Reaching Out For You (Never Letting Go)

by S. Moose

  “ADAM!” I wake up and am frantic. Adam comes bursting through the door and runs to me. He takes me in his arms and tells me everything is ok. “Adam, he is in my dreams now!” I sob into his shoulder. “Why can’t he leave me alone? Why!”

  “Baby it is ok. Shhhh.” He holds me tight and I calm down a little. This isn’t going to be easy but as long as I have Adam, I will be safe.

  Chapter 13

  I’m dying in my bed. I’ve been up all night and morning throwing up and sweating. I hardly get sick but when I do, it is like World War III in my body. Erin came by earlier to bring me soup and to check on me, but even the smell of chicken noodle soup makes my stomach jump and does flips. I’m miserable. I feel so weak. I slowly start to fall asleep when I hear someone coming in the room. Adam comes in and sits on the bed. I see my favorite flowers, lilies, in his hands. “Adam?”

  “Hey baby, how are you feeling?” He kisses me on the forehead and pushes my hair out of my eyes. “I hope these flowers make you feel better. I didn’t bring you food, since I know you aren’t up for eating yet.”

  “Adam, you don’t have to do this, I’m fine.” He gets up to put down his messenger bag and places the flowers on the dresser. I slowly sit up on the bed. “Don’t you have practice?”

  “I quit the team.” Adam leaves the room and when he comes back he is holding a vase with water.

  “WHAT? WHY!” I can’t believe he did that. Basketball is his life. I don’t know why he would throw it all away.

  “Whoa, chill out speedy.”

  “Well aren’t you going to answer me?”

  He takes out his laptop and some folders and gets comfortable on the floor in the work space he has made. He eyes the picture of us at the beach that I have on my nightstand and smiles, “That was a great day. I think I wanted to tell you I love you, but for some reason I didn’t.”

  “That was a good day.” I pull the covers over my body and lay on my side, “So why’d you quit?” I wonder why he is not sitting on the bed with me but remember how sick I am.

  “Personal reasons, plus seeing Kyle and knowing what he did to you doesn’t sit well with me. Baby you need to get a restraining order or something.” Things have been shaky since the incident with Kyle in the library. I know everyone is trying to protect me, but, I hate that I’m making people worry.

  “It is a piece of paper.” I roll over on my back and sigh. “It won’t do any good, Adam.” Feeling a little dizzy, I sit back up and look at Adam. He looks amazingly beautiful. His dark hair is in a messy do and he is wearing a green sweater with dark jeans. I start imagining him without any clothes on and stroking his rock hard abs and kissing him. I just want to straddle him and make him mine. I need to stop I think to myself. “Adam if you have to work to do, don’t let me keep you.”

  “Pretty girl, stop, it is my choice to be here so why don’t you let me take care of you and stop being so stubborn.”

  Suddenly my stomach starts grumbling, “Oh no!” I push the covers off and sprint to the bathroom. I start dry heaving since there wasn’t anything in me to throw up. I feel gross. I hear footsteps coming close, “Go away Adam. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

  He starts to pull my hair back and rub my back, “Soph...Um…Are you pregnant?” I hear how soft his voice is and almost freak out on him. Why would he think I’m pregnant? Ugh!

  “What?” I start gagging again. “Ha, you’re funny and no! I still the big V thing going on.” Oh God I can’t believe I said that out loud! I start mentally hitting myself. This was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

  “Oh.”

  “Why are you asking anyway?” I take a nearby towel and wipe off the sweat off my face.

  “Well I mean you’re throwing up and you were with Kyle.” His voice sounds so hurt and nervous.

  “Trust me, I am not pregnant.” Thank goodness I never slept with him. The thought of being intimate with Kyle makes me sick. I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that he changed so much.

  I get up from the bathroom floor and Adam has his arm around my waist to help me up. I lean against his chest and feel his heart beating. “Thanks for taking care of me,” I whisper. He strokes my back and his touch makes me feel better. I squirm out of his arms and go to the bathroom sink to splash water on my face. The cold water feels nice. I take in some deep breaths and make sure I don’t have to throw up again before leaving the bathroom. I head back to bed and lay down. My whole body is burning up and I start to shiver. Adam comes to the bed and sits down next to me. He pulls the blanket over me and sits on the edge of the bed, “I like taking care of you baby.”

  I smile, “Even though I look like shit?”

  “Pretty girl, you look beautiful.” He leans in to kiss my forehead. “Go to sleep sweetheart. If you need me I’ll be right over here.”

  Sleep sounds amazing right now. My eyes start to close and my mind starts wandering. I think about my life before Adam coming back and how it is now. I really don’t want to push him away or not make him feel needed. I’m learning how to let him in and be better around him but it is still hard. A part of me is scared that he is going to leave like before. Even though he tells me all the time he is not going anywhere. I try and find the confidence I need to make us work. I am trying and I hope he notices.

  I haven’t had a dream about Kyle for the past few weeks. It is as though when Adam is around, things are great. I can sleep better with him. He is the last thing I see and the first thing I see every day. Nothing will get in the way of our happiness, not even Kyle.

  I open my eyes and notice its night. I’m feeling a little better. I slowly get up and watch Adam work. I want to go up to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I can sit here for hours just watching him. I love watching the crinkles in his forehead when he is confused or that ‘aha’ expression when he has figured out the problem. The dimples in his smile are genuine and oh so sexy. “What are working on?” He cocks his head slightly, looking at me with such desire. I’m wondering why he is looking at me like that. I look down and notice my tank stop was slightly down revealing my black lace bra. I quickly pull up my tank and look away.

  “Um, I’m sorry.” He stares at his computer again but I can see a small smile on his face. “Just some reports.”

  I quietly laugh to myself. “Sounds like fun. Need help?”

  “Sure actually,” He turns around and faces me with his laptop on his lap. “Alright so we’re trying to launch a new product which will allow people to press an alert button on their bracelet which will send the signal right to the proper authorities. The thing is, the company I’m working for doesn’t deal with health and wellness and I’m not sure how they’ll take it.”

  The crinkles in his forehead start to show and I can see the dark circle underneath his eyes. “Well what do you have so far?”

  He clicks around looking for the file I’m assuming. “I found some stats on people over 50 who have to go to the hospital and why. Then I compared those stats to those who live on their own. The numbers are interesting but like I said, the company is solely based on one thing but I think expanding it will bring in more profit.”

  I see the information start rolling in his mind. “Well use those stats in the presentation but present it in a way that will touch their lives. Make it personal. You have to prove to them that they need this product to better the lives of society.”

  “Hmm…good approach,” I feel his gaze on me, and I start to feel shy. Adam is usually the smart one when it comes to anything that deals with business. I don’t want to give him the wrong answer and say something dumb. I start feeling regret that I asked him about what he is working on. I look at him and see that he is still waiting for an answer. “What about art?” I softly say.

  “I wouldn’t primarily focus on that but more of a video to show what could happen and how this product will benefit your clients and company. I would do a price analysis and show them the growth. Thanks swee
theart. I like that you’re interested with my work.” He turns back to his computer and starts working.

  It feels good that he can listen to my opinion and thoughts. I get up from the bed and give him a kiss on his head. “I’m going to grab something to drink. Want anything?”

  “Just water, thanks baby.” I give him another kiss on the head and walk to the kitchen. Everyone is gone and it is just Adam and me. I think about doing dirty things to him and having him have his way with me on the island. I stand there for a moment and imagine his lips all over me and his hands touching me. I feel myself getting hot and wet between my thighs. I want him bad, but not when I look like snot nose the ugly beast.

  I go back to the room but stop when I hear Adam’s voice.

  “Listen, do something to make this right. I need her safe, do you understand me?” There was a pause as he listens to what the other person is telling him. “I don’t care what it costs but she is to have protection 24/7, do you understand me? Fine just get it done.”

  Adam lets out a sigh and puts his hands to his face. I wonder what that is all about. Whom was he keeping safe and why is it bothering him. “Adam who were you just talking to?”

  He turns around to look at me. “Don’t worry baby, it is nothing.”

  I walk over to him and cradle his face. “It sounds important. Is everything ok?”

  He rests his head on mine and I feel his hands making their way down my ass. The tension between us is strong but I want our first time to be special. I simply smile and pull him away. “I want to watch a movie! Why don’t you clean up everything while I shower?”

  “Sounds good, do you want me to get anything? Are you feeling up for some dinner, maybe soup?”

  I shake my head. I am still not hungry and do not want to risk getting sick again. “No it is ok. Hopefully this shower will make me feel better.” I give him a quick kiss and go to the bathroom.

  When I come back to the room, Adam has everything cleaned up and there is some toast on the nightstand. He is wearing just his sweatpants. I panic a little. He sees me standing in the doorway looking at him, “Baby, are you ok?”

  “Ahhh… yeah I’m fine. Adam, I said I wasn’t hungry. You didn’t have to make me toast.” I put away my towel and sit down to brush my hair. My breathing gets faster and I try to calm myself down. I’ve seen him without a shirt on before. I don’t know why this is so hard.

  He takes the brush from my hand and starts to softly brush my hair. “You need to try and eat something.”

  Of course he would do something sweet like this. “Fine, I’ll try.” After a few minutes, we get back in bed and turn on the television. He puts his arm around me and I snuggle up to his chest.

  “This is nice.” Adam takes the remote and flips through the channels. It takes a few moments but we settle on watching, “The Notebook”. It is at the part when she comes back to him and sees the house for the first time. I look up at him and see him smiling. I love feeling this close to him.

  Chapter 14

  The next day I am feeling a little bit better, but the smell of food is definitely not working too well with my stomach. I make a cup of tea before making my way to the meeting with Dr. Henry and Steven.

  Today is a nice day; the sun is out and there is no snow on the ground. It is still chilly but it feels good to be outside in the fresh air; instead of quarantined in the apartment. I get to the building and see all the students trying to get to class. I am thankful I am finished with classes and I have time to focus on the presentation. Today is the day we find out the product we are going to help launch for Optimax. The preliminary work was tedious, looking over past sales and clients. I open the door to the classroom and see Dr. Henry reading what looks like to be emails, “Morning Dr. Henry. How are you?

  He looks up with his glasses on the tip of his nose, “Why good morning Miss Burns. I’m doing well and how are you feeling today? I heard you were sick. So glad you’re feeling better.”

  I wonder how he knew I was sick. I didn’t email him and I don’t talk to Steven. “I’m ok thank you for asking. It feels good to be out of my room.” I look around the empty classroom. “Where’s Steven?”

  “Steven has decided Optimax is not the right fit for him and has resigned. Now this leaves just you with this project Miss Burns. I will be guiding you throughout the entire process so no need to feel stressed or anything. We want you to succeed and we believe you will be a great asset to the company.”

  He keeps saying “we” and I’m not sure why. How can I do this on my own? I feel the walls coming closer together and my breathing becomes rapid. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling as though I don’t have control. I feel small. I don’t’ think I can do this. He believes in me but I don’t think I can do this. I want to back out now before I make a fool out of myself and waste the company’s money. “Umm…Ugh...Dr. Henry I can’t do this!”

  He gets up from his desk and comes toward me. His hands are on my shoulder and looking at me. “Miss Burns. Breathe. You will be ok. Here take a seat.” He leads me to the chair and we both sit down. “Now, if my colleagues and I didn’t believe you could do this, you would not be here. Look at everything you have accomplished so far Miss Burns. Don’t throw it away because you are scared. You have an immense support group and I will help you throughout the entire process.”

  I don’t know why he thinks I can do this. It is too much to handle but I don’t want to let anyone down. I count to ten and close my eyes. When I open them, he is looking at me with a worried expression. I feel guilty. I can’t leave this opportunity. “Ok.”

  “Good Miss Burns.” Dr. Henry takes out his iPad and turns it on. “Now let’s talk about what your task will be.”

  We sit down at the round table in the back. I take out my pen and notebook and wait patiently for my instructions. Dr. Henry takes off his glasses and takes out papers from a folder, “Now Optimax wants to expand by creating safety devices that will help those people over the age of 50 and people with existing health problems.”

  As he is talking, I can’t help but remember the project Adam was working on. I wonder if he has anything to do with the company. It is all so weird and I want to know what is going on. “Miss Burns?”

  I quickly look over at him and feel embarrassed. “Oh Dr. Henry, I am so sorry!”

  He starts to laugh, “It is alright. Now do you have any questions for me?”

  “Actually, I do have a few. So, am I supposed to come up with a prototype?”

  “No, no you my dear will focus on the marketing piece of this campaign. We want you to focus on the sales aspect of this product and how we can make it appealing. I need you to go through the sales of last year’s products and review their ads. We may have to review some video of the conferences that took place, but I will put that together. The prototype is under someone else and actually they’ve come up with a few. It is very interesting.”

  Information overload! I need to do this. I can’t back out now. I feel my hands getting clammy. Ugh, why is this so hard to process and accept? “It does sound like it. Now do you want me to create a power point presentation?”

  “Yes that does sound like a great idea. Now focus mostly on the research the team found on the age group and how it will help people.”

  I skim the pages and recognize the information. Oh my God, Adam is working for Optimax too, but why didn’t he tell me?

  “Well, this wraps up our meeting, Miss Burns.” He looks at his watch, “Now if you have any questions, please call me; day or night.”

  I pick up my things and put them in my messenger bag, “Sounds good. Thanks again.” We shake hands and I walk out of the classroom. I take out my phone ready to call Adam and ask him what is going on, when it starts ringing. An unfamiliar number pops up, “Hello?”

  “Hi is this Sophia Burns?” A woman’s voice comes through on the other end.

  I wonder who this could be. “Yes this is she. Who is this?”

  “Miss Burns, I
’m one of the nurses at Appleton Memorial. Your boyfriend Kyle Harrington is here.”

  I nearly drop the phone. I haven’t talked to Kyle in a few weeks so why would she call me? I want to hang up but he does not have anyone here in town and I am sure his parents are out of the country somewhere. Against my better judgment I ask, “What happened?” I start running to get out of the building and to my car. I am frantic and unsure what is going on.

  “Miss Burns he was found unconscious in his dorm room.”

  “Ok ok, I’m on my way.” I hang up the phone and get in the car to start driving to the hospital. I don’t know what is going on and I feel guilty. I know this is my fault. I do not think breaking up with him would make him do this. I get to the hospital and run in. I get to the front desk, “Kyle Harrington’s room please.” I’m out of breath and scared.