by Jessica Gunn
“Can’t be worse than last time,” I said. Kian and I had spent the night here, not knowing where else was safe to retreat to, and had woken up in the morning to the entire Guild being flooded with Talon soldiers.
He winced. “I wouldn’t bet on that. Mason knows he’s got us exactly where he wants us.”
“Hidden away?” I asked, then shook my head. “Veynix returned to Fire Circle territory half on the orders of Talon to start this whole Ember witch anti-Neuian program thing, and half because he wanted to see what I’d be like while on that drug. If Mason really was his apprentice, and if even part of the reason Mason’s targeting us is because of some sort of revenge plot to avenge Veynix, he’s waiting for me. He’ll want to try subjecting me to the poison too.”
Kian’s jaw locked tight. “I won’t let happen.”
“Me either.”
“Then maybe we should go back to the Fire Circle tonight,” Kian said. “They need to know how bad things have gotten. If Talon or Mason has more than that one manufacturing facility—”
“Manufacturing? Really, Kian?”
He gave me a sidelong glance. “Why sugarcoat it?”
I sighed. “You’re right.”
“I don’t want to be,” he said. “Point is: the Fire Circle needs to know, so that maybe they can get missions together to check out the other rings around the world. See if they’re hiding more facilities beneath them.”
I rolled onto my side and met his deadly-serious brown gaze with my own. A lock of hair fell into my face. Kian reached up and brushed it away with cool fingers.
“We might just need to go after Landshaft,” I said.
Kian’s fingers fell. “I was really hoping you wouldn’t say that.”
“I—”
He shook his head. “You’re right. Doesn’t mean I wanted to hear it.”
But it wasn’t me who was right about that plan. It was Hydron. Brian. And maybe that was why neither of us wanted to see the merit in this plan, despite all the dangers inherent in going to Landshaft. The aura sickness alone would kill us—obstacle one.
“I doubt Dacher will ever order, let alone allow, a mission like that,” I said.
“Don’t think he’ll have a choice.”
I swallowed hard, dropping my gaze. Dacher would never allow it because it would likely be a suicide mission. I didn’t need to say it. Kian was thinking the same thing, evident by the sad, surrendering crease in his brow.
“I’m tired of fighting,” Kian said.
My eyes widened. “Kian.”
“No, it’s true.” Emotion hung heavy in his eyes, mixing with pain I knew he was feeling, even if he didn’t admit it. “It’s been one thing after another ever since my team ran into that Neuian. Maybe if I hadn’t spent so many months drowning in a Demon’s Blood haze, I would have realized it sooner.”
I pressed my hand against his chest, much firmer than before when I’d been exploring what Talon had done to him. “What are you saying? You’re quitting?”
He gave a light chuckle, one that quickly turned into a coughing fit.
“Easy,” I said.
Kian grimaced but swiftly covered it with a small smile. “I can’t quit while we’re in the middle of things. I don’t think I want to. I’m just tired. Do you ever think all of this gets a bit… ridiculous?”
“Considering three months ago, I only left the house to shop for groceries and fight in an illegal fighting ring, yes.”
His smile turned into a grin. “Well, that, yeah.”
I knew what he was referring to. The magik and grand-scale war. Neither of us had really experienced it firsthand before now. When all the crap with Lady Azar had gone down last year, when Ben’s team had found the Power’s ancient city and Lady Azar had tried to take it down, nearly destroying Cianza Boston in the process, neither Kian nor I had been involved.
We’d heard about it, sure. Felt the quaking beneath the city when the cianza had almost exploded. Both of us had experienced it secondhand, through stories over drinks at Hunter’s Guild and the Fire Circle’s lobby, the exploits of Ben’s team and the veritable titans who’d fought that fight. The same people who should be leading the fight against Talon.
But before we’d become freelancers, Kian and I had been on teams where no one had magik. The most thrilling thing my team had gotten involved in outside of the red alert bulletin last year had been us tangling with Veynix and Talon. For Kian, it had been his team’s run-in with the Neuian and his temporary capture.
Now, after all we’d survived, a war—a real one—seemed to be looming on the horizon. Talon’s anti-Neuian weapons program with Ember witches was just the start, a result of the power vacuum left by Lady Azar. And already, Kian was tired of the fight. Not overall, but this specific one.
I was too.
Neither of us spoke for a few long moments. Eventually, I scooted closer to him on the bed, careful to avoid his wound. Kian returned my gaze with one of his own, his eyelids half-drooping shut in exhaustion.
“If you’re honestly, for real okay, then we can rest here for the night,” I said. “Take this moment to breathe.”
He nodded and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close. “I’m good. Right now, all I want is this.”
We were so close now that his breath tickled my cheeks. Our lips hovered inches from each other’s. I didn’t want to move him too much or disrupt this moment.
So instead of some grand motion, I lifted up just enough to close the distance between us and touch my lips softly to his. I felt him smile against me, a brief expression of shock, before he deepened the kiss. Kian cupped my face with his other hand, holding me close as our tongues began to dance. Slow but hurried, desperate but savoring. As if this might be the first and only time we would ever kiss. The first and only expression of whatever was between us.
A silent acceptance of what was to come.
A prayer we’d survive it.
It wasn’t until long after our kiss ended, after our eyelids closed, arms wrapped around each other, our breaths evening out, that I realized my feelings for Kian might have run deeper than I had thought.
I thought I might be able to grow to love him.
Chapter 19
I awoke the next morning to a phone vibrating on the bedside table. Blearily, I blinked away the lingering fatigue. What time had Kian and I even arrived at Hunter’s Guild last night?
What time was it now?
Another round of buzzing went off. I smacked my palm blindly against the bedside table before finding the phone and answering it without looking at the screen.
“Hello?” I asked, my voice thick with sleep.
“Ava,” said Brian. Brian.
My eyes shot open. “How the hell did you get this number?”
Dacher and the rest of the Fire Circle leadership had made me throw out my old phone and old number with my previous life. Only Will, Kian, and a handful of other Fire Circle Hunters had my new phone number.
He was silent for a long moment before saying dryly, “I work for Hydron, remember? They’re tied to the CIA.”
Kian gave a tired groan, his arm around my middle loosening its hold. We both must have slept solid until now.
“Great,” I said.
A pause went on for a long moment before Brian finally said, “Is this a bad time?”
I glanced over at Kian’s still-sleeping form and lowered my voice. “Why are you calling?”
“People at Headquarters are looking for you and Kian,” Brian said. “There’re even more poisoned magik-user Hunters now. It’s insane. I think Dacher’s finally willing to make a plan or sign up for the one Hydron has.”
I bit my lip to keep from voicing my hope that the latter was true. Going directly to the source of all of this madness at Landshaft was the only course of action. But part of me didn’t want to give Brian the satisfaction of being right.
“Okay,” I said. “We’ll be there in a half hour or so.”
“So yo
u are with him?” Brian asked, his words rushed.
I frowned. “That’s really not any of your business.” Another bout of silence. This time, I ended it, saying, “See you soon.” I hung up the call and tossed the phone back on the bedside table. The sound of the hard plastic case clattering against the wood stirred Kian, who went to bolt up out of bed.
“Wait—” I said, too late.
Kian cursed in pain, his face twisting with a grimace as one hand flew to the wound on his side. “Shit.”
“Sorry,” I said as I pressed a hand against his. “I should have been quieter.”
Kian shook his head. He took a deep breath. “What time is it?”
“Morning,” I said. “Not sure. I woke up to a call.”
He glanced down at me, still nestled close to him. A brief wisp of a smile floated across his lips. But it faltered at my words. “What’s wrong?”
I hated this. Not only that it was Brian who’d called, but that anything had interrupted the already-fleeting reprieve Kian and I had been enjoying inside of this room. If we never left, maybe the rest of it would fall away. No more war. No more demons and their poisons. No more Talon and Landshaft.
A cold shiver crawled down my spine.
Mason is probably still downstairs.
“More infected magik-users,” I finally said, meeting Kian’s dark brown eyes. Scruff had begun growing along his jaw, the beginnings of facial hair he normally kept shaven. “Honestly, it’s not surprising. It’s probably going to get worse.”
Kian nodded, a grim look overtaking his features. “Then let’s get back to Fire Circle Headquarters. I feel a hundred percent better than I did last night.”
My eyebrows arched. “Do you? Or are you just saying that?”
He lifted a hand and pressed it to my cheek. I turned into it, a warm feeling blooming in my chest and drawing me closer to Kian like a magnet. “Thank you for patching me up last night. And… for letting me admit things I wasn’t sure should be voiced.”
I swallowed hard. He meant about not wanting to fight anymore. About being tired. But I couldn’t help but feel another meaning was there, just beneath the surface of his words. “I’m here, always. You know that.”
Kian nodded. “I do. I’m sorry that lately I’ve been a bit… difficult.”
I chuckled softly. “I have too. There’s been plenty enough going on. Don’t apologize for it when we’re all guilty.”
“Okay.” He dipped his head closer and kissed me once, quick. “No more apologies then.”
We showered and hurried back to Fire Circle Headquarters. I smiled the entire time.
Especially because Mason was gone from Hunter’s Guild.
My smile faltered. That meant he was on to other dark deeds.
Kian and I walked slowly through the first floor of Headquarters. Despite appearing much better this morning than he had last night, the second our feet touched ground inside Headquarters, Kian’s body slumped.
I rushed to put a shoulder under his, holding him up as his body shook. “Kian?”
“It’s nothing,” he said weakly. As soon as I had his arm around my shoulder, Kian leaned almost his entire weight against me.
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
His entire demeanor and even temperature had changed in a matter of minutes.
I carried on, half-dragging Kian down the hall, past the freelancer job board, and closer to the front lobby, where hopefully Lissandra would be sitting as she always was. Kian’s warm forehead brushed against the side of my face.
“You’re burning up,” I said to him, though I wasn’t sure he was conscious anymore. Fever meant infection. Going to Hunter’s Guild last night instead of Fire Circle Headquarters had been moronic. Why hadn’t we just come here?
Because then you’d have to admit to being at Crimson.
Which was true. I didn’t want to admit that, but given what Kian and I had discovered while we’d been there, we wouldn’t have a choice now. We hadn’t had a choice last night.
No. The real answer was a much less stupid reason.
I hadn’t used teleportante to bring us to Headquarters because my instincts still revolted anytime I put anything nearing one hundred percent trust in the Hunter Circles to protect their Hunters. Especially the non-magikal ones. And even though I had magik now, even though I knew what the Fire Circle had been dealing with that was tying up their resources, I would probably never trust them completely ever again. Not after Veynix had killed my team, and after the Fire Circle had allowed the rumors to spread of my supposed deal with him to survive. Not after they were going to let Will possibly die in Veynix’s care while they took forever to amass fighters for his rescue.
“Lissandra!” I called as soon as we were close. The hallway had been more or less empty, but the lobby and the area near the main staircases were filled with Hunters. Fire Circle knives were strapped to their waistbands in holsters, and Hydron agents stood nearby in navy blue jackets with yellow lettering.
I turned, propping Kian against a wall, and held him up by his shoulders. “Kian? Are you still with me?”
Lissandra poked her head around the corner. “What is…? Oh!” She stood, disappearing for a moment, then reappearing again as she rushed around the corner into the stairwell area. “What happened?”
“I need a healer for him right away,” I said. “I can even bring him up there.”
She nodded, backing away toward her computer. “Why didn’t you?”
I gestured toward the craziness around us, the same chaos that’d been plaguing Headquarters since the first wave of Hunters had been poisoned with this new Ember witch toxin. Some Hunters sat in chairs with their teammates nearby, cradling their heads in their hands. Others paced, looking up at the ceiling at the end of every turn.
“I wasn’t sure there’d be a free healer,” I told Lissandra. “And he was doing okay last night.”
Her eyes narrowed for a brief moment, but she didn’t voice the question in them. “Hang on.”
She disappeared. While she was gone, I eased Kian to the ground. His brow was slick with sweat and his body still shook as though he were cold or… In withdrawal? I supposed this was sort of what he’d looked like that night at Will’s and my old apartment in New York City after he’d accidentally ingested a ton of Demon’s Blood.
I shook his shoulder. “Are you using again?”
It was no use. His head was drooped, eyes shut. Kian was out.
My chest tightened, frustration and desperation coiling between my ribs. I had no way to know if it were true, if Kian was really using Demon’s Blood again. Maybe this was a reaction to being injured and not seeking actual medical attention right away. Then the blame would truly be on me, and I’d live with that because it’d been mostly my choice not to leave Hunter’s Guild in case Mason stopped or followed us. It’d been my instincts that led us away from the Fire Circle’s help.
Footsteps echoed close. I looked up to find Bria rushing down the hall. She was wearing red scrubs and although she had her hair tied back into a messy bun, it was loose. Dark circles hung under her eyes and a worried crease ran across her forehead.
“What happened?” she asked as she knelt next to Kian.
“An attack,” I said and pointed to his side. “Stab wound, plus a fever and—”
She lifted his shirt and gasped when she saw the stitches. The area around his wound was inflamed and angry, swollen. Infection. “When did this happen?”
“Last night,” I said. “Late. It’s a long story, but we went to Hunter’s Guild instead of Headquarters because we were afraid of bringing along an entourage.”
Bria’s gaze turned to me, hard and narrowed. “That decision might cost him his life. We need to get him up to the Infirmary. Even if I heal him, he might need extra care. And I’m almost tapped out from all the Hunters coming here from area hospitals.”
I gulped, my breath coming short. This is my fault.
Bria touched a hand to me and used te
leportante to bring us up two floors to the Infirmary inside Fire Circle Headquarters, right into an empty exam room. Bria paused only long enough to yell out for assistance down the hall before returning to Kian’s side.
“Help me with his shirt,” she said as she put on latex gloves.
I did, and between the two of us, we removed it without disturbing his wound too much.
“You did this?” Bria asked as she ran gloved fingers over the stitches. She was probably trying to get an image in her head with her magik of how badly Kian had been injured.
I nodded in small motions, quick and guilty. “Kian walked me through it. He’s done it to himself so many times before. I thought—”
Kian’s body began convulsing on the table. His face paled as white as a ghost.
“He’s seizing,” Bria said and reached an arm over him. “Help me.” She pinned Kian’s shoulders to the table while I grabbed his legs. “What else? Was there poison involved?”
I shook my head. “No. We got into a fight, that’s all. One we nearly lost.”
“Obviously,” she said, curt.
I wasn’t sure how much of her anger was directed actually at me versus being unable to help Kian quick enough. But his convulsing had lessened for a moment.
“There you go,” she said to him. “Now let’s get a better picture.”
Even when Bria closed her eyes and started to work her magik, I still held Kian’s legs. As if that would be enough to ground him in this reality and not let him slip away. As if it’d be enough to anchor me so that I wouldn’t follow him into some kind of darkness. Maybe every bit of last night had been a bad decision, but I needed Kian. He’d become not only a friend, but much more.
And it’s your fault he’s like this now.
Even with magik, I couldn’t help those I cared for.
“Shit,” Bria said as she suddenly pulled back from Kian. “You stupid son of a bitch.” She whipped around to a set of cabinets and withdrew a vial from one of them filled with a familiar liquid. “I can’t believe it.”
