by E. L. Todd
“I already did.” She pushed past a man in a suit and spilled his coffee. “He’s too strong.”
“We’ll see about that.” He breathed heavily into the phone. “I’m almost there.”
“I’m right outside the building.” She turned around and saw Vance lock his eyes onto her. He looked determined to kill her. But he also looked confused. She stayed on the phone and listened to Toby run.
“Where is he?” Toby immediately put his hand around her waist and searched through the mob.
Abby turned to him and put her phone away. “He’s headed this way.”
Toby looked in her direction. “Which one is he?”
“He’s wearing blue.” She searched in the crowd but didn’t see him. “He was just here…” Her eyes darted across every face, searching for the green eyes she knew so well. “Where did he go?”
Toby scanned the sea of people, searching for anyone suspicious. “Are you sure it was him?”
“Yes,” she snapped. “I don’t kick random people in the nuts.”
“Good.” He kept his hand on her waist and searched for him. “He must have run when he saw me.” He lowered his hand. “And I don’t blame him.” His eyes were still peeled.
She sighed. “He always was a coward.”
Toby dropped his hand and put it in his pocket. The loss of his touch broke her heart. She needed to feel that embrace. “I don’t think you should go home. He might be watching you.”
‘Then what do I do?”
“Come with me,” he said. He walked back into his building, and she followed behind. When they walked into his apartment, Toby bolted all the locks. “He’d be stupid to come after you now.”
She dropped her brave façade now that she was off the street. She covered her face and took a deep breath. The room started to spin as she relived all the horrible things Vance did to her. Every beating and every word thudded in her mind, reverberating indefinitely.
“Abby?”
She didn’t respond.
Tony grabbed her hands and pulled them down. He’d been a jerk to her for the past few weeks, acting like he didn’t care for her anymore. He even slept with someone else. But now his face was different. The emotion in his eyes returned, as well as the zest he had before. He looked pained, like someone just stabbed him. “It’s okay. You’re safe here.”
She lifted her gaze and met his. “I’m fine. I’m just…tired.”
“Then are you crying?”
“I am?” She touched her cheek. The moisture clung to her fingertips. The tears were warm from her tear ducts. She stared at the droplet on her index finger. Seeing the water made her angry with herself. She promised herself she wouldn’t feel this way again. She rubbed her fingers together and dissolved it. “I’m fine.” Her voice chocked slightly. She cleared her throat and spoke again. “I’m fine.”
Toby placed his hand on the back of her neck then pulled her to his chest. His other hand immediately moved around her waist. The sudden embrace surprised her. She never expected to receive any sympathy from him. “Don’t be scared. I’m here. And as long as I am, he’ll never get to you.”
The solid feel of his chest made her melt. She sighed deeply, longing for the moment to last forever. When his chest rose, she felt the expansion of his lungs. She thought about the time they made love, and the sight burned her heart.
Toby moved his fingers through her hair then rest his head on hers. He didn’t speak, but comforted her with his touch and presence. Abby didn’t appreciate his touch until that moment. His fingers caressed her in just the right way. Her heart started to ache as her pulse raced. They weren’t being intimate, but it was the most meaningful experience she ever had. She never bared herself to someone before, telling them exactly how she felt, what she was scared of, or what she wanted. It was the moment she knew what she wanted—really wanted.
She dug her fingers into his side as she held him. Her hands started to shake. “I love you.”
His fingers stilled. They were still grasped in her hair, but they stopped in the middle of the strand.
Abby held her breath and waited for him to respond, to say something.
Toby pulled away. His fingers left her hair and his hand dropped from her waist. He ran his fingers through his hair then stepped back, not knowing what to do with himself. “You should stay here tonight. I’ll take you home in the morning.”
Abby stared at him, unsure what he said. “What?”
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t follow you. We’ll take an extremely elaborate route so we can shake him.”
It was like she hadn’t just bared his heart to him. “Toby, I said I love you.”
“And I heard you.” His softened expression disappeared. “We’re over. Did you think I was lying?”
“No…but I thought you’d feel differently. I’m sorry about everything. I know I picked Fernan, but now I understand I picked him for the wrong reasons.” She felt the panic rise. She let her past ruin her life, and now Toby was gone because of it. “Please give me another chance.”
“No.” He sat on the couch and looked at the TV. “You only want me because you can’t have me.”
“No, that’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.” His voice was calm and cold. “I don’t want to talk about this ever again. You walked out that door after I gave you my heart, Abby. I made my decision clear. I will not let you walk all over me.”
“I won’t walk all over you.” Her voice came out frantic. “I’m sorry and I’ll be different from now on.”
He shook his head slightly. “Abby, you don’t know what you want. You only feel emotional because you’re scared. Stick with your choice. Fernan is what you chose.”
“And now I choose you.”
Toby rubbed his hands together. The veins and tendons were evident, contrasting against his skin. “If you really felt that way, you wouldn’t be fucking Fernan.”
“I’m not,” she said firmly.
“You’re still with him.”
“That’s not true either.”
His eyes narrowed in anger. “Lying isn’t helping your story, Abby. Knock it off.”
“I’m not!”
He held up his hand. “I’m done with this. You already broke my heart once and I can’t do it again. Drop it.”
Abby wanted to argue, to beg for another chance, but she kept her mouth shut. It was clear that Toby made up his mind.
The silence stretched for a long time. Abby stood beside the couch, feeling her pulse blare in her eyes. Toby remained on the couch, unsure what to do. Abby wanted to be held again.
“How did he find you?” he asked.
“He ran into me at the bar. I don’t think he was looking for me.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at a picture of him and Paul. It was too difficult to look at Toby.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No,” she said. “But I punched him and kicked him a few times.”
He nodded. “Good. If I see him, I’ll kill him.”
“I hope you do.”
Toby rubbed his temples with his fingertips. “There are a lot of things that piss me off. But that has to be the worst.”
“What?”
“Fucking assholes like that damn piece of shit.” His words sliced through the air, changing the atmosphere from awkward to raging with anger. She automatically stepped back at the hostility. “How pathetic can a guy be to hurt something so beautiful?” He shook his head and clenched his fists. “It makes me sick.”
His words burned the tears behind her eyes. She assumed he would feel that way. He didn’t need to say it. She moved to the seat next to him and pulled her knees to her chest. “It wasn’t always like that…”
Toby turned to her, his eyes softening.
“He actually used to be sweet. But after we became serious, he started to change. If I wore a dress that was too short, he’d demand me to take it off. Months later, I wasn’t allowed to wear them at all. He limited my tim
e with my friends until I couldn’t see them anymore. He claimed his possessiveness came from love, but now I see how ridiculous that is. When I defied him, he became abusive. And the controlling behavior became worse.
“When my girlfriends planned a surprise birthday party for me, he ruined the entire night. He practically grabbed me by the neck and wouldn’t let me do anything. I wasn’t allowed to drink, dance, or do anything that he didn’t accept. I was pretty much a slave.
“And the more I fought it, the more he resisted. The abuse became more intense. If I went somewhere I wasn’t supposed to, he’d beat me. I tried to lock him out of my apartment, but he would just camp outside and wait for me to come or leave.”
Toby sighed. “Now I understand…”
“When he put me in the hospital, breaking two of my ribs and fracturing my cheekbone, that’s when Alexandra stepped in. She said I had to get out. We both changed apartments, jobs, everything so he’d never track me down again. I’ve been much happier since, but I still live in fear—for obvious reasons.”
He clenched his fists again. “I’m sorry I pressured you when you weren’t ready.”
“No, don’t apologize,” she said quickly. “I shouldn’t have let my past ruin my future. I’ve been so scared to be in a serious relationship since Vance. I guess I’m still scared…”
“I understand,” he said quietly. He grabbed her hand and held it. “And I’m honored you shared that with me.”
“You’re the only person I’ve told…”
“That makes it more special.”
His hand felt scorching hot next to hers. It radiated its own warmth, a small heater.
“I won’t let him hurt you, Abby. I promise.”
She sighed. “That’s not the problem.”
‘Then what is?”
“I have to get rid of him. It can’t be anyone else. Everyone has their own lives, their own problems. And this one is mine. I’ll deal with it.”
“This isn’t a normal problem, Abby. You should call the cops—now.”
She looked him in the eye. “As a lawyer, what do you think would happen? I would bring him to trial immediately, get him convicted, and let him rot in jail? You know that isn’t what would happen. I’d be lucky to get a restraining order on him, which of course, is absolutely worthless.” The anger escaped her voice in a crescendo. “I’m alone.”
Toby stared at her for a moment before he finally nodded. “You’re right.”
“I wish I’d never gotten involved with him. He seemed so normal at the time. I had no idea he was crazy.”
“I doubt he was always like that. Maybe something snapped.”
“Are you making excuses for him?” she asked incredulously.
The rage emerged. “Fuck no.”
Abby leaned back on the couch. “I’ll figure it out. I’ve been scared for so long and I’m sick of it.”
“And what’s your plan?”
She didn’t have one. “I don’t know yet.”
“Whatever it is, you aren’t alone. I’d give my life to protect you.”
“I know, Toby…”
He released her hand. “It’s getting late…”
“I should go.” She stood up.
Toby grabbed her hand. “No, you’re staying here tonight. You have a terrible memory.”
“No, I shouldn’t. This isn’t your problem, and I’m not your responsibility.”
He yanked her back down to the couch. “No matter what shit we go through, I’ll always care about you, Abby. I want you to be safe, and I think staying here is the best choice.”
She pulled her hand away then stared at her lap.
“Do you want to leave?”
“I don’t want to bother you…”
“You aren’t,” he said firmly. “I’m not letting him touch you. You aren’t in this alone.”
“Why would you help me after everything I’ve done to you?”
He rested his elbows on his knees then rubbed his palms together. “You know why.”
“But I would love to hear you say it…”
“Saying it doesn’t make it more true. Just like not saying it doesn’t make it unreal.” He rose from the couch then put his hands in his pockets. “You can sleep in my room. I just need to change the sheets.”
Abby didn’t want to be alone tonight, but if she had to be, she wanted to pretend Toby was next to her. “Don’t change the sheets.”
“What?”
“They smell like you.”
His eyes softened. “They are still dirty.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“How about I give you a shirt instead?”
“How about you just sleep with me?” she blurted.
His eyes widened. “That’s a little slutty…”
“You know what I mean.”
His eyes darted back and forth. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Then can I sleep on the floor next to you?”
He looked at her, an eyebrow raised. “Why do you want to sleep with me so badly?”
Abby was embarrassed to admit how weak she was. “I just don’t want to be alone. I’m scared…”
He nodded. “I’ll sleep on the floor and you take the bed. How about that?”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Toby gave her a sympathetic look then entered his hallway. She followed behind him and watched him lay out the sleeping bag. When everything was ready, he opened his door and tossed her a shirt. “It’ll be big, but it will do the trick.”
She grasped it in her fingers then smelled it. It definitely had his scent. She walked into the bathroom and changed before she crawled between his sheets. The bed was massive, making her drown in the blankets. Toby lied on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Abby clung to the very end of the bed, moving as close to him as possible.
“Thanks for letting me stay here,” she whispered.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
She held the pillow to her chest, wishing it was him.
Chapter Fourteen
Abby banged on her sister’s door. “Alex, please talk to me.”
There was no response.
Paul stood next to her, looking forlorn and sad.
Abby banged again. “I’ll do this all day if I have to.”
The door finally opened, revealing Blaise. He glared at Paul for a moment before he looked at Abby. “She still doesn’t want to talk to you.”
Abby glared at him then shouted past his shoulder. “You’re such a coward.”
Blaise put his hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her back. “Now isn’t the time. She has an exam tomorrow then we need to get ready to leave.”
“Leave?” Paul asked. “Where are you going?”
Blaise ignored him. “So please go.”
“Are you going to see my parents?” Abby demanded.
Blaise nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I have to go too.”
Alexandra’s voice drifted through the door. “I don’t want you there.”
“Too bad,” Abby said. “I didn’t even do anything wrong. You need to get off your high horse and listen to reason.”
“Shut the door, Blaise,” Alexandra said.
Abby put her foot in the crack. “No. We need to work this out.”
Alexandra finally appeared at the door. Her eyes widened when she saw Paul. “Why am I not surprised?”
“We aren’t sleeping together,” Abby snapped. “Paul just wants to make sure we work this out.”
“I don’t want to work it out,” Alexandra said coldly.
“We’re sisters,” Abby said. “We’re gonna fix this whether you like it or not.”
“You kissed my ex.” Her eyes were wide with rage.
“No,” Paul said. “I kissed her because I was depressed. The only reason why she didn’t slap me was because she knew how upset I was.”
Abby nodded. “Nothing is going on be
tween us. I’m sorry I lied, I really am. But I honestly had your best interest at heart.”
Alexandra gave her sister a cold stare. “You know better than anyone that I have no one I can trust besides Martha. Other than her, you’re the one person I can always count on. You’re always straight with me, you never mislead me, and you certainly never lie to me. So this betrayal is something I can’t just get over.”
Abby sighed. “You’re being really annoying right now.”
Alexandra crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s a good way to get someone to forgive you,” she said sarcastically.
Abby became frustrated. “I’ve told you everything. I explained what I did and why I did it. I have nothing else to hide, and I’ve apologized a million times. There’s nothing more I can do. So either forgive me or don’t. What’s it going to be?”
Alexandra shook her head slightly. “I don’t.”
Abby was winded by the rejection. Her sister had been mad at her before, but it was nothing like this. “Am I missing something? Why are you so upset about this?”
Alexandra glanced at Paul then looked at the ground.
“Are you more upset that Paul and I kissed?” she asked incredulously. “Alex, you’re marrying some other guy. That shouldn’t bother you.”
Alexandra looked at Blaise then averted her gaze.
“And there was no chemistry between us. If there were, we would have had sex.”
“How do I know you didn’t?” Alexandra demanded.
“Because that’s gross,” Abby blurted. “Paul is like my brother. I don’t see him like that and I never have. Get a grip.”
Alexandra stepped back. “I still need some time…”
“To do what? Be a brat?” Abby knew she shouldn’t get upset but she couldn’t help it.
Alexandra flashed her a look of rage.
“Have fun seeing Mom and Dad,” Abby said as she turned away. “Even though you shouldn’t be going at all.” She turned down the hallway and walked away. When she didn’t hear Paul next to her, she turned around.
“You’re the love of my life, Alex.” Paul had his hands in his pockets, and his eyes were clouded with despair. “You should trust your sister, but if you don’t, you should trust me. I would never cross a line like that. It wouldn’t matter how long we were broken up or if you were married. So please stop doubting both of us. We’re both going through a difficult time and find joy in one another. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” Paul turned away and caught up to Abby. “I don’t know what else I can say.”
