by N. Michaels
My stomach free falls to my toes and my heart squeezes so painfully, I think it might have collapsed into itself. I guess we really are over.
I force myself to look away and focus on my breathing, focus on the music. I look at the other side, not wanting to see them anymore and see a microphone stand angled next to the piano. Instantly, an idea strikes me and I know what I want to do.
Sorry mama, but I hope you won’t kill me after this.
When the current song comes to an end, I quickly glance at Jonathan. I get his attention and ask him if he and the band know, ‘Broken Vow’ by Lara Fabian. Jonathan says they do and at first he seems uneasy about my idea, but he gives in and agrees to let me have my way after I smile my sweetest smile and cause him to blush. Men like him are too easy to persuade.
Jonathan adjusts the mic in front of my lips and I take a deep breath.
Been a while since I sang.
I count down quietly and start pressing the keys. A heartbeat later, the violins join me flawlessly. When I start humming, the room quiets down and I force my voice to come out evenly. I start singing the first verse, about wanting to know about the other woman and why the relationship ended.
My voice breaks a little on the last word and I swallow past the lump in my throat. I feel the tears starting to prickle my eyes, so I take another deep breath and continue. The next lines are about wanting to know who is that woman who broke my trust, that occupies his bed at night while I’m lying alone and reminisce about belonging to him. I inhale a quick breath and sing the chorus and my resolve to Eric.
I sing about letting him go, releasing him. About questioning myself on why I’m still asking why it happened.
I continue to the next verse, keeping my voice steady, even though I feel like I’m about to fall apart. I push through that feeling and sing about wanting to hear the things he never told me, to show me his tears, the ones he never shed. I sing about wanting to feel his touch, that he vowed I’d always have, and I ask if that touch is forever gone. I repeat the chorus, of letting him go.
God, this is so hard… I just have to keep breathing and fight the tears.
I take a breath and sing about closing my eyes and imagining us together, but when I do I realize that this life is more than bitterness and lies.
The melody swells and my eyes flutter shut. As I surrender myself to the crescendo, visions of Eric and me talking, laughing and loving burst like fireworks in my mind. I sing about sacrificing everything, just to embrace him one more time and continue like that forever.
I take the deepest breath and release my anguish into the chorus for the last time. Pouring my heartache into the words, I sing about releasing him and knowing it was all just a broken vow. The melody reaches diminuendo, softening down gradually, and after pressing a few more keys the song is over.
I release a shaky breath, then rise gently and without looking at the crowd, take a small bow. The hall erupts with the sound of applause and cheers, but I want none of it. I step down the stage and make a beeline to the nearest ladies room. I think I hear Eric call my name, but I don’t let that stop me. I just want to escape.
I walk into the beautiful restroom and find it blissfully empty. I walk into the furthest booth and walk in, quickly closing and locking the door behind me. I sag against the door and bite down my lower lip, so hard I taste the metallic tinge of blood. I take a deep breath and feel my whole body tremble. My hands are clammy and cold, so I rest the back of my hand on my forehead, trying to cool myself off.
I feel the hopelessness surging in me, bringing the tears along with it. I yank two tissues out of the tissue box that’s is on a shelf, right above the toilet and dab my eyes very gently, not wanting to look like a panda bear. I stand there for a few moments and eventually calm down.
Laura’s words come rushing to my mind, ‘you have fun tonight. Eric or no Eric, understood?’
I smile weakly and sigh. I unlock the door and step out, heading towards the sinks. I look at my reflection. The tip of my nose is a little pink, like it always is when I cry but other than that I look the same. I wash and dry my hands and make my way back to the ballroom.
Time to put on my best act yet.
The moment I step outside, a slender figure blocks my way.
“My, my… what a performance.” Eliza drawls, clapping her hands halfheartedly.
I feel the little hairs on the nape of my neck rise and I cock an eyebrow. “You’re in my way, please move.”
“Oh, I’ll always be in your way. What, did you really think that you were something special? That you’ve captured Eric?” She laughs maliciously and eyes me from head to toe.
When I don’t answer her, she goes on. “Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t even know him, where I know him inside and out and I can tell you this much, he might fuck your brains out, but he will always, always come back to me. Tonight is an example, he’s here with me and not you,” she says with a smug smile that I’m dying to punch off her face.
But Eliza’s words hit home. They pierce me like a small dagger right in the heart, right in the center of my fear of how much she means to him.
“Eliza, I don’t have time for this jealousy trip of yours. Move or I’ll move you myself.” I say through clenched teeth.
She leans into me and the smell of her overly sweet perfume attacks my nostrils.
“Stay away from him. You’ll regret it if you won’t.” She hisses in my face.
I feel my nostrils flare as fury rises in me. I close my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms just so I won’t introduce my knuckles to her face.
“Eliza.” Eric’s voice thunders in the hallway.
Immediately, she pulls back and twirls around to face him. “Missed me already?” she purrs.
Frowning at her, Eric stalks closer then his eyes collide with mine. He stops in his tracks and stares at me, ignoring her completely. His angry expression transforms into a one of longing and sorrow.
“Katherine…” he whispers my name like a desperate prayer and the dagger twists painfully in my heart.
Eric takes a step forward and I take one back. He stops moving, still looking at me tormented.
Why the hell is he playing victim? He left me!
Irritation flares inside me and I walk past them, even though some part of me just wants to run into his arms and melt into him. Eric calls out for me again but Eliza stops him with her annoying voice.
I walk into the ballroom and every person that crosses my way stops to tell me what a beautiful performance it was. I thank each and every one of them and locate my parents.
“Mama, I think I’ll leave now.” I whisper in her ear.
Having fun is now out of the question.
“No! We just started and you haven’t even met Daniel yet.” she looks distraught.
“Daniel?”
“Dr. Whales. His first name is Daniel. Please, stay for an hour, no more I promise. By the way, you surprised me with the that song, but I loved it.” She smiles.
I sigh, “Thank you, but an hour is too long, mama. I’m giving him thirty minutes.”
Mama nods vigorously and her bright blue eyes sparkle.
Daniel turned out to be a thirty five year old nerd. He’s attractive, I won’t lie but there was absolutely no chemistry. Nothing like I had with Eric and I’m don’t think I want to settle for anything less. I chatted with him politely for ten minute or so and then slipped away, unable to pull through those thirty minutes I promised. There was no way I was going back to the table, so I went to the bar instead. While I was waiting for my Bellini, a familiar voice greets me from behind.
“Hello beautiful, Katherine.” The deep voice whispers into my ear.
I turn around and smile brightly. “Will! What are you doing here?”
“I came to donate for a good cause. The cardiology department saved my mother’s life.”
Will’s wearing a charcoal suit that fits him seamlessly. His blond hair is a tad shorter
from the last time I saw him, and he’s still pretty damn hot in that rugged way of his.
“That’s amazing. I’m glad she’s ok.” I smile.
“Yeah, me too. You look breathtaking Katherine. Can I buy you a drink?” he inches closer to me.
“Thank you Will, you clean up nice as well. About the drink, I already have one in the making. So what is it about us meeting in bars? Next step is A.A.”
Will’s chuckle is smooth and warm, and the sound of his laughter makes me smile.
Maybe the night isn’t lost.
“I know right? It’s funny how…” Will trails off and his eyes focus on something behind me.
I frown lightly and toss a quick look over my shoulder.
Someone, not something…
What I see is Eric stalking our way. The way his body moves, like a lithe predator is spreading goose bumps down my arms. It’s making me think about his divine body naked and on top of me, I shiver lightly and Eric’s eyes darken as if he knows what I was thinking about. I inhale sharply and push that thought aside, turning my attention back to Will. I place my hand on his chest.
“You were saying?” I bring his attention back to me.
Will looks down at me, and then smiles. “It’s funny how I keep trying to buy you a drink, and you always beat me to the punch.”
I feel Eric’s presence without glancing back. I know he’s behind me. That’s how strongly my body is attuned to him. Even though my brain is screaming, ‘No!’ my body disobeys and I look behind me, focusing on Eric’s stunning eyes that are sharp with irritation.
“We need to talk.” His tone carries a bite to his words.
“I’m sorry. I’m talking to Will right now. Once I’m done, I’ll find you.” I smile sweetly at him and I swear, I see the blue in his eyes darken.
Eric’s eyes shift to Will, and I feel Will tense under my palm. Suddenly, Will takes a step forward. Hell no.
There will not be a fight in the bloody Plaza Hotel during a freaking fundraising… and also, because mama will kill me.
“Eric, please don’t. Don’t make a scene here. We’ll talk later.” I try brushing him off, but the look he gives me makes me realize that he won’t be swayed.
“I’ll trash the goddamn bar if that’s what it takes to make you talk to me. I swear I will. I’m not walking away.” He growls ferally.
Eric takes a step forward and I place my other hand on his chest to stop him. His eyes are so determined, it’s hard to look away but I do, focusing my eyes on the floor.
I quickly think over my options. I could go quietly with Eric and hurt Will, or I could stay here with Will and cause Eric to go apeshit on the place. I suck in a breath. I can’t believe I’m doing this to Will again… God, I feel like a total bitch.
I sigh and look at Will apologetically. “I’m sorry, I’ll find you later. All right?”
Will takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.” the left corner of his lips lifts almost reluctantly.
I frown and mouth, “Sorry.” Will nods once then walks away.
Livid, I turn to Eric. “What?” I snap quietly.
“Not here.” He frowns.
Eric grabs my hand and pulls me away from the bar.
Why do I feel like I was going to need that Bellini?
I try tugging my hand back but his grasp only gets tighter. He weaves his way through the guests, pulling me away from the ballroom and somehow, we end up running into my parents.
“Excuse me.” Eric says curtly.
Papa frowns and grabs my free hand, stopping us from advancing any further.
Eric looks at papa with a fierce glare, which papa returns just as sternly.
Suddenly, Eric’s scowl turns into astonishment.
“Dr. Slavsky?” he mutters quietly.
Papa frowns lightly then sudden recognition passes in his eyes.
“Eric! My God, how long has it been?” papa smiles warmly and holds out his hand to Eric.
As they shake hands and start catching up, I stand there, wide-eyes and perplexed.
“Umm… how do you two know each other exactly?” I look at them.
“I treated Eric’s mother a few years ago. She suffered a head injury in a car accident.” Papa explains.
“He saved her life.” Eric murmurs quietly.
I remember Eric telling me about his parents’ accident, and his weird reaction when I told him papa was a neurosurgeon.
Wow, what are the odds?
They talk briefly about Eric’s mother and how she’s doing, and then papa looks at me.
“I see you’ve met my daughter.”
Eric’s eyes flash to mine and I see it, the surprise and the awe.
Damn it, so much for being my own person.
“I did. She’s a remarkable lady. I can see where she got her beauty and her intelligence.”
Eric looks down at me with pride. And for the first time, this type of compliment, relating me to papa actually makes me happy. It makes me stand a little taller and I smile at Eric.
“Oh, thank you, Eric. We love our Katherine very much. Are you two dating?” mama’s voice hikes up an octave as she looks down at our joint hands.
I guess she approves.
I’m about to say no when Eric squeezes my hand. He looks down at me smiling, “Yes. We are.”
I look at him, confused. I’m starting to believe he might actually be bi-polar.
“Now if you excuse us, I need a moment with your daughter.” Eric smiles at my parents and they beam back at him.
What the hell? They’ve never approved on any guy I’ve ever dated.
“Yes, of course.” Mama says with starry eyes.
We say goodbye and Eric leads me away. I glance back, finding my parents smiling proudly at each other.
Definitely need to touch base about that.
When I notice we’re walking towards the street exit, I tug my hand hard. That only makes Eric look at me. My hand is still snugly enclosed by his warm one.
“I’m not going anywhere with you. So if you want to talk, let’s do it here.”
Eric opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by a snarly voice calling out his name.
“Eric!” Eliza stalks to us with a glare.
Eric pulls me closer to his side, slightly behind him.
“Where are you going? You just left me there, alone, for fifteen minutes!” she looks only at him, making it obvious that she’s ignoring me on purpose, not that I’m complaining.
“I need to leave. I’m sorry Eliza. I’ll have a car service take you home when you’re ready.”
Eliza’s blue eyes widen and her mouth gapes.
Damn it. Where is a camera when you need one?
She shakes her head slightly, incredulous. “Eric, please come with me. She’s just like the rest, she doesn’t understand. She’ll hurt you, I know she will.” She whispers pleadingly.
“I’m sorry Eliza, but what we spoke about before hasn’t changed. I wish you the best, I really do. Goodbye.”
What did they speak about?
Eric wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me away. I glance back at her, and in a nanosecond, I realize that that was a mistake. Eliza’s palm connects with my cheek and I swear I hear bells. I suck in a sharp breath and cup my flaming cheek with my hand, glaring back at her.
Fucking bitch!
“This isn’t over, Eric! You’ll run back to me just like you always do!” she seethes.
Eric moves so quickly, I don’t even notice that he left my side. He grabs Eliza by her upper arms and paralyzes her with a murderous look.
“If you ever touch her again, I will break the arm you hit her with. Understood?” Eric’s voice is deceivingly low but I feel the violence in each word, and so does she.
Eliza’s eyes are full of hate as she scowls at me. It’s the ugliest expression I’ve ever seen in my life. If a glare could physically hurt someone, I would’ve been dead by now.
“We. Are. Done. I don’t want to see your face ever again. Goodbye.”
He releases her and returns to my side, showing his back to her.
“Are you ok?”
He places his hand over mine, his thumb brushes over my stinging skin. I look up at him and see genuine concern in his beautiful eyes. I can’t ignore it any longer. I can’t deny it or escape it.
I love him. I am head over fucking heels in love with him.
Never in my life have I felt this deeply towards a man, and never so quickly. I swallow hard, trying not to show my emotions. “I’ll be fine.”
I look over at Eliza, who is standing as pale as a ghost. Her eyes finally focus and she focuses them on me. Her eyes are filled with pure malice, causing me to shiver slightly. Abruptly, she turns around and walks back into the ballroom.
Eric warps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him, molding my soft body to his hard one. And I don’t object. I want to feel safe, and he is my safe haven.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Eric guides me into a black limousine. Once we’re seated, he pulls me over his lap and hugs me tightly. He presses his face to the crook of my neck and I let my head fall against the headrest.
He places a soft kiss on the sensitive spot below my ear, sending goose bumps all over my body.
“I’m so sorry, kitten.” He murmurs against my skin.
His endearment wakes me out of my stupor. The past week, which was filled with my tears and my heartbreak, comes rushing back to me, overwhelming my mind. I try to move away from him but his arms squeeze around me, keeping me secure.
“Katherine please, just let me hold you now. We’ll talk once we get to my place. Please…” he whispers in my ear, his voice hoarse.
I say nothing and let him hold me in his arms, even though it’s tearing me to pieces. Our drive is mostly silent. Eric keeps murmuring, ‘I’m sorry’ while hugging me tighter and kissing my neck from time to time. And I keep myself quiet. Holding on to a flimsy thread of self-control, not wanting to break down in front of him inside the limo.
When we arrive, Eric reluctantly lets go of me and helps me get out of the limousine. Once we enter his building, he laces his fingers with mine. He doesn’t let go of my hand until we’re standing in his foyer.
