There was so much fear. So many questions.
And yet, there he was, standing in front of me.
I was hurt, too. I was angry. It was because of him that I had to go through all this uncertainty. All this fear. I’d been alone for years. I’d raised his son alone. Sam had grown up without knowing the security and comfort of a father. I’d received just three days of love from Jackson, and then years of silence.
He was about to leave, to go back into the bar and send Lacey out to me. I had to stop him.
“I’m afraid,” I said.
“Faith,” he said again.
It melted my heart a little bit more every time he said my name.
“What are you afraid of?” he said.
“So many things. What if you don’t love me anymore?”
He shook his head. He took a step toward me and I let him. I wanted to run toward him but I stopped myself.
“I’ve loved you every second,” he said. “I loved you in my sleep. I loved you when I lay awake in the middle of the night. I loved you when I killed those men who posed a threat to you and Sam.”
Sam. It was the first time I’d heard him say his son’s name. I was crying, ruining my makeup, but I didn’t care.
“What if you don’t love Sam?” I said.
“I love you both,” he said. He was crying now too. “I love you both, Faith. I always have. I’d give my life for you.”
“How do you know?”
“You weren’t the only one who was waiting, Faith. I was waiting too. Those twelve years were so painful I thought they’d kill me. I didn’t let other women touch me in the entire time I was gone. I waited for you. I was true to you, Faith. I swear it.”
I looked at him and I knew it was true. It was as true as the stars in the sky above us. I believed him. I took a step toward him. He came to me and wrapped me up in his powerful arms. When he lifted me into the air I felt like I was flying. I felt like I was in the clouds.
“Jackson,” I cried.
“Faith,” he cried. “I missed you so much, Faith.”
He was so strong he lifted me like a doll. He held me in his arms and brought his lips to mine, pressing them against me in an embrace that melted away all my fears. His face was scarred, his body was hardened from years of violence and hard living, but his lips were soft.
“Have these lips kissed another woman?” I said.
“Not one,” he said.
He didn’t ask about mine. He must have known I was faithful.
He was back. Jackson was back. And he was still mine.
I was still his.
His tongue slid into my mouth and I sucked it softly before meeting it with my own tongue. He lowered me till my feet reached the ground. Then he pulled me against him in an embrace that encompassed our entire bodies. I could feel the bulge in his crotch as it pressed against me.
He wanted me.
He wanted me so badly he was practically bursting out of his jeans. I felt a throb of desire inside me. I remembered just how badly I wanted to feel the length of his cock slide into me. I wanted orgasms, and I wanted to give him orgasms. I wanted him to fuck my brains out mercilessly.
“I need you, Faith,” he said, and I knew he wasn’t kidding. “I need to fuck you. I need to be inside you again. My cock needs to pump my seed deep inside you.”
I laughed. “Slow down, cowboy.”
He squeezed me so tight I felt I could burst. “I’m never letting you go again,” he said. “From now on, I’m keeping you so close no one will be able to threaten you ever again. You’re mine. You’re protected now. All you’ll have to do is spread your legs and let me orgasm inside you. For ever, and ever, and ever.”
I was laughing. He was being funny but he wasn’t kidding. I could tell.
“Thank you,” I found myself saying. “Thank you for protecting me. For protecting both of us. Me and Sam.”
He kissed me again and my heart melted. I burned with passion and desire. I couldn’t believe I had Jackson back. I felt like I was dreaming. Despite everything that had happened, all the time that had passed, he was still the same Jackson I’d known all along.
He lifted me up off my feet again and held me like a husband holding his new bride.
“Where are you taking me?” I said.
“I want to show Lacey and Grant that I have you back.”
“Put me down,” I said, laughing and crying at the same time, but he didn’t.
He held me in his arms as he carried me across the threshold of the Rusty Nail.
When we entered, the entire bar, even those who didn’t know us, cheered.
Chapter 30
Faith
LACEY LOOKED AT ME AND smiled knowingly as Jackson carried me over to the table.
“I see you two have become reacquainted,” she said, teasingly.
“You knew about this?” I said. “You knew he was back and you didn’t tell me?”
“He made me promise not to say a word,” Lacey said.
“But you brought her here,” Jackson said.
Lacey laughed. “And I’m glad I did. You’ve been reconnected now. You have your girl back. If I hadn’t brought her here you’d have let another week pass you by. You two have waited long enough.”
“Thank you,” Jackson said, and he meant it.
I found my seat and Jackson opened the wine as he sat down next to me.
And Damn.
What can I say?
It felt so good to be sitting in that bar next to my man. My makeup was smudged, my heart was still fluttering from nerves, I was still terrified for the future, but I was happy. Jackson was back.
The way he looked at me, as if he was staring right through me, into my soul. I felt naked in front of him. He made me tingle with something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in a very long time. I felt sexy. I felt desirable.
He was so sure of himself. I’d never seen a guy walk with so much swagger. To call him cocky was the understatement of the century. He was like a young Clint Eastwood crossed with Jax from Sons of Anarchy.
I’d forgotten how he made me feel. I felt like a little girl again, the girl who’d walked up to Jackson all those years ago and asked for his help.
It was like going back in time. It was like being reborn. It was like getting a second chance at life. And this time we were going to do it right. We’d make up for all the time we’d lost. I knew we would. There was no Wolf Staten, no Los Lobos, just me, Jackson, and the son our passion had created.
I looked at Lacey and I was so grateful to her. She’d forced this meeting. She’d brought me here.
And at the same time I felt so sorry for her. Her guy was cheating on her, screwing with her mind like a complete jackass, and all the while, I was having the happiest time of my life. I’d never be able to thank her for allowing me to have this moment of happiness. She didn’t make it about herself and her struggle with Matt. She gave me the night, allowed it to be a happy time, despite the fact she was going through her own personal torture.
Jackson nodded to Lacey and poured four glasses of the pinot noir. Then he stood up and motioned for Grant to come join us. He’d been watching the scene from the bar with a big smile on his face.
He came over, said hi to me and Lacey, slapped Jackson hard on the back, and took a glass.
Jackson raised a toast. “To second chances,” he said.
“To second chances,” the rest of us said together.
I tasted the wine and, to my surprise, it was pretty good. No, it was better than good, it was excellent. “This is good wine,” I said and picked up the bottle.
“It’s from my father’s vineyard,” Jackson said.
“I remember Grant saying he was working on your father’s vines.”
“Did he ever take you down there?” Jackson said, his eyes widening.
“No, never.”
“Good,” Jackson said, relieved. “That’s going to be a surprise.”
“Jackson knows all a
bout our wine business,” Lacey said.
I smiled. “How come we never tasted this before, Grant?”
“It wasn’t ready,” he said. “Believe it or not, the first vintage wasn’t ready until the very night Jackson returned from his wanderings.”
“Is that so?” I said.
Jackson and Grant nodded.
“What a coincidence,” I said.
Jackson looked into my eyes. “Nothing in life is a coincidence,” he said.
I blushed under his gaze. The way he looked at me made my cheeks flush. He leaned back in his seat and made no attempt to hide where he was looking. His gaze started at my feet, climbed my legs, passed over my dress and paused at my breasts, before coming up to meet my eyes.
“I missed you,” he said.
My heart fluttered. He stared at my breasts and ass without even trying to conceal the fact. It was the first time in twelve years I’d been examined so closely by a man with sexual intentions. It was thrilling.
I looked at Lacey. She was loving every second of it. She’d waited so long for me to find happiness with Jackson. Even when I was ready to give up, she never let me.
I thought again of the pain she must have been going through with Matt and something inside me wanted to scream. How dare that asshole hurt my best friend. I’d take a bullet for Lacey. I’d have to do something about Matt soon. If Lacey didn’t, I would. After all, she’d intervened to help me and Jackson.
I glanced again at Jackson. I’d been trying not to look at him. I was still getting used to the fact that he was there, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself. Despite my best attempts however, I felt myself trembling with excitement. The way Jackson was looking at me, I felt like a deer on the African plains. Jackson was the lion. I was his prey and he was about to kill me. It would happen very soon. I could feel it.
He’d waited twelve years. He wouldn’t wait another night.
“Lacey,” Jackson said, “would you do me a favor?”
“Sure thing,” she said, looking at him with a naughty twinkle in her eye.
“Would you tell Faith that I find her completely enchanting.”
“Of course,” she said, playing along. Then she turned to me. “This gentleman finds you enchanting, Faith.”
I blushed. “Will you tell him that I know for a fact he’s no gentleman,” I said.
Jackson reached under the table and put his hand on my thigh. I felt as if electricity was rushing from his skin into mine. Desire poured through me.
Lacey giggled. She looked at me.
“Faith,” she said, “you look like you’re going to fall off your seat.”
I can’t describe how I felt. My heart was pounding. I felt nervous and excited and full of lust.
After twelve years of absolutely zero male attention, Jackson coming on to me in front of Grant and Lacey was too much to bear. He was shamelessly flattering me. It had been so long since I’d allowed any man to show me attention.
I liked it. I realized I’d been yearning for it.
I’d done a lot of things during the past twelve years that I was proud of. I’d built a life for Sam and myself. That meant building up the wine business from scratch with Lacey, becoming financially self-sufficient, being a good mother with a stable, sheltered, secure life for Sam.
But I’d done nothing with a man. Nothing at all. I was practically a virgin all over again.
So when Jackson said what he was about to say next, I didn’t know how to react.
“Faith,” he said, “come outside with me.”
“Where?”
He shrugged. “I don’t care where. I just have to be alone with you.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, laughing but also meaning every word I said. “You think you can just show up after God knows how many years, flatter me, and I’ll fall right back into your lap like nothing happened?”
Jackson looked right at me, into my eyes, and I found myself desperate to believe whatever he was about to say.
“I know what happened, Faith. I know I can’t erase that. But if you don’t get back into my lap soon, I swear I’m going to burst.”
Chapter 31
Jackson
WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING? I mean, this wasn’t the way I operated. I know how to deal with women. At least, I used to know. It had been so long since I’d gotten my dick wet it was like I’d lost my touch.
I’d been back in the Socorro Valley a week.
A week!
And I was still pussyfooting around Faith like a boy too scared to ask her to the prom.
Faith didn’t need a guy to show her manners. She’d been waiting for me for twelve years. She needed me to fuck her so hard she had to beg me to stop. She needed an orgasm in her pussy. An orgasm in her mouth. An orgasm in her ass. She needed my jizz flowing out of every hole.
I don’t mean to be crass. I loved this woman and I’d have taken a bullet to see her happy. But shit. I had to get my act together.
Women are the most complicated creatures on God’s green earth, but they’re simple too. You charm them. You challenge them. You flatter them. And then you fuck them. And then you fuck them again. And a third time. And they love you for it. They thank you for it. They beg you for more and then they beg you to stop. They know exactly what they want and if you can’t give it to them, you’re not really a man. At least in my book.
That’s the way it’s always been, since the beginning of time.
So why did this feel different?
Why was Faith making my dick pound with desire, while at the same time terrifying me?
I’ll tell you why. Love. Love was the complicating factor.
I looked into Faith’s eyes. God, she was pretty.
I took her by the hand and led her across the bar.
“Jackson,” she gasped. “Where are you taking me?”
“Have fun, you two,” Grant said, as we left.
Lacey was laughing.
“I’m taking you where I should have taken you a long time ago, Faith.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If I hadn’t gotten mixed up with Los Lobos, this is the place I’d have taken you twelve years ago.”
“If it wasn’t for Los Lobos, we’d never have met at all,” she said.
I looked at her and smiled. She was being kind. She was letting me know that she wasn’t holding what had happened against me. Was she really forgiving me?
Outside, the air was refreshing. It was a relief to get out of the bar. In the moonlight, Faith looked even more attractive. All I wanted was a chance to talk to her alone.
I led her to the pickup truck and opened the passenger door for her.
“Where are you taking me?” she said.
“You’ll see.”
She climbed up into her seat and I hurried around and got in next to her. I took the truck out onto the road and down into the valley, past the spot where she’d almost killed me a week earlier.
“I can’t believe you said nothing when you were in my car,” she said.
I looked across at her. Fuck, she was beautiful. She was an angel. My angel.
“The time wasn’t right,” I said.
She smiled and nodded. “You’re right,” she said. “This feels better.”
We were driving away from the town, down toward the bottom of the valley, where the peaks of the mountains rose sharply up from the river. We passed the Brotherhood mansion and Faith looked down the driveway toward it.
“Grant took me there after you left,” she said.
“I know. Did you like it there?”
“Yes, I did. And I’ve liked knowing the Brotherhood was there for me if I needed them. Lacey and the brothers helped me get established. Lacey’s still my best friend.”
I nodded.
“I thought you were taking me there now,” she said. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
We drove on a couple more miles and then I pulled down th
e driveway of my father’s vineyard.
“Where is this place?” she said.
“My father’s old place.”
“Oh.”
I pulled up outside the house and killed the engine. I looked at Faith. There were tears in her eyes when she looked back at me.
“I’ve never been here,” she said.
“Well, you’re here with me, now.”
“I’m glad to be.”
“This is where I grew up.”
“And what are you going to do with me here?” she said, a sparkle in her eye.
“Come on,” I said.
I got out of the truck and helped her out of her side.
“Are we going into the house?”
“Not yet. I’m still working on the house. I don’t want you to see it until it’s ready.”
“Ready for what?”
I didn’t answer.
“What did you think of that wine?” I said.
“I liked it. I really did. And I know wine. I think I could find some restaurants in the city that would be interested.”
I opened the tailgate and hopped up onto the back of the truck.
“You want to see what else we’ve got?” I said. “There’s a case here with Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Syrah, Grenache.”
“You had me at Merlot,” she said, laughing.
I reached down to her and she seemed to hesitate for just a second before giving me her hand and letting me pull her up into the back of the truck.
“Would it be out of line if I were to pay you a complement?” I said.
She laughed but she was listening. “That depends.”
I could tell she was blushing. She was probably glad it was dark.
“On what?”
“On whether or not you mean it.”
I couldn’t lie to her. I could never lie to her. She was a part of my soul.
“You are an angel, Faith. You are an absolute angel.”
She looked away.
We sat at the back of the truck, our backs against the cab. I’d brought our wineglasses from the bar and set them in front of us.
“What do you want to try first?” I said.
“You choose?”
I looked at her for a second. It was a surreal moment. The moon was shining above us. We were outside the house I’d grown up in. We had a child together, and yet it was as if we were two strangers. We were soulmates who’d been forced apart for over a decade. It reminded me of those stories of twins separated at birth. Somehow, they maintain a deep connection, despite the fact they’ve been kept apart their whole lives. There was heat in the air but it wasn’t oppressive. Crickets were chirping for twenty miles in every direction and they created a comforting din, like the sound of the ocean.
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