‘What’s that?’ Effie asked Raven, suddenly.
‘This?’ said Raven, holding out her wand. ‘It’s my wand.’
Wand. Wonde. Effie wondered whether . . .
‘You could try this one if you like,’ she said to Raven, pulling out of her bag the thin stick her grandfather had asked her to retrieve. ‘I mean, only if you want to.’
But as soon as Raven saw the real wonde, which had been cut from a very mystical hazel tree several centuries before, and used for spells powerful beyond comprehension, the silly thing she had bought from the catalogue simply fell to the ground. The true wonde then jumped into her hands. It seemed to know that Raven was a true witch, and wanted to go to her, to feel her true witch’s skin against its shiny ancient wood, to help her in whatever she wanted to achieve, which was, at this moment . . .
It’s impossible to write out the language of spiders on the page. Spiders don’t really have words made from letters in the way we do. But Raven was suddenly able to speak their language fluently. Before, when she was completely relaxed and alone, she could telepathically communicate in a basic way with animals – as all true witches can. But this was different. Now, with the extra lifeforce given to her by her communion with the wonde, and with the powers of the wonde itself, Raven could speak directly to the spiders in a way she had never before dreamed of.
She had already sensed the spiders’ fear and confusion. Now she was able to talk to them about their life in the pet shop, and of the rough jerk of having their tank picked up by a man surrounded by the aura of very dark magic, and then being tipped out onto this cold floor and left with no food, no nest – nothing. Raven explained to them why this had happened and the spiders were very upset to hear that they were being used as some sort of ‘weapon’.
There is no word in Spider – or indeed in any other animal language – for ‘weapon’, because animals don’t have weapons. The nearest that Raven could get was to explain that a human was trying to poison other humans by using the spiders – but even this was confusing because the spiders then thought that the other human wanted to eat these humans, and wondered why he couldn’t poison them himself. But they certainly wanted no part of the evil one’s plan.
‘Can you come in and help us get out?’ asked the biggest spider.
‘No. The door is locked,’ Raven said back. ‘There is a human boy in there who will help you. He will pick you up and give you to me. But you must not bite him. Do you understand? He means you no harm. You will feel fear coming from him, but it is not a threat. It’s just the way some humans are with spiders.’
The biggest spider spoke to the others. There was some argument from the smallest one, who said he had really had enough of being handled by humans anyway and just wanted to go back to his family in Chile. The biggest one said that once they were out they could negotiate with the witch about their return to the wild, and eventually the smallest one agreed.
‘All right,’ the biggest one said to Raven. ‘We will gather together and wait.’
Then all three spiders made their way to the centre of the room and stood there, waiting patiently for Maximilian to . . .
‘Arrrgh!’ he cried. ‘They’re coming for me! KILL THEM! KILL THEM!’
‘Maximilian,’ Raven said. ‘You have to get down carefully and pick the spiders up and give them to me. Be gentle. I think they want to travel together but you can give them to me one by one if you’d prefer, as long as you’re quick about it. They have all agreed not to bite you.’
Maximilian, who had been quite purple from the effort of holding on to the light fixture, now went completely white.
‘No,’ he said. ‘Anything but that. Please. I’m terrified of spiders. Phobic. Please. Someone just has to kill them.’
Raven sighed. ‘What if they thought the same about you?’ she said.
‘You have to do this,’ said Effie. ‘Be brave. Trust Raven. She’s a true witch. She’s spoken to the spiders and they have agreed not to hurt you.’
‘What if they lied?’
‘Creatures from nature don’t lie,’ said Raven. ‘They can’t.’
‘Why not?’
Raven rolled her eyes. ‘Please, Maximilian. Don’t make me explain. Just trust me. Put your hand near to one of them and wait for him to climb on. Then gently bring your hand up to me here and I’ll take him from you.’
‘If it doesn’t work, I do have some tonic that cures spider bites,’ said Lexy cheerfully. ‘So you don’t need to worry.’
This was a lie. But it worked on Maximilian. Well, almost. Sort of. He still needed to summon all the bravery he had in order to drop from the light fixture and land on the ground next to the spiders. He tried to think himself back into his experience – which had been real, he was sure of it, and not a dream – in the Underworld. He had been brave there. He just had to take the same approach here. He had to pretend the spiders were as unthreatening as coffee creams.
There they were. Big, hairy, bright orange and black, with those six little beady eyes that . . . Actually, when Maximilian looked into the eyes of the biggest one he almost thought he saw hope. Then his fear nearly overtook him and he had the urge to just stamp on them. To kill, kill, kill. But if he did that, then his friends would probably never speak to him again. And he’d never get his spectacles back. And the way that the spider was looking at him was . . . Well, its little hairy face was full of peace and trust. You couldn’t kill something that looked at you like that, even if it was a deadly spider.
Maximilian breathed as deeply as he could, and put out his hand.
31
Once the third spider had been delivered safely to Raven, Maximilian had almost begun to enjoy the sensation of the soft furry legs on his skin. For the second time today, he felt a bit like he’d just been on a very frightening and strange fairground ride and survived. He wanted to do it again. All of it. He wanted to eat lambs’ kidneys and hold poisonous spiders and reach into people’s minds and . . .
Raven gently put one spider on her right shoulder, and another on her left shoulder. The smallest one asked if he could make a temporary nest in her hair. To help him out, Raven swept up her thick, black curls into a loose bun and the spider crawled inside. When the other two spiders saw what he was doing they decided to join him, and so Raven ended up with three tarantulas in a nest inside her hair. For many girls this would not exactly be a dream come true. But Raven was not like most other girls. She felt honoured that the spiders wanted to live in her hair.
Now Maximilian was able to go and help Wolf. Lexy passed him two different tonics and a dark yellow balm that smelled of lemon and vanilla. Maximilian followed her instructions to first rub the balm gently into Wolf’s temples and then help him to drink the liquids as he started to come round. After five minutes of this, Wolf was able to sit up. Effie then passed the Sword of Orphennyus to Maximilian, so that he could give it to Wolf at the right moment.
‘When Levar comes . . .’ she started to say.
But Leonard Levar had no intention of going back into the cave until every living creature in it was dead. He hadn’t decided quite what he’d do then. Probably call the authorities and express regret that these hooligans who had broken into his storeroom had not been able to get out – and what a shame about the spiders. Although would the police see it as something of a coincidence that both the boys and the spiders had decided to explore this empty storeroom at exactly the same time?
If only Levar still possessed the M-currency he’d had just a week before, he could have made the police believe anything. But of course he’d used it all up in his attack on Griffin Truelove. Never mind. At least now that he had this unexpected boon, these spectacles, he could increase his power a little.
Effie was the first one to see Leonard Levar leaving the shop. He turned the dark corner and headed straight down the hill towards the children. He had some kind of walking stick in his hand. Had he seen them? No. He looked quite distracted. Effie put her finger
to her lips and got Raven and Lexy to duck into the shadows. Raven could not yet cast an invisibility spell, even with her new wonde, but she found she could now enhance the power of the shadows.
The children tried to breathe as quietly as they could as Levar walked towards them. Without seeing them, he turned left down the cobbled alleyway towards the Funtime Arcade. He was wearing a long grey overcoat, and Effie could just see the red case of the Spectacles of Knowledge poking out of his pocket. Her grandfather’s spectacles! Levar was not going to get away with this. Once he was out of earshot, she told Raven and Lexy to stay and help the boys get out. And then Effie went after him.
The Funtime Arcade, to a normal person, was a tatty old establishment on the verge of dereliction with a cheap bar and a few antique fruit machines and pool tables. It was dingy and unappealing. But to Effie, newly epiphanised, the place looked rather different. The words FUNTIME ARCADE were now written in a bright pink neon scrawl across the faded grey stone of the old building. Underneath the scrawl was a blinking neon yellow arrow, and the words ‘Mainlanders and travellers please go through the back door’. But there was no back door. Or was there? Suddenly, running alongside the arcade was a thin stone passageway that Effie had never seen before. She hurried down it, finding no trace of Levar. Around to the right and there, indeed, was a back door. It was dark wood with a big brass knocker.
Effie knocked, and waited. She was just about to knock again when the door opened and a huge man – almost a giant – peered down at her. He scanned her with a plastic box like the one Octavia Bottle had used. Satisfied that Effie had enough M-currency to enter, the huge man grunted and stepped aside to reveal a dark but cosy-looking bar lit with white candle-lamps of the sort Effie had last seen in Truelove House. Given how quiet it always was around the cobbled streets of the Old Town, Effie was surprised to see how lively it was inside the back half of the Funtime Arcade. But she soon realised that this was because many of its patrons must have come from the Otherworld.
At one table was an old bespectacled man, deep in conversation with a very wise-looking woman. They both had long, glossy white hair. He had a beard in a slightly different shade of white from his hair, and she had a cat that was almost exactly the same colour, curled up around her neck. Both of them wore several rings with different-coloured gemstones, and next to each of them was a polished wooden staff. He wore flowing white robes, and she wore a loose white dress with a red shawl over the top.
Another table had younger people at it, all studying large maps that were laid out in front of them. One of the men was wearing a cape lined with yellow silk; one woman wore an evening gown and had a violin case propped up next to her; the second woman was wearing a turquoise silk jumpsuit and diamond earrings; and the remaining man was dressed like a long-ago explorer, with a safari hat and a large pair of binoculars around his neck.
The air was warm, moist, and heady with scents of both worlds mixed together. Clustered around the bar were Realworld women who smelled of rare colognes from London and Paris and young Otherworld warriors who smelled of sweat, sword-grease and danger. There was a live band playing on a small, dark stage. The music was not like anything Effie had ever heard before. A harp mingled with a piano and a wooden xylophone while a red-haired woman sang deep, haunting lyrics over the top, all about love and loss and long journeys through forests and over mountains.
But where was Levar? If this was a portal, then had he gone through to the Otherworld? If so, how had he done it, and where? There were two doors off the bar area. Which to choose?
‘Are you lost, young traveller?’ said a man with a white beard.
‘Um . . . Which way to the mainland?’ said Effie.
‘Through the arcade,’ said the man, pointing vaguely. ‘But don’t stop and play on any of the machines.’
‘OK. Thanks.’
The man pointed again at the far door. At least, Effie thought sure that was the one he meant. She hesitated.
‘You can follow me if you like,’ he said. ‘I’m off to the mainland, too.’
Effie followed the man to the far side of the bar where there was a wooden door leading into a dark corridor. This led to a long room with games machines on either side. Many of these were being played by boys and girls not much older than Effie, but there were some adults, too. Every person here had very long hair and faded old clothes. Each player was completely absorbed in what he or she was doing. From every machine came a faint metallic tinkle of old-fashioned videogame music. Effie could hear electric harps, flutes, bells, and also the woeful sounds of digital things dying on the screens.
The man shook his head sadly. ‘Some young adventurers from the mainland get lost or take a wrong turn and end up in here, trying to get to the island, which they have heard is full of riches. Of course, mainlanders can’t wander onto the island just like that; they discover that as soon as they get here. And so, when they find the machines, with their perfect depictions of the adventures they should have been having, they become hypnotised. Some of them stand there until their lifeforce runs out, just hitting buttons, thinking they are rescuing a maiden from a dragon but really doing nothing at all. You can’t get their attention once they are hooked.’
Effie followed the man through the long room and out the other side into a dark, whispery area with what seemed to be a boxing ring on one side of it and a number of booths on the other. At the end of the line of booths was a door with a sign saying OTHERWORLD. There was a queue, which Effie and the bearded man now joined. Where was Levar? Effie couldn’t see him in the queue. He must have gone through to the Otherworld already.
‘These are the currency booths,’ said the man to Effie. ‘Use these ones, if you have to, not the ones on the other side. Unless you’re selling a boon, of course. Not that you would sell a boon.’
‘Why not?’
‘People only sell boons when they are very desperate. You must already know that winning a boon is a great honour. No one sells one willingly.’
‘What if someone has stolen a boon?’ Effie asked. ‘Then what would they do with it?’
The man peered at her from beneath very bushy eyebrows.
‘You haven’t stolen . . .?’
‘No,’ Effie said quickly. ‘No. But my friend has had one stolen from him.’
‘Ah. And you are trailing the thief, like a true hero would.’
‘How do you know . . .?’
‘You wear the ring.’
‘Oh.’
‘They’ll offer you money for your ring, and for any other boons or weapons you have. Never take it.’
‘All right. Thank you. My name’s Effie, by the way.’
‘Euphemia Truelove. Yes, I thought it was you. I’m Festus Grimm. At your service. Nicer than I sound, I promise, although I wouldn’t trust anyone you meet here, including me. I knew your grandfather. I was so sorry to hear what happened to him.’
‘Are you from the mainland?’ Effie asked the man.
‘No. I’m like you. A traveller. I was born in the Realworld, but I live between both worlds. By kharakter I am a healer, and I had many adventures myself before I decided to work in the Edgelands.’
‘The Edgelands?’
‘The only places in the Otherworld where there is money. You don’t just get travellers like us here, coming and going. Lots of people are simply stuck here. They can get desperate. I try to help young people who have lost their way get back on their true paths and complete the adventures they set out on.’
The queue for entering the Otherworld moved forwards. Now they were right by the booths. Inside each one was a man or a woman who was calling out exchange rates. You could exchange pounds for krubles, krubles for francs, krubles for roubles and all sorts of other currencies Effie hadn’t even heard of.
‘Krubles for M-tech,’ said one red-faced man. ‘Any old M-tech.’
‘Krubles for any cash,’ said a woman in a blue-curtained booth.
‘Krubles for dragon’s gold,
’ said the red-faced man. As Effie walked past the booth he sniffed the air. ‘Dragon’s gold for M-tech,’ he said, dropping his voice slightly. ‘Dragon’s gold for your boons, young lady.’
‘No, thanks,’ said Effie.
‘Much dragon’s gold for your very rare boon, miss,’ he said, leaning forwards.
‘She said no,’ said Festus.
They moved on a few paces.
‘Thanks,’ said Effie. ‘What’s dragon’s gold?’
‘It’s the only material currency you can swap for M-currency. People who get desperate sell their boons for dragon’s gold, and then convert it to boost their lifeforce. You can only do the conversion to M-currency in here, or in a couple of other currency stations. People sell their boons in the market on the other side, because the prices are better there, but then come back in here to do the conversion. What on earth have you got in there?’ Festus said, looking at her bag. ‘I mean, your ring will be valuable enough, but he wasn’t even looking at that.’
‘Just . . .’ Effie remembered what he’d said about not trusting even him. ‘Nothing, really. He must have made a mistake.’
He smiled. ‘Oh well. Good luck.’ They had reached the front of the queue and it was now his turn to go through the portal.
‘Thank you,’ said Effie. ‘Goodbye.’
‘Farewell,’ he said. And then, after exchanging a few words with the border guard, he was gone.
32
When Effie reached the door to the Otherworld she had to show the mark on her arm, her passport and M-card to the border guard there. While Effie was doing this, a woman scanned her with a machine like the one the giant on the door had used.
‘M-currency is 12,340,’ she said to a man behind her, who wrote down the figures with a quill pen. ‘There is no other currency or money on her. There are several boons here. Would you like a price for them, love?’
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