I shut my eyes. Her nails were so deep in my back that blood was flowing down over my scars. Her mouth pressed against my neck, her teeth biting me painfully. Her legs were so firmly wrapped around my waist I could hardly breathe.
As the last throbs of my sperm flowed into her ass, I knew it was true. She was mine. She was utterly mine, and she always would be.
I’d broken her. I was her master.
Chapter 15
Faith
WHEN JACKSON TOLD ME HE was leaving to ride north, something inside me broke. He was going to ride to his death, and he wasn’t even considering where that would leave me. I didn’t care that he said it was for me. It wasn’t for me. I didn’t need revenge on Wolf. All I needed was Jackson to stay with me, to protect me by being with me, to never leave me. All I needed as for him to stay.
“I can’t stay,” he said. “You know that.”
“Then go,” I cried. “If you’re going to leave me, go now. It would have been better if I’d never met you. It would have been better if I’d never left Wolf.”
“Faith,” he said, but it was too late.
I shook my head. I wanted no more of his words. He was breaking my heart and he knew it. How could he do this to me? In the space of two passionate nights he’d made me fall completely in love with him. I knew I was already carrying his baby. There was no doubt in my mind I was pregnant. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew.
Now he was breaking me heart. He was breaking my body and my heart at the same time. He didn’t realize I’d forgive him for anything, if only he would stay. He didn’t realize I didn’t care about Wolf Staten. All I cared about was Jackson being at my side.
I wanted to tell him that I released him from his promise, that he didn’t have to go, but he wasn’t listening. He thought I’d hate him for being a coward. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The only thing I’d hate him for was leaving me. He didn’t have to do it like this. He didn’t have to leave a trail of destruction. We could have stayed at that house together. Or he could have taken me somewhere else. I’d have gone anywhere with him. I wanted him. I didn’t want justice. I wanted Jackson to help me raise this baby he’d been so determined to put inside me.
“Tell me where to find Wolf,” he said.
I flashed daggers at him with my eyes. I was so angry I’d have shot him through the heart if I’d had a gun.
“You’re leaving me now?” I said.
“Faith, I have to go.”
“You don’t have to do anything. It’s your pride that’s making you leave.”
“Wolf Staten deserves to die.”
“I don’t care about him. All I want is to run away with you.”
“I’ll never run away. You know that.”
“You’re running away from me. You’re a coward, Jackson Jones. If you leave me now, you’ll be a coward till your dying day. I swear to God.”
“I warned you,” he said. “I told you you’d regret getting involved with me. I warned you it would lead to nothing but pain.”
I took my wallet from my purse and threw a piece of paper at him. If he wanted to kill himself, who was I to tell him otherwise?
“The address is there. He goes to that house every night. It’s remote. There’ll be guards there, and they’ll shoot you dead before you get within a hundred yards of him. If that’s what you want, if you want to kill yourself rather than raise our baby together, go ahead.”
He shook his head.
“I warned you Faith. You knew from the beginning you’d regret ever meeting me.”
He was so wrong. I didn’t regret meeting him at all. Not for one second. The only thing I regretted was losing him.
Tears fell down my cheeks.
He grabbed his things and left. I collapsed to the floor. His sperm was still inside me, dripping out of me in a pool on the floor. I heard the motorcycle fire up and recede into the distance. I held my breath and listened. He’d stop. He’d change his mind. He’d come back to me. He had to.
But he didn’t. He never came back.
Chapter 16
Jackson
I RODE NORTH AS IF being chased by a wildfire. The clouds in the sky rose above me, curling in a vortex. A storm was brewing.
I had only one thing on my mind—to keep my word. I was going to do for Faith what I’d promised.
And she was going to do for me what she’d promised.
A life for a life.
If I had to die, I was ready for it. I’d done my best to be a man. I’d tried to love a woman, briefly though it was. I’d burned myself into her soul in the short time we had together. I’d put my baby in her—left behind a son to carry on my name.
Now I was going to kill the man who threatened everything I loved. He threatened every chance at happiness and peace Faith would ever know. He’d never let her escape his clutches. I knew that with a certainty that burned in my soul. Men like Wolf Staten didn’t care how much suffering they caused. His honor wouldn’t allow her to escape. It would threaten his manhood and his position as the head of Los Lobos.
I’m bad. I know that. I’m bad to the bone.
But like I said before, I never meant any harm.
I was doing the only thing I knew how to do. I was being the only man I knew how to be. I didn’t see that I had any other option. Faith called me a coward for leaving her, but could she have lived with a man who didn’t stand up for her like this? Could she raise the child of a man she didn’t respect?
She deserved better than that.
I crossed the state line into Nevada before stopping for gas. There was a payphone and I called the Brotherhood from it.
“Jackson, where the hell have you been? You left without a word. We thought you were in trouble.”
It was Grant Lucas, my friend, one of the brotherhood, a man I’d gladly give my life for. A man who’d step up to protect me no matter what.
“I had to clear my head, Grant.”
“Well, come home. It’s not safe out there.”
“That’s what I’m calling about.”
“What?”
“Did you hear about the shooting at the motel near Salinas?”
“Shit, that was you?”
“It’s a long story, brother.”
“Well, shit, Jackson. Where the hell are you?”
“Listen,” I said. “I’m mixed up with something.”
“And it involves Los Lobos?”
“Yes it does.”
“Come in and talk it out. The Brotherhood will sort it out.”
“This is something I have to face alone.”
“We’re brothers. All of us. You face nothing alone.”
“This is about a woman.”
“Shit,” Grant said. “Shit, shit, shit.”
“I know.”
“You’re a goddamn fool, Jackson.”
“I know it.”
“Well, I hope she’s worth it.”
“She is.”
“Right.”
A woman was the one thing most likely to get a member of the Brotherhood killed. We all knew it. We were the most careful, levelheaded criminals you’ll ever come across. We did nothing without calculating the risks first. We had a code, and we never deviated from it. Except when it came to women. That’s when the rules went out the window. That’s when brothers got killed.
“She’s different from the others, Grant.”
“That’s what they all say.”
“No, this time it’s really different.”
“Fuck, Jackson. Don’t tell me you’re in trouble because of a woman and it’s different from the others.”
“It is. She’s carrying my child.”
There was a moment’s silence.
“Fuck. I didn’t know. That is different.”
“Yes it is. You’ve got to help me out.”
“Of course. Anything, Jackson.”
“She’s at the desert safe house.”
“I’ll send someon
e out for her.”
“No. You go. Please. I want it to be you.”
“All right. I’ll go.”
“And before you go, get rid of any chicks that are at home looking for me. I’m done with all of them.”
“Fine, but where the hell are you?”
“I’m taking care of her ex.”
“How come I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Jackson?”
“Because her ex is Wolf Staten.”
I hung up before he could say anything else. I didn’t want him to argue with me. I didn’t want to rationalize what I was doing with him. I knew it wasn’t rational. It was crazy. But it was also the only thing that made sense.
Plus, I’ve never been good at goodbyes.
Chapter 17
Faith
THE KNOCK ON THE DOOR scared the shit out of me. I was lying in the bed, naked, without a clue what I was going to do. Jackson had abandoned me. I had no money, no vehicle.
Evening was setting in, the villa was beginning to get a little spooky in the darkness, and then, bang, bang, bang on the door.
I turned off the light in the bedroom.
“Hey,” I heard. It was a man’s voice. It wasn’t Jackson, but I didn’t recognize it as any of Wolf’s men either.
“Who is it?” I called, and as soon as I spoke I regretted it.
“My name’s Grant Lucas. I’m part of the Brotherhood with Jackson. I’m coming in.”
“Don’t come into the bedroom,” I called, directing my voice at the window.
“Don’t worry,” he said.
I climbed out of the bed and got dressed quickly. I guess Jackson hadn’t completely abandoned me. He’d sent someone, which I was grateful for, even if I was still angry at him.
When I entered the den, a big, muscular man with a broad chest and intricate tattoos was lighting the fire with the wood Jackson had gathered.
“Well, well, well,” he said when he looked up at me.
“I’m Faith Shepherd,” I said.
He stood up. “Grant Lucas. I’m a friend of Jackson’s.”
“Me too,” I said.
“So I hear.”
“He spoke to you?”
“He called from the road.”
“Do you know where he was headed?”
“Sounded like he was on a mission to face up to your ex.”
I nodded. I looked at Grant. He wasn’t judging me, but I felt guilty for the danger I’d put his friend in.
“I didn’t want him to go,” I said.
“I can imagine.”
“I asked him for help, but I meant help escaping. I didn’t expect him to square up to Los Lobos on his own.”
Grant shook his head, as if to say there was nothing either of us could do about it.
“Jackson’s got to do what he’s got to do. We have a strict code. We back each other up in any situation. But when it comes to women, we have to act alone. ”
“What do you mean?” I said.
Grant bent down to the fire and lit a piece of paper with his lighter. He blew on the fire till the wood caught light.
“I’m sure he told you about the Brotherhood.”
“He mentioned it.”
“Well, we do jobs of a certain kind. We get away with a lot of money, and it’s dangerous work. But we calculate every risk. We never move unless we’re certain we can get in and out without losing a brother.”
“But you don’t apply the same caution when it comes to women?”
Grant laughed. “When it comes to women, the rules go out the window. We forget all our logic, all our better judgement.”
“Sounds chaotic.”
“You get a group of four, woman-crazy criminals like us, emotions can get pretty passionate.”
“I suppose so,” I said.
The wood caught fire and Grant piled bigger logs onto the flames.
“Jackson told me to come up here and get you,” he said. “I’m going to bring you to our home tomorrow.”
“No one spoke to me about that.”
“If you don’t want to come, I won’t force you,” he said.
“I thought I might head for Los Angeles.”
“If you don’t come back to the valley with me, Jackson will string me up from a post, but I won’t take you anywhere you don’t want to go. That’s all between you and your man.”
“How do you know Jackson’s my man?”
“Well,” Grant said, hesitating, “forgive me for being forward, but he said you were carrying his child.”
I sat down on a sofa close to the fire. The warmth of the flames was comforting.
“He doesn’t know that,” I said. “We only spent two nights together.”
“It’s not like Jackson to say something unless he means it,” Grant said.
“Well, I’m sure he means it, but you tell me how a man can know if he’s made a woman pregnant or not? Even a doctor couldn’t tell me yet.”
“I guess what he meant,” Grant said, “was that he hoped you were pregnant.”
“I guess so,” I said.
Grant looked me over, head to toe. He wasn’t leering at me, but he made no effort to hide that he was looking. “He always had good taste,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
Grant laughed. “You heard me.”
“Is that supposed to be a complement?”
“It’s just a fact, Faith. Don’t worry, I’d never make a move on a brother’s woman. You’re safe as long as you’re with me or anyone else from the Brotherhood.”
“Good to know,” I said.
Grant stood up. The fire had grown strong.
“I saw a deer hanging in the pantry,” he said.
“Jackson shot it yesterday.”
“I don’t suppose he’d mind if we cut into it.”
“I don’t suppose he would.”
Grant left. I looked into the flames while I waited. I thought about my next move. I’d go with Grant to the ‘valley’, wherever that was. If I was ever going to see Jackson again, that’s where he’d find me.
He returned with two large cuts of meat, skewered and seasoned, and he put them to roast above the flames. The smell was delicious. It reminded me how hungry I was.
“So, are you coming back to the valley with me in the morning?”
I looked at him seriously. “If you were in my position, would you?”
He didn’t answer.
Chapter 18
Faith
THE NEXT MORNING, THERE WAS still no word from Jackson. I was terrified something might have happened to him, but I shoved my fears from my mind. There was nothing I could do. I found myself on the back of Grant’s bike, headed to the Socorro Valley, where the Brotherhood was based. I was surprised at how beautiful the landscape was as we approached their home. Vineyards and orange groves covered the mountainside, which sloped down to the Pacific coast. Waves crashed against the jagged cliffs, sending spray up over the highway.
We left the highway at Rio Secco, and rode slowly through the picturesque town, which reminded me of the pictures I’d seen of places like Malibu and Santa Monica. It certainly didn’t feel like the base for a criminal group called the Brotherhood.
The road wound it’s way up into the mountains, through a beautiful vineyard valley, and we stopped outside a colonial mansion shaded by high trees, a stream of crystal clear water flowing from the mountains down through the grounds. A colonnade of white pillars surrounded a central arcade where we parked the bike.
“This is where you live?” I said to Grant as he pulled up next to a number of other motorcycles.
“Don’t act so surprised,” he said. “Jackson wouldn’t send you anywhere you wouldn’t like.”
I admired the vineyard as we walked up the steps onto the veranda. Crickets chirped around us, creating an ocean of sound.
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
“Thank you,” a woman’s voice answered. “It’s a lot of work, but these guys are more useful than they l
ook.”
I looked up at the woman. She was a few years older than me and very beautiful. She had long, blonde hair that framed her pretty face. Her bright eyes sparkled as she took me in.
“You must be Faith,” she said.
“My reputation precedes me.”
“Let me tell you,” she said, “it’s very unlike Jackson to call and have us pick up a woman. To be honest, he’s usually trying to escape them.”
“I guess I’m different.”
The woman looked into my eyes. “Yes, you are,” she said, nodding.
“Is this your house?” I said to her.
“It’s the Brotherhood’s house. It used to be my father’s, he founded the Brotherhood, but he passed on. My name’s Lacey Eden.”
“I see.”
“You’re welcome here as long as you want,” she said.
“I couldn’t intrude.”
“Nonsense. Jackson’s a brother in this place. He’s given his life for all of us. If he wants you here, you’re welcome. There’s nothing more to it.”
“You’re very kind.”
“As long as you don’t cross me,” she said, and winked.
A sly smile crossed her lips, but I got the distinct impression she wasn’t kidding.
“Go on,” Lacey said to Grant. “Take her inside and introduce her to Forrester.”
“Where’s Grady?” Grant said.
“Grady rode out to Nevada to see if he could intercept Jackson. If he rides against Los Lobos alone, they’ll kill him.”
I shuddered. Lacey saw my reaction and put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. I smiled at her.
I followed Grant into the house and my jaw dropped when I saw the inside. The hallway was of a beautiful, white marble, with a big staircase spiraling up to the second floor. We walked through to an enormous room with a fireplace at one end and a wall of glass overlooking the valley at the other. From the window I could see the river sparkling in the sunlight, the vineyards on the slopes of the valley, and in the distance, far below, the blue water of the Pacific.
There was a man sitting on the sofa by the window. He wore ripped jeans and a white tank top. He had the same muscular build as Jackson and Grant, the same intricate tattoo work, and the same rugged look. I was beginning to wonder if sex appeal was a criteria for joining the Brotherhood.
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