‘You would tell me if there was anything I could do, wouldn’t you, Sir?’
‘Actually, there may be,’ I nodded, as I opened my eyes. ‘How would you feel if Trey Douglas was to require your services?’
‘I’m not sure I’d have time to fit him in, between you, Mr. Davenport and the old ball and chain, demanding so much of my time, much as I’d love to.’
‘Actually much as I hate to do this to you, I was thinking I wouldn’t need your services on such a regular basis anymore.’
‘You’re cutting back on your appointments?’ he lifted his eyes to look at me in the mirror for confirmation.
‘I’m thinking of stopping my appointments, giving it up and focussing on my day job,’ I shrugged.
‘For Miss Beresford?’
‘No,’ I shot back. ‘It seems no matter how honest I was with her, how well you sang my praises, or how much it hurts me to admit it, she’ll never see me as anything but an escort, James. I think I need to do it for me. She’s just made me realise that there’s more to life than making money this way. I need a change, I need to change.’
‘Please tell me that you’ll ring her and tell her this excellent news?’
‘You’re not mad with me?’ I asked, surprised.
‘Of course not, Sir. I’ll miss our weekly banter, I think of you as a friend, but you have to do what’s right for you and quite frankly I’m amazed you didn’t come to this realisation sooner. Please don’t be concerned on my account. I already told you that Mr. Davenport pays me a ridiculous wage and he’s hardly ever in London to take advantage of my services. I could retire tomorrow and live quite comfortably, I do this because I enjoy it.’
‘You have no idea what a relief that is to hear, James. Though I promise I’ll still use you for special occasions, you won’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll keep in touch.’
‘I’m very pleased to hear it, Sir. Maybe sleep on it and if you still feel the same way in the morning, you could give Mr. Douglas my phone number, after you ring Miss Beresford tonight of course.’
‘I won’t ring her,’ I sighed as I shoved a hand through my hair. ‘She deserves someone better than me and look at what’s happened to her this week. Her career’s taking off, she’ll be too busy to think about having a boyfriend, especially not one with my rather sordid history. She won’t be lacking for money or offers from men, she doesn’t need me complicating her life.’
‘Excuse me for saying so, Sir, but as it seems I’ve unofficially been fired I’m going to speak my mind. You’re an arse sometimes, a stupid bloody arse.’
‘I beg your pardon?’ I looked at him startled.
‘The woman is infatuated with you, I can see it, yet you seem blind to the fact. A woman doesn’t get emotional over a man she doesn’t care about, she doesn’t cherish flowers he sent, she doesn’t go all googly eyed and blush every time he looks at her. You are Logan Steele. You make things happen. Your job is to know everything there is to know about your date, to make her the happiest woman alive for that one night, yet you seem determined to ignore those skills you’ve perfected with the one woman you actually want to make happy for real. Women need to be pursued, wooed and made to feel like they are safe in your charge, that you’ll put their needs first, that you’ll go to the ends of the earth for them. You do it for your clients, yet with Miss Beresford you’re turning the tables, expecting her to chase you. Would Logan Steele let a woman he liked be in control of moving things forward? No. He’d be the one calling the shots, not leaving his number hoping she’d ring him the next day.’
‘Are you quite done?’ I snapped. ‘You seem to have overlooked one key bloody fact, James. I’m not Logan damn Steele. He’s the mask I wear, the superhero suit I don for my job. He doesn’t come into play in my personal life and definitely not with her.’
‘No, I’m not done. You’re the one overlooking the fact that you are Logan Steele. Maybe not in name, but deep down you’re one and the same. I think with her you’ve tried so hard to be different, that sometimes you forget that you’re a dominant man. A dominant man doesn’t sit back waiting to be called. He pursues, relentlessly, until he gets what he wants. Logan Steele wouldn’t quit, he wouldn’t give up on Miss Beresford just because his pride was wounded. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Now pick up your damn personal phone out of the side pocket and ring her. Tell her you made a mistake, that you’re packing it in and you want to take her on a date and do it now. Don’t make me pull over and kick your scrawny bloody arse,’ he bellowed. I looked at him stunned. I’d never heard him be anything but calm, controlled and respectful and he rarely swore. Part of me was furious at the way he’d called me out, but he had a point, even with Lucy, my ex, I was the one in charge. I called the shots. I huffed out a surprised breath. He was right. Logan wasn’t a complete act. I was organised, methodical and dominant too. I needed to set aside my indignation that she hadn’t called and pursue her doggedly, until I got what I wanted. And I wanted Summer damn Beresford like I’d never wanted anything in my life.
‘My arse is not scrawny,’ I retorted, as I burst out laughing. ‘James, you really are one amazing man.’
‘Well Mrs. Smith would whole heartedly agree, Sir,’ he grinned. ‘But I’d better make you aware that I’ve activated the child locks, so until you make that call you’re going nowhere.’
‘I really appreciate the arse kicking, James, on my perfectly formed, muscular and sexy arse. It was needed and it’s done the trick, but I’m going to have to ask you to place some faith in me, to trust that I’ll do it. I don’t want to have quite possibly the most important call of my life while you’re listening in, it’s something that I’d like to do alone. I plan. Logan Steele plans. I need to plan what I’m going to say if I’m not going to fuck this up again.’
‘Very well, but if I find out that you haven’t made that call at some point before the day is over, I shall call her myself to tell her that you’re an idiot and she needs to steer clear. Sir.’
‘And where would you get her number?’ I laughed.
‘You’re not the only one with connections and Ian Smith owes me a rather large favour, which I’ll be calling in tomorrow, so I can check on your phone logs if I have to.’
‘You wouldn’t dare!’ I gasped.’
‘He who dares, wins.’
‘That’s outrageous, James. Besides, “He who dares, wins” is the motto of the SAS, you were a Royal Marine. Yours is “Per mare, per terram.” By sea, by land.’
‘So, you’re really not as stupid as I’d recently been led to believe,’ James grinned. ‘Anyway, mottos aside, just remember that I can see if you’ve made that call. Logan Steele isn’t the only sneaky covert operative with an IT hacking expert on the side. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.’
‘You are one funny man,’ I replied with a shake of my head. I picked up my phone and sent a message to Trey, asking if he was free to meet me this evening for drinks to discuss taking over my entire client bank, before I changed my mind. I opened Eve’s file and typed in a single word. Transfer. A word that I needed to write on every single current and pending client, except for Summer of course. I immediately deleted her file again, I didn’t need it anymore. I’d memorised everything about her. Besides she was no longer a client, she’d never really been a client in my eyes. She was more, so much more. I couldn’t believe that just sending that one text to Trey had me feeling as if some of the weight on my shoulders had been lifted. Even forgetting about the situation with Summer, taking that completely out of the equation, was I really doing this? It was a major change to my life, no more all-nighters, no more sex because I was obliged to, no more faking it and finally having my weekends back. All of that suddenly sounded rather appealing.
But what really made me smile, was best of all I could be me again, the real me.
Shine a Light
Logan
I waved James off, headed in and grabbed myself a glass of water and lime,
planning on drinking it then heading for a shower, to try and figure out a plan of action with Summer, but was halted in my tracks when I felt my work phone vibrate in my pocket. I nearly dropped the glass when I saw who the email message was from. It was her. I quickly put the phone on the granite surface of my kitchen island and pushed it away from me, as my chest started to heave with the increase in my breathing. A week, a whole week and she hadn’t contacted me on my personal phone. Now she was emailing me on my damn work one? Just as I was about to get personal with her? What the hell? I wasn’t good enough to date, but she was prepared to book me to fuck her again? So, she really just saw me as an escort, after everything I’d said or done to try to show her I could be more? I turned around and hurled my glass against the wall in fury. If she thought I’d even consider fucking her for cash again she really had me wrong, or maybe I had her wrong. Maybe in seducing Summer I’d woken another Camilla or Yasmin, a sex addict who just wanted to use me. Fuck that.
I went to cool down in the shower, scrubbing myself so hard I nearly exfoliated the top layer of my skin off as I seethed. I cursed when I cut myself shaving, my hands shaking with the anger flowing through my veins. I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to clear up the fragments of glass off the floor, cutting my finger as well in the process. Damn it. I’d just sorted my life out, I was going to pursue her as a man with no dubious profession hampering him and now this? I circled the island with an eye on my phone again and again, like a restless tiger, trying to decide whether it should go the way of the glass, or if I should actually read what excuse she’d come up with to book me, to fuck me, but not be with me. The more I thought about it, the more thoughts of our last night together kept coming back to me, her blushes of embarrassment, the adoring looks, how she’d said she was falling for me too. I’d believed her, really believed her. What if she was genuine and she was just scared, like Eve had been, like I’d been? Maybe she did want me, but was too ashamed of what her family would think if my past came out. I took a deep breath, snatched the phone off the island and opened her message. I had to know, one way or another.
I had to know.
Logan, don’t worry, I won’t email you again, it’s the last time you’ll hear from me. Consider this a last ditch attempt to contact you to try and understand why you’d do this to me? You seemed so sincere last week, as sincere as I was, was it all some sort of game to you? I just don’t understand why after all that you’d give me a fake number? I’ve always prided myself on being a good judge of character and you’ve blown that to hell if you’re playing with me. If it makes you feel even better, if you’re really that twisted, I only waited ten minutes to ring you after James dropped me home. That’s how hard I’d fallen for you. You’ve no idea how hurt I was to find your number wasn’t valid. I kept trying it again and again, and it’s taken me all week to pluck up the courage to email you to risk being rejected, yet again. Did I really get it so wrong? Part of me just refuses to believe that I did. It tells me that you were being sincere, but for some reason you changed your mind and disconnected your number to avoid dealing with me. See, I’m pathetic! I’m clutching at straws because I can’t stop thinking about you Logan Steele. If there’s a genuine reason, if this has all been some huge misunderstanding then I’m prepared to listen, but it’s going to take a lot of effort on your part to build up my trust again. If I don’t hear from you, then I guess I’ll have to face facts that I was just one in a long line of fallen angels. Summer
‘Fuck, fuck, FUCK,’ I yelled, as I slapped my hand to my forehead. I’d upgraded my bloody personal iPhone by moving network providers and had changed my number at the same time, the day before I turned up at Summer’s premiere. I must have written my old number down out of habit, it was ingrained on my memory after so long, whereas I still hadn’t memorised my new one. I grabbed my new phone to look for the right number, I’d already programmed hers in after she left last Sunday, but of course she didn’t know I had it, that Ian had “sourced” it for me. Did I risk pissing her off even more, calling her on a number I shouldn’t even have? I decided I was skating on thin ice as it was and grabbed my work phone again, hitting reply to her email. So much for me slamming the door in her face, I was like an over eager puppy where Summer was concerned, however much I’d protested I was done with her, she had me by the balls and I knew it. All this time she’d wanted to see me and I’d been wallowing in self-pity, instead of being the dominant guy I was and not taking no for an answer. ‘Idiot,’ I muttered, as I quickly tapped a response.
Summer, you’ve no idea how happy I am to hear from you. You didn’t read me wrong, I’m not playing games, I promise you, on my mother’s life. And I love her dearly, I don’t care how unmanly I sound admitting that to you. I changed private phones, and numbers, the Saturday of your premiere and must have automatically written down my old number by mistake. I’m so sorry. You didn’t get it wrong and you’re not pathetic, I am, for being stubborn and defensive in asking you to give up your career without me being willing to do the same. With a client I’m in the zone, I know how to act and behave because there’s no emotional attachment. With you, well I’m kind of out of practice with wooing a girl that I really like. I’m human and I fucked up, badly, I know it. I do want to meet, you have no idea how much, but I’ll prove it. If you don’t call me back on the number below in the next hour, I’m going to drive over to your parents and hammer on your damn door until I break it down if that’s what it takes to see you again. And you’re not one of many, you’re the only, on a God damn pedestal Summer Beresford. No one even comes close angel. Don’t make me run out of oxygen a second time. Logan
I added my new phone number and pressed send with shaking fingers and a deep exhalation. I tossed that phone aside and picked up my new one, pacing back and forth as I watched it, biting my lip. It was ten minutes before her name came up, the longest ten minutes of my life.
‘Summer,’ I answered with a sigh. ‘Thank God.’
‘My parents can’t afford a new front door, Logan. So, after thinking it over, I figured it was easier to call than to wait and see if you were messing with me again.’
‘I’m not messing with you,’ I replied, as I closed my eyes and luxuriated in her soft sexy tones over the phone. God I’d missed her.
‘How can I be sure?’ she asked, her voice wavering. I grimaced. I’d hurt her, being so damn stubborn last Sunday about my career and then unwittingly giving her the wrong number.
‘Because as soon as we agree a date and you put the phone down, I’m going to screen print a text I sent to another male escort, asking him to meet me to discuss taking on all of my clients. I’m giving it up, Summer.’
‘For me?’ she whispered, an element of hope evident in her voice.
‘For both of us. Until I met you I didn’t know what I was missing. It’s like I’d found a niche that I fitted into being an escort and I’d have happily carried on like that forever.’
‘And now?’
‘I thought you’d changed your mind about me, about getting to know me. It shattered me. It made me realise that I wasn’t happy, it was just an illusion masked by the perks of the money and the gifts I was given. It turns out escorting was just something to tide me over until I met someone who could offer me more.’
‘And you think that could be me?’ she asked, quietly.
‘No,’ I replied and heard her take in a sharp breath. ‘I know it is you. Don’t ask me how, I’ve no idea how you’ve got to me so badly, but you have. Now I have your number, if I’m not allowed to knock down your parents’ door, I’ll ring and text you constantly until you agree to a date, if you block my number I’ll come for you. Trust me, there’s nowhere on earth I won’t find you Summer, wherever the hell you try and hide I’ll drag you out kicking and screaming if I have to. I’m not walking away again.’
‘Logan,’ she sighed, as her voice cracked.
‘It’s not Logan, angel. If I need to earn your trust again I’ll start
right now. I told you before that Logan Steele is my professional name, and this stopped being a business transaction the minute I kissed you and you woke me up from the haze I was living in. I’m Sleeping bloody Beauty, Summer. You woke me up, with a damn kiss.’
‘You’re Sleeping Beauty?’ she giggled. ‘Even you wouldn’t look good in a dress.’ I grinned, she was thawing, I could feel it. ‘So what is your name? You were on the verge of telling me last time weren’t you? Actually wait, you’ll have to lie to me if it’s Anthony, I couldn’t bear to call you Anthony.’
‘No, not Anthony,’ I reassured her. Me having the same name as the dickhead who tried to rape her would suck. ‘My initials are actually the same, LS.’
‘Logan I … I don’t want to do this over the phone. If you’re going to be honest with me I need to look into your eyes, I believe you when I’m looking in your eyes. Can we meet and talk? You can tell me your name in person, but make it soon. I begin filming again in a few weeks and my schedule’s going to get crazy.’
‘How about today?’ I replied, as a big smile spread across my face to have her agreement. I didn’t care I’d been awake all night, sleep could wait. Summer couldn’t. ‘I have plans this evening, but I’m free now.’
‘Clients?’ she gasped.
‘No!’ I shot back, ‘I’m done. I promised last time that I wouldn’t lie to you, Summer. It’s a meeting with my colleague, Trey, to discuss a financial agreement for taking them all off me, you’ll see when I send you the screen print. Call it my retirement fund, it’s important.’ I scrunched up my face, praying she wouldn’t ask when I’d last had a booking, telling her I’d fucked a client only five hours ago might crush her. Regardless of whether I’d come or not, I didn’t think the distinction would matter to her. I wouldn’t lie if she asked, but I wasn’t going to volunteer it.
For the Night - Complete Box Set Page 40
