Pastures of Faith

by Sarah Price

  “Daniel?” she asked, her voice barely over a whisper.

  “It’s home,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. He turned her around so that she was facing him. “Our home, Rachel.”

  “Our home?”

  “Ja, our home. That is if you’ll agree to marry me.”

  Marry me, he had said. She repeated the words to herself. Marry…the word seemed to ricochet in her head. Marry Daniel. He was searching her face, waiting for an answer. The eagerness in his expression brought tears to her eyes. “Oh,” she whispered, fighting the urge to cry. “But…”

  “There are no buts,” he said, his face lighting up and, taking her hand in his, he led her around the room. “It’s the perfect size for us. Small and private yet close to the others. Daed needs my help with the fieldwork and Lillian could sure use help with the little ones. But we can be together, Rachel. Begin building our own lives together…right here, in this small house.”

  “Marry you?” she asked.

  “Yes,” he said, grabbing both of her hands in his. “You can stay in Lancaster and we can spend the years getting to know each other. We already know the most important things, don’t we? We know that we are right gut friends and that you look at hanging laundry as artwork and pray when you garden. When you sleep in a haystack, you look like peace on earth. We make each other laugh, we can stand together in silence. And I will protect you, be near you, and honor you for the rest of our lives. If there is anything more to know, well, that knowledge will grow with the years.”

  Rachel was staring at him, her mouth opened slightly but no words passing her lips. She looked as though she was speechless and the color had drained from her cheeks.

  He frowned, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. “There is one other thing that I do know, Rachel.” He hesitated. “I know that I love you. I love you and want to marry you. That’s the most important thing, isn’t it? Everything else is just small stuff, the small things that married couples have to learn about each other. We could spend the next two months or next two years learning about each other but that wouldn’t change the fact that I want you, Rachel, to be my wife, to wake up next to me every morning and help me with the chores, to laugh and to cry, to love and to cherish. You are my intended,” he said. “And I hope that I can be yours.”

  The words touched her and she couldn’t hold back anymore. “Oh Daniel,” she sobbed, the tears falling from her eyes. “You are just saying this to make me stay.”

  “No!” he retorted, his voice stronger than he wanted it to sound. “That’s not true. I knew from the moment I saw you comfort little Linda at Sylvia’s farm that you were the one. Your gentle tenderness, your loving words, your dedicated faith…”

  “Faith…” she replied.

  “Yes, your faith.” He clutched her hands. “God led you here, Rachel. Mayhaps your father sent you but it was God’s hand that brought you to this farm and straight into my heart.”

  “Well,” she stammered, blinking as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I wouldn’t say straight into your heart…”

  He laughed and, when he did, she joined him. He wiped her tears away with his thumb. “That’s exactly what I mean, Rachel. You are the woman that I want, for the rest of my life, by my side. I will protect you, respect you, and honor you.” He pulled her closer to him and, to his relief, she didn’t fight him. “And I know that you will do the same.”

  “Daniel,” she said, her voice breathless as she stared into his face. “I hardly know what to say. This is rather unexpected.”

  “Unexpected? Mayhaps. But does it feel right, Rachel? Do you love me?”

  She hesitated, thinking for a moment about what he asked. Did it feel right, she wondered Did she love him? But as quickly as the question formed in her mind, she knew the answer. How could she have even struggled with answering anything but what was in her heart? For indeed she loved Daniel.

  “Yes, Daniel,” she heard her voice say, despite feeling as though she was listening to someone else speaking. “Yes, I will marry you.” The words sounded foreign, sounded strange. She couldn’t believe that she had spoken them, not now…now ever.

  He smiled then, exhaling loudly as though he had been holding his breath. With one arm around her waist, Daniel reached up with the other hand and lightly caressed her cheek. “Ach Rachel,” he said, his voice catching in his throat. He pressed his hand against her skin and stared into her face, taking in each curve and line, memorizing each feature. “Ja, it feels just right,” he whispered and, with just the slightest hesitation, he leaned down to gently brush his lips against hers. The kiss was soft, gentle, and full of the promise of their commitment to a life-long future together.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Despite the rapid nature of the proposal, the family had been supportive of the decision for Rachel and Daniel’s to commit to marriage. When Daniel had approached his mother, she had just held her breath as though waiting to hear the words. He had found her sitting alone in the sunroom off of the kitchen, fixing some holes in the younger boys trousers.

  “Mamm,” Daniel had said. “Got some right gut news for you.” Katie had looked up from her sewing as he sat down next to her on the sofa. He reached out and covered her hand with his. “Rachel’s going to stay on at the farm.”

  “Oh?” Katie had asked, her eyes searching his face hopefully.

  “Ja,” he smiled. Then, taking a deep breath, he grinned as he said, “She’ll be staying here as my wife.”

  Katie reached out to hug him, her joy quick and plentiful. “Oh Daniel!” she cried out. “I’m so very, very happy for you!” After the stress of two children marrying outside of the faith, Daniel knew exactly why his mamm was so ecstatic and he laughed as she held him close.

  The rest of the family had been just as happy. Lillian clapped her hands in joy, fighting to control the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks when Daniel told them, a blushing Rachel standing behind him. But Lillian didn’t care. She had rushed to Rachel’s side, pulling her into a happy embrace. “We shall truly be sisters now, ain’t so?”

  Rachel smiled. “I guess that’s true.”

  Daniel stood back, his hands in his front pockets, grinning as he watched the family fuss over his bride. And it pleased him even more to see how demure she was in response. He knew that pride was a sin but he couldn’t help but feel it when he looked at her. He liked seeing the color flood to her cheeks and her eyes flutter as she sought him out amidst the congratulations and hugs and chatter about the wedding. She was always looking for him as though wishing to escape to his side, eager for his protection from the excessive attention.

  They had decided to marry the first week in November so that when their wedding was published at church, they would be married the following week. With the baptism ceremony just three weeks before, there was a lot to do in a short period of time.

  Rachel felt as though each day was a whirlwind. Between meeting with the bishop to prepare for her baptism and planning for their wedding celebration, Rachel was lost in the details. The bishop had written to the leaders of her church district regarding Rachel’s desire to be baptized in Leola, Pennsylvania. When her former bishop wrote back, he confirmed that she had attended the instructional and gave his blessing.

  Wedding preparations were not as easy, however. Rachel had never experienced a wedding from a woman’s perspective. Having only had brothers, she didn’t know what was expected of her. Thankfully, Lillian helped to guide her through the process, making lists to help her stay on track.

  “Don’t forget about the Schultz family,” Junior said one night as Lillian made a list of neighbors to invite. “And the Millers.”

  Daniel nodded. “The Millers,” he repeated as though committing the name to memory. “Can’t forget Ezariah, that’s for sure and certain.”

  Junior laughed. “He’d be put out of sorts if you did that. Have nothing new to talk about if he isn’t invited, that one!”

  “J
unior!” Lillian scolded gently. She was seated in a chair by a window, working on some sewing but looked up long enough to cast a disapproving look at her husband. “Gossip spreads unhappiness,” she rebuked.

  His eyes sparkled at his wife. “Ja and Ezariah is sure one to know how to spread both!”

  “So many people,” Rachel said softly. Reaching for the list that was on the table, she stared at it. It was quite a long list of names. “I don’t know any of them.”

  “You’ll get to know them, Rachel,” Daniel reassured her. He waited until she looked up before he smiled at her. “They are all right gut people and very happy for both of us.” He reached out and touched her hand to reassure her.

  With the crops harvested, Daniel often had time to visit with Rachel during the day. In the afternoons, they would often walk around the barn toward the mule shed, standing before the door that would soon welcome them home. Rachel stared at it, her eyes large and sparkling as she realized that, in just a few short weeks, she would walk through that door with Daniel as her husband.

  “You like what I’ve done to the place then, ja?” He asked, watching her as he leaned against the railing on the small porch.

  She looked at him, her eyes sparkling as she smiled and nodded her head gently. “Oh yes, Daniel. It is wunderbaar!”

  “You want to go inside then? One more time?”

  He watched as she bit her lip and looked around. “It wouldn’t really be proper now, would it? I mean, being alone in the house before the wedding day.”

  Daniel waved his hand at her, dismissing her worries. “Rachel, our baptism is in just a few weeks and we’re to be married right quick after. What is talk but idle gossip?”

  She frowned. “Gossip can take on a life of its own, Daniel. Don’t want gossip to spread. You know that it could ruin our day.”

  He laughed at her. “You are going to be my wife and this will be our home. I want you to stand inside your kitchen, Rachel.” He reached out and turned the doorknob, pushing the door open. “I’ll stand out here, Rachel, where everyone can see that we weren’t alone in the house. I promise.”

  Satisfied with that, Rachel eagerly walked through the door and stood in the center of the room. There were lots of windows along one wall that looked over the cow and mule paddocks. The kitchen counter, sink and stove were L shaped with windows over them. A large wooden table was toward the back wall, which separated the house from the mule barn.

  Daniel watched from the doorway, making certain to stick to his promise and remain outside. He watched as she turned around, observing everything in this room. The kitchen was bright and cheerful with plenty of room for a newly married couple. He could picture himself sitting at the table, enjoying evening meals with Rachel. They’d talk and laugh or maybe eat quietly as they reflected on the day. But they’d be together and that was all that mattered.

  “Does it feel like home, Rachel?” he asked, his voice low and husky. Watching her stirred a warm feeling that flowed through his veins. He was glad that they’d be married so soon. He would have dreaded waiting longer to begin sharing his life with her.

  She turned around and stared at him. Her dark eyes were shining and there was a hint of a smile on her lips. “With you standing there watching me? For sure and certain, Daniel.”

  Then, to his surprise, Rachel walked toward the door and, when she stood before him, she placed her hand against his chest. The gesture was unexpected and he caught his breath, quickly covering her hand with his. She didn’t break his gaze, their eyes locked on each other. Once again, the warmth coursing through his veins seemed to burn at his very core. He lowered his mouth down and kissed her palm before resting it against his cheek. “Rachel…” he murmured.

  “How many weeks?” she whispered.

  “Too many weeks.”

  She laughed softly. “Is it but five now?”

  “Five seems like fifty.” He placed his hand on her waist and pulled her close to his body. She was so small and petite. Her body seemed to curve into his, like a piece of a wooden puzzle that he had played with as a child. The fit was perfect. He leaned down and nuzzled at her neck, pausing only to gently kiss her lips. “Fifty feels like five hundred.”

  “Oh,” she gasped, her breath caught in her throat from his kiss.

  He let himself give her another kiss, this one full of the love and passion that they both felt. And, for just a moment, he didn’t care if anyone saw them. After all, she was going to be his wife. But, even if he had wanted to keep kissing her, to keep holding her in his arms, even to take her upstairs to escape watching eyes, he knew what was proper and what neither one of them could live with. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to pull away from her.

  “But five weeks is not so long when you realize that it’s all that stands between us and forever,” he whispered. “And that’s not too much time to have to wait, ja?”

  She bit her lip, still moist from the kiss, as she nodded her head. “Ja,” she whispered, trying to catch her breath.

  Daniel kissed her forehead before releasing her. “Suppose we should get back to see what help they need. I heard Mamm say something about needing a few things from the market. I told her I’d save her the trip.”

  Rachel smiled. “Wish I could ride along, Daniel.”

  He squeezed her hand, waiting for her to step down onto the small porch so that he could shut the door behind her. “You should be helping Lillian, I reckon. A little bird whispered that she was in dire need of some help in the garden. Something about the root vegetables and an upcoming wedding?” They both laughed and headed back to the house, their spirits light and happy on a lovely autumn day.

  The market was unusually crowded for a Wednesday afternoon. Daniel hurried through the aisles, greeting the people that he knew and smiling at those he did not.

  “Well I say! Is that Daniel Lapp?”

  Daniel turned at the sound of his name. An older man with a long white beard was approaching him. Ezariah Miller. Daniel smiled at the elderly man, known in the community for loving a good story as well as spreading them, too. “Well gut martiye to you, Ezariah! Just was speaking about you the other day at the haus!”

  The old man leaned against his cane and clucked his tongue, eyeing Daniel suspiciously. “What brings you to the market today? Your folks doing well?”

  Probing already, Daniel thought and tried to suppress a smile. Instead, he simply nodded his head respectfully. “Danke for asking. They are quite well. But busy. Told them I’d save them the trip to market.”

  “Don’t see much of you young folk these days, not that you’re all grown up…courting and getting married, I hear,”

  “That I am, Ezariah! Just a few short weeks from now, after the fall baptism! I’m surprised you heard, seeing that it hasn’t been properly announced and all.” Daniel grinned in spite of himself. He simply couldn’t contain his enthusiasm nor stop his face from lighting up at the mention of his upcoming marriage to Rachel. If Ezariah wanted to spread news, that was gossip something Daniel didn’t mind being shared with others.

  “Always so secretive, you young courting folk,” Ezariah scoffed. “So, who is the lucky young lady? Someone from our district, no doubt?”

  “No,” Daniel said, trying not to smile too broadly in case his enthusiasm would be mistaken for pride. “Rachel Lapp from Ohio.”

  “Lapp, eh?”

  “Daed’s cousin’s daughter.”

  “You don’t say,” Ezariah said. He seemed deep in thought, pulling at his white beard while he faded blue eyes seemed to search the air for something. “From Ohio?”

  “Yes sir, that’s right.”

  “That wouldn’t be Harvey Lapp? Seem to recall he moved away years ago.” The older man continued tugging at his beard but looked at Daniel was sharp eyes. “They move on back here? Nothing good comes out of leaving Lancaster, I always said.”

  Daniel laughed. “No, they sure didn’t move back. But he sent his Rachel to stay with my brothe
r last spring. Help out Lillian and Daed.”

  Ezariah pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “Lapps from Ohio, you said, ja? Ain’t they the family that had that big issue a year or so back?”

  For a moment, Daniel didn’t understand what Ezariah had said and he had to repeat the old man’s words in his head. “Issue?”

  Ezariah frowned and looked at him, as if surprised that Daniel didn’t know what he was talking about. “Ja! I was out visiting my own brother, Isaiah. He moved his family out to Ohio a few years back with some others from Lancaster. Land ain’t cheap and God ain’t making more of it, you know. Too many of you young men are having to leave the farming way of life because there just ain’t enough land here in Lancaster, is there?”