by Mel Sherratt
‘Her teeth began to suffer as the weight dropped off her. And then social services got involved because some bitch of a teacher said I was neglecting her! She said that Ashleigh always looked malnourished and dirty. And she’d stopped going to school. I never knew about that until I realised how poorly she was and tried to get help.’
Laura stayed still while he became more volatile. As he paced the room, she kept her eyes on Jess. She looked so scared, so vulnerable. What the hell was she supposed to say to him?
‘You shouldn’t blame yourself,’ she said.
‘She wasn’t washing.’ Jason ignored her. ‘That’s why she looked dirty. She wasn’t eating, that’s why she was thin and always looked tired. She would bruise easily – but that was nothing to do with me.
‘In the end, I lost my job because I was always off with her, trying to make sure she looked after herself. I couldn’t leave her alone for too long. I didn’t want to either. I was the only family she had. But it affected my work because of my bad timekeeping. And then social services were going to hold a case conference, and we both knew that they would take her into care. I couldn’t cope with her deteriorating alongside me. I couldn’t understand that it was her way of coping after losing her mum. My way was hitting the bottle. Her way was surviving a whole day on an apple and a cracker. A game of wills.’ His laugh was cruel. ‘She won every time. She got it down to a tee. I gave in every time I saw a bottle. I was useless. I was weak. She was brave.’ He glared at Laura. ‘But you. You could have helped her. Why didn’t you?’
Laura raised her eyes to his. What did he mean by that?
‘I checked Ashleigh’s phone records. She called the helpline at least twice a week. Always at the same times. So I guessed she was talking to the same person, made a connection there.
‘When she died, her phone was missing and I found a new one she must have bought herself. It wasn’t a smartphone. It was a really old model. She must have lost hers. I don’t know why she couldn’t tell me.
‘I watched the office for a few weeks and found out she’d been ringing during the times you were on your shift. I suppose if there were lots of people working there then I would have struggled.’
‘I – I thought I was helping,’ Laura said.
‘I thought Ashleigh was doing okay when we moved in here. But she just gave up. And now I know why. She was talking to you, so you must have let her down.’
Jess shook her head vehemently. Jason glanced her way for a moment before continuing.
‘Ashleigh killed herself. She took an overdose and I’ – his voice broke with emotion – ‘I came home to find her dead.’ His shoulders dropped. ‘I’d let her down. I tried so hard to be a good parent, but I couldn’t cope when her mum died. Ashleigh starved herself as a way of control, I guess. Losing her mum was hard – on both of us. Her friends dropped off one by one when they didn’t know how to deal with her. One minute she would be fine and the next she would be in fits of tears, and she became so angry.’
‘But you ’ – Jason pointed at Laura with the knife – ‘you should have been there for her. Ashleigh rang that helpline for support because she couldn’t get it from me. She should have got it from you!’
Laura had let him talk. He had needed someone to listen to him, put his side of the story forward, and she had provided this. Because she knew Ashleigh so well, he was hoping for answers that she didn’t have though. She couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear. He shouldn’t be blaming her.
But she did feel like she was liable. She could have done more. She looked up at him and said what he needed to hear.
‘I’m truly sorry,’ she said.
Chapter Seventy-Four
As Laura listened to Jason, Eden and Amy crossed Davy Road towards number 269. Eden put a hand on the gate.
‘Sarge, you can’t go in yet!’ Amy whispered loudly, grabbing her arm. ‘Sean said to wait for backup.’
Eden raised her eyebrows. ‘You really expect me to wait?’ She looked up and down the street. ‘Uniform will be here soon. But there’s no one here yet so I’m going in. But you’ – she pointed at her – ‘you’re staying outside. I’ll take a bollocking for disobeying orders, not you.’
‘You really expect me to wait here?’ Amy shook her head. ‘If you’re going in, I’m coming too, whether you like it or not. Proctor could be doing almost anything to your family inside there.’
Eden paused. ‘Stay behind me,’ she said eventually, ‘and be careful. They’ll have my badge if anything goes wrong.’
‘We’re a team,’ Amy responded. ‘I’m right behind you.’
‘No bloody heroics,’ Eden warned.
She opened the gate and strode up the path. The curtains were closed at the downstairs window, allowing them easy access.
The front door was open. Eden pulled out her baton and trod carefully, trying not to make any sudden movements that would alert anyone. Hearing a male voice coming from the living room, she turned back to Amy and pressed a finger to her lips, urging her to stay quiet.
The living room door was partly open too. Eden couldn’t assess the situation through what little she could see. She knocked, pushing it open as she did.
‘Jason?’ she said. ‘Jason Proctor?’
He was in front of the fireplace. Eden had expected to see an angry man, a dangerous man, a callous individual who didn’t give a shit if he hurt anyone as long as he got his own way. What she saw was someone who was broken, grief-stricken and seeming remorseful. Someone who was volatile but vulnerable. Someone who was out of control and scared.
Someone who had a knife in his hand.
She glanced across the room, appraising both her sister and her niece and assessing any injuries. The situation was hostile yet stable, but Eden knew that could change in an instant. She took a step into the room.
‘She turned her against me.’ Jason pointed at Laura with the knife, looking at Eden with so much sorrow that in any other circumstance it might have brought a lump to her throat.
‘It wasn’t like that,’ Eden replied, one hand in the air and the baton ready at her side. ‘Laura thought she was helping. It’s her job to listen to young teenagers, and she does it very well.’
Silence fell on the room. Eden moved a step closer, sensing Amy doing the same behind her. Her eyes locked with Laura’s for a moment, hoping to appease her. Keep her calm. Allay her fears.
‘Did you find Ashleigh?’ She turned back to Jason, taking a step nearer.
He nodded. ‘I got home from the pub about eight. Ashleigh was in her room. I could hear music. I knocked on the door, but she didn’t answer. That wasn’t unusual. If she didn’t want to speak to me, she would stay in her room.’
‘A typical teenager. Just like my daughter.’ Eden tried to build up a rapport. But Jason ignored her. It was as if he didn’t know anyone was there.
‘I fell asleep. When I went to see how she was, that was when I found her.’ His voice cracked with emotion. ‘She was face down on the bed, an empty bottle of painkillers and an empty bottle of vodka on the floor. I found a note beside her. It said ‘I can’t do this any more. I love you, Dad, but I miss Mum so much.’’
Eden said nothing but thought about that poor child. What must have been going through her mind to be in such turmoil?
‘Her phone was by the side of the bed,’ Jason continued. ‘If I had gone into the room when I got home, she might have. . . she might. . .’
Eden glanced at Laura again, wondering if she would have time to get to the door if she herself tackled him. But he could hurt either of them then. She couldn’t chance it, especially with both their hands bound in tape.
‘That’s when I found her diary,’ said Jason. ‘I found out that she didn’t want to live any more. It said she’d tried to end her life twice already but hadn’t taken enough tablets, only enough to make her sick. I found out how her friends had turned against her and how lonely she was. But I also read about her phone being stolen and so
me bastard who shared photos of her online.’
Eden took a step closer.
He glared at Laura then and the air turned dark. ‘Why could she speak to you but not me?’
There were sirens in the distance. Eden hoped he would stay calm as they became louder.
Jason looked towards the window and pulled back the side of the curtain. ‘I never meant for this to happen,’ he said, his face racked with guilt. ‘I just wanted to talk to her, see if I could understand why Ashleigh killed herself.’
‘It was the system that let her down,’ said Eden. ‘There was no one for Ashleigh to turn to when her mum died. That’s not your fault. That’s not anyone’s fault. We all tackle grief differently. And who’s to say how a teenager will handle the death of a parent?’
‘When my husband died, my girls were eight and eleven,’ said Laura. ‘It was hard. I know what you were going through.’
‘No, you don’t.’
‘I do! I had to rely on antidepressants and sleeping pills. There were times that I thought I might not ever get through it. If it weren’t for my sister, I’m not sure I would have been able to cope. Everyone needs someone to listen to them.’
Eden glanced at Laura. She hadn’t known any of this, and she didn’t need to hear it right now. But she put her faith in her sister as she continued to talk.
‘I was a nervous wreck when he died. I thought I’d never cope on my own. But gradually each day got better. My children got me through it. Just like you,’ Laura looked at Jason, ‘I put on a brave face for them. Ashleigh seemed very close to her mum, was that true?’
Jason nodded. ‘I just couldn’t cope. I couldn’t help it.’
‘Of course you couldn’t.’
Eden watched the knife fall to his side. She took another step forward.
He looked at them all in turn. ‘What have I done?’
‘You were grieving,’ Eden said, ‘and you had no one to look after you.’
‘I was.’ He began to weep. ‘I wasn’t a bad father. I just couldn’t be Ashleigh’s mum and dad. It was too much.’
‘You did your best. Ashleigh will know that.’
‘Did she speak about me?’ he addressed Laura.
‘All the time,’ she replied. ‘She said you were a kind and gentle man.’
Eden wondered if that was the truth or a lie. Either way, Laura was very convincing.
‘She said she wished she could talk to you more, but she didn’t want to share her grief,’ Laura added. ‘Not with you, not with me, not with anyone.’
‘What have I done?’ he repeated, the knife still in his hand. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted to teach you a lesson. You should have helped her more.’
‘I couldn’t. We tried – we all tried – but you know Ashleigh. She was strong willed. I was as shocked as you when I learned of her suicide.’
‘It was a cry for help!’ Jason had spittle at the corners of his mouth. ‘She told me she didn’t want to die. I told her I would make her better. Can’t you see? I lied to my daughter, and now she’s dead!’
‘Why don’t you put down the knife?’ said Eden, knowing enough was enough, worried that he would lash out. ‘You should think carefully about what you’re going to do next. You’ve taken someone’s daughter and held her against her will for nearly two days. I can hear my colleagues arriving outside. If they come in, I won’t be able to help you.’
Jason paused for a moment, staring at a photo of his daughter that he had thrown on the settee next to Laura. Then he moved towards Jess with the knife. Eden rushed at him, pushing him into the wall. He pushed her back and she flew into Amy, who was coming up behind her. Before she could do anything else he was in front of Jess.
Chapter Seventy-Five
‘Stop!’ As Eden rushed to her feet again, Jason started to slice the knife through the tape wrapped around Jess’s feet. He was cutting her loose.
She came round to the side of him, hoping to take the advantage. ‘Give the knife to my colleague, Jason,’ she said. ‘Amy can do that.’
With a shaking hand, Jason gave the knife to Amy. Once he was weapon free, Eden reached for his arms and took out her handcuffs. As she read him his rights, Amy loosened Laura’s hands. Once she was cut free, Laura raced to help Jess. Amy went round to the back of the chair and began to cut the tape at Jess’s hands as Laura pulled the tape from her daughter’s mouth as gently as she could.
‘Mum,’ said Jess, her voice croaky but breaking with emotion.
‘Jess, love.’ Laura ran a hand over her face. ‘Are you okay?’
Jess nodded. ‘I just want to go home.’ As her hands came free, she threw her arms around Laura’s neck.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Jason, standing by the side of the chair as Eden caught her breath after she had cuffed him. ‘I just feel so. . . so. . .’ His shoulders shook as he broke down again and dropped to his knees.
Once her feet and hands were free, Jess tore across the room. Remembering the other knife that Jason had hidden behind the cushion, she reached for it and pulled it out.
‘You fucking bastard,’ she screamed, running at him with it.
‘Jess, no!’ Eden tried to take the knife from her, but as it swung back it sliced the top of her hand. She cried out as blood dripped over the carpet.
Weakened by sitting in one place for so long, Jess dropped the knife. Behind her, Amy kicked it out of the way. Eden sighed with relief.
But Jess, adrenaline fuelled, hadn’t finished. She drew back her foot and kicked Jason in the stomach. He groaned as she kicked him again. The scream that came from her was animal.
‘Jess, stop!’ cried Laura.
Eden grabbed for her arms, frightened and horrified in equal measure at her niece’s rage. ‘It’s over.’
Laura reached for Jess and turned her round, held her tightly in her arms. Jess collapsed into them.
Eden stood there for a moment, catching her breath as three uniformed officers rushed into the room. Two of them took Jason into the kitchen.
‘It’s over,’ said Eden, looking at everyone. ‘You’re safe now, Jess.’
‘I just want to get out of here,’ she whispered, her teeth chattering, her eyes wide.
‘He didn’t. . . do anything to you, did he?’
Jess shook her head. ‘He only attacked me when I went to escape. So I gave it him back.’
A strangled sob escaped Laura, and she began to shake. Eden rested a hand on her arm. Seeing her daughter laying into another person like that must have been a shock. After Jess had been kept captive by this man for nearly two days, Eden had expected her to be scared, vulnerable, anxious. But instead she’d wanted to give as good as she’d got.
‘There’s an ambulance outside.’ Eden ushered them towards the door. ‘We’ll get you checked out. That eye and your lips look sore.’
Jess turned to her and flew into her arms. Eden hugged her fiercely. Her family were back as one again. Well, almost. She pushed back the tears she would cry alone that night and smiled at Laura, holding a hand to her cheek.
Laura put a hand over it and smiled too.
When Sean turned up a few minutes later, Eden was sitting on the steps of the ambulance as a paramedic tended to her wound.
‘You okay?’ he asked.
Eden nodded. ‘Yes, sir, thanks.’
‘Does the hand need checking out?’
‘It’s fine. The cut is superficial and a gauze and bandaging will suffice.’
He stared at her. ‘I told you to wait.’
‘Sorry, sir, but I just couldn’t stay outside.’ She grinned shyly. ‘Did you really think I wouldn’t go in?’
‘No, but that’s not the issue.’
There was a silence between them, but it wasn’t awkward. Eden knew he would have done the same as her in the circumstances, but she was prepared to take her bollocking when it came.
Behind her in the ambulance another paramedic was tending to Jess. She seemed okay apart from a few
bruises and the delayed reaction when shock set in. She’d been lucky. Lots of kidnap victims never came home.
Sean saw them behind her. ‘Go home, get some rest and come back in the morning when you’ve spent some time with your family.’
‘I’m fine, sir.’ She smiled gratefully. ‘Besides, there’s a ton of paperwork to do now. And, if I’m honest, I’d rather keep busy at the moment. How’s Proctor doing?’
‘He’ll live,’ he replied. ‘And that’s the main thing. Did he say why he did it?’
‘I guess he needed someone to blame, so he took Jess so that Laura would listen to him. When he was brought out of the house, he said he intended to take his own life tomorrow but that he didn’t have the guts to go through with it. It would have been his daughter’s sixteenth birthday.’
‘That’s sad.’
‘He might get help now though.’
Amy came walking across to them with two mugs. ‘Tea.’ She gave one to Eden. ‘From Mrs Davies at number 271. Apparently we’ve made her day by something happening next door. And she gets to be on camera. She’s just gone to do her hair!’
Eden rolled her eyes. ‘Some things never change.’
Chapter Seventy-Six
Eden parked the car in the drive, switched off the engine and sat in silence. A huge sigh escaped her. It was good to be home. If things had been different she and Casey would have spent a pleasant afternoon at Laura’s over a delicious Sunday lunch. But at least Jess was safe now.
The day had gone in a whirl of paperwork and interviewing Jason Proctor. Although she could understand that he was grieving, and emotionally unstable because of it, he had been wrong to do what he did. He would have to suffer the consequences. She hoped tomorrow wouldn’t be too painful for him, knowing now that it would have been Ashleigh’s sixteenth birthday. He’d been put on suicide watch until he went in front of the judge.
