But however much Josie’s needs came into it, there was no escaping the facts. She had wanted security, Mary’s home and position, and now she was going to get just that.
Daniel stood up suddenly. “You’re tired, love,” he said gently. “We’ll talk some more tomorrow – six months of tomorrows. Bed for you now. Come on.”
He pulled her to her feet, and with an arm across her shoulders led her to the door. “I’ll see you on duty tomorrow morning. And maybe we’ll have time to go out in the afternoon, mmm? You can show me this town and we’ll see what we can plan in the way of entertainment for ourselves this weekend. Matron says we’re both off duty. Away with you now – “ and he pushed her gently away before clattering off cheerfully to his own room down the corridor, turning at his door to wave briefly to her.
She slept fitfully that night. Too much had happened too suddenly for clear thought. Engaged to Geoffrey – Josie to face with the news, and now Daniel, like a sudden gust of wind on a hot day, blowing her off her balance, so that she lost the equilibrium that seemed so much a part of her makeup.
When she came on duty the next morning, she felt a little better. The mere act of putting on her starched uniform was like putting on a sort of mental armour. While she was on duty she wouldn’t have to think about herself and her own confused problems.
She escorted Daniel round the hospital, trying not to notice the way interest in his masculine good looks made even the older nurses smooth their uniform dresses over their hips, a little amused at the way the patients in the women’s ward sat up straighter in their beds and slyly tweaked their hair into order as he came through the door.
He was clearly enchanted with the hospital, just as she had been herself when she had first come to it. He seemed to relax, to lose some of the stiffness that was so much a part of a Royal doctor, to become more of a person and less of a medical mind in a white coat.
There were a few patients for him in Casualty, a couple of out-patients to be seen, and one or two routine ward jobs. By lunchtime he had finished his day’s work, and Matron Elliott, cheerfully doling out meat pies at the communal lunch table said, “Now, Sister Hughes. I’m on this afternoon, so you take Doctor Marston out and show him Sandleas. Not much to see, Doctor, I grant you, but a bit of sea air’ll do you good after all that London rush you’re used to. We’ll make you as healthy to look at as we did Sister Hughes, I promise you! She was a peaky thing when she came here, and look at her now!”
The other nurses tittered dutifully, and stole sly looks at Barbara’s flaming cheeks. Daniel laughed lazily, and grinned at Barbara.
“You’ve made a new woman of her, Matron!” he said wickedly. “I wouldn’t have recognised her.”
“And we’ll do the same for you,” Matron said comfortably. “You’ve plenty of time for all that studying you want to do, so you get out into the air this afternoon.”
Barbara felt a little angry. However well Matron meant, her over-emphasis on their old friendship, the way she seemed determined to throw them together, embarrassed her. She didn’t want to go out with Daniel that afternoon, didn’t want to be alone with him. And with her usual honesty, Barbara knew why. Sooner or later she would have to tell him about Geoffrey, and she wanted to make it as late as possible.
But the problem was solved for her. As they left the dining room after lunch, to make way for the second sitting, the junior nurse from Casualty came panting up the corridor towards them. Matron had already waddled off to her office, so the nurse stopped in front of Barbara, and said breathlessly, “Please, Sister, there’s a man in Casualty, looks very ill. Could you please come?”
With Daniel close behind her, she followed the nurse back to the little department. An ambulance man came out of the small cubicle at the back of the room, and nodded impartially at them both.
“Afternoon, Doctor – Sister. Picked this bloke up on the Front. Thought he was drunk at first, but I’m not so sure now – ”
They pushed the curtain aside, and went in to stand beside the couch to look down on the white unshaven face of an elderly man. He was rolling his head from side to side and groaning, his knees drawn up, his face twisted with pain. Gently, Daniel straightened the bent legs, and with quick fingers unbuttoned his clothes to expose the abdomen. The man opened his eyes, and attempted a smile before creasing his face back into the lines of pain.
“Awful belly ache – “ he muttered.
Daniel’s examination was quick and thorough. He asked a few concise questions, nodding at the old man’s confused answers. As his stethoscope moved over the bony chest and then over the distended abdomen, Barbara, preparing notes and a chart for Daniel, noticed, almost unwillingly, the way his square shoulders moved under the white coat, the crisply curling hair at the nape of his neck, the sharp lines of his profile. How could she have forgotten how attractive he was?
Daniel straightened and, with a friendly pat on the old man’s shoulder, held the curtain aside for Barbara to precede him out into the Casualty room.
“He’s got an obstruction – pretty low one, I think. He’ll need surgery. Can you manage a laparotomy here, or must he be moved to Dover?”
“We can manage,” Barbara said. “I’ll set up – Nurse!”
As Daniel went back to explain to the patient what was to be done, Barbara sent the little nurse scuttling off to arrange for a bed to be prepared in the ward and to tell Matron, before making her own way to the theatre.
As she laid up, methodically preparing the instruments and trolleys, she felt almost guilty at her sense of relief. It was tough on the old man of course, but Barbara was truly grateful for his obstruction. Now she would be able to shelve the difficult afternoon tête-à-tête with Daniel.
Matron put her head round the door, holding one end of her veil over her mouth as a sort of mask.
“Shall I take this, Sister?” she asked in a muffled voice. “It’s your half day – ”
“I don’t mind,” Barbara said cheerfully. “If you took it, I’d still have to stay on to cover the rest of the hospital. And you know I like theatre – ”
“Bless you, m’dear.” Matron was relieved. “It isn’t one of my fortes, I must say. Doctor Marston’ll be better served if you’re here. I’ll send a junior to run,” and she scuttled off, her shoes clacking busily along the corridor outside.
The operation went smoothly. The local G.P. who came to do anaesthetics arrived in plenty of time, and an hour after the old man had first arrived at the hospital, he was on the table being sheeted up by Barbara, while Daniel scrubbed his strong brown forearms at the sink in the corner.
Daniel was an even better surgeon than she had remembered, Barbara thought, watching the strong square fingers working. As she slapped instruments into his outstretched hand and threaded needles for him, Barbara felt happier than she had for a long time. This was the work she was meant for – all that she ever really wanted to do. And she pushed the implications of the thought aside to concentrate on the work in hand.
Daniel found the obstruction, and grunted a little as he saw the extent of the damage it had done.
“I’ll have to do a resection, Sister,” he said. “Have you the gear, or do you need time to get it ready?”
“It’s all here,” Barbara said, unable to avoid letting a little note of pride from creeping into her voice.
Daniel winked at the anaesthetist. “Such a theatre sister!” he murmured. And the anaesthetist smiled back, and nodded happily at Barbara. “We’re lucky to have her here, Doctor,” he said. “We’re all hoping she’ll stay a good while too – ”
The operation went on, Daniel resecting out the damaged portion of gut, making his anastomosis neatly, settling the drains carefully in place.
When the last stitch was in, and Barbara had put the dressing on, they stood back to watch him on his way out of the theatre, Matron bustling at the head of the trolley, the anaesthetist on the other side, watching the tired old face above the red blanket of the trol
ley.
“He’ll do,” Daniel said, satisfaction in his voice. “But I’m glad that ambulance man found him. Another couple of hours, and he mightn’t have done so well. I’d give my eye teeth for a cuppa, Bar.”
She stretched and laughed. “Me too. Look, Nurse, can you clear up here? I’ll chase up some tea for Doctor Marston, and come back to check the instruments later.”
It was like old times, she thought, sitting in an armchair in Matron’s little office, a steaming cup of tea cradled in her hands. To sit in companionable silence after a difficult case, knowing that she had been as good as his right hand – just as it always had been. She sighed a small sigh of pleasure.
Daniel smiled across at her from his perch on Matron’s cluttered desk.
“You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” he said abruptly.
“Mmm. It’s always good to get a tricky one, and know he’s going to do,” she said dreamily. “Makes it all so – worthwhile somehow.”
“Barbara – “ His voice sounded so odd, that she pulled her head up sharply to stare at him.
He was looking at her with an odd expression on his face, his eyes glinting a little under the line of hair that showed beneath the theatre cap pushed back over his head. Above the mask dangling under his chin, his mouth was very straight.
He dropped his eyes to stare down into his cup.
“If I get my Mastership, I’m going abroad,” he said abruptly. “I’ve been offered a chance in a million. There’s a hospital in Australia – out in the bush a bit – being built, and they want a chief of staff to get it going properly. They’ll take me without the extra degree, but I want it because I think I’ll do a better job if I get it.”
He raised his head to stare at her, his eyes suddenly sombre. “I had it all worked out, you know. It was just what I wanted – a new hospital, plenty of chance to really develop a surgical set-up where it was desperately needed – I thought that was all I wanted. Until I came here.”
She said nothing, staring up at him in a sort of hypnotic trance.
“I didn’t know just how much I’d missed you until I saw you again yesterday, Bar. But I did. Dreadfully.” He managed a smile. “You’d become a part of my life, and I’d hardly realised it.”
“No – “ she wanted him to stop, to go back to being his old ordinary self. She didn’t like this – the way he was looking at her, the words that she knew were coming. “No – ”
“Yes,” he said gently. “You are a part of my life, Bar. I – “ He looked like a little boy for a moment, and then jumped down from the desk, to come and stand above her chair, leaning down to look deeply into her eyes.
“Barbara – I love you. A great deal. Will you marry me and come out to the wilds with me?” His eyes laughed down into hers, pleading, but somehow confident.
She sat there in her chair, still clutching her cup in both hands, staring up at him, shakingly aware of his arms on each side of her as he rested his hands on the arms of her chair, feeling his warm breath on her face, smelling the achingly familiar mixture of ether and soap and tweed that was so much a part of him.
“Will you, Bar?” he said again, a fleeting line appearing between his eyes.
Behind him a door opened sharply. Daniel straightened, and turned his head angrily to stare at the intruder. From the depths of the chair Barbara could see beyond Daniel’s stocky shape to the doorway framing Geoffrey. He stood there, his hat held tightly in one hand, the other diffidently, touching his tie.
“I’m so sorry,” he said hesitantly. “The nurse outside said I would find Sister Hughes here – ”
Barbara, pulled out of her trance, got to her feet.
“It’ll all right, Geoffrey,” she said. “Here I am.
Anything wrong?”
His face lit up at the sight of her. “No – nothing wrong, my dear. But I thought you might be off duty this afternoon, so I came to see if you would care to come down to Westchester to see Josie – ”
Daniel moved suddenly, and crossed the room to pick up his cup of tea again from the desk where he had left it. Geoffrey, a little puzzled, said again, “I’m so sorry – perhaps I’d better go – I didn’t realise you weren’t off duty – ”
“I am now, I think – we just had an emergency operation, but it’s finished. I’ve a bit of clearing up to do, but that isn’t too much – “ She was gabbling in her nervousness. Geoffrey, undecided, half turned to go, and Barbara put her hand out to pull him back. “Geoffrey – I’d like you to meet an old – friend of mine,” she said, her voice sounding harsh in her own ears. “This is Daniel Marston, Geoffrey.”
Daniel turned and came over to the door, his face smooth and expressionless again. “How do you do,” he said, holding his hand out to Geoffrey.
“Geoffrey – “ she felt her throat constrict suddenly, and swallowed. “Geoffrey and I are to be married, Daniel,” she said, looking straight ahead of her. “We – it was decided yesterday evening.”
Chapter Twelve
The silence was so thick it was almost palpable. Geoffrey looked at Barbara with a faint line between his brows, apparently unaware of the effect her statement had had on the man standing beside them. Then he said, “Er – I thought we weren’t going to – ”
“Oh, that’s all right, Geoffrey.” Barbara’s voice was high and brittle. “You needn’t worry about Daniel. He’s a stranger to the town, so he’s hardly likely to use this as gossip – and he’s an old friend of mine.”
Geoffrey’s face cleared. “Then, of course – “ and he turned to smile rather diffidently at Daniel.
“Forgive me,” he said charmingly, “it’s just that we – we hadn’t intended to talk about this yet, for one reason and another, but of course, as an old friend – ”
“My congratulations,” Daniel’s voice was harsh. “I hope you’ll be very happy, both of you,” and with a curt nod, he turned and left, the door swinging sharply closed behind him.
“Odd chap.” Geoffrey stared at the door with irritation. “Is he always so brusque?”
“Oh – I don’t know.” Barbara turned to the mirror above the fireplace and pulled off her theatre cap, avoiding Geoffrey’s eyes. “You wanted to go to see Josie today?”
“I thought it might be a good idea.” He sat down and stretched his legs a little. “I was thinking, you see, and it did occur to me that however careful we were, someone might hear and tell her before we did – and that wouldn’t be good, would it?”
“Who could tell her?”
“Well – Mrs. Lester, for one. I don’t want to sound suspicious, but she’s an inquisitive woman, and I’ve sometimes thought she was a bit more interested in my private affairs than she should be – I think she – “ he made a face, “I think she listens at doors. And she’s been behaving a bit oddly today already. So – ”
“Yes – you’re probably right.” Barbara straightened. “Look, I’ll have to see if Matron will finish clearing up for me – if she will, I’ll be ready in about half an hour. Will that be all right?”
“Of course. I’ll wait for you here, shall I?”
Later, as she sat beside Geoffrey in the car, driving the thirty miles to Josie’s school, Barbara tried to think. Daniel, asking her to marry him –
“Oh, God,” she thought drearily. “Why couldn’t he have come sooner, before Geoffrey had asked me? Or why in hell couldn’t he have stayed away?” For a moment, she almost hated Daniel, hated him for the way his proposal had made her heart leap dizzily, hated him for opening up a line of thought she had firmly killed years before.
There had been a time when she had wanted Daniel to love her, a time when she had dreamed about marriage to him, but as their friendship had continued along its old familiar lines, she had told herself that it was no more than friendship, and stifled her hopes. And now –
The car slid to a stop outside the tall old building in its neat grounds, and Geoffrey turned off the engine and sat in silence for a second. Then he said, “It’s
ridiculous – I feel as nervous as a kitten. Almost as nervous as I did last night, when I spoke to you – she’s a funny child – ”
“Sitting here worrying won’t help,” Barbara said crisply. “We’d better see her, I suppose. Then we’ll know where we are – ”
He nodded, and got out of the car, to come round to open her door and help her out.
“Thank God for your calm good sense, Barbara. The more I see of it, the more grateful I am that you are – you’re to be my wife.”
Barbara didn’t answer. She couldn’t. “To be desirable for one’s good sense,” she thought wryly. “I wonder if that’s what Daniel finds attractive – “ and pushed the thought away.
Miss Le Courbet was charm itself. She was a smooth elegant woman, with an overpowering personality that made Barbara feel like a schoolgirl herself for a little while. She sat silently in the luxurious study while Geoffrey, with some embarrassment, explained why they had come, and what they wanted to tell Josie. Miss Le Courbet was clearly in delighted approval.
“I am so glad you took my suggestion so kindly, Mr. Martin,” she said smoothly. “One sometimes fears that one’s good intentions may be misconstrued. I am more than delighted for you both, of course, and that your decision should be one that will so obviously be to Josephine’s benefit.”
Barbara felt a little sick. The elegant woman was obviously in no misconception about the situation. Barbara and Geoffrey were to make a marriage of convenience, and she saw this as clearly as if she had been present in Geoffrey’s drawing-room the night before and had listened to his proposal. Barbara felt like a character in a Victorian novel, and hated herself for it.
But she had little time for thought; Miss Le Courbet sent for Josie, and with a sleek smile, left the three of them together in the big quiet study.
Josie stood at the door, her face paler than ever above the dark green of her uniform gym slip and white blouse.
“Hello, Daddy. Hello, Auntie Bar,” she said. “How are you?”
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