by Jenika Snow
His animal was a beast inside of him on any other normal occasion, but with his mate, seeing her, smelling her, and wanting to go over there, the need to throw her over his shoulder, and take her to his place, rode him strong. The sensations rode him so strongly he felt like his bones would burst through his skin. He wanted to shift, to show her how powerful he was. He wanted to fucking impress her, and that wasn’t like him, not in any sense of the word.
“Your change, sir.”
“Keep it,” he said to the cashier without looking at her. He turned, distracted by his mate, and started walking toward the female. There was this need inside of him so strong he couldn’t even have common sense at the moment. He didn’t want it.
But after he took a few steps he stopped, his hands in tight fists by his outer thighs, his human side became the dominant one now. He wanted to go to her. The instinct was strong, intense, and consumed him like nothing else, but he stopped.
She grabbed a napkin, started wiping her nose, and then sneezed. She hadn’t taken note of him, hadn’t looked up from her book and seen that her mate stood just feet from her, that he was ready to claim her right here. Easton felt like he was losing control, like he wasn’t himself, and he fucking hated that. All his life he’d had the strength, the power that no one else seemed to possess. He didn’t like this feeling like his life was spiraling out of his control, like the simple fact of being mated could take that away from him.
Having a strength from within that he was surprised he could possess right now, he turned and started walking toward the entrance of the diner. It was hard, really fucking hard if he was being honest, but he had to regain control right now. He couldn’t let his inner animal have the upper hand, and couldn’t let fate dictate how he felt in any situation.
He’d think about all this, and decide what he would do.
Once outside he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He took in every scent, every sound, tried to push the need out of him to walk back in there, haul her out of that seat, and throw her over his shoulder. He wanted her like he’d never wanted a woman, like he’d never even thought about a female.
Growling low in his throat, he saw the way the people coming closer to him became startled, nervous. They crossed the street, avoiding him, afraid of him.
Good, because right now he was feeling more volatile, more dangerous, than he ever had in his entire life.
Easton was walking away from his mate, and it felt wrong on every fucking level.
Chapter Three
Jessie had felt strange after she left the diner this morning. She couldn’t even put her finger on it, couldn’t discern why she felt as though something had happened, or maybe she’d missed out on something. She’d tried to shake it off, but it consumed her, wrapped around her like this thick blanket, and because she couldn’t understand why she felt disconnected.
She tried to push the feeling away, tried to calm her serval cat, because the truth was it felt as though she’d lost something, left something behind. But today she didn’t want to focus on anything but trying to get through the day and going over to Brenna’s house. That was going to be hard enough without her emotions, and this strange feeling consuming every part of her.
Tightening her hands on the steering wheel, she saw the familiar signs and landmarks the closer she got to Brenna’s place. It was like she was going back into the past, and she wished, prayed—even though it was too late—that she could go back in time and tell Brenna one last time that she loved her. It had been them against the world, and Brenna had told her over and over again that she was special, that she could be whoever she wanted to be as long as she kept being strong.
The tears she’d tried to hold back since finding out Brenna passed rushed forward at the remembrance of the times she’d shared with her aunt, the fact someone had loved her unconditionally.
“It’s not fucking fair,” she whispered in a strained voice. Wiping the tears away as her anger grew, she finally turned on the last street that would take her to the house.
The small two-story house looked the same, and the feeling of being “home” washed through her. It felt good, but also so sad. As she parked on the side of the road, cut the engine, and just stared at the house for long minutes, memories of the happy times she’d shared in there with Brenna claimed her.
She rested her forehead on the steering wheel and started crying harder than she ever had in her entire life. Her chest ached, her heart broke, and she knew that nothing would ever be the same. And for as much as she was breaking in two right now, there was still that nagging feeling in the back of her mind, one she couldn’t really get rid of, that told her she wasn’t just missing Brenna, but something else … something really big and important.
What she did know was that she’d finish this, go through Brenna’s things, and get the fuck out of Sweet Water. Because being back here for this short time was just too painful.
****
Easton stood off to the side and watched as his future home was being built. He’d contracted the Wylde brothers, a trio of bear shifting brothers that worked in Sweet Water in the construction business. He’d known the grizzlies for decades, all of them strong, powerful, and loyal above all else.
Coming here and watching the progress, seeing things coming together, his future unfolding before him, had always brought him this kind of peace. But since seeing his mate in that diner, and leaving, just turning his back on her and walking away, Easton couldn’t feel anything but self-hatred.
What kind of male walks away from his mate?
He’d been asking himself that over and over again since he left her there this morning. The scent of her still filled his nose, was engrained in every cell in his body, and he’d be able to find her no matter what. His moose wouldn’t stop until it had claimed what was rightfully theirs, but still Easton fought that need.
And he didn’t fully know why.
You know why. You don’t like being out of control. You don’t like that a female could turn your world upside down and she hasn’t even said one damn word to you.
He cursed internally at his thoughts, and ran a hand over his short hair. He needed to figure out what in the hell he was going to do, and he needed to do it fast. As the days passed it would be harder to stay away from her, more difficult and even painful not to follow through with the mating. It was now cemented in him that he had to claim his mate.
“What do you think, Easton?”
He pushed his thoughts aside, schooled himself and the scent of his confusion and the fact he’d found his mate, and watched as Charlie Wylde, the eldest bear shifting brother, walked toward him. He was sweaty, his white shirt soaked, his big body corded with muscles. He’d known the Wylde brothers since he was younger. Charlie, Ford, and Bram had all found their mates years ago, were living happily, contentedly, with their own families. They deserved it, though. They were hard workers, had always had Easton’s back, and never distanced themselves because of his standoffish and normally pissed off demeanor.
“Well?” Charlie asked again.
Easton nodded and looked at the house. “It’s incredible. You guys are doing a fantastic job, and fast, too.”
“Well, don’t think we are slacking on quality because we are getting it done.”
“I’d never think that. You guys know what you’re doing.”
The two males stood side-by-side, neither speaking for a moment, and the sound of the construction going on around them loud, but still not able to drown out the thoughts of Easton’s mate.
“You think it’ll be done before winter?” It was already September, but they had the frame, roof, and even the rooms up. Some of the rooms were even finished, aside from some superficial things.
“At the rate we’re going we should have it done by end of October. Wiring is getting done next week, so we are ahead of schedule.”
Easton grunted his response.
They stood there in silence again, but he scented the fact Char
lie had something to say, and before the bear even said anything Easton knew what it was going to be.
Clearly Easton hadn’t hidden what he felt well enough. But the question was would Charlie bring it up, or know from the wall Easton had put up that he didn’t want to fucking talk about it.
“So,” Charlie said, and Easton tensed as he thought Charlie would ask him something Easton didn’t want to talk about. “If you have any questions about the house, call me. But other than that we are good to go on everything.”
Easton looked at Charlie, and the two males held each other’s gazes, neither speaking for a moment, but Easton able to tell Charlie could sense that Easton had found his mate. At least the male knew when to keep his mouth shut.
Easton nodded once, and Charlie went back to the house. Easton stood there for several more minutes, and then he turned and headed back to the shop, needing to get his mind off of a certain female. He knew working wasn’t going to help, but at this rate it had to be better than standing here and letting everyone know he had a mate, but had turned his back on her before she even saw him.
Chapter Four
Jessie stood in the center of Brenna’s living room, looking at the boxes she’d pulled out from the attic and the basement, and willed herself not to cry. The emotions were intense, so strong that she couldn’t breathe if she thought about them too hard. But she had to be strong for Brenna, had to make sure she got through this. It might just be her from now on, but that didn’t mean she was alone.
That’s what Brenna would have told her, anyway.
Her serval cat was pacing inside of her, the emotions of the animal wilder, a little untamed. It sensed Jessie’s human side and how upset it was at this moment, and because she was a shifter her serval wanted out, to run free and help take away that pain. Her two sides worked as one, and although her animal at times pushed and shoved at Jessie’s human side, trying to gain supremacy, they were still just … one.
She sat in the center of the floor and started looking through the first box. It was mainly old magazines and cookbooks. She had to laugh at the fact cookbooks were in a box stuffed away in the attic. Brenna hated to cook.
The next book was a little more depressing as it was filled with photo books.
For the next twenty minutes Jessie went through those books, smoothing her fingers along images of Brenna when she was younger, and even laughed a few times at the pictures of Brenna and Jessie’s mom when they were toddlers.
The tears came fast and hard, and although they weren’t unexpected because she’d felt the tingling of their presence in the corner of her eyes, she wiped them away angrily. Putting everything back in the boxes she stood. There was a wildlife preserve just outside of town. She could go there, let her animal free, and maybe she’d feel a little better, like she wouldn’t tear everything apart if she stayed in this house a moment longer.
Grabbing her keys and purse, she got in her car and headed toward the woods. It was only about ten minutes from where Brenna lived, and once there Jessie felt a little less angry. Her emotions were still raw and untamed, but knowing she was going to shift and run them out, run until she could barely stand, even just relax after that, made her feel a semblance of control.
She parked her car and climbed out. The sun was shining, and the weather was perfect for a run. She’d driven down a dirt road, not wanting to have a bunch of people there when she changed. Sweet Water was a shifter town, but that didn’t mean she wanted to turn into her animal with parents and kids walking around. It was kind of like getting undressed. Some people didn’t care, but Jessie preferred to be discreet. Besides, she needed this time to herself.
Walking through the trees, up the narrow incline, she took in the sights and sounds of the wilderness. It was freedom that had her animal pacing, had her serval wanting out so it could run the emotions to the ground until Jessie couldn’t stand. That’s what she needed, how she’d tame the pain inside of her.
Once she was a good ways up the mountain, she stopped, turned around, and made sure she was alone. Inhaling deeply and closing her eyes, she took in everything around her. Her animal senses were more attuned, and she’d be able pick up on anything that her human’s senses hadn’t been able to catch.
When she was satisfied she was alone, Jessie removed her clothing and set it on a nearby boulder. There she stood, in nothing but skin, the air blowing over her nude body, and the power from her animal slamming into her.
She felt her muscles morph, her bones pop, felt her skin stretch as fur replaced it. And then with a great surge of power she transformed into her animal. There she stood, her serval small, almost delicate in appearance. To some who didn’t know her breed she’d probably seem like an oversized or exotic housecat.
She might be small compared to a lot of wild cats, but she could be dangerous, could protect herself if need be.
Jessie took off, ran through the underbrush, swerved in and out of the trees, and felt that pain she had inside of her, consuming her, melting away as the freedom of the forest, of being in her animal, consumed her.
But she couldn’t do this all the time. She had to deal with her shit as a human, because running wasn’t going to always work. And when she shifted back into her human she’d still have the same problems.
****
Easton drove his SUV toward the Sweet Water Mountains. Once he was on the dirt road that took him the back way to the less populated section of the woods, he pulled off to the side and cut the engine. He’d come up here today because he needed to shift, because thinking about seeing his mate was eating him up. He was having one hell of a time staying away from her, and although his instincts told him to go to her and mate with the little serval, he’d been strong and not contacted her. Easton had to get his head on straight and decide how to approach this, because what he wanted to do was go all alpha on her ass, tell her she didn’t have an option on the mating or not, and claim her right then and there.
He climbed out of the SUV and shut the door, breathing in the crisp autumn air. The wilderness called to him, and although he much preferred solitude and being isolated, this was the next best thing. Shucking off his clothes and standing there naked, he inhaled again, let his chest rise and fall, and then closed his eyes and shifted.
The feeling of his powerful animal moving through him, of his skin and muscles stretching, tearing, of bone breaking and realigning, washed through him in a wave of strength and a rush of adrenaline.
And then he stood there, towering in height, and nearly one thousand pounds of raw, animalistic muscle.
Being in his moose form gave Easton a type of freedom nothing else did, had him thinking clearer, too, but being shifted also meant his instincts were more volatile. Just thinking about his mate in this form had his animal becoming agitated, made him want to hunt her down right now, no matter the consequences. It was what was important in all ways.
Breathing out in a great gust of air, he started moving into the woods. He didn’t need to run like many shifters did to get out their emotions, didn’t need to do anything but be in his animal body and enjoy the fact he was free.
The higher he moved up the mountains the more he felt his body tensing, his thoughts consumed with his mate. He’d have to go to her, because staying away for this short time had been hard as hell, and bordered on painful. Once a shifter found their mate they had the undeniable and uncontrollable urge to find them. With each passing moment they fought that urge, which was what Easton had been doing, the physical reaction was uncomfortable. He’d start to get more aggressive, more territorial with all things. He’d have a short temper, his thoughts only revolving around his mate. It was a consuming and never-ending battle, and one he wouldn’t be victorious in if he honestly thought he could stay away.
As he made his way through the woods, took in the sight and smells, the fact other animals kept their distance, he knew he couldn’t hold off in seeing his mate any longer. He didn’t know her name, didn’t know anythin
g about her aside from she was a serval cat shifter and his female. This low sound left him at that thought, at the feeling that consumed him at knowing after all this time he’d finally found the one person that was meant to be his. Easton may never have thought he’d want a mate, had also felt he was more comfortable in his isolated life, but then fate had to bitch-slap him right across the face and present that gorgeous little cat shifter to him.
He kept climbing higher, and the wind from downhill blew by him. It was then, in that moment, that everything stalled. He froze, inhaled deeply, and made a gruff sound as he turned his whole body around and smelled his mate. She was close, in her animal form, and because the wind was uphill he knew she wouldn’t be able to sense his presence yet.
Easton moved back down the mountain, followed the sweet scent of his mate, and when he saw her in a clearing, her sleek spotted body, her large ears, and her wide blue eyes checking out everything, the human part of him rose up just as violently as his animal did when he’d first seen her.
She was lying on a patch of grass, the sun shining down through the tops of the trees, lighting up her small body. Compared to him—in animal and human form—she was tiny, but a part of him knew, just by the look of her, at the way she was on alert, ready to attack, that there was a fierce little thing in that small package.
But as he moved closer, his breathing hard, anxious to go to her, his hoof broke a twig. She instantly rose up, her back arched, her teeth bared. She hissed out, but as their eyes locked, and even though they were both in their animal forms, he scented her realization of who and what he was to her.
They stood there for several moments, neither moving, but their focus on each other. And then she took off in the other direction. He went after her, and although a moose was fast, she was far faster. He followed her scent all the way down the mountain. When he finally stepped through the trees it was to see her standing by a car, in the process of getting dressed. He shifted back to his human body, not caring that he was naked. He meant to move toward her, to get out of the covering of the forest, but as she bent over and was trying to quickly slide on her pants, all he could stare at was the big, rounded curve of her ass only covered by a pair of tiny white panties, and that strip of skin on her lower back as her shirt didn’t quite cover it.
