“Maybe it won’t be that bad if you get to know Alec.”
“It’s Alex,” Emma said with a little laugh, trying to sound upset.
“I know. You don’t wanna know how it sounds in my head.”
“You’re right, I don’t.”
There was an annoying silence between us and I kept pacing around my desk. I wanted to say something, but the words didn’t want to come. I might as well say something really stupid and blow it. Worse than I already did.
“I really should get back to work. I have this awful boss and he’s so arrogant and annoying… You have no idea,” she said with a laugh and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sure he’s not that bad.”
“You’re right, he’s not,” Emma said with a smile. “It’s even worse than that!” she said before walking out of my office and I smiled.
Chapter 32
Date night
~*~ Emma West ~*~
The truth is I feel like crap.
Because I made it clear to Matt that I still felt everything exactly the same way I did months ago, and that he wasn’t even considering leaving Monica. I didn’t want that, I just wanted him to realize we were perfect for each other. And after he kissed me in his office, I guess I just lost it. You can’t blame me for being addicted to his touch, cause… I am.
And the moment Alex stepped in… I can’t say that was the best synchronization I’ve ever seen. It’s true I was still trying to get over Matt, but I never thought you could get over someone by dating someone else. Because you can’t. I can’t, at least. I know I’d just continue to compare him with Matt and from where I stood, the first time my eyes laid on Alex, I thought he had the same attitude as Matt.
And after we spoke and he invited me out just the way Matt did five years ago, what else could I have said? Of course I said yes, considering I wanted to move on, but at the same time I wanted Matt back somehow. And Alex was there, being as Matt as anyone could. Except for Matt.
And the way Matt stopped kissing me in his office completely blew my mind. I never thought he’d stop and I had to admit the fact that he did made me want him even more. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t care if Monica loved him, that I’d do anything to go back to what we used to be.
But that would be wrong, and that’s not me. After all, I had no idea if I forgave him or if I’m just attracted to him like I felt for years, and now that I can’t have him anymore, I want him more.
We shared amazing moments, we also had a lot in common and my feelings for Matt have increased in time, during the moments we went out and laughed for hours, when he held my hand and we made fun of everyone, our kisses in New York, in the time we went together back in Connecticut and spent Valentine’s Day together, when he told me he loved me…
He has been the first guy ever who told me he loved me and… he was the first I’ve ever loved, too. He was the first in so many ways and right now I was more confused than ever. Maybe coming back to work with him has been a stupid thing to do, but how was I going to get away from him?
I remembered Jensen’s words and that he thought I should fight for him. But what does Jensen Ackles know? I’m just thinking about the fact that he’s dating Danneel Harris and he’s trying so hard to have something with Gabrielle while she’s still dating Shia LaBeouf. He’s not appropriate to give advice about dating.
But what about what I want? I want to go back to being Emmatt again. I want Monica to go find herself someone else, to move to New York and make Ben understand they were meant to be or maybe she could realize Rick was the one for her. Anything. Anyone. It doesn’t matter.
“What are you thinking about so intensely?” Matt asked leaning on my desk and I regretted the decision of coming back to work the next day.
Maybe I should’ve taken a day off like I said. Just to clear my mind. But what’s left to clear? I know what I want, but that’s something I can’t have, no matter what I could do about it. He’s pretty convinced he wants to be with Monica, considering he proposed to her.
“Stuff…” I started, avoiding his eyes as I took a file from my desk and started arranging papers and clearing the things on my desk.
“Wanna talk about it?” he insisted as he bent over the wood desk and his face was now so close to mine that I almost forgot how to breathe while my heart started racing in my chest.
“Nope. It’s cool,” I replied with a smile. “Going somewhere?”
“Yes, actually I’m leaving sooner cause I promised Monica we’ll go see this movie and… yeah.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“I can give you a lift if you want to,” he said casually.
“Nope, I still have to finish these here… Thanks though.”
“Hey, Emma!” Alex said popping out of nowhere.
This is awesome! I haven’t seen him the whole day, not because I avoided him, although I kind of did, and then he has to come here exactly when Matt was here too.
I gave him a small smile and I could swear I noticed Matt rolling his eyes. Alex’s smile was warm and he looked so good rocking a grey suit and he was standing in front of Matt with his hands in his pockets as if he was expecting Matt to say something first. Yes, definitely so much like Matt. But since I knew Matthew better than that, I knew he won’t say anything because he hasn’t liked Alex from the very first moment and he won’t start liking him now.
“So… Yeah, I’ll go now,” Matt said as he took a step back. “Have a good night, Ems,” he said and almost emphasized my name while glaring at Alex.
“You too,” I said trying not to laugh.
I know I was confused when Matt arrived, but seeing him act the way he does around Alex it’s just hilarious. I could dare to think he still cares, because he says he does, but he doesn’t do anything about it, so why all the jealousy? I don’t think I’ll ever understand Matt Nicholls.
“So… Emma… I was wondering if you’re still up for tomorrow night?” Alex asked with his hands still in his pockets while balancing back and forth.
“Sure,” I replied with a smile.
I wanted to say something else, but I had no idea what I could say. I’ve always been bad at small talk and basically I knew nothing about Alex. That reminded me of a guy who gave me a ride back to my house when I was like fourteen or fifteen, which had been really nice, and I remember hating myself for not knowing how to talk to guys. You’d think having Matt around for so many years adjusted my comfort around men, but that’s not true. I’m only comfortable around Matt.
“Do you still have work to do?” Alex asked out of a sudden.
“Um… Not really, I have to finish filing these papers and sign some other things and I’m done.”
“Can I give you a lift? In like a… half an hour?” he asked with a grin and I stared at him for a few moments.
“Oh. Sure, yes, it would be really nice,” I said quickly and he gave me a smile and nodded.
“Okay. See ya,” he said.
I sighed and supported my head in my hands. This was going to be really difficult.
*
“Okay, so I’ve sort of met someone,” I said as I entered Rick’s room the next day.
He was sitting on his bed and looking at some football magazines or creating new schemes for the game. He raised his head and looked at me, rather surprised seeing me all dressed up.
“Who?”
“I met him at the office the other day… And he asked me out, and he’ll come pick me up in about… 10 minutes so could you please be nice?” I asked with a grin and Rick raised an eyebrow.
“You’re going on a date in jeans?” he asked as he checked me out. “And that shirt? Really? You don’t like him at all, right?”
“What’s wrong with my outfit? It’s… normal,” I said as I looked into his mirror. “I don’t look slutty nor…”
“Willing to date him, yeah,” he said and I sighed. “Did Nicholls like him?”
I hated he
barely spoke about Matt and when he did he always used his last name with a disgusted expression on his face.
“No… He thinks he’s arrogant. He doesn’t even know him!” I complained and I noticed my brother’s jaw suddenly clenching. “What?”
“He’s just… Why won’t you just let me beat the crap out of him, Emma? He fucking deserves it!”
“I don’t… We shouldn’t talk about that, I wanted to tell you to be nice to Alec. Alex.”
“Alec or Alex? Do you even know his name?” Rick jokes and I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, but Matt always…” I stopped when I noticed Rick’s serious expression and ran my hand through my hair. “Just be nice, okay?”
“Emma. Stop it, okay? Nicholls is dating Monica now. So stop it. You shouldn’t even see the guy!”
Just before I thought about saying anything, I was literally saved by the bell. I gave Rick a sweet smile and headed towards the door, Rick obviously following me like the protective brother he was.
“Hi, man, I’m Rick!” he said so politely before I had to chance to say something.
“Hi, Rick, I’m Alex,” he said with an elegant smile.
Man, he was indeed hot. And that wasn’t all, he had that attitude Matt used to have, that cockiness I’ve always been attracted to when Matt had that smirk on his face and…
Stop thinking about Matt!, my mind practically yelled at me as I noticed Alex was wearing a black suit and he looked oh-so-good.
“Hey, Emma,” Alex saluted me with a cute smile as he turned to me.
“Hey. Um… Rick’s my brother,” I said awkwardly as Alex looked at me and Rick.
“Oh. Yeah, sure. Nice to meet you, man,” he said and he suddenly seemed to relax. “So you’re ready?”
“Yes,” I said as I looked at Rick who was standing looking more like my dad.
“I want you to get her back by 11,” Rick started and my eyes widened. “And take care of her, okay? Otherwise I…”
“Richard!” I whispered and Alex started laughing.
“Obviously, Rick, don’t worry,” he said as he shook his hand. “Your brother is nice. I also have a sister and, trust me I’d literally kill the guy who’d dare to hurt her. So I understand him,” he said as we reached to his car and he opened the door for me.
I nodded awkwardly and we didn’t talk much on the way to the restaurant and suddenly I felt I was dressed to casual, considering he was wearing a suit and he looked so elegant and comfortable at the same time. Matt uses to wear suits all the time too.
Starting again, Emma?
Sorry.
“I really love this restaurant,” he told me as he offered me his arm when we got out of the car. “It’s Italian, I hope you don’t mind?”
“Oh, no. It’s awesome.”
I felt rather uncomfortable than relaxed even though he started talking after the waiter came to get us the menus and he was pleasant and cute, but somehow my mind wondered back when I was dating Matt and the way he held my hand while laughing about practically everything and…
“You’re thinking about him, right?”
“Excuse me?”
“Mr. Arrogant,” Alex said with a serious expression.
Really? Could they be more alike?
“He’s not arrogant,” I said slightly bothered. Only I could say that Matt was an arrogant jerk. Because I knew that he wasn’t. It was part of his charm.
“But you’re thinking about him,” Alex insisted and I rolled my eyes.
“No, I’m not.”
“Look, if you don’t…” he paused and looked around the room and didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “It’s okay if you like him and… I just… need to know.”
“I don’t, okay? And I think it’s rather uncomfortable to ask me that about my boss.”
“The boss you were kissing in his office a few days ago?”
Matt was right. I didn’t know him and it was such a big mistake to date someone just to make Matt jealous. Because that’s what I was doing, right? That’s why I accepted, because Alex resembled Matt and it was like I got a second chance with someone like him. Just like Adele says in her song.
“I’m sorry. This is wrong!” Alex said and I nodded. “I’m so sorry, Emma. We started so wrong.”
“Yes, I’m sorry I know I’m…”
“Beautiful? Yes, that’s true,” he said and I felt my cheeks burning. “You know you’re so cute when you blush?” he said and I hated myself for blushing, and he started laughing.
The rest of the night went by pretty uneventful, we talked about a lot of different things and I noticed I had a lot in common with him, despite the fact that at some point he mentioned he’s addicted to soccer, and then he said Barcelona and I pictured Matt’s reaction if he ever found out that the guy I’m seeing likes Barcelona. I didn’t like Barcelona myself, since Rick and Matt convinced me along the years that Real Madrid is the best team.
We talked about his childhood, and I loved the way he talked about his sister and how protective he was about her and somehow it reminded me of Rick who stood beside me the last few months and tried to make everything better for me.
I found out he was from Florida and that he had studied there, and recently been offered the job at our company and since he recently lost his parents, he decided it would be good to have a new start.
Even though I was unsure about Alex at the beginning, now it felt like an amazing opportunity to move on. He was funny, really, really attractive and super smart and we also had things in common. And he wasn’t a fictional character, which made him even greater.
After spending almost three hours on dinner, we went to take a walk on the beach and we ate vanilla flavored ice cream and laughed about everything and nothing in particular and he held my hand in his and it felt good. It felt really good.
*
I left my pen down and remembered the time Matt and I used to get along so well, the way we laughed all the time and how he kissed me. I ran my hand through my hair and took a look at Matt, who was still concentrated at the paperwork in front of him, looking so hot and focused. Why would someone be allowed to be so good looking and such a jerk at the same time?
“Okay, what’s up?” he asked lifting up his head and looking right into my eyes.
“Nothing,” I said taking my pen back and trying to act like I’m focused too.
“You’re thinking about Alex?”
“No!” I replied fiercely. Is he stupid?
“So then you’re thinking, obviously, about me,” he joked and I opened my mouth to say something and I felt my cheeks burning. God, body language sucks! “Are you?”
“Um… No, I-“
“Emma…”
“I’m sorry, I was just…” I sighed and tried to get over this awkward tension created between us just in a few seconds.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and looked at it and noticed a text from Alex.
Lunch in 5?
I sighed and replied ‘yes’ and looked at Matt again, who was now looking at me.
“Emma, I’m sorry…” he started and I nodded.
“I know,” I assured him and he tried to smile.
“The fact is that… I knew you would’ve never forgiven me. And to be honest, I would never forgive myself either. So…”
“I would’ve. I would,” I whispered and he ran his hand through his black hair.
“Monica needed me back then, you know? It was really hard for her and I…”
“I needed you too,” I continued and he shook his head. “I need you. And you’re stupid, okay?”
“Look, Ems… I hate Mr. Arrogant, but somehow I’m sure he’s a better man than I am. Because… I love you, but yet again I’m dating Monica and I wouldn’t… I couldn’t even tell Monica I love her back, you know? And what did I do? I stupidly asked her to marry me without even thinking. I’m not good for you. Even if this fucking kills me. I can’t hurt you any
more, Emma, I’m sorry. I do think it’s best for me to be with Monica right now.”
“Yes, but I-“
Just when I opened my mouth to continue to humiliate myself and let him know everything I feel about him, we heard a knock on his door and seconds after, the door opened and there was Alex.
“Sorry to bother. I was looking for Emma and it seems I was right,” he said with a smirk and I forced myself to smile after I looked at Matt who seemed rather relieved than annoyed because Alex interrupted us.
“Hi, Alec,” Matt said with a wide smile, like we didn’t even talk about us loving each other just seconds ago.
“I won’t bother,” Alex said with a smirk as his jaw clenched.
“At least I’m funny,” I heard Matt whisper and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
“So, lunch Emma? I waited for you for like 10 minutes, but…”
“Sorry, I have no idea what time is,” Matt said. “Sure you can go, Ems.”
I nodded and grabbed my stuff and Alex took my hand in his and in that moment it felt just so wrong. To be leaving with another guy, and leaving Matt.
“Hey, Matthew, wanna join us to lunch?” Alex said just before we got to the door and my heart stopped as I looked at Matt’s surprised expression.
Oh, Alex was playing dirty! I couldn’t believe he still thought I had something with Matt after I specifically told him I had not. Every single part of me wished Matt would say no. But then again, we’re talking about Matt Nicholls.
“That is such a good idea!” he said with a big smile. “I’d love to.”
Oh, no. This is not happening. I frowned at Matt and he ignored me as he walked out first. Alex was still holding my hand as Matt walked beside me and that was just wrong. I couldn’t even pay attention to what Alex was saying because it felt wrong to be with someone else than Matt.
Perfect Match Page 35
