I don’t know if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that you don’t get those until you’re about fifty, right?
“I don’t know, Mom. Whenever I’m around again.” I reply, staring into her ice blue eyes.
She huffs, obviously disappointed in my answer. “You never come around. Not since you moved to Montana.”
“Ma, I came here to visit you for an entire week and a half. It’s the day after New Year’s and I’m just now going back. Don’t act like I never see you ‘cause I always make time. I make it a point to come and visit, unlike Kallie.”
Kallie, my younger sister and the only person who can do no wrong in my mother’s eyes.
“Don’t you bring your sister into this.” She hisses, glaring at me with fury laced in her eyes.
“Whatever Ma, I need to start heading back. I have a long ride ahead of me.” I say, grabbing my small duffel bag from off her living room floor. I managed to squeeze everything I could in there for my stay. Thank goodness I managed to somehow get it to fit. I was worried it wouldn’t have.
“Are you going to stop by and see that Elena on your way back?” Mom spits out Elena’s name like it burns her throat to say.
Sucking in a breath, I debate lying to her. “Yeah, I’m going to see her. But you knew that, didn’t you?”
I turn back to face her, seeing her arms are crossed in front of her chest. “Yeah, and I don’t like her. She made you lose everything. It’s all her doing. The entire reason you lost it all.”
I shut my eyes and shake my head, flabbergasted she still doesn’t understand. I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say it, or how red my cheeks will flush from the way she makes me feel. I could say nothing. I could stand here, take it, and just leave . . . but doing that would be wrong.
“Ma . . .” I can’t keep letting her do this. “Elena didn’t do a damn thing, and you know she didn’t. I made the choice to leave the FBI. I was the one who gave it all up. I didn’t lose a damn thing. I gave it up so I could be happy.”
“Happy?!” She hollers, throwing her hands up in the air. “What kind of woman looks like you and is happy?!”
Well, I don’t know how I’m supposed to react to this one.
I remain quiet, letting her continue.
“You changed everything about yourself, Kristie. Everything I loved about you, you went off and changed into this person . . . this person I hardly recognize. Yet, you stand here and tell me you’re happy.”
“Person you hardly recognize? Ma. Listen to yourself. God, I am happy. I know you’re having a really hard time coping with that. I’m sure it must be extremely difficult to tell your ladies at church that your daughter went from working for the government, to becoming a biker. The stares. The judgmental looks. It must all just be so much.” I really don’t give a shit about any of this, but I’m certain based on the way she’s been acting that she’s getting some sort of odd treatment here. It would only make sense.
“Exactly. You have no idea how Doris and Lucille treat me now. They won’t even let me contribute for the bake sales or help them out for anything at church. Don’t you see, Kristie? Your decisions are ruining my life.”
What I’m about to do is going to ruin whatever sort of relationship I have with my mother, but, I’m going to let it. Who knows, it might help her in the long run. After all, I’m such a disgrace.
“I see. I see plain and clear, Ma. Don’t you worry, though, ‘cause your black sheep of a daughter is going to retreat back to Montana and not bother you anymore. Maybe when your good pals hear about that, they might let you back into their inner circle. That would make you happy? Wouldn’t it?”
Her eyes go wide from the shock. We both know I’m right but she doesn’t want to admit it. She wants to be the person who believes her kids are more important than anything else, but we both know that’s not the case. To her, her life here trumps her kids.
Picking up my duffel, I push her storm door open and hear it slam as I make my way over her stone path, heading over to my bike. I need to get out of here, to feel the wind against my skin as I head down the interstate.
I promised Zane I’d be back in another week, and he understood I needed to go see Elena, Reed, and the kids. Before I know it, I’ll be back on the road, headed to Montana. I wanna soak up every second I can, ‘cause man does time fly or what.
Chapter Two
It takes both sides to build a bridge
~ Fredrik Nael
Crina
I’m doing this. I’m really doing this.
“You okay?” Sorin asks, looking down into my eyes.
I nod at my older brother. “Yeah, just ready to get this over with. I don’t want to be here.”
“I don’t blame you, but, if you want to keep him safe you need to do this.” He’s right and I know it. Our older brother, Mircea, threatened to hurt the man I care for immensely and his entire family. I discovered he’s important to the French crime world and his family has been in hiding here in the United States since he was a small boy. I don’t have all the information, but I don’t need it. The information is irrelevant to me, because my heart led me to this decision.
Our brother is in New York chasing after his newest conquest, Bianca Petran. She’s the heiress to the Romanian Mafia and our brother was recently inducted as one of the primary Clan families. Quite a few years ago a member was killed and they never filled his spot. I think it was because his niece was his heir and could run the Clan, but her husband was murdered and now she needs to run his Clan until their children are old enough to lead.
Sorin opens the door and steps inside, waiting for me. He’s wearing a fitted, black tux and I’m in a red ensemble. My brothers and I have interesting relationships. Sorin and I are much closer than Mircea and I, but it’s only because Mircea is a selfish bastard. All in all, he’s a dick.
Sorin was able to obtain an invitation for me to have dinner with him, our father, his mother and my mother. God, even thinking about it causes my stomach to roll. Our family is dysfunctional as they come. My mother being a longstanding mistress, and Sorin’s mother being the head bitch in charge, I guess. Like I said, dysfunctional.
I follow my brother’s lead and we go inside. He shuts the door behind me and we walk into the formal living room where I spot our father, drinking a scotch. “Crina, to be honest, I thought you wouldn’t show up.”
“I said she was coming,” Sorin gently reminds him.
His eyes dart to my brother. “Yes, well, after the show she put on last time I assumed she wanted nothing to do with us.”
Yeah, I want nothing to do with a man who wants to marry me off to the highest bidder. I’m a woman, not a piece to play your game of chess.
“I could get to the point, and go off on my way, if you’d prefer.” I speak up, looking to our father.
He narrows his eyes in on me and settles comfortably back in his armchair. This is his exact location every night before dinner. Drinking a glass of scotch has become a staple for his evening routine.
“Whatever comes out of your mouth next will determine if you’re welcome here, daughter.”
Well, what a ballsy motherfucker we have today.
I suck in a deep breath and look at him, trying to figure out how to make this faux apology seem real. The only way I can think about pulling it off is if I have some sort of truth mixed in with it, so this is my chance. “Let me make this clear, so you don’t get things twisted. I didn’t come here because I’m broke or need money. It’s not because of that, and I’m not asking for help, nor do I want it.”
Our father nods his head as he listens.
“I came to apologize because of my reaction to what you were trying to do. It upset me, and rightfully so. I’m not a woman to be passed off to another family. In this day and age, things like this shouldn’t ever happen and my rage clouded everything I was trying to convey. I’m sorry for my temper, and that things came out in such a . . . foul way.” Half of what I’m saying is
true, while my apology is as fake as they come. My father is as much of a dick as my eldest brother. The only reason I’m doing this is to keep Chaz and his family safe. None of them deserve the hellfire my brother will bring down on them.
“I accept your . . . backwards apology, my dear. You are my daughter after all.” He smirks.
Yet, it’s funny how I’m only important when it’s convenient for him. It’s always been the way things have worked, though. Bastard children do that to you, I guess.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” I state, keeping the façade up for however long is needed.
“Now, come and sit with us. Dinner is about ready and we have a few things to discuss as a family.”
“Mircea isn’t here though,” I point out.
He nods with a smirk. “No, he isn’t. And I doubt he’ll be coming back, but that’s something I can discuss with you both in a few minutes after we get started on dinner.”
Sorin looks at me with curiosity in his eyes. He knew I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, but this is too good to pass up. I am one nosey bitch, and my brother here is as bad as I am with it.
Chapter Three
“Every morning we get a chance to be different. A chance to change. A chance to be better. Your past is your past. Leave it there. Get on with the future part.”
~ Unknown
Cheyenne
With every day that passes, I start to feel a bit more comfortable here. I don’t feel like someone has their hands wrapped around my throat. Anxiety is a funny feeling. It makes you feel fear like you’ve never felt before, sure to come swooping in whenever it’s the most inconvenient moment ever.
“Morning, Cheyenne,” Roxy says. She’s the oldest ol’ lady at the club. She’s in a unique relationship with Tex, Dracus, and Bolt. Kat is actually her daughter, and she has two teenagers, Jordyn and Nova.
“Morning,” I reply, offering a smile. I’m still the new kid on the block, so I need to make sure people like me.
It felt weird like this back in Las Vegas when I first arrived there as well. But here it’s crazy different. Maybe it’s because I had Sakura, the fact we were both in the same field and very like-minded. Here I don’t have that. They have girls like the Bad Bunnies. They work for Octavia’s company, taking artistic nude photos of themselves and posting them online to this platform. Some of the women double as clubwhores.
Essentially, there’s no one here that sticks out too much to me. No one I immediately want to be friends with. God, that probably sounds bad. Everyone here seems nice enough, especially the ol’ ladies. I’ve met Roxy and Octavia, obviously. But I’ve also met Ashley, who’s Blackjack’s ol’ lady, and Grim’s ol’ lady, Natalie. When I formally met Zane, I walked out into the club when she was telling Grim she’s pregnant. The man was jumping for joy, thrilled beyond measure. But since then, things have been relatively quiet.
“I hate to do this to you, but I think Jordyn caught something. Would you mind taking a look at her?” Roxy asks, with a bit of worry in her eyes.
“Of course. Is she at your house down the road?” Roxy lives with her family a little ways down the lane. I’ve heard Blackjack and his family have a house that overlooks the lake, but I haven’t been that far back yet.
“No, I lugged her in the car with me. Do you want me to bring her inside?”
“No, we’ll leave her in there. Just in case it’s contagious. Don’t want to spread it. You know?”
Roxy nods, and I start to walk toward the door. A couple of the prospects come in, brushing bits of snow off their jackets and boots as they do. It irritates me, like kids who need to be told better. Ignoring them, I grab my jacket from the coat rack a couple feet away and head outside, passing the group of them.
Roxy’s SUV isn’t parked too far off, so I walk right up to it, with the momma goose right on my tail. Jordyn rolls down her window with a half-smile. It’s obvious the girl is forcing it out, though. Poor kid. “What’s going on, sweetie?” I ask. I have a feeling by asking a few simple questions I’ll be able to figure out what’s going on.
“My entire face hurts. It’s like Nova punched me in the face, all up in here.” Jordyn points to right above her eyes and below them. Sinuses. They’re the worst when they hurt.
“Okay, anything else besides the pressure?”
“Yeah, lots of snot. Green and clear.”
Green is never good. “Okay, right off the bat I want to get you on some antibiotics. It’s likely you have a sinus infection based on the symptoms. How are your ears?”
“They ache, really bad at night. It’s when they pop the most.”
I nod, “Likely from pressure changes. Are you having headaches?”
“No, thank goodness. I don’t think I could bear it.”
“Alright, well, that’s a good sign,” I tell her, digging into my coat pocket I grab my script and write down an order for amoxicillin. Handing it immediately over to Roxy. “Go get this filled. The sooner, the better. What she’s feeling isn’t comfortable. And you,” I glance back to Jordyn. “You drink hot tea, put warm wash cloths on your face and do a bit like that. Okay? It won’t make it go away overnight, but it’ll help with some of the issues you’re having.”
“Thanks, Cheyenne,” Jordyn responds.
“Yes, thank you so much.” Roxy tells me.
“Crap.” I mutter.
“What is it?” Roxy questions.
“Don’t get this filled yet. I’m not licensed in the state yet. But, I heard a rumor there was a woman who helped the club out quite a few years ago? One who is licensed?” I ask Roxy.
She nods.
“Okay, give me her number and I’ll let her know the rundown. Hopefully she’ll call in a script for you at the pharmacy in town.” It’s the only idea I have, so I hope it works out.
“Okay, sure. Here it is,” Roxy hands me her phone and I tap the woman’s number in my contacts. I’ll give her a call in a little while.
“Perfect. Thank you.” Let me know how she’s doing in a couple days or if she has any problems, okay?” I ask.
“Yes, we will.” Roxy promises.
Roxy goes around her SUV and hops into the driver’s seat. Within a minute she’s on her way with her daughter, and I’m rubbing hand sanitizer on my hands.
Taking in a deep breath, I look out onto the beautiful Montana landscape. It’s been snowing practically every day since I’ve been here. I love the sight of snow, the peaceful serenity it provides. Eventually, I know I’ll feel like I belong here. One way or another, it’ll happen. I’m just so damn scared my brother is going to find out I’m here, that he’ll grow paranoid and think I’ll tell their secrets.
I wouldn’t ever, because the only thing it will bring is mayhem. He’s so good at faking the type of man he is to other people. My theory for his success in pulling it off is because people don’t stick around long enough to see what he’s really like. They don’t sense the monster beneath the surface, because he’s so damn good at what he does.
If you ask me, he’s as dangerous as Grizzly Jones was when he was alive.
Hell, he might even be worse.
The point is, I can’t have him know I’m here, and I sure won’t ever willingly let it get around. If my brother were to ever find out I’m working with the Reapers after how I told him I’d never work with an MC, even his . . . he just might kill me.
God, I need to do everything I can to keep Boomer from knowing I’m here.
Chapter Four
Don’t worry about the people who aren’t happy for you. They probably aren’t happy for themselves either.
~ Unknown
Frost
Not all family has to share the same blood as you. That’s what I’ve told myself since I started this journey. In the beginning I had a lot more hope when it came to my mother accepting me, for making choices that would alter my life, but in the end, they’d make me a happier person for it. I prepared myself for this outcome, and yet it cuts throug
h me like a searing hot knife.
“She might come around,” my best friend, Elena, says. She’s trying her best to make things easier, to give me a small semblance of hope.
I shake my head, “No, she won’t. It doesn’t matter though. This is for the best. For her and me.”
Elena cranes her neck to the side, “You don’t really mean that, Kristie.” She’s one of the only people who can get away with calling me Kristie now. Everyone in my life knows me as Frost, not as Kristie. She was the woman who worked for the FBI, who put other’s needs above her own, no matter what the cost. I never had a problem doing that back then but look where it’s put me now. Nearing my forties, with nothing to show for it except the club. I figured I might at least have a steady girlfriend by now. Instead, I’m practically starting over.
I’m a prospect with the Reapers MC’s Billings, Montana charter. At my age, I should be a full patch now. Yet, here I am, doing the grunt work with the rest of the newbies. At least I have a little bit of time on them.
“Kristie, don’t be so negative. You two might be able to turn things around.” Elena is trying her best to be the supportive friend I need right now, but what she fails to realize is I need her to agree with me, to help convince myself that I made the right choice, I said the things I needed to. All of that.
“Elena. I love you but stop. I don’t want to give myself false hope. Not when so much has happened between us. She’s always been a judgmental person, and when I changed who I was or whatever, it really fucked with her. She wasn’t ever supportive of me being a lesbian, so maybe this was the last straw.”
Frost (Reapers MC Book 15) Page 2
