by Callie Croix
The surprise meeting turned out to be three hours long and had nothing whatsoever to do with the mysterious encrypted file. No one even mentioned it. Leaving the board room to join the partners for lunch, Becca felt confident she’d done well with the presentation. And if their expressions were anything to go by, she might even have impressed a few of them with the new programs she’d written, Mr. Morales and Ms. Vane included. That could mean only good things for her career at the firm.
She spent the remainder of the afternoon at her desk without any more interruptions. After catching up on the bulk of her emails and finishing up another project, she shut down her computer and headed home, satisfied with all she’d accomplished despite her interrupted schedule. Though she dearly wanted a long soak in her tub followed by a solitary evening curled up with her e-reader, unfortunately that wasn’t an option.
* * *
When the doorbell rang at twenty to seven, Becca sighed and set down her hot curling iron on the bathroom vanity. Her overzealous date was twenty minutes early, and not for the first time she regretted her decision to go out with him tonight. His early arrival confirmed only her suspicion that he was looking forward to this much more than she was.
“Coming,” she called loudly on her way out of the bedroom, pulling up the straps of her little black dress as she hit the upper landing. She jogged down the stairs and fought back the dismay in her stomach when she saw David through the side panels flanking the front door. The reaction annoyed her. She’d agreed to this date and he was a perfectly nice man; might as well make the best of it. Opening the door wide, she put on a smile. “David, hi.”
He smiled back, looking a little uncertain as he stood there in his pale blue dress shirt and charcoal tie. His normally tidy brown hair was mussed, like he’d been running his hand through it, and his gaze seemed a bit troubled. “Hi. Sorry, I know I’m early. Did I interrupt you getting ready?”
No, I always go out on dates with no makeup on and my hair half done. “I was just finishing up. Shouldn’t be much longer.”
“Oh. Want me to wait in the car for you?” Any trace of anxiety disappeared as his hazel gaze swept over the clingy black organza dress that stopped mid thigh. The blatant male appreciation in his stare made her uncomfortable, but she ignored it. She’d bought the dress months ago with the intent of blowing a certain man’s mind but hadn’t had a chance to wear it. It was sexy yet elegant; short enough to show lots of leg yet long enough to be tasteful. Perfect for this sort of fundraiser tonight, and besides, she needed to feel sexy and desirable. It was time to get over her girlish dreams of a future with Reid. She had to let the idea of him go, put herself out there again. No matter how much she dreaded it.
She gestured toward her cozy living room. “No, come on in. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be down in a couple of minutes.” She closed the door behind him and motioned to the overstuffed tobacco leather couch, waiting long enough for him to get settled before heading for the stairs. “I’ll be right down.”
Back up in her room she paused a moment to look at the huge poster bed longingly, wishing she could stay there all night. Right now she wanted to change into her favorite flannel pajamas, crawl under that thick white duvet with her e-reader and forget about having to go out with David. Wasn’t going to happen though.
“Nice attitude,” she muttered to herself, scowling as she crossed the dark, wide-planked flooring to the large walk-in closet at the back. It wasn’t David’s fault her heart wasn’t into this.
From her lingerie chest she pulled out a pair of sheer black thigh highs and added some black lace panties, but with her full curves her dress was snug enough that even the waistband of the thong showed. The hell with it; she’d go commando. An ironic smile curved her lips as she stripped the panties off and tossed them into the laundry hamper. First time in forever she’d gone without underwear, and while it made her feel sexy and feminine, it would all go to waste.
There was only one man she was interested in going to bed with—the one who had already spoiled her for any other—and she hadn’t heard from him in six weeks except for that terse email saying he was fine and they’d talk more when he had time.
She shook her head at herself, annoyed that she’d given him the power to hurt her so badly. While she understood that his job as a SEAL made communication tough, especially when he was away, it was obvious their fledgling “relationship” meant way more to her than it did to him. Well, forget it. She was done with sitting by the phone or computer, waiting for him to contact her. Praying he would. God, she’d been totally pathetic over him. And that horrifically explicit email she’d sent him, detailing one of her most secret fantasies, had been a huge mistake. She wished she’d never sent it.
Pushing aside the hurt bubbling up inside, she drew the sheer silk up her legs, enjoying the sensuous slide of the fabric over her skin, then went to the bathroom to finish her hair. After a few more passes with the curling iron, she ran her fingers through the long locks to give them a tousled look before twisting them up and securing them with a clip, leaving several tendrils around her face. She used a heavier hand than normal with her shadow and eyeliner to give her eyes a more dramatic look then dabbed on some sheer pink gloss, adding a kissable shine to her lips. Not that she’d be doing any of that, but why shouldn’t she enjoy the opportunity to be sexy and get out for a while? It beat moping around the house feeling lonely on a Friday night.
Pausing in front of the mirror, she checked her reflection one last time and found she liked the result of her efforts. The dress clung to her curves, outlining the swell of her breasts. With the dramatic makeup her eyes looked sultry and mysterious. If only Reid could see her now—
Damn it, stop thinking about him.
When she came downstairs, David turned off the TV and stood. Taller than Reid by a few inches and on the skinny side, his hazel eyes swept over her body with a frank male appreciation that made her a bit uneasy. He was a co-worker and just getting over his recent divorce, and she had absolutely no interest in him romantically. She’d agreed to go to the American Cancer Society fundraiser with David tonight out of politeness, after she’d made it clear it wasn’t a date. Only she got the impression David was still hoping to change her mind about that.
Grabbing her evening bag and wrap from the hall table, she pulled a pair of black peep-toe pumps from the hall closet and slipped them on. “I’m ready if you are.”
“That was fast.” He sounded impressed.
“I try. Shall we?” She let him precede her out the door and locked up, pulling her wrap around her shoulders. The late September air held a cool bite that promised rain later. A slight breeze rustled the maple trees lining her damp driveway, their leaves blazing a brilliant scarlet red in the fading sunshine. When David didn’t make a move to take her arm, she felt slightly better about her decision. Maybe he understood she was only going with him tonight to keep him company.
“Thanks again for coming with me,” he said as he led her to his car.
“You’re welcome,” she answered with a smile. This wasn’t so bad, and it was for a good cause. As long as he didn’t try to push her into anything romantic, it would be fine. Her high heels clicked on the concrete stairs as she climbed down them.
David ran a hand through his hair and shot her a sideways glance. “I wanted to ask you if—”
Two steps from the front door, her cell phone rang. David’s expression closed up, the hint of anxiety in his gaze disappearing behind a calm front. What was up with him? Whatever he wanted to talk to her about, it was really bothering him.
“One sec,” she said distractedly. Digging her phone out of her silver handbag, she kept walking toward David’s car, intending to turn it off and let the caller leave a message. When she saw the number on the call display, however, her heart stuttered. She froze midstep in the middle of the driveway, certain her eyes
were playing tricks on her. But no, it was definitely Reid’s number.
Staring at the phone, an invisible fist clamped around her belly. His timing was damn spooky. How could he be calling now? This was the first time she’d even considered going out with another man since meeting Reid at her cousin’s wedding five months ago. They’d spent every possible moment together after that, right up until he’d left for Afghanistan. Then everything had fallen apart.
For a moment she debated not answering but quickly changed her mind. God knew when she’d get the chance to talk to him again and she wanted to know why he was calling. She shot David an apologetic look, pulse drumming hard in her throat. This was so awkward. “I’m sorry, I have to take this.”
David’s face remained oddly shuttered. “Sure, go ahead. I’ll wait in the car.”
When he turned his back she took a couple steps away for more privacy and pulled in a deep breath before answering, fighting back a ridiculous twinge of guilt. What the hell did she have to feel guilty about? She hadn’t done anything wrong, yet part of her felt like she’d betrayed Reid somehow by agreeing to go out with David tonight.
God, you’re being stupid. “Hello?”
“Hi, Becca.” Just the sound of his low voice caused her stomach to flip-flop. It made her remember sweat-dampened sheets and seductive whispers against her skin, of his large hands moving over her body, bringing such exquisite pleasure she was tingling all over from the simple memory of it.
Pressing a hand to her abdomen to stem the butterflies swirling there, she found her voice and held on to her resentment like a shield. “Reid, hi. Where are you?” There was no delay in the line. Was he stateside?
“Just leaving Virginia Beach. I was hoping to see you if I drove out tonight.”
Her eyes widened, partly in shock that he was back and partly at his presumption. He thought he could not speak to her for weeks at a time then come straight over for a roll in the hay when he got back into town?
I don’t think so.
“I can’t.” Though part of her was secretly glad he’d called her and wanted to come over, she had more self-respect than that.
“Can’t?”
“I have plans.” She didn’t bother trying to hide the cool edge to her tone.
Reid sighed. “Bec, I know it’s been a while since—”
“I haven’t heard from you in over six weeks, and when you get stateside you just assume I’ll be waiting around for you to call on a Friday night?” She held back what she really wanted to say, conscious that David was waiting in the car. Now was not the time for this conversation.
“So you are pissed at me.” His voice was flat, clipped, and her temper flared. If either of them had a right to be angry, it was her.
“I think I’m entitled to be.” And rightly so, though she was more hurt than anything else. She’d been reluctant about getting involved with him in the first place due to the nature of his job, and now she wished she’d listened to that cautious voice in her head and stayed clear. It would have saved her a lot of emotional turmoil. “I have to go.”
“Bec, look, I understand why you’re mad, but let me explain. In person.” He paused a moment before continuing softly. “I want to see you. I’ve missed you.”
Maybe it was stupid of her, but his words made her throat tighten. Reid was as alpha male as they came, and that seemingly heartfelt admission couldn’t have been easy for him. It didn’t undo all the hurt though. He’d missed her, yet he’d severed contact with her for the past six weeks. She didn’t understand that. Maybe there was a good explanation for his behavior. If so, she wanted to hear it. Not now though. Definitely not in front of David. When they talked, she wanted plenty of privacy for that discussion.
With effort, she bit back the questions bursting inside her. She’d missed him too, more than she’d ever admit, and the raw ache in her chest was getting worse by the moment. “I can’t see you tonight. I’m just on my way to a dinner and I’m not sure when I’ll be back.” God, now more than anything she wished she could cancel and stay home. He wouldn’t call to say he’d missed her if he didn’t care. She hedged. What if he actually wanted to work everything out and this was her only chance to see him before he left again?
A startled pause met her words. “On a date?” He sounded upset.
She bit her lip then fought back the stirrings of remorse as she mentally slapped herself. He’d been the one to distance himself while he was overseas. When she took her heart out of the situation, Reid had no real claim on her, and they’d never actually talked about being exclusive before he left.
That should have been her first clue. She’d mistakenly assumed they were on the same page relationship-wise.
Becca took a calming breath. He had absolutely no right to be mad, yet the idea that he might be jealous gave her a perverse sense of satisfaction. Still, she wasn’t going to lie just to get a reaction out of him. Playing games like that was immature, stupid and beneath her. “He’s a co-worker and I promised to go to this gala with him.” The stubborn, bruised part of her heart wouldn’t let her come out and say it wasn’t a real date. Not the way Reid meant it, anyhow.
Stony silence filled the line, ratcheting the awkward tension higher.
She quickly filled the void and offered a compromise. “If I’m not out too late I can try to call later on.” Just to talk over the phone. If she saw him in person it would be that much harder to end it. And despite the pain it would cause her, she knew she had to end it.
“Yeah, sure.” His tone was flat, as though he didn’t believe she’d actually call.
Did he think she was giving him the brush-off? Becca frowned. She might be hurt by the way he’d withdrawn from her, but she would never deliberately try to hurt him to get even. She swallowed down the unease rising inside, tightening her fingers around the dainty clutch. “Okay, maybe I’ll talk to you later.” Not that it meant she’d forgiven him. No way.
“Don’t worry about it being too late. Just let me know you made it home safely. You can text me if you don’t want to talk.” Now he just sounded tired.
Despite her lingering annoyance, his concern filled her with warmth. “Will do.” She made the promise before she could talk herself out of it.
“I really want to see you, Bec.”
Might have been wishful thinking, but she thought she detected a note of sadness in his voice. It tugged at her heartstrings. Had he been out in the field these past weeks or on some sort of long training exercise? While she’d expected from the beginning that having a relationship—or whatever the hell this was between them—with an active duty SEAL wouldn’t be easy, she’d never expected this emotional roller coaster so soon. Considering the terrible things that had happened while he was over there, his silence was all the more devastating. For days after the crash she’d been convinced he’d died in it. Yet he’d still managed to find the time to contact his family and some friends. Realizing she didn’t rate the same importance in his life as he did in hers had been hard to deal with.
He owed her an apology for that much at least.
Another sigh from Reid. “Have a good time. Guess I’ll talk to you later.”
A good time? “Sure.” She was looking forward to the gala about as much as she looked forward to her annual pap smear. But she just couldn’t let the conversation end like this. “Reid?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re home safe.” She’d prayed for that every night since he left.
“Thanks. Me too. Take care.”
“I will.”
Once she ended the call and put her phone away, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself before heading to David’s car. She must not have disguised her inner turmoil very well, because he offered her an uncertain smile as he opened the passenger door. When a subtle whiff of his unfami
liar cologne wafted over to her, the knot in her stomach tightened even more. She didn’t want to do this; she wanted to see Reid, now. Find out why he’d been so distant lately and whether she meant anything to him besides a brief affair.
“Sorry about that,” she said with a forced smile.
“No worries.”
Reid’s face swam in her mind. She had to mean more to him than that. He’d treated her with such care, like she mattered to him. He’d been so tender and attentive, and when he’d left he’d kept in what she considered reasonable contact. At first his emails had been so intimate and full of warmth. Then suddenly it had all stopped. Like he’d severed the lines of communication with an ax.
“Everything okay?” David finally asked as he started the engine. “You seem kind of upset.”
She waved away his concern. “No, I’m fine. It was just a friend I haven’t heard from in a while. Apparently he got back into town today.”
“Oh. The guy you’re still hung up on?”
“Yeah.” No sense trying to hide it from David, and with any luck he’d finally get that tonight wasn’t going to lead to anything romantic. Because Reid had been much more than just a friend. Somewhere along the way, she’d fallen in love with him. Now she thanked God she’d never told him. Remembering some of the extremely personal things she’d said in those emails was humiliating enough.
At her response, David’s expression faltered for just an instant before he masked his disappointment. “Sure you still want to go with me?”
No, but he was a nice guy and she’d promised. Plus he’d already paid for their tickets. She would never ditch him like that. “Of course! I’m looking forward to it.” Polite, but not too eager, she thought, hoping it seemed sincere. The evening was already ruined enough without hurting David’s feelings too.
* * *
Sitting on a bench outside the equipment room at the base in Little Creek, Reid lowered his phone to his lap and stared at it in disbelief.
A date. She was on a fucking date with another man.
