“Kitten, I’m so sorry,” Ashni said, knowing how inadequate the words were. She could never make up for what she did and she understood that now. Damn it. How could I mess things up this much?
Nakia only shook her head. Her face was red and puffy. She probably wouldn’t be able to say anything for a little while. Ashni checked the breakfast tray and located a teapot. She had to motion for a servant to pour the tea, as her hands were full, but she managed to grab the cup.
“Have some tea, kitten. It’ll help soothe your throat.” Ashni placed the cup to Nakia’s lips.
Nakia took a small sip of the hot liquid. Ashni made sure to keep a good grip on the cup, not wanting any of it to accidentally slip out on either of them. Nakia took a few more sips and then nodded to indicate she had enough. Her face settled into a slightly more relaxed state, but a frown remained.
“I truly am sorry. I had no desire to violate you or treat you as if you were less than what you are,” Ashni said.
“Why did you do this to me?” Nakia asked, her voice low and hitching.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen. I know it doesn't matter, but I didn’t want things to go like this.”
“So…did you… do that because you were drunk, too?”
Ashni sighed. She feared this conversation wouldn’t go the way she liked. But, she owed it to Nakia. She had done major damage and she needed to set things straight as best she could. She doubted things would ever be the same after this.
“While I have been known to do a lot of stupid things while drunk, this was more a lapse in judgment. I let my desire convince me that it was all right to sleep with you because you didn’t object.”
Nakia licked her bottom lip and Ashni had to suppress a shudder. For a moment, she dared to wonder what that lip tasted like. Shaking the thought off since she would probably never know the taste of that lip or soft skin again, she focused on Nakia.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Ashni said, stroking Nakia’s cheek. She was pleased that Nakia didn’t pull away.
“But, you did.”
For some reason, this made Ashni feel a little better. I’m sick. Knowing she meant enough to Nakia that she could hurt her had to mean something. Of course, she might have ruined that out of her usual selfishness. No, no, no. I am favored by the gods and the Chosen One. I can fix this.
“I know I did. I didn’t mean to, kitten.”
For a long moment, there was silence. Ashni occupied the time enjoying Nakia’s soft skin. Feeling Nakia under her fingertips, only made her want to feel more and she had ruined that. Damn my decisions.
Nakia looked at her and Ashni almost couldn’t breathe. Nakia took her hand, the one on her cheek. Ashni wasn’t sure what to think of how it made her feel. The feeling was different, new, not unpleasant, though unsettling and overwhelming in its subtlety.
“Did I…did I…” Nakia took a deep breath and let it out through her nose. “Did I like it?”
The question made Ashni’s heart stop for a second. This was curiosity, not repulsion. Maybe she hadn’t completely ruined everything. She had to swallow before she trusted her voice to sound normal.
“Well, as I said, you didn’t object.”
“But…did I…” Nakia’s voice hitched and seemed to be stuck in her throat.
“I can’t tell you if you liked it or not. I can tell you that it seemed that way to me. You made so many cute noises and you put your leg on my shoulder…” Ashni felt her mouth water as she remembered and she had to take a second to get herself under control. Now wasn’t the time to think of sex, even if they were discussing it.
Nakia blinked. “I…what?”
Ashni shook her head. Nakia was probably an innocent maiden with little idea of what took place during sex, especially sex between two women. I’d enjoy nothing more than teaching her everything there is to know. “It’s not important. It seemed like you enjoyed yourself if the noises you made meant anything. You seemed to like it.”
Nakia looked away and Ashni was bewildered. Nakia had once been predictable, entertaining but predictable. Now, Ashni couldn’t figure her out. It was intriguing.
“I’ve had dreams,” Nakia whispered.
“Dreams?”
“That night…it haunts me as I sleep.” Nakia turned back to her. “I don’t know what to think of the dreams. I mean I don’t know what’s real. I don’t know how to take it. Women don’t do those sorts of things. Ladies don’t do those sorts of things.” Tears welled up in her eyes again as she shook her head. Ashni couldn’t begin to imagine how lost Nakia must feel.
“Shh. Shh. Shh.” Ashni cupped Nakia’s cheek and gently caressed it, smoothing out worry lines etched into Nakia’s forehead. She brushed Nakia’s hair out of her face. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about that. Here, ladies do it all the time. You’ve even seen it up close. Adira and her spouse, Saniyah. In the Roshan Empire, they’re legally married. There are many others like them.”
Nakia shook her head again and buried her face in Ashni’s shoulder. “No, no, no.”
“Yes. It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. If you did enjoy it, you didn’t do anything wrong. Pleasure is pleasure. I know that idea is present in your culture, right?” Ashni knew enough about the West to know men did plenty of things that was considered inappropriate for women, but in Roshan culture it was fine for either gender.
“This is…this is beyond…” Nakia shook her head, as if that would make the right words come out.
Ashni gently moved Nakia’s face so they were looking at each other. “No. Listen to me. You haven’t done anything wrong. If you were a man and you had lain with me, you wouldn’t be beating yourself up like this.”
“But, I am not a man. I can’t…I can’t…” Nakia let out a long breath and looked down. Her body shook and Ashni held her tight again.
“Listen to me. You’re fine. No, you are not a man, but you haven’t done anything wrong. Why should a man be allowed to do these things and not you? Are you less than a man?” Ashni asked. Gender inequality was something she could not wrap her mind around. Not just with the West, but also in some of the conquered territory. What made a man greater than a woman? Greatness was measured with actions, abilities, achievements. Someone had to do something to be great, not just be born in a state of grace.
“No, but everyone has their place in society to make sure things go well.”
Ashni shook her head. “And your sex determines your role? If that’s the case, would Adira be a successful general? Would I have survived the battlefield? Would Layla be my most trusted guard? Everyone has their place, but you make it for yourself. You don’t let someone tell you where you belong, especially based on something like what parts are between your legs.”
Nakia stared at her with wide, red eyes. The wheels were obviously turning in her head. Did Nakia notice how well she fit in around the Roshan? Did she realize how well she could do with the Roshan, with Ashni?
“Do you like me?” Nakia asked. Her voice was lower than before, as if she feared the response.
“You are precious to me.”
“Because of the gold?”
“Because of who you are.” Ashni caressed Nakia’s cheek with her thumb. “You have no idea, do you?” Ashni smiled just a little as she realized that. “All that fire and bite and you have no idea.”
Nakia’s brow furrowed as her eyebrows bent in and she eyed Ashni as if she had turned into a two-headed dragon right before her eyes. “No idea?”
“Of how amazing you are. You think it’s because of the princess status and maybe that gives you your claws, but that’s not all. You burn bright, so bright I’m sure even the Sun watches you. You are second to no one, not because they’re male or royalty or anything. You’re second to no one because you’re you.”
Before Ashni could muster any more words, Nakia sat up. There was that delicious taste of honey again. Nakia pressed her lips to Ashni’s mouth. Nakia was kissing her.
Ashni, not being a fool despite past actions, kissed back.
Chapter Fourteen
NAKIA WASN’T SURE WHAT she was thinking when she kissed the Queen, but when her lips touched the Queen’s she no longer cared. For the first time in days, her body and mind felt like they could settle, calm down, and just be. Feeling the Queen kiss her back made her mind and body settle even more. It was like the world tilted back to its proper place. Eventually, she pulled away enough to look at the Queen.
“Was that…was that all right?” Nakia sounded shy even to her own ears and her nerves returned. After all the trauma she had been through, she wasn’t sure why she kissed the Queen, but now she wanted to do it again and again. As the Queen said, men were allowed their pleasure, why not her? But, she needed to be sure it was all right. She couldn’t go around stealing kisses because it felt good, even though she knew there were men who did such a thing.
The Queen smiled. “If you’re asking was it all right for you to kiss me, you can do that whenever you like. If you’re asking if the kiss itself was all right, it was sweet and you know how I am with sweet things.” The smile transformed into a wide grin.
Nakia chuckled, but it sounded more like a sob. She beamed, which seemed to assure the Queen. The Queen stroked her cheek with her thumb. It felt pleasant. The caressing was relaxing and she realized the Queen had the tactile power to calm her. In fact, she’d been using that power since she came in and Nakia was suddenly grateful for it.
“May I?”
Nakia’s heart jumped. She doubted she’d be brave enough to initiate a kiss again unless she was overwhelmed again. Her throat was dry from the thought of the Queen doing it. She couldn’t even muster a nod to give the Queen permission. Her stomach was unsettled despite the Queen’s soothing touch.
“Do you want me to leave?” the Queen asked after long moments of silence.
“No,” Nakia squeaked. Her face burned with embarrassment and she put her hand over her mouth and took a breath. “No, don’t leave.”
The Queen smiled. It wasn’t exactly cruel, but it was teasing. Her eyes danced as if she knew some wonderful secret. “Then what about kissing you? May I kiss you?”
Nakia wanted nothing more than that, right now. This time, she could, at least, nod. The Queen didn’t disappoint. The Queen caressed her cheek again and then slowly leaned down, as if giving her time to change her mind. The Queen’s lips touched hers and sunshine flowed through her. Nakia whimpered when it seemed like the Queen was pulling away, but then the Queen’s mouth was back on hers and everything was right in the world.
Nakia wasn’t sure how much time passed, but she didn’t care. The only things that mattered were the soft kisses and the Queen caressing her cheek. She wasn’t even sure if she could compare the feeling to anything. This must be what happiness feels like. It was the only thing that made sense.
Nakia adjusted her body a bit and felt more of the Queen against her. A sigh escaped her. She felt like she should be doing something with her hands, but she didn’t know what. Another squeak escaped her and she pulled back as she felt the Queen’s tongue race across her lips.
“Oops. Sorry.” The Queen apologized again.
How often does the Queen apologize to others? Nakia very much doubted it was this much. “What was that?”
The Queen snickered and wiggled her eyebrows. “Oh. Well, fair maiden, I wanted a different sort of kiss.”
Nakia narrowed her gaze. “Don’t mock me, barbarian. Where I’m from a maiden’s innocence is of the utmost importance.”
“I truly can’t imagine why.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
The Queen laughed. “No, I’m not. I can’t imagine why and don’t care to know. After all, this is nice, right?”
Nakia had to swallow before she could answer. “It is.” But, still, her innocence was important. Whoever she married needed to believe she was pure. “My husband has to know any children I bear him are his.” Why did I say that?
The Queen groaned. “Like I said, I didn’t care to know, but here I am knowing. Do you really want to have this conversation right now?”
“How is this not important to you?”
“Well, for one, you can’t get me pregnant and I can’t get you pregnant unless the gods really are in a playful mood. This is about pleasure. If you want to talk about families and legacy, we can do that later. Let’s focus on making you feel good, okay?”
Nakia swallowed hard. She should object, should remind the Queen about why this was a bad idea, but she couldn’t bring herself to it. She wanted to experience this pleasure. Besides, like the Queen said, she couldn’t get pregnant from it.
“I want to feel good.” Nakia’s voice shook as her heart beat quickly in anticipation. She wanted to know what the Queen would do to her, wanted to know what this thing was that haunted her dreams.
“Then, trust me?” The Queen looked at her with her big eyes that made it impossible to say no.
Nakia nodded and the Queen kissed her again, caressing her cheek, to help keep her calm. It was as gentle as the others, but then came the Queen’s tongue again. It ran lightly against her lips and didn’t feel bad at all. Opening her mouth, she thought she might try it, but got a pleasant surprise. The Queen’s tongue slipped into her mouth and, although it should have been disgusting, it was better than the other kisses. The Queen’s tongue slid against hers and she moaned.
Before Nakia realized it, her confused hands found their way around the Queen’s neck and her fingers played with the hair at the nape of the Queen’s neck. The Queen mewed and the sound sent tingles down Nakia’s spine. She pulled the Queen closer, wanting more of her, wanting to take more of her in, and experience more of this new type of kissing. Unfortunately, she also needed to breathe. She pulled back for air, but the Queen didn’t seem to need to breathe.
The Queen’s lips fell to Nakia’s cheek and neck, placing wet kisses and sending wonderful shivers through Nakia’s body. The hand she didn’t have pressed against Nakia’s face fell to her hip. She caressed Nakia’s hip with the same care she stroked Nakia’s face. Nakia’s body hummed, demanding more, but she wasn’t sure more of what exactly.
Nakia clutched the Queen a little tighter and whimpered. “Ashni…”
The Queen tensed for a moment and pulled away to look at her. Did I do something wrong? If she had, she would do a million penances and sacrifice to every god if it meant the Queen could go back to kissing her.
“My name sounds so good on your lips,” the Queen said before kissing her again.
Nakia moaned again as the Queen’s lips and tongue contacted hers. It was amazing. Nakia never wanted it to end.
As the kiss continued, Nakia was aware the Queen’s hands were wandering. They were both on her hips now, turning her body. She ended up with her legs on either side of the Queen, her tunic pushed to her knees, and her arms still around the Queen’s neck. Now, she felt even closer to the Queen. And, then, damn it, she had to breathe.
The Queen didn’t let breathing stop her, going right back to Nakia’s neck as Nakia took in some air. Now, along with heated kisses, there were also nips. At the first graze of teeth, Nakia whimpered and bucked against the Queen. The Queen moaned and held Nakia a little tighter. She kissed a trail up to Nakia’s ear.
“This time, I’m asking and you’re not in your cups. May I?” the Queen asked.
“May you…?” Nakia barely understood words. There was no way she’d get any hidden meanings.
“I want you, kitten. I want to feel your bare skin under my hands. I want you in my mouth. I want to hear my name dripping from your lips as I taste you again, and again as I bring you pleasure you haven’t even had a chance to dream about,” the Queen whispered.
The Queen’s voice struck Nakia in parts that had never felt so alive. The proposal made her throb in a way she never had before. And the words conjured up enough of a memory to make her buck against the Queen, her body trying to relieve some of
the pressure building.
“Is that a yes?” the Queen asked.
Nakia managed a teasing smirk. “Does a maiden not deserve a bed? A princess at that?”
“My princess deserves all she desires.” The Queen gripped Nakia’s hips and then rose to her feet.
Nakia yelped in surprise and held onto the Queen tighter. Apparently, the Queen was strong enough to pick her up with no problem, not that she weighed much, but still this was a display of raw power. Of course, she didn’t need the display. She knew what the Queen was capable of. This woman who could possibly conquer the whole world wanted her. She felt dizzy.
***
Making it to Nakia’s bed was a little trickier than it should have been, but Ashni had to kiss Nakia the whole trip. Nakia’s mouth was so sweet and Ashni wished her tongue could live in there, tasting and befriending Nakia’s tongue. But, there’d be little time for that as she eased Nakia onto her bed.
Nakia looked up at her and Ashni almost asked if she was sure once more. She didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings this time. She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting Nakia again, of ruining whatever this was between them.
“Well?” Nakia dared to say. The fire was coming back and it burned its way through Ashni, dancing across every nerve in her body.
Ashni purred, deep in her throat. It took all of her self-control not to tear their clothes off and explore every inch of Nakia with her hands and mouth. Settling above Nakia without putting any weight on her, Ashni kissed her with vigor. Nakia’s arms went around her neck again, as if they belonged there and pulled her closer.
Ashni propped herself up on her elbows while making sure her mouth didn’t lose Nakia’s. It was obvious this was Nakia’s first time kissing, but Ashni didn’t care. It was sloppy and delicious and she wanted more and more. She could only imagine the things she’d get to teach Nakia, all the things she would get to show Nakia.
Warrior Class - Sky Cutter Page 22
