“God, what did you do?”
Bea places a hand on her hip, “I grabbed a bottle of vodka and slammed it against that handsy fucker’s head. What do you think I did?”
I bust out into laughter, “I bet Gia loved that.”
“Gia is in Los Angeles right now, and I don’t give a fuck if she, Briar, Diem, Emma, or anyone else has an issue. If they’re going to open up memberships for more elites, then they need to make sure they’re looking into these people’s behaviors.”
“Elites?” I question, never hearing the term before.
“Yeah, it’s a new type of membership we have at the club. They’re on a tiered system. Diem and Emma’s idea, I think. Those two usually put their heads together and come up with some pretty solid stuff, but they have some kinks they need to fix.” She tells me as she walks over in my direction and slumps down into the armchair in our apartment.
“Yeah. Where are Fern and Tildi?”
Bea cranes her neck, “You know exactly where they are. Getting some hot lovin’. Not that I can blame them. I mean, hello. We all need some every now and again.”
Ugh, I hate she said that. I’ve been feeling particularly needy the last couple days.
“Chaz still not talking to you?” Bea questions, cocking a brow.
She’s automatically going to be on my side, but I did screw up here. If I told him what I did before we got together, things might be different right now. “No. I haven’t texted him, though.”
She rolls her eyes, “I really don’t like him. Have I said that lately?”
“Bea, I screwed up here.” He has every right to be pissed at me, but I didn’t think it would be like this.
“You fucked his dad before you were together. So what? It’s not a big fucking deal! Jesus! You’re a catch. Gia lost out, and now this fucktard is going to as well, and you know what? It’s his loss!”
Ding Dong.
The doorbell to our apartment rings out of nowhere. Bea and I stare at each other for a moment before she rises and heads over. Neither of us are expecting anyone, so, this is a bit odd.
“How’d you get up here? You don’t have a key.” Bea has her bitchy tone on, so whoever’s on the other side isn’t a fan of hers. At this point I get up from where I’m sitting on the couch and go over, but as I pass the island, I’m a little bit blown away by who’s here.
“Chaz?” My heart sinks down into my asshole, or at least it feels that way.
“Hey, can we talk?” He questions.
“Uh, no. Get out, dude.” Bea snaps.
“I wasn’t asking you. I’m asking Crina,” Chaz growls.
If he’s here, it has to be a good thing. Right? For fuck’s sake, I’m falling for him so hard. If this is something good, I need to give it a chance. “Yeah, come on in.”
“Seriously? Jesus. I’m getting out of here, ‘cause I’m about to slice your damn throat open. You deserve someone better than this asshole.” Bea yells, obviously frustrated by my choice.
“Bea!” I snap her name. This is totally uncalled for.
Chaz puts a hand up, “Nah, it’s fine. She’s sticking up for you, and she should. You’re a good woman, Crina, so I can’t blame her.” His voice shakes a little near the end and for the first time since I’ve seen him, I’m not so nervous.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
He nods, “Yeah, I just . . . I realized after I took some time to clear my head that I fucked up. I was reacting out of emotion. Wasn’t thinking clearly. You didn’t do anything wrong, Crina. This was before we were together, before I took you as my ol’ lady, and . . . I shouldn’t have acted like that. It was shitty of me, and I’m sorry. I’m real fuckin’ sorry and I hope you forgive me for the way I treated you.”
“About damn time!” Bea cheers, smiling widely. “Alrighty, I’ll leave y’all to do whatever it is you’ll be doing.” Chaz comes inside as Bea goes into the hall. She shuts the door to our apartment behind her.
Chaz and I stand across from one another for a minute or two, just breathing, taking this in, I guess. “I’ve missed you.” My thoughts somehow slip right through my lips, and I look into his eyes, hoping to see he’s been longing for me as well.
“Ditto, Crina. Fuckin’ ditto . . . but I need to tell you something. I thought about keeping it from you but . . . shit. If I do it’ll only get us back on the wrong foot again.”
“Keeping secrets isn’t good for us,” I murmur, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
“Yeah.” He nods, glancing to the floor. “Can we sit down?”
God. That’s a sure sign that whatever he has to say isn’t good.
“I . . . I’d rather not, but, before you do . . . I need you to tell me where we stand.”
He nods, “If you’re asking me if we’re still together, I’m gonna tell you I hope so. I take back all the shit I said to you when I was upset. I won’t make excuses for me, ‘cause I was the one who fucked up, not you. We weren’t dating at the time you . . . ya know . . . so I have no right to be upset at you for it. Shit, Crina, I didn’t wanna tell you shit like this . . . but, I haven’t been able to stop fucking thinking about you. Every time I shut my eyes, I see you, peering through those damn glasses you have when you’re on the laptop, writing away. I see you with that playful smile tugging at your lips, or I fucking hear your laugh. I’ve missed you so fucking much, and now I’m standing here, hoping you don’t throw me out the damn door. ‘Cause I did something I shouldn’t have.”
The breath escapes my lungs, and I’m terrified for whatever he’s about to say. “Whatever you did, we weren’t together. The day you got pissed at me, you said we were done . . . so we were done. You feel me? Today, we’re back together again . . . so whatever you did. We’re good, because . . . I think I know what you’re trying to say, and I don’t want to know who it was with. Especially, if I’m going to see them every day. I can’t know who . . . because I’ll slam her fucking head into the counter of the club until I’ve knocked every fucking tooth out.”
Chaz starts to open his lips but stops.
We stand here, quiet, not saying a fucking word. Minutes pass us by before he speaks up again. “We’ll start fresh, then? Forget that you fucked my dad, and I fucked who I did. A new slate?”
I nod, “Yeah. I think that’s for the best.”
“Okay. I . . . um, I got a promotion with the club, but I turned it down.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Zane, our national charter Prez. He offered me a VP position in Mexico, but I turned it down, Crina.”
“What? Why?”
Chaz closes the distance between us, cups the sides of my cheeks and slams his lips onto mine, kissing me like it’s the last time. He pulls away, his eyes staring into mine. “Because of this. I don’t know how you did it, but I can’t fucking imagine my life without you.”
Jesus Christ.
I’ve never felt anything like this.
I’ve never felt the way Chaz makes me feel . . . and my God, I never want to lose what we have, even if it’s not perfect.
We’re imperfect for each other if you ask me.
“There’s something else I need to tell you,” I murmur, a bit afraid of what he’s going to think. For goodness sake, I did this to protect not only his family, but him as well.
Chaz draws his brows together, appearing to be a bit worried. “It doesn’t matter what it is. You can tell me.” Jesus. It’s like he knows I’m nervous about saying this. This is the reason we’re fighting for what we have, because while we might be catastrophic, we were made for each other. He’s the oil to my flame.
“I met with my father and apologized to him. I . . . made things right in my own way to keep you and your family safe.”
Chaz scrunches up his nose a bit, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“My brother, Mircea . . . he knew who your family was back in France. He threatened to expose your whereabouts to the new boss if I didn’t comply with his dem
and, which was apologizing to my father . . . so I did what needed to be done.”
“Jesus . . ,” He doesn’t seemed pleased with what I did, but I needed to do it, and I hope one day he can see that.
“I know you’re probably thinking this was a bad idea, how I didn’t need to apologize and all that . . . but if it means we’re a bit safer, I don’t care. Mircea is pursuing the princess of the Romanian mafia and it looks like his endeavors to capture her heart are working.”
“Which means your family will now be one of the most feared mafia families in the world,” Chaz puts the pieces together.
I nod, “Yes, and my father had a heart-to-heart with me in a way. He said he knew that we wouldn’t ever be involved in the Romanian mafia, but asked for me to live peacefully, without causing a ruckus and whatnot for my brothers, or him.”
“How kind of him,” Chaz scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“My family is screwed up. I can’t deny that, not in the least bit . . . but, one thing I love is to have this peace of mind. You and I . . . we have enough chaos going on around us, Chaz. I’m okay with this, so I hope you will be too.”
Chaz inhales sharply before pulling me against his chest, holding me closely against him. I listen to the sound of his heart beating and know no matter what, we have the power to get through anything.
Chapter Fifteen
Being in love in this generation is terrifying. People often choose having a good time versus having a good thing.
~ Unknown
Chaz
“Yo, you called?” Razor’s finally called me back after waiting another week. It’s the end of January now for fuck’s sake. Yet this dude can’t pick up his phone to save his fuckin’ life. We’ve been playing phone tag since I left Zane’s, which was what, three weeks ago? Four? Fuck. I’ve lost count.
“Yeah, a couple weeks ago or something. What the hell have you been doing?”
“That’s for me to know, brother.” Razor’s sinister laughter fills the other end of the line and I roll my eyes.
“Alright, I’ll get straight to the point then. You heard the Reapers have gone international?”
“No shit. Really?” His tone sounds excited, like he’s been blown away.
“Yep. Damon’s sister, Amara, is running the club in Mexico. She’s snagging some members for her club as we speak. Loyal people. We’re not just picking anyone, not after all the shit went down. Betrayals, rats, all that.”
“Understandable. Most people aren’t taking strangers into their club without some serious digging. As a matter of fact, I heard there’s a prospect up in Montana whose dad is a pretty sick fucker. I find it interesting he went all the way up there.”
“What? Who?” I question. Shit like this never makes me feel good. We don’t need another Roach situation. He was one of the most known rats the Reapers ever had, and we don’t like rodents.
“Bama.”
“How the fuck do you even know Bama is a prospect up there?”
“I know everything. Remember, Chaz? I’m quite resourceful.” Razor chuckles again.
“Which is why I’m calling you, and I’m glad we’re talkin’ about Montana. Zane wants to meet with you.”
“Does he now? Why would that be?” From the mischievous tone of his voice, I can tell he’s curious.
“I may have told him a Nomad friend of mine would be a great fit as the VP for our Mexican charter. How he’s loyal, trustworthy, and a good man.”
“No shit. Why’d you go and do that? You ever think I wanna be on the sidelines? That I like bein’ a loner, brother?” He can play that card with me, but he forgets I know him better.
Razor was a friend of mine when Lauren died, when I went off the ledge. We met in a bar right before she died and he was the reason I didn’t kill myself after she did. Fuck, I was hurting so bad, and I pray I never experience a pain like that ever again.
“Cut the shit and go meet him. It’s okay if it’s not straight away, but swing by Montana and go talk to him about it. Razor, you’d be perfect for it . . . plus, if I can recall you love the hot weather, and where there’s hot weather there’s—”
“Hot women,” Razor laughs his ass off.
“Exactly. So, what do you have to lose? Worst case you make a trip up to Montana and sleep with one of the Vixens.”
“Whoa. Hold up. Vixens? Like the virtual ones on that website? The hot nudie photos?”
“Yep, and here I thought you knew everything.”
“You fucker! You could’ve started with that shit you know!”
“So, I’ll tell Zane you’ll be up to see him?”
“Yeah, what the hell. Like you said, I have nothing to lose.”
“Awesome. I’ll let Zane know. When will you be there?”
“Eh, gimme a month. I have some loose ends I wanna tie up. Okay?”
“Sure thing, Razor. And listen, thanks for calling I appreciate it man.”
Razor ends the call and I know he’s done chatting with me. He’s never been one for big goodbyes or whatever. I get up from the couch in my living room and toss my phone on it before going down the hallway to the master bedroom. Pushing the door open, I see Crina sitting on the edge of the bed. Her hair is falling down in her face and she’s got a piece of chalk in one hand, with her other one over her face, covering her eyes.
I walk in, getting a little closer to her and see her face is flushed. That sorta pink flamingo color. But as I get closer to her, I realize that isn’t chalk.
“Babe?”
She pulls her hand away from her face and looks at me, “I’m pregnant.”
No.
There’s no way.
But as I try to deny it, I realize I can’t. I didn’t use a condom with her. Not one time. I barebacked it all the way, shot my seed all the way in her over and over again, called her my cumslut. Jesus Christ.
Crina is pregnant.
Crina is fucking pregnant.
I breathe in and out slowly processing what she’s said and remember Crina wasn’t the only one I fucked bareback. Cheyenne was too . . . but there’s no way it would even be a risk with her. She’s a nurse practitioner. She’d be on birth control. Crina just doesn’t have medical insurance . . . so it makes sense how we let it happen.
Fuck, if there’s a God . . . he’ll give me a break. I don’t want Crina to ever have to find out Cheyenne was the one I slept with. It would wreck her. No, scratch that.
It would wreck us.
“Do you want me to get rid of it?” Her sob filled question pulls me out of my own head. I dart over to her and kneel on the ground, grab her hands with mine and look into her beautiful eyes.
“No, folle. I’m so fucking happy. I’m just shocked. No, I’m surprised.” I let go of her and wrap my arms around her back, pull her stomach to my face and press chaste kisses against her belly. Fuck. I never thought I’d have another child after I lost Lauren and Eli . . . but I’m thankful for this second chance.
“I’m terrified, Charlie.” Crina admits, sobbing over and over again.
I stand up and wipe away her tears, “Shh, folle. Relax. Everything will be okay. We will get through this together.”
Chapter Sixteen
There are wounds that never show on the body, that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.
~ Laurell K. Hamilton
Cheyenne
It feels like I got here yesterday, but in all reality it’s been a few weeks and I’m settling in nicely. How the time came and went, leaving us at the end of January is blowing my mind. Hell, I thought I’d dread being here, but instead time is flying by. I guess that really means I’m enjoying being here. Funny how that happened, right?
The club here has kept me busy between idiotic moments like Bull slicing his hand open, to Noelle busting her ass on the ice. Then again, a lot more of the club members up here have families. I’d like to say kids are more prone to getting hurt, but in all actuality, the adults are just as bad. Then again, I’
m dealing with men who don’t think shit through. Stubborn bikers will never change.
Zane rented me a small clinic in the heart of Billings, but I informed him I have a few more days before I’m officially licensed yet in the state. It should be Monday before I get the all clear, and considering my amazing record, everything should be crystal clear. When I moved to Nevada, things were a lot easier. Shoot, the Nevada board reviewed everything and processed it relatively quickly, while up here they haven’t. Although, that didn’t stop Zane from renting me a place.
He told me we could let it sit for now, how we’d do some renovations to it so it’s up to my standards. When we first went inside the place, it was a wreck, and I mean an absolute disaster. Apparently, it had been sitting vacant for a while, so we got an amazing deal on it. Last week we went inside for the first time, but the doors hanging off their hinges, and the odor of moth balls was enough to make me gag. I had to get out of there before I threw up.
Since then Zane had a couple guys come in and clean the place up. It was hardly recognizable yesterday with the torn up floors and fresh walls with plaster. I met with the foreman on the job and he asked what I wanted, so I told him. Zane might’ve had to push me a bit to get it through my head this clinic is mine and it should look just as I want it to. So, I told him I wanted light gray walls, with a dark chocolate or dark gray laminate. Not only that, but I wanted accents of matte black anywhere I could get them, specifically on the noise cancelling modern barn doors. They’ve been a dream of mine to have in a clinic, offering beautiful interior design with a modern twist. As long as all of this will be met, I’ll be like a kid in a candy shop.
Needless to say, getting certified in the State of Montana and the clinic up and running has been taking a lot of my time. When I’m not handling those issues, I’m usually around the club hanging around, or I’m in my house with the kittens. They’re getting so big, and Bull comes over every day to play with Tigger. Hell, Alexa came to meet the kitten the day of and wasn’t sold on it at all. It took her about a week to come around, but if you ask me, seeing her ol’ man turn into a literal ball of smush was enough to seal the deal.
Frost (Reapers MC Book 15) Page 7
