by K. A Knight
I pass over the money and the man’s eyes light up. “Pleasure doing business. I’ll have all the modifications you asked for completed by the end of the week.”
I nod and leave without another word, feeling more settled now that I have that sorted. Now, it’s time to find her. I know she should be finishing work soon, so I head to my Jag, not going for the Jeep in case she notices me, and park outside, waiting. I could go in, but she would see me and then there would be questions and I’d doubt myself—would I be strong enough to stay away if I was faced with her?
No, this is easier. I can protect her from afar. I don’t have to wait long. The front door opens, and her and a blonde girl step outside, both huddling from the rain which is still coming down in sheets. I sigh when I spot her leather jacket. She looks fucking amazing, and a flash of her pinned to my kitchen wall as I claimed her pussy comes to mind, but I push it away.
They hug and go their separate ways, with Scarlett tucking her hands into the jacket, rushing to the bus stop, and waiting under the sheltered roof there. I wish I could drive her home, go back to the way we were, but I can’t, and I remind myself why even as I trace her features through the rain splattered glass. A Mercedes pulls up at the bus stop then, almost splashing her, and I watch as she leans closer, her mouth moving as she speaks to someone. She clearly knows them, but she doesn’t look happy and shakes her head. Scarlett frowns when the person inside evidently says something else. I quickly snap a picture of the registration number and wait for the information to load, alternating between glancing at her and my phone.
She keeps shaking her head and pointing at the bus schedule as the information loads. I smash my fists into the wheel, it’s that punk rich kid from her university who I kept seeing around, the one she said wouldn’t take no for an answer. I see her looking around desperately before her shoulders slump and she gets in the car. I go cold all over and rush to follow them, keeping an eye on the car through the window.
If he tries anything, anything at all, fuck the plan. I’ll break his pretty boy face and kill him in front of her. But all he does is drive her home, and when she’s there, she hops out quickly, waiting for him to pull away before heading up the drive. When her eyes meet mine, looking sad and downcast, my heart shatters in my chest.
I miss you too, Scarlett, but this is for the best, I promise.
I wait for her to go inside, and then park the Jag on the street before circling the houses and going in through my back door to see a sad-looking Milo. “I know, boy, I miss her too.”
He sighs, dropping his head to his paws and closing his eyes, ignoring me.
This is going to be a hard week. I head upstairs and strip off, smiling slightly at the bedroom. I had forgotten about her decorations when I stumbled up here last night and passed out, but in the light of day, I can see the spiderweb blanket she added to the bed, the bat cushions, and the dancing Dracula on the bedside table. A startled laugh leaves me when I notice the binoculars she left with a sticky note taped to the top.
To help you watch better - S, with a heart underneath.
If only she knew…
Chapter Twenty-Two
Scarlett
Two days since I’ve heard from him.
Two fucking days.
Not a peep. I stare out of my window hoping to catch a glimpse of him every night, and every night I see an empty room. I’ve texted him every day, letting him know I’m still here, still thinking of him despite the pain it causes me when he doesn’t reply. I know he fears caring for someone again after Milo, I know he wants to protect everyone and control everything, but he should know by now that he can’t control me.
I throw myself into my university work, trying to stay away from Randy after he cornered me the other day after work, and told me the buses had been cancelled due to flooding, and brought me home. All the way, he kept planning for us to go to a party for Halloween, no matter how many times I turned him down, and eventually, when I got home, I told him he should stay away from me then fled. He’s been texting me every day, but I ignore him. I only want to hear from one man.
I stayed late tonight at university, finishing up my book cover and getting it ready to submit tomorrow for critique and judgement from the class. Then, we have a week of improvements until final submission before our next brief is revealed.
It’s dark when I get in and the house is empty, which is strange in and of itself, but I make the most of it and shower and get locked in my room before they get back. They probably went out for more alcohol or drugs when I didn’t get back to go get booze for them. As usual, my eyes drift to Max’s darkened window and I sigh when there is no sign of life. I left my stuff with Nadia to keep it safe. She was happy enough to look after it for me, so I don’t even have any work I can do. Instead, I flop back on my bed and stare at the ceiling.
I hear my mum and Perv come in later, laughing, clearly already drunk, and the music starts up straight away, shattering my peace, and for some reason tears well in my eyes but I dash them away before they can fall. I’m not this fucking weak. A noise at my door has me stiffening and sitting up straight, my heart pounding in fear. I’ve been waiting for him to get back at me for the moves I pulled, but I’ve avoided him so far…it comes again—an unmistakable sniffing noise—and my heart slows as I grin. Dashing to the door, I unlock it quickly before shutting it and locking it again. Milo jumps on my bed, waiting for me, as comfortable here as he is at Max’s.
He used to sneak in a lot, but stopped doing it when I started being at Max’s. I guess we’re both back to old routines. I hop up next to him, curling up on my side, and he wiggles next to me, laying his head on my arm and staring at me. I smile and stroke his head.
“Hey, baby, I missed you too,” I whisper, not wanting them to storm up here and ask who I’m talking to. They did once and found Milo, and Mum kicked him out. “Where’s your daddy, hmm?” I ask, and he snuggles closer, licking my cheek.
I bury my head in his fur and fall asleep cuddled up to him, and when I wake up the next morning, he’s still there, asleep on his back. I check my phone, wondering if Max has wondered where he is, but I don’t see a text. Does he know Milo’s here? He wouldn’t leave Milo alone, so I get ready for the day and sneak him out. He lopes back home and I watch him go before heading to the bus.
He’s ignoring me, I know he is. There is no way he hasn’t seen my texts. Either that or something is wrong, both options fill me with worry. I blame my distraction on that. I don’t spot Randy coming from the other direction and following me into the women’s bathroom. It’s only when the door shuts behind me again that I whirl and see him. My eyes go wide as I stumble back to the sinks, instantly regretting that show of weakness and fear when he moves and pins me there. Shit.
“Randy, what are you doing?” I hiss, looking around, but the toilet is empty, so no help there.
He grins down at me, pressing my lower half painfully back into the porcelain of the sink. “Missed you the last few days,” he says instead of answering me.
“I’ve been busy,” I tell him, trying to push him away, but he moves closer, trapping my hands between us, and my eyes dart to his. What is he doing? “Randy, please step back,” I ask him politely, but he ignores me, as usual.
“Now come on, hot stuff, I can’t have Randy’s girl walking around without me. I’ve missed you,” he murmurs, tugging on a strand of hair that’s escaped my bun.
“Randy, I’m telling you one last time, step back,” I demand, proud of how strong my voice is.
What is it with men thinking they own a woman’s body? Does no mean anything to them? I don’t understand why they take it as a challenge instead of respecting our decision, like we might not know our own mind. They think our bodies are something to be owned. I can see how it easily changes from a simple no to being forced…after all, I’ve been there before and flashbacks are hitting me, making it hard to concentrate. Randy’s face blurs, his eyes replaced with familiar green ones as
he grins at me, and I start to hyperventilate, but Randy ignores me, gripping my hair and smashing his lips to mine.
I start to fight then, my mind lost in the past while my body is locked in the present. I fight them both, Randy’s mouth and Grant’s wandering hands. I bite down on his lip and he yanks away, screaming as blood wells there, and it snaps me back into the present. Memories of Grant disappear back into the box I hid them in inside my own mind. I lived through them, I don’t need to remember them ever again.
I slap him, hard. “Don’t you ever touch me without my permission. I never did nor will I ever want you, so leave me the fuck alone before I report you for sexual assault, you creep!” I shout, before dashing out of there as he cups his red cheek in shock, his lip split from my teeth. I decide to skip the rest of the day in case he comes after me for that slap. I know he won’t let it lie. He’s not the type, so I leave campus and get on the next bus, and when I slump into the seat, I realise I’m shaking.
Turning my face to the steamed up window, I dash away my tears, biting down on my lip to stop the scream clawing at my throat from escaping. God, I wish Max was here. I email my teacher on the way home, explaining I’m ill, and he responds instantly, telling me I can present my final product next week and to get better, then I text Nadia the same excuse, not wanting her to worry and rush over like I know she will.
When I walk down my street, feeling sorry for myself, I spot the light on at Max’s and my mouth drops. I see him move past the front window, his shape unmistakable. Is he back? I pull out my phone and frown when I see he still hasn’t replied, but I text him anyway.
Me: When are you coming home?
I wait, flicking my gaze between my phone and his house, and when I see him pull out his phone and pocket it without looking, pain slices through my chest. That bastard. That bastard is avoiding me. Oh, just you wait until I get my hands on you, Maximus Hunt. If he wants whatever was between us to be over, fine, but he will say it to my face. He doesn’t get to pussy out. I want to see the truth written in his eyes and I will.
I debate heading straight there, but he’ll notice I’ve been crying…fuck it. I stomp up his drive. Let him see, see if I fucking care. He left without a goddamn goodbye and now he’s back. He better have a good fucking reason. I storm up his driveway and smash my fist into his door before stepping back and waiting. I don’t hear anything, but I know he knows it’s me.
“You better open this door, Mr. Hunt,” I snap, my sadness and pain turning to anger even as my heart aches. Why did he lie to me?
Silence, so I narrow my eyes. “I know you’re there. If you don’t open this door, I’ll open it myself,” I snarl, loud enough for him to hear.
A second later the door opens, and I see a stern-faced Max standing there, but his eyes dart around before his gaze meets mine. He feels guilty, good. “What the fuck?” I demand. It’s not eloquent, but it gets my point across.
He sighs. “I just got back—”
I cut him off. “Don’t lie to me, Max. We tell each other the truth, or what the hell are we doing?”
“Scarlett,” he says, rubbing his head, “you shouldn’t be here.”
I flinch then, my heart cracking in my chest at his words. “I want to know what’s going on. Why are you avoiding me? Is it because of what we did? Did I do something wrong?” I ask, my strength vanishing at the end of the sentence, and mortification sweeps through me when I feel tears prickling my eyes.
He looks at me and winces. “Scarlett, please, go home,” is all he says. He’s not denying it, he doesn’t even let me in despite the pain he can obviously hear in my voice and the desperation in my eyes.
“Max—” I try, but he interrupts, his face and eyes going cold.
“Scarlett, leave, what we did was a mistake. Stay away from me,” he snaps and then slams the door shut in my face. I flinch back, the tears falling for real now, and I don’t bother hiding them as my heart shatters in my chest—cascading slivers of pain and heartache from the man who has owned it for years.
I kick at the door, hammering my fists into it. “Fuck you, Max! You’re just like them! Just like that fucking pervert Grant, that twat my mum lies with, and that prick Randy! You’re all the same! You take what you want without any thought about what it costs others!” I scream and then turn to leave, sniffing back tears, but the door wrenches open behind me.
“What happened? Randy? Who the fuck touched you?” he roars, and I feel his hand land on my shoulder, but I twist away from it, turning, my eyes spitting fire.
“Fuck you, you don’t deserve to know my secrets, you don’t deserve me!” I yell and I watch it hit home. He stumbles back, his eyes wide, and I feel sick at the barb. I didn’t mean it, I was hurt and ashamed, but I see the wreckage it has caused. Even when he was cold he wasn’t cruel, and I knew, I knew he didn’t think he deserved love and I just shoved it in his face.
“Max,” I murmur, stepping forward, but he moves back and I sigh. “I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry, I’m just hurt and scared, and you weren’t there and I needed you. Why weren’t you there?” I whisper, looking up with tear-filled eyes.
“What happened?” he demands, ignoring my apology.
“I-I—” I look away. “I’ll, go,” is all I say. I’ve brought enough trouble to his door, I won’t bring this here, not when he’s made it clear he doesn’t want me anymore.
“Scarlett, you fucking tell me right now!” he orders, following after me.
I spin again. “Why? You don’t care!” I throw it in his face and he softens.
“I care, I care too much,” he replies
“What does that mean? I’m sick of all the secrets, all the hot and cold. If you want me, you need to tell me before it’s too late!” I say, but all he does is swallow.
“What happened today?”
I step back, my heart going cold, he doesn’t want me. “Seeing as though it’s all you care about, Randy cornered me. Don’t worry, I took care of it. I won’t bother you anymore.” Then I turn and walk away, leaving my heart shattered on the pavement with him. It’s always been his, and now he can try and put it back together, broken pieces and all. I hope he cuts himself on it for the pain he’s caused, because I’m numb, so numb, and so very tired.
I love him, why can’t he love me back? I thought he did, I thought he cared, but I guess I saw what I wanted to see. I thought my obsession wasn’t one-sided and he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
Limerence, I think they call it.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Maximus
Watching her walk away heartbroken was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I’ll take bombs, bullets, and undercover missions any day, but when faced with the woman I love, the woman whose heart I just threw back at her…I’m lost and out of control. I watch her go, her words, my own fears, thrown back in my face. I don’t deserve her, I really don’t. It’s good she sees that, maybe she can move on now, and be happy.
I have business to take care of to ensure that—a list, and Randy’s name just got moved to the top. I don’t let myself think about what I’ll do when I have everything sorted out for her, watching her leave again will wreck me. At least now I can watch her, protect her, but she will be gone, and I’ll be alone with the broken heart, which will never heal, still pumping in my chest.
I didn’t think I knew how to love, not again, not until she came along. My heart was busted, taped, and cold, but I gave it to her willingly, hoping she wouldn’t break it and she didn’t. I broke it, and now it bangs empty in my ribcage, destroyed beyond repair. It seems wrong that I’m not bleeding, that I’m still functioning despite it. The whole world should see, she should see, but instead, it’s kept inside. A pain no one can take away and a wound no doctor can fix. Realising I’m just staring at her house, I walk back to mine in a daze, and inside, I see the echoes of her happiness here…our happiness despite how short-lived it was.
Men like me don’t get that type of life, I know it, I�
��ve told myself that again and again, but it didn’t stop me from wanting it. Wanting her. Loving her from afar. Now that’s over and I’m left with the rubble, my own obsession blowing up in my face. What will I find when the dust settles?
I head to Randy’s house, already having planned to visit him after I first saw him flirting with Scarlett. I find him in the shower after I break in, and despite his yells and protests, I drag him out fighting and screaming, his nails cutting my arm, the pain and blood helping me feel. Good, let it hurt, it’s better than this…this numb, empty feeling. I throw him down to the floor, glaring at him.
“Stay down or I break both legs,” I warn, deadly serious. He narrows his eyes on me but nods.
“I’m rich, I can pay you,” he offers, tilting his chin up. “My dad is powerful.”
I snort. “I don’t give a fuck about your power or riches, it won’t save you from me. I’ll say this once and once only, stay away from my girl, Scarlett, or you will beg for death when I’m through with you.” Then I crouch, circle his neck, and cut off his air supply easily. “Do you understand me? You get one warning, one warning only, that’s more than she got from you,” I snarl, the sight of his split lip enraging me, because I know she did it.
He nods, his eyes bulging from his head as his face turns purple, gasping for breath. I keep him on the edge there between life and death, a warning before I let go and step back as he wheezes, curling into a ball. Then his eyes raise to mine defiantly and I let that fury snap. When I finally step back, I don’t even remember the punches, but my knuckles are split and covered in blood and Randy isn’t moving, his face a red, bloody pulp. I check his neck for a pulse, noting he’s still alive. Lucky bastard.
I leave then, knowing he got the message. I hope he heeds it, because I don’t want to have to kill him and have Scarlett find out, she will blame herself. I check in on her ex then, watching him to make sure he got the message too, but he seems to have understood. I can’t complete my last task until she leaves the house tomorrow, so I head to her work and watch her from the VIP lounge upstairs. She seems so sad, her shoulders slumped and face pale. I want to leap down there and gather her in my arms, but I don’t. I make myself watch her pain, take it inside of me, and guard it with mine. Three hours before her shift finishes, I leave, planning to come back and watch her to make sure she gets home okay.
