilization, considering the appalling frequency of our betrayals, but for aforementioned reasons, I thought it worth the risk.
The night softened into dawn and Alex slept on. I considered waking him, but then ultimately decided to let him rest. I even dozed off myself in the early morning, because daylight gives one a sense of safety that night steals away. It was almost midday when I remembered to write Tran. Alex was still sleeping soundly and Vera said she was going to sit on the beach for a while. Thus left to myself, I opened Tran's bindingbook and was pleasantly surprised to find that Fleck had already written. The note had been dated a few days prior.
Dear Lady,
I miss you so much! Tran and I are at Indanna's Keep with all the other Dalorens. You wouldn't believe this place, lady! The Keep is just like the tower we read about in Arborennian Nights, with the maze of hallways and candles everywhere. Though they should've mentioned in the book how hard it is to breathe with this much candle smoke. I can't seem to stop sneezing.
I've been given my own chambers, too, with my own bed and closet and bookshelf. I've never read any of these books before. I don't think the castle had them in the library. I wish I could show them to you so we could read them together.
Kirkis is the head Daloren, and he has been asking me all sorts of questions about my past. He says he will help me with my magic in a few days, after they finish preparing my oath ceremony. They're still discussing how to have me take an oath when I have no real name to swear by.
Grool isn't fitting in very well. He keeps drinking all the spirits meant for my oath ceremony, and when Beva, one of the apprentices, told him to stop, Grool hit her with a candlestick. Beva has a pretty ugly bruise on her hand and all of her spells have been misfiring.
Write when you can. I know you are busy, but I miss you and want to hear all about your adventures. Just make sure you leave out the romantic parts.
I keep your rook in my pocket.
~Fleck
P.S. Tran wanted me to tell you to find the wizard in Karth, because he will be able to point you in the right direction. And he says to hurry because you are running out of time. Oh, and he says to be careful because Pendel isn't safe for you. And…
A note from Tran followed.
Princess Daria,
You are in great danger. Find Arioch Prime. And you'll need this.
There was a drawing of a multi-faceted stone.
~Tran
Both notes struck me in a myriad of ways for various reasons, but more than anything, I couldn't figure out why in the world Tran thought a drawing of a stone might help me. And why the sudden caution? Hadn't he encouraged us to go to Karth in the first place? And was me being in danger really anything new? Or did he somehow know about Zombie Hulk?
These were the things running through my mind when fingers brushed my elbow. I was so startled I slammed the book shut and twisted around, nearly elbowing Alex in the face.
"Alex!" I said. "You're awake!"
He made a little grunting sound in the back of his throat, then slowly started to push himself up so that he could sit. His movements were stiff and unsteady, and I reached out to help him, but he shook his head.
"How do you feel?" I studied him. There was still a little bit of salt residue clinging to his lashes and sprinkled on his lips.
He finally managed to sit up, though he leaned back on his hands with his legs stretched out behind me. "I feel surprisingly well. And…naked." He glanced up at me. Even though he had just woken, his deep green eyes were clear and intense as he studied me.
My cheeks warmed. "I guess we're even now." I grinned. He had, after all, undressed me in my state of unconsciousness when I'd fallen into an ice-cold pond during the festival games. However, his expression turned accusatory, and I added, "I didn't have a choice, Alex. You were soaked to the bone with ice water. I promise I didn't look."
He smiled at me in a way that said he didn't believe me one bit.
My cheeks grew hotter and I punched him lightly in the shoulder.
He feinted pain. "After everything I've just gone through for you, I can't believe you would hit me."
I snorted a laugh. "Here, drink this." I handed him my canteen. I'd saved what little water we'd had left, because I knew he would be parched after drinking that much saltwater. Still smiling, he took it and downed it in one gulp.
"Thanks." He smacked his lips and handed me back my canteen. "That helps."
"You don't feel any pain or anything?" I asked, setting my canteen aside.
"Aside from my shoulder?"
I rolled my eyes.
He chuckled and shook his head a fraction. "Nothing."
I held my hands out toward him. "Do you mind if I check for myself?"
His expression grew slightly bemused. "Go right ahead."
I moved so that I could sit on my heels and placed a hand on his shoulder. His skin was warm and smooth beneath my palm. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply, and with my next exhale, I pushed my breath through my limbs and let it slip beyond my fingertips. I met resistance at first, but then I pushed a little bit harder and my senses
broke through, like pushing a needle through taut fabric. Then my senses swept through his body uninhibited. The poison was still gone and warmth pulsed through him—a warmth that had steadily been growing stronger ever since I'd healed him. And now his body practically hummed with energy. Satisfied, I let my senses retreat from him, pulled back my hand, and opened my eyes.
Alex's green eyes were locked on my face. He raised a salted brow and a light smile touched his lips. "Satisfied?"
"Absolutely," I said, folding my hands together and putting them in my lap. "The poison is gone and your energy seems to have returned to normal."
His gaze flickered over my face as if he were trying to make sense of its arrangement. "What kind of a creature are you?"
I smiled broadly at him, grabbed one of his hands, and placed it between both of my palms. "The kind that's been worried sick about you, Alex. I thought…" I sighed. "I thought I'd lost you."
He let one breath pass and then he reached out with his free hand and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "And you should have. The dragon's bane should have killed me hours ago. I'm not even sure my mother would have been able to heal a wound like that."
"How did you know what kind of poison it was?" I asked.
He pulled his hand from mine and sat up straight, loosely crossing his arms over his waist. His eyes fixed on a point in front of him as his brow knit together. "I heard everything, Daria. I knew what was happening, but I couldn't…I couldn't move." He raked a hand through his hair, or at least he tried to. His fingers got stuck in salted clumps, so instead he rubbed his head, sending a fine shower of salt upon his bare shoulders and torso. "It was the worst kind of nightmare. To know what was happening around me—to know what was happening to you—and not be able to do anything."
"You heard what Eris said, then," I whispered.
He nodded, his expression solemn.
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