They were only frightened, he told himself. Only tired, scared, and expecting to die. They didn’t want laws to live by. They didn’t want truths to mold their lives around. They wanted weak grace, a childish promise of safety in the hereafter. Darius frowned, his heart bitter. No Golden Eternity awaited them, only the belly of wolves. He shook his head, knowing he was being cruel. Had he not admitted Jerico his friend a few nights prior? It was only under Pheus’s watch that he felt such a failure. What did that mean? Had he fallen from his god’s wisdom? For surely the elder priest was closer to Karak than he was…
Doing his best to shove the thoughts from his mind, he approached Jerico and stood before him, feeling strangely awkward.
“A fine job,” he said.
“Don’t feel like it.”
“Trust me on it. Has Daniel informed you of our plan?”
Jerico nodded. “I looked them over. So much of it depends upon the two of us. I don’t know if I can do it, Darius.”
“You don’t have much choice,” Darius said, a grim smile on his face. “It’ll be just you and me between the wolves and their meal. Neither of us can fail, and we won’t, either.”
Jerico smacked his shoulder, and for the first time that day, he really smiled.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said.
“Glad to hear you admit it. Maybe you’ll start listening to other things I have to say as well.”
It would be the last peaceful night before the wolf-men attacked, and Darius knew he must use it. His muscles ached, for he’d worked side by side with the rest of the village. They’d said little to him, though they showed no animosity or uncomfortable reactions, either. He knew he should be guarding the tavern, but he’d convinced Daniel to send a few of his men over instead under the excuse that he needed to pray, which was no lie.
Darius kept his hand on the hilt of his sword as he approached the thin forest that lay between them and the river. He knew the wolf-men surrounded them, watching for any escape attempts, but he strayed north, not quite reaching the river. He listened for the occasional howls, and he kept his body crouched low. With how bright the moon was, he needed no torch for light. Should he reach the forest, he figured he would be safe for a while. The wolves would expect men to try to flee upon the river, not hide beside it.
Once surrounded by trees, he cleared a space of leaves, and with his hands, tore away the grass until he exposed bare earth. Using his sword, he carved a circle. His throat tightened, and he felt his pulse race. What he was about to do was beyond dangerous. Here he was, a potential disappointment to Karak, ready to enact one of Karak’s most sacred rituals. Every motion must be perfect. Every word spoken must be true. Karak was a god of Order, and he would not suffer the presence of one with so much chaos in his heart.
The circle complete, he carved seven runes around it, double-checking each and every one. Satisfied, he thrust his blade into the center, both hands clutching the hilt. Dark fire surrounded it, and he cried out to Karak despite the danger of the wolf-men. The fire burst, and it filled the circle of dirt, though it had nothing to burn. It burned on his faith, he’d been told at the Stronghold, and for it to burn strong, so must he be strong. He repeated prayers to Karak, strengthening the fire. At last he dared make his request known.
“Reveal the fate awaiting me,” he whispered. “What will happen if I deny Jerico a death at my hand?”
He stared, not daring to blink, not daring to breathe. In the center of the fire he saw what looked like a dark pebble. It grew, and it seemed like a window to another world, its edges washing over his blade as if it were not there. Within its center he saw the answer to his question. His heart recoiled, and only his strong will kept his hands closed, his jaw clenched shut.
Jerico stood over him, mace in hand. Blood, Darius’s blood, stained its edges. At his feet, Darius saw himself lying there, wounded, beaten, and asking for death.
“No!” he cried, yanking free his blade. Above him thunder rolled, though not a cloud covered the sky. The dark fire continued to burn, traveling up his blade to the hilt. It touched his bare hand, and though it had never harmed him before, today he felt its heat with startling clarity. His skin blackened. His nerves flared with pain. Tears rolled down his face and, unable to withstand the punishment, he dropped his weapon. At the loss of contact, the fire vanished, plain steel landing atop the carpet of leaves. Clutching his blackened hand to his chest, he wept for his weakness.
“Must it be so?” he asked, unable to believe it.
He glanced down at his hand. He expected blistered skin, but instead he saw only the dark hue his flesh had become. He flexed it, and it wasn’t tight, nor did it cause him pain. He’d been marked, he knew, permanently branded with his weakness and doubt. A burnt, blackened hand wielding a sword of dark flame. Faith burned both ways, he realized. He was naïve to think otherwise.
“My god asks for your death,” Darius said, sheathing his blade. He rolled his hand up in a scrap of cloth, having no desire to look upon it. “And I will obey. You are no friend, Jerico, for what friend would strike me down? I am a paladin, damn it, a paladin of Karak.”
Hollow, frightened words, born of pain. He knew it, and he tried to pretend he didn’t. Hardening his heart, he returned to the inn and slept. But Karak was not done with him. Throughout the night, Darius had one dream, and it was of himself lying on the ground, Jerico towering over him. They had fought, though he never remembered the beginning, only the end. Every time, it was Jerico who was the mightier paladin, taller, better, and with Darius’s blood on his mace.
12
The day passed quiet and uneventful, with most of them sleeping. All but Redclaw. He tossed and turned so much his two pups shifted away, curling their bodies against others of his pack. He didn’t blame them, but he was also envious. They didn’t understand the momentous occasion before them. They only knew that many were nervous, that their father was quick to anger, and that numerous strangers had come to stay, feasting the night before on orc, goblin, and hyena. Bellies full, they slept while Redclaw watched the steady rise of their chests.
He tilted his head, hiding it from the glare of the sun. Often he wished there were caves about, but knew of none, and the few trees that grew in the Wedge were thin, offering little shade. Shielding his eyes with an arm, he wished for the cool grace of the moon. In it, he felt hidden. In it, he felt like the Wolf King. Under the sun, he was just another wolf-man, doing his best to sleep.
A hand touched his shoulder, and he rolled, growling. An elderly wolf stood over him, and she frowned at the noise he made.
“What is it you want, female?” he asked her.
“Come, and be quiet about it,” she said, her voice low. Without an explanation, she turned and began walking toward the river. Grumbling, he glanced at his pups, then followed. Her name was Silver-Ear, though that silver had long since faded to a dull gray. While most elderly fell in battle before reaching Silver’s edge, she had been given a special place at the back of every fight, often partaking of fresh blood only after the rest of the pack had obtained victory. She was the shaman of their pack, though rarely did she wield her influence.
The wind howled, and Redclaw wondered if a storm would come. He hoped one would not. The clouds were still a calm white, nearly blotting out the sun. Heavy rains might make the Gihon dangerous, and he didn’t want to lose anyone to something as simple as water.
“Where do you take me?” he asked Silver-Ear, having easily caught up with her. Behind them, the pack slowly vanished into the distance.
“You ask what you will soon know,” she said. “Is that the patience of a Wolf King?”
“And is it the place of a shaman to command a king?”
Her yellow eyes, dulled and filled with veins, showed a hint of their former youth as she laughed.
“King, pup, or warrior, we of the moon fear none, and speak truth to all. Let us hurry, though, if you so desire. We are almost there.”
The grou
nd grew more uneven, and the grass healthier as they neared the river. The clouds deepened, and he felt glad for those on the other side of the Gihon, forced to patrol in the miserable daylight to ensure no one villager escaped, nor any outsiders stumbled upon the situation. At least with the shade they might find rest for their eyes. Silver-Ear led him to the north, stopping twice to track the ground. Sensing they were near their destination, she slowed and began talking, her voice still low.
“I watched your father raise you from a pup,” she said. “I know you are a wolf like all others, but you are to be Wolf King. In others’ eyes, you must be greater. Your pack listens to me when they must, but I know what I am to them. I am an old gray-fur to help their mates birth their pups, and to crush herbs when sickness makes their noses run and their teeth bleed. But other packs are not like ours. The shamans of the moon hold great sway over their leaders, and there are some who are ruled by their whims. You must convince them as well, and they will not bow to sheer strength.”
“Then what will convince them?” he asked.
She led him into a thick copse of trees, and in its center, he saw a cave.
“You pass the rite of the moonless dark.”
The cave at first seemed little more than a hole in the ground, but as he looked down he saw it was very deep, the rock twisted and worn. At the bottom it curled inward, and he could see no further.
“What is this rite?” he asked, apprehension swelling in him. He knew he’d wished for a cave, but something about this one seemed dangerous.
“Sit, and I will explain.”
She had tied little pouches about her arms with string, the only human form of clothing any of them wore. Opening one, she crushed its leaves and scattered them into a small ring. Chanting ancient words that held no meaning for him, she cast her hands across them. The leaves burst into flame, then quickly petered out, leaving only a heavy trail of smoke rising to the sky.
“Breathe in deep,” she ordered. “Goldmoon is foul to eat, but its smoke has purpose.”
Its scent was bitter, and he could not focus on its color, for it seemed to change. He felt his head go light and his stomach cramp.
“It will pass,” Silver-Ear said. “While the moon sleeps, you will enter a darkness never touched by her light. All shamans must pass a cave like this somewhere in the Wedge, and we guard them carefully. The goldmoon you have breathed in will open your mind to this darkness. You must conquer it, for it will be filled with your fears. Do not turn back, Wolf King. There is but one way, and you must pass through. I will be waiting at the other side.”
“What if I do not return?”
She grinned at him, her mouth missing many teeth.
“Then you were never truly our Wolf King. Go into the cave, Redclaw. Go face your fear.”
He descended, using the jagged edges of rock as hand and footholds on his way down. The scent of the cave was strong, wet stone, undisturbed earth, and the distant odor of a strange animal’s shit. He glanced back at Silver-Ear, but she was gone. His stomach lurched, for it seemed the trees above shivered, and their color grew more and more vivid until at last he did not want to look anymore. Mustering his courage, he crawled into the cave.
Redclaw’s eyes were no stranger to darkness, but once he passed the second turn, he found himself in its truest form. No touch of light came here. This was a place the moon never saw. Normally he might use his nose to guide himself, but everywhere was the smell of musty stone. Only the animal shit could guide him, though he still had to inhale deeply. Trying to know where it was strongest was like staring at two blades of grass and trying to determine which was the thicker.
Step after step he went, his back hunched, until there was only room to crawl. His sharp ears heard only the echoes of his claws clicking against the stone. No, that was wrong. He heard other things, but he wanted to believe them only in his imagination. It was a rustling sound, maybe a heavy fluttering…
“I am not afraid,” he growled, but immediately wished he hadn’t. The sound seemed weak, insignificant compared to the massive amount of stone surrounding him. He was like an ant in the earth, just a lowly ant. His back brushed a column, and he knew at any moment everything could collapse. All his strength, all his dreams of glory, would mean nothing to the rock. Following the thread of scent, he crawled.
Several minutes in, Redclaw saw the first of the visions. Silver-Ear had told him to expect his fears, but this wasn’t the combat he had anticipated. Sights hid at the corner of his vision. He heard sounds, but strangely, they did not echo. He heard snarls and growls, and his fur stood on end. Many times it came from straight ahead, but he told himself he would fear nothing. He would back down from no challenge. Random streaks of color flashed before him, never lasting long. He ignored them best he could. His head felt even lighter, and he occasionally shook it and wished he had something to eat. If only he could think clearly, fill his belly with blood and meat to make the sensation go away.
The cavern suddenly opened up before him. His back touched no stone, and a chill wind blew against him. Willing to risk it, he stood, holding an arm above him so he did not bump his head. He touched nothing. Sucking in the cold air, he howled at the top of his lungs, defying the darkness. The noise echoed, seeming to grow with each passing second. His ears ached, but he would not give in. The colors before him merged, taking form, and then he saw the fear the shaman warned him of.
It was his father, Skysight. He had been pack leader, and before his death, commanded a mighty force of four hundred strong. His eyes were a clear blue, and they sparkled with an intelligence most wolf-men could only dream of.
“Why have you come?” asked his father.
“Because I must,” he said. “I am Wolf King. I must know no fear.”
Skysight laughed.
“Stupid pup. Have you known fear before?”
Ashamed, he nodded.
“And do you know it now?”
“I do.”
Another laugh. For a moment Skysight faded, then reemerged. He seemed so bright in the darkness, his body almost entirely white, as if a great moon shone upon him.
“Are you defeated now? Are you no longer Wolf King? What does it matter if you are afraid?”
Redclaw swallowed. His father was dead; he knew this, for he had witnessed his death, along with the near shattering of his pack in a vicious battle against another group of wolves. What was it he spoke to? A spirit? A vision? Or was he hearing only what he wanted to hear?
“It matters,” said Redclaw, “for you were never afraid. You were greater than I, yet you were never Wolf King. By what right can I claim it if you never did?”
Skysight shook his head.
“You ask the wrong questions. You make wrong answers. I died, while you lived. I fell to Grassgut, yet you tore out his throat and scattered his pack. How can I be the greater?”
His father shimmered, became a corpse, became bones, and then was gone. Redclaw was once more alone in the cave. Snot ran from his nose, and water leaked from his eyes.
What does it matter if you are afraid?
What indeed? He wished to live. That was all. More than anything, he savored life, and the life of his pups. It gave him purpose. It gave him strength. And when his opponent sought to end his life, more than anything he refused to let them. His fear was from a desire for life, and he knew that, as long as he never succumbed to it, he would be the greater. He was a wolf-man who knew fear when all others knew only bloodlust. Would that be his legacy? Would that understanding grant him the rule he desired?
He crossed the great cavern, following the smell of shit. At the other end, when his claws touched stone, he heard a sound behind him. He turned and saw Goldfoot, his mate. She lay on the ground, her form swarming with shadows. She was not looking at him. Not a sound escaped her lips.
Come to me, he heard, as if the voice came from the center of his head. He almost did. He wanted to lift Goldfoot up, to tell her that her pups had grown strong, th
at her death in birthing them had granted them life. But Silver-Ear’s words echoed in his mind. There was only one way. He could not go back.
“You are not here,” he said, the words heavy on his tongue. “You are gone. You are dead. As are you, father. I do not need you. I am mighty. I am Wolf King.”
But even the Wolf King knew how small he was when his voice echoed in that cavern. He put his back to the image, shook his head, and then pressed on.
The strange rustling grew stronger as he crawled through another tunnel. Twice he thought he might be stuck, but he sucked in his breath and shifted side to side, refusing to panic. More than anything, he desired the light of day, for even it was better than true darkness. Even its burning fire was better than a night without either. A life without moon and sun was empty; it closed about him, and it made a mockery of his powerful senses. Closer and closer, the rustling. He heard squeaks within it, and by now the smell was potent.
A subtle turn, and then he was there. His eyes winced, and he realized that he could see. Creatures covered the ceiling, and the noise they made was deafening. Bats, he realized, the night birds that flew above them during hunts. The smell of their shit curled his stomach, and breathing its fumes made him dizzy. Turning away, he returned to the large cavern, took in a full, clean breath, and then returned. Holding his breath, he crawled through the bat shit. Redclaw felt their droppings fall upon him, and his anger grew. Was this meant to humble him?
But he could see light, however small. It was nearly blazing to his eyes now, and he followed it quick as he could. One turn, then another, and finally he could hold his breath no more. He let it out slowly, then took in another. The smell was already weaker. A hint of warm air blew across his skin. One bent step, then another, and finally he emerged into the daylight, the exit far larger and surrounded by trees.
Paladins 01 - Night of Wolves Page 13
