Reaching Out For You (Never Letting Go)

by S. Moose

  I take a pillow from behind my head and throw it. I feel an instant sharp pain in my side. “Fuck.” I look away. “You guys please stop worrying. And yes, I will not be alone.”

  I hear Erin’s voice in the hallway and in seconds, she is here with Connor. His arms filled with balloons and stuffed animals. “Oh my God, Sophia, are you ok? Oh my God, sweetie,” Erin starts to cry. “I am so sorry this happened.”

  “You guys stop, it is ok. I am fine. I am alive. I mean yeah it sucks that I’m here, but I’m fine so please stop freaking out.”

  “Yeah guys, our Sophia is a trooper.” Connor winks at me and I start laughing.

  “Alright everyone, visiting hours are over, come back tomorrow before Sophia is released,” my dad tells everyone. He looks at the balloon and stuffed animals Connor is carrying. “Someone will have to help carry the gift shop out.” We all look over at Connor and burst out laughing. I am lucky to have great family and friends. “Thank you everyone for being here for my daughter.”

  Everyone says goodbye and I start to feel sleepy again. Adam is the last person in the room and he sits down next to me. “I will be here first thing tomorrow morning. I promise.” He gives me a light kiss, “Dream of me tonight.”

  I reach out my arms for him. When he wraps them around me, I hold him tight. “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too.” He strokes my face and gives me another kiss. “Sleep tight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Night Adam.”

  When he leaves the room, I realize it is just me. A part of me feels sad. I hate being alone in the dark. I lie on my side and look out the window. The moon is shining in my room. I sigh. I think about everything that has happened and pull my knees up to my chest. I’m tired of running and being scared, this has to come to an end. I have to be strong. Kyle will not win. I close my eyes and fall in a deep sleep.

  Unexpectedly I feel eyes on me. I turn over on my back and look up. Kyle’s at the end of my bed staring at me. How in the hell did he get in past the nurses and my dad? I look around the room and then back at Kyle. Even through the darkness, I can see his malicious expressions. His darkness is screaming at me. I need to do something. I push myself up and keep my eyes locked onto his. “Kyle…” I press the call button. “You need to get out now.” My voice is calm which surprises me. I can do this. I need to do this.

  Kyle walks over to me, taking small strides. “Sophia, I miss you.” I frantically press the button. Where in the hell is everyone? Kyle is getting closer. Fuck it! I start to scream but his hand covers my mouth. “You need to listen to me. I am sorry about this but I can’t let you go.” All of a sudden, Kyle lifts his hand off my mouth and runs out of the room. I start screaming again and see my dad and Nancy run in. “Honey, what is wrong?”

  “Daddy! Kyle!” I point to the door and pull the covers up to my face. This seriously cannot be happening again. I do not want to deal with this bullshit anymore. I want to move on and live my life, our life. I just want to go home with Adam.

  My dad turns around to look at the door. He pulls his hands through his hair and I see his shoulders slump down. “Nancy, call security now and have the hospital locked down. Find him!”

  Nancy runs out of the room. My dad comes over to me and brings me into his arms. “Oh Sophia, are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

  “No, no I’m ok. Daddy when will this all be over?” I cry into my dad’s shoulder and start hyperventilating.

  “Shhhh, honey, It is going to be ok.” I fall asleep with his encouraging words. It will all work out in the end.

  The next morning I wake up and see my dad sleeping on the chair beside me. I feel safe again but still scared. I am not sure what Kyle is capable of doing but I know he will not stop until he gets what he wants. My dad said I will be released from the hospital today, and I am glad to be out of here and with Adam again. I smile just thinking about how we have been and how wonderful he has been toward me. “Morning, Daddy.”

  My dad starts to wake up. “Morning, how are you?”

  I turn my head to him. “I’m alright, ready to go?”

  “I know honey. Let me go talk to Dr. Hendricks and we should be leaving shortly.”

  I start to get comfortable again when Adam comes in my room. He is dressed in fitted jeans and a dark gray shirt. He looks so sexy and I cannot wait to go home with him today. “Hey baby, how are you feeling?”

  “I’m ok, but you should probably sit down.” Adam makes his way over to the chair beside my bed and kisses me on the lips before sitting down. “Kyle came to my room last night.”

  Adam abruptly gets up and goes over to the window. He pulls out his phone. “He was here last night. Find him!” My poor Adam.

  I wonder whom he keeps talking to on the phone. “Adam, who do you keep calling?”

  I see his shoulder slump and he puts his hands on the window. “My dad and I are putting together some sort of security team for you. I can’t have this happen to you again.” He turns around with his arms crossed. I don’t want him to do anything special for me. I’m not a charity case. I feel myself getting mad.

  “Adam, just stop, I don’t need body guards. We will be fine. Now please come here.” His shoulders hunch down and I can see the exhaustion throughout his body. He makes his way over to me again. “I missed you. I can’t wait to go home today.”

  “Sophia, I can’t wait for you to come back either.” He gives me another sweet kiss. God I love him.

  Chapter 18

  It has been about two weeks since my release from the hospital. It feels great to be home. Thoughts of Kyle keep me up when Adam isn’t around. I need to stop letting him win. I find myself wondering when I will see him again. Will I be alone? Will he hurt me again? Is he capable of doing more damage? Even with Adam by my side, I still keep thinking of the worse case scenarios. Adam told me to stop thinking about him and to be happy that I’m alive. Easy for him to say, but I don’t fight back. Adam has kept me home and won’t let me out of his sight. I made up new recipes to try out, and have been baking like crazy. Connor has been complaining that he has already gained five pounds!

  Being with Adam is helping me but it is still hard to move on. It feels amazing to be in his arms and to hear him tell me how much he loves me. Adam gives me hope for a better tomorrow. Each night before we go to bed, he whispers how much he loves me. We have a sign over our bed that says, “Always kiss me goodnight” and he does. I have been sleeping in a lot, since I’ve been home, and when I wake up there is a lily and a note on the nightstand. He has been unbelievably romantic and I love every moment I spend with him.

  “Good morning beautiful. How are you feeling?” He leans down and gives me a kiss. I start to blush and smile.

  “I’m okay, thank you.” I roll over and look at the time. It is only seven. I raise my arms over my head and stretch. I have to do something today or else someone will feel my wrath! I bend forward and take out my laptop. I power it up and let out a sigh.

  “Soph, what are you doing?” He sounds annoyed. I flash him a dirty look and focus on my laptop again.

  “Adam, the presentation is coming up and I need to work on it.” The bruises on my face are still there, but slowly fading. I still have not left the apartment in fear Kyle will find me. I’ve had a few nightmares but it has been getting easier. “I’m not going to let Kyle ruin this for me.”

  Adam takes my hand and sits on the bed. “Baby, everything’s been approved and I took your presentation to the board. You’re fine, everything is all set.”

  I look at him with such rage and annoyance. I cannot believe he has done this to me. This is my project! How dare he do this! “Adam! What the hell! I am fully capable of doing my work!” I pull my hand away. “You have no right to do this!”

  “Sophia, stop this now. You are in no condition to be working. I did not do anything wrong. I took what you did and showed the board. Everyone knows that you did the work and are very impressed, as they should be. I
am trying to protect you. You are to be working from home, but not until you’ve fully recovered.”

  I push him away. How could he do this to me? I am more than capable of getting my work done. My skin is tingling with irritation. I get up from the bed and pace around the room. “You can’t do this Adam!” I point my finger at him and wave him away. “I can work!”

  “I’m not doing this with you right now. Until we find Kyle you are to be with me, Connor or Erin, do you understand me?” Adam abruptly gets up from the bed and leaves the room.

  God, he makes me so mad! My cell phone starts ringing. I get it from the nightstand and do not recognize the number, but I answer the call anyway, thinking it is someone from the hospital. “Hello?”

  There was heavy breathing on the other line.

  “Hello?” I’m getting impatient and about to hang up when that sinister voice comes on the line. “Sophia.” The hairs on my arm stand. I stop breathing. I’m frozen. Why can’t I be strong and get past this?

  “Kyle?” I look out the window of our bedroom. I hear a creak and immediately turn my head toward the door. I grab onto our comforter and try to remain calm. “What do you want?”

  “For you to listen to me,” his breathing becomes erratic. I hear him moving and wonder where he is. “I need you to understand Sophia. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, please listen to me. I need you to meet me outside of your apartment.” He pauses. He can’t be near the apartment. I’m frantic again. “I’m standing outside.” Kyle’s pleas are scaring me. I throw the covers off and run to the window. I look outside the window to see if he is there. I feel eyes on me but I don’t see him anywhere. I drop the phone and panic. I can’t seem to catch my breath. I don’t realize how loud I’m crying until Adam and Connor storm in.

  Connor picks up the phone from the ground and Adam takes me in his arms. “Who the hell is this?” He looks at the phone. “There is no one on the phone. Soph who was it?”

  I can’t breathe. I feel a tight hold on my throat and collapse into Adam’s arms. I want to tell them that Kyle was on the phone but I can’t talk.

  “Sweetheart, look at me.” Adam places his hands on my face and brings it up. “I know you’re scared but we need to know who called you. Just nod, ok? Was it Kyle?”

  I nod.

  “Connor, make sure the doors are secured and tell Jack and the staff to not let Kyle in the building.” Connor runs out of the room. Adam takes me in his arms and leads me to the bed. “I am not going to let anything happen to you Sophia. You are my life. I love you.”

  “I’m sorry.” My voice is raspy and I attempt to curl my lips in a smile.

  Adam strokes my head. “Baby you have no reason to be sorry. I just want you to be safe.”

  I feel calm but still can’t shake the feeling of being scared. I knew Kyle wasn’t going to give up until he gets me back or kills me. I don’t know why he won’t just leave me alone.

  * * * * *

  The next few days are starting to become unbearable. Adam does not want me going anywhere without him or Connor. Things are so boring. I tried conferencing him when he was in the office, so that I could stay on top of the plans for Optimax and the products. I do not get how I can work when I can’t even leave. Apparently going to the office was not a good idea. My dad wants me to stay home so that no one will see the bruises and Adam agrees. I hate that everyone is making decisions for me.

  Kyle hasn’t tried contacting me since that day and there hasn’t been anything suspicious going on. All this paranoia is driving me crazy. Adam controls everything. He isn’t sleeping at night, and is cranky all the time. Luckily, Erin is over all the time so I don’t feel too alone.

  We’re sitting on my bed reading magazines. Erin flips on her back and loudly groans. “Girl you need to eat! You look sick.”

  I frown. “I just haven’t been hungry.” I look at myself in the mirror. I’m in one of Adam’s shirts and my black crop yoga pants. I am shocked with how I look. “God, I need to get out of here and get to a spa!”

  “Well then let’s go!” Erin jumps up from the bed and starts bouncing up and down. “Come on! Kyle hasn’t done anything since that call. We will be gone for like an hour! They won’t even know.”

  I consider everything that Erin is saying, but I do not want to make Adam mad. He is doing so much to ensure our safety, but she has a point. Kyle hasn’t made contact with me since that day and everything seems to be alright. “Ok, let’s go but we have to be quiet!” Adam and Connor are in the office and in meetings all day, so I know that we can get in and out without them ever finding out what we are about to do. I quickly change into my black skinny jeans and a pale blue sweater. I throw on my jacket and a hat and we make our way out the door.

  When we get outside, the weather is calm and there is a slight breeze. It is February, and it seems as though spring has come early. All the snow has melted and I can hear chirping all around me. Erin loops her arm around mine and we walk toward Passion Spa.

  The spa is close to the apartment, about six blocks away. When we arrive inside the spa, it is quite busy for a Wednesday afternoon. There are three receptionists at the desk all dressed in black pants and white button down shirts. There is a fountain in the middle of the room with products all over. A blonde hair, brown-eyed woman greets us. “Welcome to Passion ladies. My name is Francine, how may I help you today?”

  “Hi Francine, we are looking to be absolutely spoiled and pampered today, so two of the rejuvenate packages please,” Erin responds.

  “Wonderful. Please follow me this way. Would either of you like beverage, wine, water?”

  “Water please.” I answer as we follow Francine to the back.

  “Sounds good, I will grab those glasses for you ladies. Now please undress and put these robes on. You will have your massage first, followed by a facial and seaweed wrap and you will end with a manicure and pedicure.”

  We both start giggling and do as Francine has instructed.

  * * * * *

  After the most relaxing four hours, Erin and I come out of the spa feeling and looking ten times better. “Ahhhh, that was so needed! Thank you so much for convincing me to do this!”

  “Anything for you, best friend,” Erin pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through her messages. “Ummmm, you’re not going to like me for very long.”

  “Why?” I cry out. “What happened?” I am beyond annoyed at this point. I know it was a bad idea for us to leave the apartment. We both stop walking and I can see how nervous she is getting.

  “Adam is freaking out right now. He is been all over looking for us. Where’s your phone?”

  I go through my purse and pockets. “Oh crap. I left it in the apartment!” I take Erin’s arm and start running. I’m so mad at myself. This is what I wanted to avoid. Adam and I do not need this right now and I don’t want to keep making him mad. I know that my safety means the world to him and that I have to stop being selfish and let him handle all the problems. I just want him to understand I can’t be in the

  apartment 24/7. I do need my life back, especially since he doesn’t want me going into the office. I am so scared to see him and have to explain myself.

  We start back toward the apartment and I get worried. I’m sure I already know how Adam is going to react and what he will do. When I open the door, I see Connor sitting on the couch with his laptop. “Go find him Soph. I’ll deal with Connor.” Erin walks over to him and gives him a hug. He looks relieved to have us home.

  I can’t find Adam anywhere in the common areas, so I head to our room. Inside, he is looking out the window with his arms crossed. His entire body looks tense. I can’t stand to look at him like this. He is in so much pain and I’m the one who is the cause of his stress. We can’t keep letting Kyle ruin our lives. How can Adam and I grow with Kyle lurking out there? I want to convince him that I’m fine and all the guards and the protection aren’t necessary. I wish he could just see it my way. I walk over and try to talk t
o him. I wrap my arms around his waist and softly squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

  Adam looks at me. His eyes filled with rage and sadness. “Do you know how worried I was about you? Why can’t you just listen to me? There is so much going on with Kyle and you just go out there without any thought or consideration.” He is pacing the room, and will not even look at me. “I don’t get it. Sophia, I am trying to keep you safe... I am trying to keep you ALIVE, SOPHIA! Can you stop being selfish for two seconds and realize that there are people here who are trying to keep you safe?”

  I close my eyes and let out a deep sigh. I knew he wouldn’t understand my reasons for doing this and for leaving without letting someone know, but I wasn’t in any harm. I made it home without any issues. I just don’t understand the problem. “You don’t get it! I hate being here all the time. You won’t let me go anywhere! Adam, I feel trapped in the apartment! I don’t get to do anything! Kyle hasn’t done anything lately! Why can’t you just let me go a little?” I start pacing the room. I am getting irritated and annoyed. “I know you want to keep me safe but keeping me trapped here isn’t the answer! I just wanted to get out of here and do… something! Your paranoia is going to tear us apart. Look at us Adam.”