Every once in a while, Roy would sing this gleeful little tune in a singsong voice: We’ve got his kid, we’ve got his kid. It sent a chill through me. Bella was afraid of him, but not at all of Savannah and I began to get the picture—Savannah had been a trusted friend to Travis and she’d betrayed him. They kept asking me where he was and I finally convinced them they knew a lot more than I did about where he’d spent the past couple of days. At one point, Savannah started to explain the whole situation to me—something about Travis not showing up at a drop-off point—but Roy shut her up with one nasty look. She’d said enough to let me know Travis had been afraid of them, or at least of Roy. Whatever he’d gotten himself into had been against his will.
“I’m hungry,” Bella complained after we’d been driving aimlessly around Beaufort for a couple of hours.
“Me too,” Savannah said to Roy. “Can we stop and get something?”
He blew a long stream of smoke toward the windshield, then took a quick left onto Front Street. “All right,” he said. “We’ll eat and then we’ll call Don and see about the boat.”
A boat? I guessed that had been part of their whispered conversations. I’d try to listen more closely. I needed to know what Bella and I were up against if we stood a chance of getting away from them. A boat didn’t sound like good news to me. I wouldn’t get in one. I hadn’t been in a boat since the night Carolyn died.
Roy pulled into a parking place in front of a restaurant. We were just blocks from the inn and I longed to be back on that porch overlooking the waterfront, Bella safely napping in the room behind me.
Roy handed Savannah a couple of bills. “Get whatever,” he said. “And make it fast.”
“Can we go with her to use the restroom?” I asked, although I didn’t have to go.
“You just went,” he said.
“I have to go again.”
He didn’t even bother to answer me. Instead he pulled out his phone and began scrolling through phone numbers or email. I couldn’t see from where I was sitting.
“I’m hungry,” Bella said again.
“I know, honey,” I said. “Savannah’s getting us food.”
She pouted and leaned against me and I put my arm around her. But then I noticed a woman walking down the street and realized she’d be no more than a few yards away from the car as she passed us. She was walking briskly, a big straw purse over her shoulder. I glanced at Roy. He was engrossed in his phone. Letting go of Bella, I pressed both my hands flat against the window, my face nearly plastered to the pane, hoping to get her attention as I mouthed the word Help!
Suddenly, I felt a hard thwack on the back of my head. I yelped and turned to see Roy holding his gun and I knew he’d hit me with it. He shook his head at me, his expression telling me he considered me more of a nuisance than I was worth, and he wordlessly returned his attention to his phone.
Bella started to cry, startled by what had just happened. So was I. I touched the back of my head and my hair was wet where he’d hit me. “I’m okay, honey,” I said to Bella. “Shh.” I reached into my purse for a tissue and pressed it to the back of my head. It came away smudged with red. The blow had left me dizzy and I could already feel the lump forming beneath my fingers.
We ate fried chicken and French fries. Bella and I only nibbled at ours in spite of Bella’s protests of hunger. Then Roy started driving around again. I chatted with Bella, playing I Spy and singing songs, but I was leaning forward as far as I dared to try to listen in on the conversation.
“It’ll mean another cut,” Roy said to Savannah, and I guessed he was talking about the guy with the boat. “But it’s still the best way.”
“Yeah, but how can we let Travis know if he’s not answering his phone?” Savannah asked.
Roy reached into his pocket and showed her my phone. Travis would answer a call from me. I was sure of that, and apparently Roy was, too.
“The one thing he’ll give up the stash for is his kid,” Roy said.
“But what about…” I saw Savannah give a little nod in my direction.
“Collateral damage,” Roy said in a hushed voice, but I didn’t miss it. I didn’t miss how Savannah turned away from him, either. How her fingers shook as she brushed a strand of that long blond hair behind her ear.
42
Travis
Robin was being so nice. That shouldn’t have surprised me. She’d always been that way, from the first time we’d met as kids. But I didn’t deserve her kindness right now. I was embarrassed by the mess I was in. The mess I’d gotten Bella into. I wished I could tell Robin what a good father I’d been before the fire. I wanted her to know it hadn’t always been like this. Robin seemed to understand without me saying it, though. She kept touching me—my arm, my shoulder, my hand. They were loving touches and she looked at me with understanding in her eyes. I had to remind myself it was the old Travis she was remembering and reacting to. The boy who’d been full of promise and big dreams. Not the screwup.
She looked so different. She’d always dressed well and she’d always been pretty, but now she looked really healthy: shiny hair, bright brown eyes, perfect skin, small diamond studs in her ears. She looked like the type of girl I’d never been able to relate to.
“You look…I don’t know, you look sophisticated,” I said as we sat in her living room, waiting for Erin to somehow stumble across us.
She wrinkled her nose. “Not something I ever cared about being.” She looked down at her hands. “I’m living in a world where I don’t belong, Travis.”
“What do you mean?”
“I came to Beaufort looking for a job while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. My new life with my new heart. But this family—” she motioned in the direction of the house where she’d told me Dale’s family lived “—they made me feel so special and it was great, but they’ve been…grooming me. It took me a while to realize it. They’ve slowly been turning me into someone I’m not. At first I was sort of seduced by it. There was so much money and I could have anything I wanted and I had this handsome guy other women would kill to go out with. I could have this great life. I’d never have to work if I didn’t want to. I could play tennis or golf all day if I liked, even though I hate tennis and golf.” She nearly laughed. “But it all comes with a price.”
“What’s the price?” I asked.
“Living a false life. For me, anyway. I mean, it would be a fine life for some people. Maybe even most people. But it’s not right for me. And then…” She twisted her hands together in her lap.
“And then what?”
“I just found out yesterday that Dale’s been buying off the guy his sister’s in love with, to get him to stay away from her. It reminded me so much of you and me—the way my father kept us apart. Alissa even has a baby now, and the baby…” She smiled and looked toward the window, but I knew it was that baby she was seeing. “The baby woke up a part of me I didn’t even know was there. The part that had a baby. That has a child.” She looked at me again. “I started thinking about her…and about you, and I’ve been… You’re all I could think about lately, Travis. It’s just so weird that you showed up now. It’s like I knew you were on your way back into my life. If you hadn’t shown up, I was going to have to find you. I couldn’t marry Dale when I was thinking about you all the time.”
“But you were thinking about me in the past,” I said. “You were thinking about when we were younger, and money and survival and raising a little girl weren’t a problem. When all we had to think about was—” I hunted for the right words “—loving each other,” I said.
“What else is there to think about?” she asked.
I was about to answer her when my phone rang—the phone Roy had given me. I pulled it from my pocket and set it on the table. “I’m not going to answer it,” I said. “This is the guy who wants the drugs I don’t have and I’m finished with him.” I had nothing to say to Roy, but the name on the caller ID display suddenly jumped out at me. Erin Pat
terson. I grabbed the phone and flipped it open.
“Erin?” I stood up.
“Would you like to see your daughter again?” Roy asked. “Ever?”
He couldn’t have her. Couldn’t possibly. “What are you talking about? How did Erin’s name come up on—”
“Where are you?” he asked. “How quick can you get to Beaufort?”
My mind spun. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good. “I’m in Beaufort,” I said.
“No shit.” He laughed. “Well, that’s perfect. Do you want your daughter?”
“What are you talking about!” I shouted.
“I have her.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Oh, yes, I do. Her and Erin.”
“Shit.” I pressed my hand to my forehead.
Robin moved next to me, her hands on my arm. “What’s going on?”
“So here’s what you do,” Roy said. “Your last and final chance, bro. You bring the stuff midnight tonight to this address.”
I motioned to Robin that I needed something to write with. In an instant, she found a pad and pen for me.
“It’s at the eastern tip of Beaufort,” he said. “Private property, but the owner’s cool. Drive around the back and we’ll be out on the dock.”
“A dock?”
“We’ve got a boat.”
“I want my daughter first,” I said. “I want her now.”
“Right, like I’m going to give you your kid before I get the stash when you’ve been so reliable before. I’ll see you at midnight.”
“Let me talk to Bella!” I said quickly.
“Forget it.”
“How do I know you really have her?” Though I did know. At the very least, he had Erin’s phone.
I heard voices. A woman was speaking in the background. Maybe Savannah? Then suddenly, Erin was on the phone. “Travis?” she said.
“Erin? I’m sorry, Erin! What the hell is going on?”
“You have to do what he says, Travis.”
“Is Bella okay?”
“Yes, but this guy is serious. He has a gun. Please just do whatever he says.”
I hesitated. “Can they hear me?” I asked softly.
“What? No. I don’t think so.”
“I don’t have the drugs, Erin,” I said. “I tossed them. I didn’t want them in my van.”
She was quiet and I wondered if she was silently cursing me. I was silently cursing myself.
“You need to bring them to the dock, just like he says,” she said.
“You don’t get it. I don’t—”
“At midnight,” she said. “You can do it, Travis. Remember Kill Devil Hills? The coffee cups?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, and I could hear Roy asking her the same question. I heard a scuffle, and the next thing I knew he was back on the phone.
“Midnight,” he snarled at me. “And no cops. Cops show up, you’ll be exceedingly sorry.”
The line went dead and I stared at the phone for a moment, then looked at Robin. “They have Erin and Bella.”
“How did they—”
“I don’t know, but they do. Roy wants me to bring the drugs to this address at midnight.” I held up the piece of paper. “Erin said something weird. When I told her I don’t have them, she said ‘Remember Kill Devil Hills and the coff—’ Oh, whoa.” I pressed my hand to the side of my head. “I think I get it, but I… Oh, shit.”
“What?”
“I have to buy some cases of baby formula.” I reached for the keys to my van where I’d left them on the end table. “A lot of them,” I said. “Where can I go?”
43
Erin
It had been a relief to talk to Travis—to have that connection to someone outside the stuffy Mustang. I’d heard the terror in his voice, especially when he told me he no longer had the drugs. I only hoped he understood what I was talking about with the coffee cups and could pull it off.
Roy drove us back to the rest area after the call to Travis. In the ladies’ room, I turned on the faucet so Bella could wash her hands and caught Savannah staring at me in the mirror. I remembered how her hand shook when Roy talked about me being collateral damage.
“I don’t know how you got mixed up with him,” I said to her in the mirror, “but you can get away. Help me and Bella, please. I’ll pay you.”
She scowled. “Unless you’re a lot richer than you look, you can’t pay me what I can make doing this kind of work. Besides—” she looked at her own reflection in the mirror, smoothing her long hair “—it’s not that easy to get away from your husband.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, handing Bella a paper towel. “You’re married to Roy?”
“Since I was sixteen.” She gave me a small smile. “He can be a charmer when he wants to be.”
I washed my own hands, slowly, savoring the time out of the car. I wet a paper towel and pressed it to the aching lump on the back of my head as I tried to think of something I could say to convince her to break free of the man who was holding her hostage as much as he was Bella and me. She spoke first.
“You married?” she asked, as I dropped the red-stained paper towel into the trash.
“Yes,” I said.
“Then you know,” she said. “Sometimes things are good. Sometimes they suck. There’s always this love/hate thing going on.”
We walked back to the car, me holding Bella’s hand tightly in my own. I thought of my husband, who could turn our grief into a game. He could turn anything into a game. Right now, I could have used one of his games. How to get out of a hostage situation. One thousand players. One hundred thousand players. The more players, the more ideas, he would say. I thought of my Harley’s Dad group, how we leaned on each other. Helped each other. Collaborated. I suddenly saw the parallel between Michael’s way of grieving and my own. The structure might have been different, but the end goal was the same—coping with the devastation of losing a child. Why was my way right and his wrong? I pictured him working on that game, day in and day out. Losing Carolyn. It was his way of handling the pain. Of immortalizing her. Right then, I wished I could talk to him. I wanted to tell him I finally understood.
In the car, I asked Roy for my phone to make one quick call to my husband. He turned to look at me.
“Uhh,” he said, drawing the word out as though he was actually considering my request, “no.”
My eyes stung. What if I was the collateral damage Roy’d been talking about? I didn’t want to die without telling Michael that I loved him.
* * *
Roy dropped Savannah off at a marina where she was supposed to pick up the boat they were borrowing, so it was only the three of us in the Mustang as we pulled into the long driveway of a dark, hulking house. Without Savannah in the car, I felt a thousand times more anxious. Behind the big house, I could see the moon reflected in water. I didn’t know if the water was the sound or Taylor’s Creek or…I wasn’t sure. It was as flat as a mirror, so it wasn’t the ocean, but that was all I knew for certain. Roy had taken a circuitous route to get us there and I’d been paying more attention to Bella than where we were going. Bella’d been so good all day. She’d tolerated being stuck in the car for hours, despite the smoke and a lot of hostile conversation, but now the tension was getting to her. I’d tried to fake being calm as the evening dragged on and turned into night, but with Savannah out of the car, Bella was really picking up my anxiety. How could she not? My head ached and my chest felt so tight I could barely pull in a full breath. When I rubbed Bella’s back, I felt my fear slipping down my arm, through my fingertips and into her body. She cuddled so close to me, it was like she was trying to get inside me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and pressed my chin to her head.
I had no idea what was going to happen next. The house looked deserted so I doubted we were meeting up with anyone there. I’d hated the suffocating hours in the car, but at least I’d felt as though Bella and I were somewhat safe. U
ncertainty lay ahead of us now as we rode down the long driveway, and I held on to Bella with sweaty palms. When we neared the garage, Roy drove off the driveway and onto the lawn, pulling around the rear of the house toward the water. For a terrifying moment, I was afraid he was going to drive us right into that dark, moonlit water, but what he had in mind was almost worse. He parked on the lawn near a long, long dock, an endless strip of silver in the moonlight. I could barely look at it.
Roy turned off the engine, but made no move to get out of the car. He switched on the overhead light to check his watch.
“What’s the plan?” I asked, as if I actually expected him to tell me. My voice came out like a croak, my mouth was so dry.
I thought he wasn’t going to answer. He peered hard through the window toward the water, as if he could see something other than the dock and the moon out there in the darkness. “Savannah will be here with the boat any minute.” He turned around to face me. “So here’s what we’re going to do. You and Bella are going to go out to the end of that dock there. That’s where Savannah will bring the boat. When Travis shows up, and he damn well better, we’ll start loading the cases into the boat. Once they’re all in, he can leave with you and the girl. What Savannah and I do at that point is none of your business. Simple.”
No. Not simple. “Let Bella and me wait here,” I said. “On the lawn. Or even in the car. You can keep us locked in.” I’d rather he locked us in the smoky car than make me walk out on that dock.
“I don’t think so,” Roy said. “As soon as I get the word from Savannah, we’re going out on the dock. Till then, we can all take a little siesta.” He lowered the back of his seat until it nearly hit Bella’s knees and she curled her legs up on the seat. I pulled her closer, trying to figure out what to do. If he fell asleep, could we… Could we what? We were trapped in the backseat of this car, and yet I had the feeling that once we got out, things were going to be much, much worse.
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