by N. Michaels
He loves me.
Two heavy tears slip through my lashes, and I bite my lower lip to keep the rest of them at bay.
“You’re crying.” Eric breathes out.
“Happy tears.” I sniffle and smile.
“Eric...” I place my hand on his cheek, “I love you too. So much it scares me.”
He gasps then whispers, “Say that again.”
“I love you.” I whisper back.
Eric closes his eyes and his arresting face contours as if he’s in pain. He drops his head in the crook of my neck and inhales deeply. His arms band around me, and he rolls us over so I’m on top. Rose petals cascade down my back and hair all around us as he tightens his hold on me, securing me to him, as if he’s scared I’ll suddenly vanish.
“So this is what he meant,” he mumbles.
“Who?”
Eric lays his head back on the pillow, looking at me with sadness in his eyes.
“My father. I asked him once how did he know he was in love with my mother, that she was the one and he told me, ‘When you feel like you’re the happiest, not just physically but emotionally and mentally, when you look at her and you just know she holds your heart, that there is this invisible steel rope that is tying you to her. When you can’t get enough of her mind and her body, when you look at other women and only see her and wherever she’ll go, you will follow even if it’s means walking into hell itself, that’s when you know’.”
I force myself look away and let the tears slide. That is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Eric’s hand reaches for my cheek and he turns my head to face him. “Don’t hide from me,” he whispers, wiping my tears with his thumb. “Don’t hide your tears. I want them. I want it all… I want you.”
“I’m sorry.” I smile timidly. “That was beautiful, your father sounds like a very wise man.”
“He was.” Eric whispers and closes his eyes.
I kiss him softly, to distract and comfort him from the painful memory of losing his father. Our soft kiss intensifies into something sweet and powerful, something that ties us tighter to each other, ties our souls together. Slowly, I rise and fall on his still, rock hard shaft, unable to hold myself back. I can’t fight my desire for him. I don’t want to. No matter how many times I have him, I will always want him again. I’m addicted to him and I have no intention to kick my habit. Eric’s right hand fists in my hair and his left arm wraps around my waist, pulling me down on him, while he thrusts his hips into me, stealing my breath.
“Oh God… so deep…” I sob at the unbearable pleasure he gives me with each powerful thrust.
“You’re insatiable.” Eric grunts in my ear.
“You make me greedy… only you.” I whimper.
We continue to make love, slow and tender. We whisper sweet words and say, ‘I love you’ freely, without the fear of one of us freaking out.
Much later, we’re soaking in Eric’s tub, fucked raw and satisfied. Eric is leaning back against the tub and I’m lying on top of him, so we’re nose to nose.
“How are you feeling?” Eric murmurs.
“Pretty damn good.” I smile and he chuckles.
“Still holding up, huh?”
“I’m always ready and willing for you, tiger.” I kiss him softly and pull back to look into his eyes.
“You have the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen.” Eric murmurs softly.
“Ditto. I never saw such vibrant turquoise eyes… I wonder what eye color our kids will have…”
Eric’s eyebrows shoot up and he tenses slightly underneath me.
“Not that I’m saying we will! Or even married… I mean… I… just… forget I said anything.” I bite my tongue and hide my face on his chest.
Instantly, I feel the flush of embarrassment flooding my cheeks and spreading to my neck.
What. The. Fuck, Katherine? Have you lost your goddamn mind? Eric finally says he loves you and you jump and talk about babies! Oh my God.
I curse myself internally for not having a brain-to-mouth filter.
Eric clears his throat, “Kitten, look at me.”
I shake my head no.
Eric chuckles, “Please, look at me.”
I lift my head slowly and look at him, ready for him to freak out on me, but Eric doesn’t say a word. Instead, his arms pull me higher on his slick body. His eyes scan my face with that look I’ve come to crave for, red-hot lust and carnal desire. Eric’s hand slides up my back and grips the nape of my neck. He pulls my head down to his and kisses me with his sinful lips. My mouth opens up for him immediately, and his tongue slips in and out, driving me wild. I know what he’s doing, taking my embarrassment away, telling me it ok without saying a word.
My hands tangle in his wet, dripping hair, pulling it back to give me a better angle. I feel his erection prodding my thigh, so I move to straddle him. Eric holds me up with one hand on my backside and takes himself in hand, positioning the crest of his penis under my opening. The hand that’s holds my butt slides away and slowly, he penetrates me. I bite down his lower lip and moan at the slight soreness of how he’s filling and stretching me.
Eric groans and pulls his lip free, “Fuck.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I just wasn’t expecting that.” Eric whispers and I know he means it about the bite and the baby remark.
He brings his lips to mine and kisses me slow and tender, worshiping me with every sensual caress of his tongue. I let my embarrassment go and focus on him and what he’s doing to me, to my body and my heart. Taking me completely, making me his in every possible way. Eric rolls his hips up and into me, slowly reaching the end of me each time, making me hold on to him with everything I got.
“Come on, you naughty little kitten, come for me.” he growls in my ear.
“I… can’t.” I whimper. I’m exhausted and the orgasm feels so far away.
“You can, and you will.” Eric commands and his absolute determination heats my blood, turning me on.
Eric lowers his hand into the water and brings the tip of his finger to my puckered ring. He circles it with the same rhythm his tongue is swirling around mine, while his cock still penetrates me deep and slow. Eric slides out of me and then at once, his thick penis and finger fill me completely.
“Oh, yes…” I cry out, moaning.
An animalistic growl rumbles in his throat as he hurries his thrusts, pushing harder and faster into me. My body shakes with the overwhelming sensations of being filled by him entirely.
“Come on kitten, come.” Eric rasps into my ear.
I feel my pleasure reach its peak and I cry out and surrender to the white-hot waves of ecstasy. I buck against him and my nails dig into his shoulders. Eric groans at how tightly I contract around him. He slows his thrusts and soon after, he finds his own release.
“God… I love you.” Eric gasps into my ear and shudders beneath me.
He warps his arms around me and rests his cheek on top of my head. Holding me close to him, so close I feel our racing hearts beat in harmony. We stay like this just holding each other, grounding one another for what feels like forever, and that’s exactly where I want to be.
Bone tired, surrounded by hot water and even hotter man, I feel myself starting to doze off.
When my eyes slowly open, I watch Eric as he lays me on his bed. He slides in next to me and pulls me close to him.
“Good night, my beautiful kitten.” Eric whispers and kisses my lips softly.
“Good night, tiger.” I mumble.
I drift into a deep sleep, wrapped in the arms of the man I love with every fiber of me, a man that stole my heart in that dark elevator, who finally admitted that he loves me back.
The morning sun shines into my sleepy eyes. I blink a few times and gaze upon one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. Eric’s sleeping face is so serene, his lips are slightly parted and his long lashes fan over his sculptured cheeks, making him look younger than he really is. His silky hair i
s mussed up and his chest rises and falls with each deep, calm breath that he takes.
Wow… he looks so angelic.
I lay there, staring at him, admiring him and thanking God for putting this incredible man in my life for about ten minutes before I feel nature’s call. I slip out of his bed gently, not wanting to wake him and ruin his resting state. After last night, he needs the rest.
I tiptoe to his bathroom and quietly close the door. After I relieve myself, I wash my hands then look at my reflection. My lips are swollen and red, my hair looks wild, my skin is glowing and my eyes glimmer, I see them sparkle like actual emeralds. My eyes lower to my neck and I see the beautiful necklace Eric gave me last night. The diamonds gleam in the morning light, making the pendent look like it’s spreading its light everywhere. I hold the pendent in my fingers and lift it to my lips, kissing it softly.
My big wild cat…
While I brush my teeth, our conversation from last night pops into my head.
“Yes, it’s very hard not to stare when your girlfriend moans about a meal you just made for her.”
“You just inspired me to cook something for you, just to see how you’ll react to it.”
I smile and decide to surprise him with the frittata Laura taught me to make. I rinse my mouth and brush my hair. I sneak out of the bedroom, leaving Eric sleeping soundly in bed. I walk into his kitchen and open the refrigerator. I find most of the ingredients, everything but the eggs.
How am I supposed to make a frittata without eggs?
I find my cellphone and Google grocery stores nearby. I find one not even a minute away. I take out the tunic, panties and the capris and put them on. I open my bag again and dig into the concealed compartment. I find my foldable flats and pull them over my bare feet.
I silently walk to his office and find a sticky notes pad and write him a message:
Morning, tiger!
Went out for eggs and other stuff, be back soon!
I love you.
I stick it on the refrigerator and grab my purse.
I lock the door as quietly as I can, then make my way to the grocery store right next door.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
My left hand is holding a basket filled with eggs, red bell peppers and portabella mushrooms. My right hand is shifting between the orange juice in a plastic bottle and back to a glass one.
Is there a difference?
I look at the time on my phone and realize I’ve been here for twenty minutes.
“Shit.” I mutter.
I grab the glass bottle and put it in my basket. While I wait in line, I replay the last and only time I made the frittata, trying to remember everything Laura had said. I pay and choose a big brown paper bag instead of plastic.
Something my Biology teacher said that always stayed with me. ‘The change begins with you. No matter how small.’
Of course she meant it regarding the environment and clean forests, but I try and fulfill it in every aspect of life.
I changed. I took a big chance by leaving my parents house, by getting cut off, and with that change, my life took a different turn, to the better and the better turned to best because it brought me to Eric. He makes me feel happy and alive, like no other person did, or any vacation or shopping spree… and I love him… and he loves me.
I walk happily down the street, looking up, expecting to see the blue sky I saw before I walked into the store, but the bright blue had changed into a cloudy, light grey. Still, I smile at the sky, not letting its moodiness affect my joy. When I see the entrance to Eric’s building, something wet falls on my thumb. I stop and look down at it.
Water…
I feel another one dropping on my head. I look up again and sigh.
Rain.
But when I remember our plans for today, my smile comes back. We’ll be indoors all day long.
I smile at the doorman who holds the door open for me. He smiles back politely and I head to the elevators. Happily, I hum Frank Sinatra’s, ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ until the car reaches Eric’s floor. I walk out of the elevator with a silly smile on my face, clutching the brown bag to my body with my left arm, while I fish out the key Eric gave me out of my purse. Slowly, I slide the key into the lock. Maybe he’s still sleeping…
I turn the key as smoothly as possible and step inside his apartment, gently closing the door behind myself. I tiptoe through the foyer, trying to get to the kitchen when I hear Eric’s hushed voice.
“She can’t see you here...”
I can’t hear the rest. Eric’s voice drops even lower and I stand there, rooted to the spot.
Why is Eric whispering? Who’s here?
I will myself to move again. Silently, I tread towards his voice. I walk slow, setting one foot after another, straining my ears to hear his whispers better.
“You have to leave. I told you we’re done.” Eric snaps quietly.
“I understand that, and I told you I’m leaving. Just…”
Eliza’s voice drops low and I lose the rest of her words.
No. Not her. Why is she even here? Why would Eric let her in? After everything that happened last night… after we finally confessed our feelings, he lets her in?
With my heart beating out of my chest, I take the last step and stand in the corner of Eric’s living room’s entrance. I have a profile view of both of them but the first thing my eyes focus on is Eliza, who stands in front of Eric, wearing some tight outfit as usual, pushing her deep V-neck cleavage upwards.
“Leave, Eliza. Now.” Eric’s voice comes out deadly.
I’m relieved that Eric is dressed. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and his black boxers briefs.
“Kiss me and I’ll leave. After everything we’ve been through together Eric, after I helped you cope with everything, I think you can do that little for me.” Eliza purrs breathlessly.
Eric tenses and his frown turns into a full-blown scowl.
Yeah right... like Eric will ever touch you again. There’s no-
My eyes widen at the sight of Eric’s head lowering towards Eliza’s while she fists his t-shirt, and the unbelievable happens right before my eyes. Their lips connect and I feel like my eyes cover half of my face. My blood freezes in my veins at the horrifying display I am witnessing and for a moment, I think this is just a dream… a nightmare.
My breaths come out haggard as I feel a fierce stabbing pain in my chest and I realize that I feel my heart breaking, that gut wrenching feeling that tears you to pieces and burns your heart, that devastating realization that your heart and soul just crashed down like some weak house of cards. I’m fighting for air as Eliza’s smug words from the gala come rushing back into my head, ‘He might fuck your brains out but he’ll always, always come back to me.’
Then Patrick’s, ‘Later on he started cheating on her with some other woman.’
‘I don’t want this happening to you. I’m giving you the heads up now. He’s not who he claims to be.’
I want to scream at them but nothing comes out, my throat is so tight, I can barely breathe. My mind can’t comprehend what I'm seeing. It’s refusing to register that the man I love with all my heart, the man I spent the night making love to, is kissing someone who isn’t me. Instead of me, Eric is kissing the woman he slept with for years. When I see her tongue sliding into his mouth, I can almost taste the bile rising in my throat.
I have never been cheated on... I don't even know how to handle all these emotions that are crashing over me like angry waves crashing against the rocks… disbelief, hurt, anger, denial and pure devastation. I don’t want to see this. I don’t want to see them together. The thought repeats in my mind like a mantra, but my eyes won’t close, they don’t respond to the screaming commands my brain is shouting at them, Look away! Close your eyes!
Nothing…
Finally, my self-preservation mode clicks in.
I feel numb, cold to the bone. My heart has been ripped into shreds and is bleeding in agony. Distantly,
I hear the sound of glass shattering and my eyes gaze down, focusing on the brown paper bag I was holding, which is now on the floor. The vegetables roll towards Eric and Eliza and a pool of orange liquid travels away from its smashed bottle. Numbly, I lift my eyes from the mess that’s on floor and find them looking at me.
Eric is staring at me with a horrified expression. He’s as white as a ghost and his breathing is labored. Eliza, who’s still holding on to his shirt, looks at me as though she’s terrified but I see it, I see the triumph in her eyes. The big loud and fucking clear, ‘I told you so’.
Eric takes a step towards me and instinctively, I step back. He blurs for a moment and when I blink, I feel the tears streaming down my wet cheeks. When did I start crying?
“Wait, Katherine… It’s not what… No!” Eric draws a shaky breath, frantically shaking his head. His painfully beautiful turquoise eyes are wide and full of dread. His expression is so broken, so agonized it makes no sense to me.
“Katherine, let me explain… please, kitten…” Eric holds his hands up, as if he’s talking to a frightened child.
“I can’t.” I choke and take a step back. I don’t sound like me, I sound like a dying person fighting for air.
“Katherine, stop! Please… no…” Eric cries in agony.
I sob and cover my mouth. I feel like I'm about to hurl.
I turn around and run back to the foyer. I quickly unlock the door then slam it behind me. I race towards the elevator, pressing the button rapidly. Thankfully, the doors open immediately and I throw myself inside. I press the button for the lobby then quickly press the ‘close doors’ button.
“Katherine, wait!” Eric shouts with desperation and I pray the doors close before he reaches me.
Just as Eric lifts his hand to try to stop the doors they blissfully close.
I walk backwards until I’m completely pressed against the wall and try to breath, gasping for air. I’m trembling and sobbing uncontrollably as my sweet world comes crashing down on me. Nausea hits me hard and I gag, trying to breath through it. When the elevator reaches the lobby, I run pass the doorman and scram outside, into the now pouring rain. I breathe haggardly and look around, searching for a way out of here. My tears mix with the rain and my soft tunic is soaked in a matter of seconds. I spot my car across the street and run to it. I quickly find my keys and get in. Crying, I start it and immediately merge into traffic, which earns me an earful of horns from alarmed drivers, but I don't care. I have to get away from here, from them.
