“I saw your eyes, Kurt,” she revealed. “I know you can transform. That was you down there, right?”
“Geez,” Kurt said, rubbing the back of his neck, “you ladies are really up on your shifter knowledge nowadays.”
“Oh, I’m not,” Stacey added, palms up in her admission, “I don’t pretend to actually know any.”
Kurt stepped forward, putting his palms against her own. He let his fingers gently interlock with hers.
“Well, now you do,” he crooned.
She leaned forward and planted a very gentle kiss on his lips. When they broke from the moment, she watched the very tip of Kurt’s tongue sneak out and lick his lips. It was a sight that filled her with a tingly feeling, and she kept hold of one of his hands as they began to walk further around the rim of the dirt bowl.
“That’s deep,” she observed, gazing down into the scrub again. “You must be wicked strong to get up that slope.”
“In bear form,” Kurt agreed with a nod. “Humans have no chance, it’s just too high. We do a lot of rescues out here when the hikers come along.”
“You like your work?” Stacey asked. It was a genuine question, and it felt good not to be interrogating for a change.
“I guess,” Kurt replied, looking out to the path ahead. “It’s better than any other job. But, I… No, it’s stupid.”
“Tell me,” she pressed, gently holding his strong, thick arm. “Is there something else you’d rather be doing?”
“Not really,” he said, “I just feel empty sometimes. Like, I have a job and nothing else. I want some excitement, I suppose.”
“You ought to be careful,” she began thoughtfully, “that kind of thinking leads to trouble.”
She’d hit a nerve. It seemed that she couldn’t help her skills from coming through even when she wasn’t trying to draw intel out of a mark. She saw a range of emotions pass Kurt’s face, each threatening to strip him of what was left of his grin. Eventually he let out a sigh, and stopped walking. He stood facing her, as he had on Friday night, and at once she wanted to kiss him again, as deep as before. But there was no thought of kissing on Kurt’s face. He looked pained, and she already knew why.
“Stacey, you’re a nice girl,” he began. “You wouldn’t ever want to go out with a gambler, would you?”
She had to play this one carefully. She took a moment to plan my sentence before she spoke.
“Well it wouldn’t be my first choice,” she began, “but-”
He never let her finish. Kurt nodded and made a little scoffing sound, and he finally let go of her hand.
“That’s what I thought,” he said, even as she tried to speak again. “You know what? We ought to call this off now. I’m… I’m just not good enough for you.”
He was turning and leaving, and Stacey couldn’t bear it. To her own surprise, a huge rush of emotion hit her chest, like he had her heart on a tow-rope and was ripping it out of her ribs with every step. She knew that she had never felt something so powerful before. He was it. He was the thing she’d been looking for all her life.
“I met your grandmother, Anina,” Stacey called after him. “She told me everything yesterday.”
Kurt didn’t stop walking, and Stacey was determined not to let the conversation slide. She raced up after him, just within earshot of his reply.
“She has no business telling people about my problems,” Kurt grumbled, his voice almost a growl.
“But I’m still here,” Stacey urged. “She told me yesterday and I still wanted to see you. It doesn’t matter.”
Kurt stopped, and he spun on the spot. Stacey knew at once that she’d made another mistake.
“Oh, it matters,” he said, the pain evident in every level of his voice. “I’m in too deep to get out, Stacey. I owe a lot of money, and every time I go to try and win it back, I get even deeper in the hole. They’ve got me. It’s only a matter of time before Big Al sends the nasties to come and collect.”
“The nasties,” Stacey repeated. Kurt mistook it for a question.
“Low-life goons who’ve got nothing better to do than ruin other people’s lives,” he explained.
Was that really how he saw her? Stacey tried not to feel the hurt that sank into her heart at his words. He didn’t understand that collectors were people too. We all had a job to do in this world, and as much as she felt sorry for his struggle, it was his debt, his fault really.
“You can’t get a loan from your grandma? Your brother?” Stacey suggested.
Kurt shook his head.
“We don’t have that kind of income to hand,” Kurt said sadly. “It all goes back into the family business. Fairhaven takes a lot of money to run, we’re very nearly a charity.”
“So there’s no way out?” Stacey mused.
When Kurt did not reply, Stacey’s heart gave another stab. One way or another, Big Al always got paid back. On those rare occasions where his debtors couldn’t raise the funds, nasty things had happened. Things that Jack would talk about and Stacey would cover her ears and plead with him to stop. Jack enjoyed being close to such a powerful, dangerous man. If Stacey had known the truth of Big Al when she started working for him, she never would have taken the job. Now, she was in deep too, trapped just like Kurt. If she couldn’t convince him to deliver the money, awful things would happen.
“You really want to help me, don’t you?” Kurt asked. “Stace, you’re nearly crying.”
She hadn’t noticed until he pointed it out, but there was a sting of tears pressing hard against her eyes for release. She had never wanted to help a mark so badly, and Stacey knew that was because Kurt wasn’t a mark. Perhaps he hadn’t ever been a mark, even when she first saw his glorious grinning form among the happy campers. Now, in her private viewing of his serious side, he was just as stunning. He held her arms at the biceps, studying her face carefully.
Then, he leaned in, and she let him take a kiss. It was warm and deep, lingering with pressure on her lips until they opened. Kurt let his tongue slide against hers, their lips locked amid hot breath and fast-beating hearts. Stacey felt her hands rush up the front of Kurt’s shirt, feeling the solid muscles beneath the thin fabric of his uniform. She was racing with nerves, pulsing with desire. Everything could have happened there and then. She felt so much, too much to hold in, like she could only really show Kurt how she felt with her body against his.
He pulled her in hungrily, transferring the kisses to her neck. She felt his hands sliding down her back, warmth spreading everywhere and making her shudder. He was hard too. As she embraced him, she felt the throbbing shaft give her thigh a push. They were alone on the path with the glorious sun beating down, but their passion was rising above even that heat.
“You know when you said you were looking for excitement?” Stacey teased, whispering against his ear.
“Mmmm,” Kurt agreed, his face buried against her collarbone.
But Jack flashed into Stacey’s mind, even as ecstasy overwhelmed her. She would have to stop Kurt soon. There were rules, damnit. She couldn’t account for the wildness of it all, or the way she just knew that Kurt had given her something that no other man would be able to. They both deserved to be treated fairly, no matter how badly she wanted to rip Kurt’s shirt off and vanish into the trees with him.
“We should slow down,” she said, hating herself for having to say it.
It took Kurt a moment for the words to sink in, but he pulled away reluctantly.
“You’re right,” he said, panting. “We’ve got plenty of time. Plenty of dates, right?”
“Of course,” Stacey said with a smile. The pain inside her was phenomenal.
“And don’t worry about what I said about the gambling,” Kurt offered with a grin. “I’ll work on it. It’s my problem, not yours.”
He was so very wrong, and Stacey could tell that he too was hiding pain behind his smile.
It was later that evening when Jack asked Stacey to meet him. There was a lounge bar in a hotel
called the Old Spring Lodge, a fair walk from the campsite. When Stacey found it, there were only a few barflies sitting at a long, polished platform, and beyond that there were some comfortable-looking armchairs. Each pair of chairs had such high backs that they towered over a person’s head. Jack looked like a little boy in the chair he had chosen. He even had the petulant scowl on his face to complete the look.
“What’s wrong with you?” Stacey asked, settling into an opposite chair.
“Tell me about this,” Jack demanded.
He threw a digital camera at her, and it landed hard against her stomach. Stacey fumbled with the display to find that it was focused on one picture. It had been taken only a few hours ago, and it showed her and Kurt wrapped up in each other’s arms. She couldn’t get over how happy she looked.
“You didn’t even tell me that you’d made contact,” Jack accused.
“I…” Stacey began, still staring at the picture. “I didn’t want to scare the guy off, that’s all.”
“You’re sure?” Jack said sharply. “Because you always tell me, Stacey. You’ve never not told me when the first kiss happened before.”
If he knew that that wasn’t even the first kiss, then Jack was going to flip. Stacey decided to keep quiet about that, but she couldn’t look into his dark eyes and lie to him any longer. Kissing Kurt had made her realize what really mattered, and that was the truth.
“Look, I wanted to wait until after the job, so as not to distract you,” she began carefully, “but, I don’t want to do this anymore, Jack.”
As she’d predicted, he wasn’t all that hurt. He blinked the words away and gave a shrug.
“Okay, look, you’re overworked,” he reasoned, “If you need a vacation, I get it. But we’re a team, Stacey. Always have been, always will be.”
“No,” Stacey cut in, as gently as she could manage. “I mean, we’re done. Whatever we are, whatever you want us to be, it’s done. This used to just be a job, but you’ve crossed a line.”
And then she saw a quick flash of rage in Jack’s eyes. She hadn’t been expecting it, because he never showed her his emotions, but now they were flowing clear as crystal in his eyes. She saw a vulnerability there that he hadn’t possessed for a long time, and a confusion and panic that really did make him look like a lost little boy. But in moments, the pain was over. Something dark clouded Jack’s gaze and his face turned emotionless.
Over his shoulder, he said: “I’m out. She’s all yours, Al.”
There were two chairs behind Jack, arranged at another table. Stacey watched two figures rise from those chairs, and she got to her feet too, looking to the first figure with disgust. Big Al Moschino had made his way up from LA to see her, in all his gutsy, greasy glory. His hair was slicked flat to his head, a bad dye job trying to cover grey with jet black, and he wore a suit that must have fit him once, and gradually been stretched over the years. The cigarette hanging from his mouth gave him the appearance of a patchwork walrus with one remaining tooth. He grinned at Stacey, and she looked away, only to find that her shock increased with the second person that she saw.
“You were spying on me?” Kurt asked. “This was all bullshit.”
“See what I told you, buddy,” Jack said to Kurt, his tone harsh. “You gotta watch these women. They’re not to be trusted.”
Stacey wanted to scream, not from fear but from anger. In that moment, she didn’t care what the vicious Big Al might do to her if she stepped out of line, she only wanted Kurt to know that she had never meant to hurt him. They’d gone into their first meeting on the wrong foot, but everything thereafter had been real. She wanted him for his grin, his kindness, his warmth and his truth. She needed him to teach her how to be honest again.
“I wish we hadn’t met this way,” she told him. “I really-”
“Save it,” Big Al snapped. “You can do your lovey-dovey shit later. First, the bear-boy and I have got a deal to strike.”
Jack stepped up to Stacey, hovering beside her like he’d restrain her if he needed to. She could feel the anger coming off him in waves, and at least she felt some small relief that she was no longer going to have to spend time around him. They both watched in fraught silence as Big Al squared up to Kurt. They were both the same considerable height, though Al was much wider round the middle, and Kurt seemed too hurt to be intimidated.
“I’m willing to cut you an offer, Mr. Ruxpin,” Big Al began. “You remember that toy? It was a talking teddy bear. Ahh well, before your time I guess. Well, I can make my seven gees back in one night, taking bets on a high profile fight. If I can get a shifter in to fight, I’ll score a fortune and you’ll be all clear. How does that sound, kid?”
“No,” Stacey said at once. Jack grabbed her wrist and shook his head.
Kurt glanced at her, those gold eyes flashing with hidden pain.
“Who would I be fighting?” he asked.
Big Al shrugged, giving a genial grin. “Just a couple of my boys. No weapons, I swear. Just ropes, you know, to restrain you if they win.”
“How many?” Kurt asked.
“Five?” Al returned.
“Three.”
“Four.”
“Done.”
They shook hands before Stacey could even protest again.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to suggest the venue,” Kurt said. “Fairhaven’s private land, it’d be better for both of us to keep this quiet.”
“Good thinking,” Big Al returned with another grin. “If you were half as good as gambler as you are a dealmaker, you wouldn’t be in this mess. Come on Jack, let’s get organized.”
Stacey waited until they’d left, and then she rushed to Kurt. He stepped away at once when she reached for him.
“Are you crazy?” she demanded. “Big Al Moschino’s not a good guy. You can bet those damn boys of his will be armed up to the back teeth.”
“What does it matter?” Kurt shot back. “It’s my only way out. And it looks like I’ve got nothing left to lose anyway.”
His stern voice broke on the last few words, and Stacey felt her tears returning. She knew it was a mark of how strong their bond was, the fact that she could cry so easily with him. Kurt looked at her, then looked away again at once. If he really wanted to be away from her, surely he’d have already left the deserted bar? He was still standing there, which meant she still had a chance to make things right.
“What we have,” she began, her voice shaking, “what we feel when we’re together, you can’t fake that. I didn’t tell you why I was here, sure, but everything else I said was true. I really do want to help you. There was nothing between me and Jack except him being a creep. You gave me the strength to admit what I really want.”
“What’s that?” Kurt asked, eyes still downcast.
“Something true,” Stacey admitted. “Love.”
The word hung like electricity in the air between them. When Kurt finally turned to face Stacey, she felt her chest rise with the force of impossible hope. He stepped towards her, but did not reach for her. Instead, he tried to grin. It almost made its way onto his face, lighting up some of the shadows there.
“Do you think that’s what we are?” he said softly. “Love at first sight?”
“I didn’t believe it either, until it happened,” she replied.
The fight was two nights later, and Stacey and Kurt had talked and talked in the time in between. They had not shared so much as a hand-holding moment, though, and Stacey knew she’d have to give it some time before Kurt could trust her again. Their conversations were long and winding, learning more about each other every time, but ultimately everything came back to the moment which was looming between them. The fight would decide Kurt’s future, and Stacey’s too. If all went well, they’d be free to start over. If it didn’t… Stacey couldn’t handle thinking about that other option.
Jackson (BBW Secret Baby Bear Shifter Romance) (Secret Baby Bears Book 3) Page 71
