by Mari Carr
It was becoming clear from their joking conversation that Jill and Seth were nothing more than friends. Wes suddenly felt like a fool. He reached up and lightly brushed her cheek with his fingers.
She turned and looked at him.
Wes gave her a rueful grin. “Sorry.”
“You want something to eat?” she asked.
He nodded and walked around the counter as Seth stood to leave.
“Thanks for lunch, Jill. It was good to see you again.”
“You too, Seth,” she replied.
“Wes.” Seth stuck out his hand.
Wes accepted the proffered handshake and the truce it implied. “Take it easy, man.” He watched Seth leave, saw the brief, pained glance he flashed toward Jill as she headed for the kitchen. While Jill’s feelings didn’t extend past friendship, Wes wasn’t sure the same could be said for Seth.
Jill returned with a huge bowl of beef stew and a large slice of homemade bread and butter. All thoughts of Seth flew from his mind the second she put the food in front of him.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes appreciatively. “Damn, that smells good.”
She poured him a glass of lemonade. “You earned that. Thanks for everything you’ve done today, Wes. We wouldn’t have been able to open if you hadn’t gotten the bathroom functioning.”
“Yeah, well. You might want to put up a sign that mentions flushing only toilet paper.”
Jill looked annoyed. “Wish I could get my hands on the asshole who thought it would be fun to flush a bunch of rags.”
Wes took a sip of his lemonade. “You and me both. Can’t say that was the most pleasant job I’ve ever done. Smell was terrible.”
She leaned over the counter and blessed him with the same view she’d given Seth. Unlike Seth, Wes didn’t find it as easy to look away. The tops of her creamy white breasts peeked through the buttons of her blouse and suddenly his mouth wasn’t watering for beef stew anymore.
“Do you need anything else?” Her voice was low, seductive.
Wes’ gaze rose to her face. He had an entire list of things he needed from her, but now wasn’t the time or the place. He shook his head and she smiled as she walked away.
As he ate, he conversed with a few of the diners, his gaze never traveling far from Jill as she moved around the room, comfortable in her domain. She gossiped with a few elderly ladies as she topped up their coffee cups. She wiped tables and showed a couple to a corner booth. She sliced pie, mopped up spilled tea, and managed to do it all with a friendly smile and a kind word to everyone in the place.
Once he finished his meal, he rose, ready to tackle the problems in the kitchen. When Jill walked by, he reached out and grabbed her. His impetuous movement surprised her, and her eyes widened when he wrapped his arms securely around her waist and pulled her close. When she opened her mouth to lambaste him, he swooped down and kissed her, long and hard.
He’d intended a quick brush of the lips. He couldn’t resist her for one more moment. Watching her, being so close to her all day, was wreaking havoc on his libido. At this point, he wasn’t above begging.
Jill fought him for only a moment before her body went soft against his, and her tongue swiped across his lips.
So she wasn’t immune to a little public display of affection herself. He groaned softly, and the sound brought them both to their senses as they broke away.
They stared at each other, and he wondered what in the hell had possessed him to come on so strongly. The patrons in the diner erupted into applause, several of the men hooting, the elderly ladies giggling.
He grinned, offering her an apology. “Sorry, pixie. Lost my head.”
She returned his smile with one of her own. “Little late for that now, isn’t it? I’ll never live this down.”
He shrugged. “Hey, I live in this town too.”
“You’re impossible.”
“I’m wearing you down, aren’t I?”
She shook her head slowly, averting her eyes, and he glimpsed true sadness in her gaze. He started to question her but she wiggled out of his grip, shook off his hold. Within seconds, the indomitable Jill reappeared. “No. You’re aren’t. You can’t.”
She walked away, leaving him in the wake of her last words.
You can’t.
Chapter Three
Jill wiped the kitchen counter after lunch rush the next day, keeping one eye on the back door. Wes hadn’t shown up this morning to work. They hadn’t discussed work hours for him and she wasn’t sure why his absence annoyed her so much. Seth had never put in more than a couple of hours a week and even that was whenever he wanted.
So why was she pissed as hell that Wes wasn’t here? She tried to fight back her frustration. She was actually missing him. Missing him! Damn it, the infuriating man left her so confused, she didn’t know if she was coming or going. He’d worked most of the day yesterday, finally getting her second bathroom functioning. After his very public proclamation at lunch, he’d kept his hands to himself, much to her relief…and chagrin.
Regardless of her opinion that the two of them would be better off in different states—hell, on different continents—she couldn’t deny the desires that sizzled throughout her body whenever he was nearby. She was irresistibly drawn to him and it scared the hell out of her. She’d known long before Christmas that she was fighting a losing battle where Wes Robson was concerned, but she couldn’t give in. There was too much at stake. Too much she couldn’t tell him. She had to figure out a way to keep her hands to herself. She’d fight her need for the man with every breath in her body, which sadly wasn’t saying much, considering her new handyman left her absolutely breathless.
“Morning, pixie.” His voice rang out from the back door.
She turned slowly, scowling. “You’re late.”
He grinned and produced a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers from behind his back. “I didn’t know I had strict work hours. That may cause a bit of a problem for me.”
She took the flowers, fighting to hide her delight at his thoughtful gesture. Her mind raced as she tried to remember whether any man had ever given her flowers before. She couldn’t recall a single instance in her life.
“Thanks.”
His eyebrows rose. “Thanks? That’s it?”
She narrowed her eyes. “What were you expecting? That I would fall down on my knees and kiss your feet? Whose yard did you steal these from anyway?”
He laughed, and she struggled not to grin.
“There it is,” he said. “I knew there had to be some sort of smartass remark buried somewhere in that thank you. Damn, for a minute there I thought you were losing your touch.”
She rolled her eyes as she turned and bent down to rummage in the cabinet for a vase. “So about your work hours, I think—”
“I’ve applied for another job, so my work hours here are going to have to be scheduled around that.”
“What other job?” She was surprised by his comment. He had been recuperating from the injuries he’d sustained in his last DEA mission, and while Rick had made inroads toward starting his new business, Wes hadn’t mentioned his plans for the future.
“I don’t want to say anything until I know for sure I’ve got it. Might jinx myself.”
“Since when did you become superstitious?”
He wrapped his arm around her waist from behind as she turned to fill the vase with water. He pulled her braid aside with one hand, planting soft kisses on the back of her neck. Shit, how could he turn her to mush with just a few light touches?
“Wes.” Her voice betrayed her, sounding more like an invitation than a chastisement.
“Hmm,” he murmured as his hands drifted beneath her blouse to cup her breasts. His fingers toyed with her nipples as he pressed his firm erection into her ass.
“Damn it,” she murmured.
“What happened to your car?” he asked, shocking her with his abrupt change of subject.
“My car?”
�
�I noticed on the way in that there were some scratches in the door.”
She nodded. “Oh yeah. Happened a few days ago. Looks like some shithead keyed the driver’s side door when I was at the grocery store.”
Wes frowned, but she dismissed it. “It’s an old car, Wes. I’m not too worried about it.” She put the flowers in the vase and started to arrange them.
“So how about I take you out to dinner tonight?” He leaned against the counter and snatched a handful of pretzels from a bowl.
“I have to work tonight.”
“You work every night,” he said. “You’re the boss. Give yourself tonight off.”
“I can’t leave Cheryl shorthanded on such late notice. Besides, Tuesdays are Lottie’s night off, so I’m cooking while Cheryl serves.”
He frowned. “You need to hire more help. You work too hard.”
She recognized the truth behind his words. Lately, she was tired, overworked, and she longed for some real time away. Taking a shift off here and there simply wasn’t cutting it anymore. She wanted a break from the place, a real vacation.
“Hiring more people costs money.” The excuse was a weak one. The diner did well enough that she could hire on at least two more full-time people without any problem.
“Sell that to someone who’s buying it, Jill. I’ve seen the business you do around here and I know this building is bought and paid for. Money isn’t the issue and you know it.”
“Maybe not, but you said yourself the place needs some major repairs. That’s going to cost me plenty of money and maybe even some downtime, while the repairs are being made. Now’s not a good time to consider increasing staff.”
He fell silent and she knew she’d convinced him with her argument. Now if only she could convince herself. She’d love to be able to go out on a moment’s notice for a night of fun.
“You know what they say?”
“What’s that?” she prompted.
“All work and no fun…”
“Makes Jill a dull girl.”
He gave her a sexy grin. “You couldn’t be boring if you tried. So save a night this weekend for me.”
She started to protest but he placed his fingers against her lips. “I’m giving you plenty of advance warning. Besides, there’s the issue of my payment. I did work quite a few hours yesterday.”
She grimaced as his statement hit home. He’d worked close to an eight-hour day, and she wondered how in the hell she’d manage that many hours alone with him without falling into his arms or better yet, his bed.
Aw shit. Better yet?
Yep, she was screwed. Hopefully, literally as well as figuratively. She groaned at the waywardness of her cursed thoughts.
Wes tugged at her braid. “Don’t look so worried. I aim to make sure you enjoy paying up. Every single second of it.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
He glanced at his watch and shook his head. “Listen, pixie, as much as I’d love to spend the day with you, I’ve got a job interview. I’ll catch up with you later.”
He gave her a quick, friendly kiss on the lips before vanishing out the back door again.
She sighed. Even his platonic kisses managed to fire up her libido. She looked at the clock on the wall and wondered if she had time to visit her vibrator before getting ready for the supper crowd.
Nope, of course she didn’t. Damn, it was going to be a long night.
* * * * *
Jill bade the last of the diners goodnight and locked the front door. She turned the sign that hung there to the closed side and pulled the blinds down.
“Dishes are done, Jill,” Cheryl called from the kitchen. “You need help with anything else?”
“No.” Jill blew out a tired breath.
It had been a long day, physically and emotionally. The diner had been quite busy for a weeknight. Unfortunately, she had Wes on the brain and it had made it hard for her to concentrate. She’d screwed up more orders than she’d gotten right.
Cheryl walked into the dining room. “So let’s have it,” she said as she sat on a stool at the bar, her body language indicating she wasn’t budging until Jill gave her the answer she was looking for.
“Have what?”
“Where’s your head been tonight? It’s not like you to foul up so many things.”
Jill rubbed her eyes wearily and claimed the stool next to her friend. “Three guesses, and the first two don’t count.”
“Wes.”
Jill put her head down on her arms on the counter, the action reminding her of a naughty school girl being punished. “I’m so fucked up.”
“No, you’re not. You’re falling in love. And if I’m not mistaken, it’s the first time in a long time you’ve let yourself do that.”
Jill didn’t raise her head. “I can’t fall in love with him.”
“Why not?”
Jill kept her eyes closed. Avoided direct eye contact with her best friend. Not even Cheryl knew the secret she was carrying. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t told Cheryl or why she hadn’t confided in her sister Kate. At first, she’d hoped the doctor was wrong. Now it was simply too painful to think about. As long as she was single, unattached, she could pretend it didn’t exist. Being with Wes, wanting more with him, had driven it right back to the forefront, and she needed help.
Raising her head, she started to say the words but they lodged in her throat. She shrugged instead. “Because he’s a pain in the ass.”
Cheryl smiled but Jill could see she hadn’t fooled her friend. “No, he’s not.”
They fell silent, and Jill knew Cheryl was giving her a chance to come clean.
When she didn’t speak, Cheryl rose. “I’m headed for bed unless you need help cleaning up out here.”
“No,” Jill said. “I only have to finish sweeping. Go on to bed. I won’t be too far behind you.”
“If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.”
Jill nodded.
“Night, then.”
Jill listened as her friend climbed the stairs to her apartment, but she didn’t stand. Swallowing hard, she tried to fight back tears. She was being stupid and emotional. Her resolve to hold Wes at arm’s length was definitely wavering. He made her want far too much. Too much that she could never have. That she could never give him. She took a deep breath and whispered the words. Uttered them aloud in the quiet room.
“I can’t have children.”
Hearing them, she realized she’d never spoken them out loud. She said it again. “I can’t have children.”
The acknowledgement sent tears to her eyes, but she batted them away. She’d never cried over that loss and she sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.
Her mind drifted back to Christmas morning.
Kate and Rick had gone upstairs, leaving her and Wes alone for far too long. Shortly after their incredible make-out session under the mistletoe, they’d joined Kate and Rick in the kitchen for breakfast…
“Oh damn, Jill,” Wes said, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his stomach. “That was delicious.”
Rick assumed a similar pose while she and Kate giggled.
“Twenty dollars says they’re both asleep on the couch in front of the TV in an hour,” her sister teased.
“You’re on,” Jill said. “I say they’ll be dozing in thirty minutes.”
Wes topped up her mimosa, then lifted his own. They clinked the glasses together as Wes said, “To the chef. Long may she reign.”
Jill grinned. “Men are so easy to please it’s frightening.”
Wes nodded. “I’d like to protest that sentiment, but I’m afraid it’s true. Give me a full stomach and a hot woman in my bed and I feel like the richest man on earth.”
Rick placed his arm around the back of Kate’s chair, pulling it closer. “I don’t know about that, Wes. I may have Kate in my bed, but I don’t think I’ll really be happy until I have my ring on her finger.”
Kate blushed. “Rick. We’ve talked abo
ut that. We haven’t even known each other a full year. It’s too soon to talk marriage.”
“I’m thirty-five, Kate. We can wait years and it still won’t change how much I want you to be my wife.”
Wes leaned forward. Jill knew he was talking about Kate and Rick, but he looked at her as he spoke. “And babies. You want to start having kids before you’re too old to pick them up.”
Rick rolled his eyes. “Again with the kid talk. Wes, I swear to God, you aren’t going to be satisfied until you have a brood as big as The Brady Bunch.”
Wes didn’t disagree as his smile grew larger. “Six kids wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Especially if I had the perfect woman to raise them with.”
“Florence Henderson’s a bit old for you, wouldn’t you say?” Jill joked, surprised she could speak so naturally when every drop of moisture had evaporated in her mouth.
Wes acknowledged her jest with a quick nod, but the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. Wes Robson thought he was looking at his perfect woman. God help him.
Jill had spent the remainder of the holiday trudging through as if she were waist deep in mud. It had taken all the strength in her body to remain at the old farmhouse Rick and Wes shared without running away like a coward. From that point on, she’d avoided Wes. Though it hadn’t been easy to maintain her distance these past couple of months, it was certainly preferable to the hell she resided in now that Wes was hanging around every day.
She wanted him. Wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone or anything. However, she couldn’t be what he wanted and she would never ask him to sacrifice something that meant so much to him. Wes wanted to be a father. She smiled sadly. He’d be an amazing dad. So much better than the guy who’d donated the sperm to create Jill and Kate.
She’d decided years ago that marriage wasn’t in the cards for her. She’d taken that dream out of her future equation and she’d stuck to her guns, eschewing relationships in favor of casual dating.
“It’s not going to happen,” she muttered to herself. “No use crying over spilled milk. You want Wes. He wants kids. The pieces don’t fit. They’ll never fit. Time to move on.”
