by Lily Kate
I focus on driving home, but my mind is somewhere else, somewhere distant. I’m on top of the world one second, thrilled about the opportunities for my career, Lisa and I going places… If Nick’s prospects are serious, this could change our lives.
On the other hand, Ryan Pierce is flying away from me with a beautiful woman by his side. I trust him, and I know he wouldn’t lie to me, but…we are friends with benefits. We aren’t exclusive, we aren’t married—we aren’t anything, really.
Even if he promises nothing will happen between him and the agent, what happens when he spends time with her day after day while I’m thousands of miles away? And if not her, then someone else.
While one part of my heart is thrilled, the other is aching. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything about either of them at the moment.
Only time will tell.
The problem is that I’m impatient, and I don’t feel like waiting.
CHAPTER 33
Andi
“Andi, for the third time, will you bring me the freaking—” My dad pops his head out from the kitchen at Peretti’s and cuts himself off midsentence. “Andi?”
I’m sitting on a barstool at the counter staring deep into the flames of the oven, oblivious to the customers around me. I only vaguely hear my dad’s voice calling my name to bring him something or other to fix the leaky faucet.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, his voice a little gruff as he rounds the counter and takes a seat next to me. “What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing,” I say, forcing myself to snap back to attention. Neither my dad nor I are big in the way of talking about our feelings. We prefer to grunt and argue with each other until the problem has passed or otherwise fixed itself. “Sorry, just distracted.”
“I’ll say. I’ve asked you for the screwdriver several times.”
“Where’s the screwdriver?” I stand. “Sorry, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”
It’s the truth, but that’s not the only reason I’m off balance. The adrenaline has eased from the morning’s meeting and the previous night’s thrills, and now Ryan’s far away and I’m waiting to hear from Nick. This odd limbo has me in some weird funk, and I can’t decide if I’m excited or sad, happy or depressed, tired or alert. Somehow, I manage to be none of the above, which is why I’m floating around in a fog of uncertainty.
“I recognize this, whatever it is,” my dad says. “I’ve been there. Something’s bothering you.”
“Comedy stuff,” I say. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t let it affect my schoolwork.”
“Is that all you think I care about?” he asks. “Your stupid grades?”
“Stupid grades?” I face him. “You’re the one who makes it sound like it’s the end of the world if I get a B+.”
“Nobody should get a B+ in art class, Andi. Draw something on a page and turn it in to your teacher.”
“It wasn’t an easy art class,” I mumble. “I suck at drawing.”
“But you don’t suck at comedy,” he says. “And that’s an art.”
I frown. “How do you know?”
My dad looks at his fingernails. They’re clean, but he plays with them anyway. “I just know.”
My dad has never been to a show, never supported my dreams of being a comic. He still wants me to be an accountant—stable job, stable pay, stable everything. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“You know that thingy with videos?” He glances at me, his cheeks reddening ever so slightly. “The tube or whatever.”
“YouTube?”
“Whatever. Where they put videos of you?”
It starts to click. “You’ve seen me on YouTube?”
“Rick has a channel and he puts all your stuff on there,” he says. “Your sister showed it to me once.”
“I am going to kill her,” I say through my teeth. “I thought you didn’t know how to use the internet.”
“I don’t,” he says. “But there’s only one button I have to click in the little bookmark tab and it just pops up for me. Magic.”
“Magic,” I mumble. “So you’ve seen me perform once?”
“Once?” He shakes his head, a smile playing on his lips. “I’ve seen every one of your shows, kiddo.”
My jaw drops open. “But I thought…” I can’t even finish my sentence. “What about accounting?”
“I wanted you to get your education while you’re young. I didn’t go to college, and I wanted you to have that opportunity, to be able to get out of the restaurant biz if that’s what you desire.”
“Dad, I love working here. Peretti’s is great, and—”
He waves a hand. “I have no regrets about how my life turned out, but I want you to have whatever opportunities you may desire. I thought you were too young to decide whether or not you needed a college degree when you graduated high school, so I made you enroll.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You’ve got talent, kid.”
“For accounting?”
He meets my eyes, and I realize we have the same forest green coloring there that lightens in the sun and darkens under the stars. “You’re going to make it in the comedy business, sweetheart. You’re talented, really funny, and smart too, not that stupid humor.”
I’m not sure what qualifies as stupid humor, but I’m glad my dad doesn’t think I have it. “Wow, I had no idea…”
“You’ll be graduating this year, and I guess…” He shrugs, returning his gaze to the countertop. “It’s time I am honest with you. I want you to go after your dreams. Get that degree first, like I ask, but then go for it. You’re young, and you’ve got grit. If anyone can make a living from their dreams, it’s you.”
“Dad—”
“Whatever news you got that has you in a funk—good or bad, I don’t care—you’re going to succeed at this, Andi, and I want you to know I’ll be there for you.”
My eyes sting. As I mentioned, we’re not an emotional family. Then again, we’ve never talked like this, not even at my mother’s funeral. “That means a lot, Dad.”
I lean over and put my arms around his shoulders. He squeezes me back, and dare I say he blinks a little faster than usual? I’ve seen my dad cry twice, that’s it—once when my mom got sick, once when she died. I hate seeing him cry more than anything.
“Maybe you can come to a live show once,” I tell him. “I’d love that.”
“Me too,” he says, his voice gruff.
We hesitate a moment longer, both of us in new territory. It’s clear that neither of us is quite sure where to go from here.
“Is there anything else going on?” My dad’s face crinkles as if he’s not sure whether or not he actually wants me to tell him. “Did you want to talk more?”
I shake my head, but after one more look at him, I find myself spilling the details about my day. I tell him about the audition, about the morning with Ryan—only the part about him leaving, not the good stuff from the previous night. Mostly, I just mention that he flew home.
“He’s gone, and I don’t know how to feel about it.”
“Feel however you want, kid,” he says. “The heart wants what it wants, even if your mind thinks it’s stupid.”
We sit together and I think about his words. The more I think about Ryan, the more I realize my heart wants to be next to his. My heart, my soul, my body—all three pieces agree on one thing: that Andi Peretti is happier when she’s around Ryan.
The phone rings, breaking the silence. My dad answers. “Hello?” he asks. The other person begins speaking and my dad glances at me. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”
I blink up at him, trying to read his expression. I can’t.
“Uh-huh, uh-huh,” he says a few more times. “A smiley face?”
My heart beats faster.
“You don’t want a pizza, do you?” he says to the person on the other end of the line. “Sure, I’ll send her over.”
“Who was that?” I ask, trying to be calm. Ryan’s not even in the
state—it can’t be him.
Sure enough, I’m right.
“That was Lisa,” he says. “She misses you.”
I try not to show my disappointment. “Ah.”
“She mentioned you had a rough day,” he says, watching me cautiously. “She also mentioned that she’s got a bottle of wine with your name on it, and said if you could bring over a pizza, that’d be great.”
“I already told her I’d be there after I finished up here,” I say. “Sorry, Dad, she’s persistent—”
“Go,” he says before I can finish. “Angela will be arriving any second, and we can handle it.”
“But—”
He reaches into the cash register and hands me a hundred. “Here are your tips. You can take the extra sausage I made by accident.”
“Are you sure?”
“Go.”
“I’m scared of Lisa, too,” I say with a smile, and my dad laughs. “Thank you.”
“I love you, kid,” he says.
“I love you too, Dad.”
He hands me a pizza, and I head out to the car. I’ve begun parking in the alley again, even though the vehicle is still missing a few pieces. Either my dad hasn’t noticed, or he doesn’t care.
When I slip into the car and the GPS guides me toward Lisa, a sense of calm falls over me. I have family. I have kickass friends. I have a potential breakthrough for my passion, and I hooked up with Ryan Pierce last night.
Life could definitely be worse.
CHAPTER 34
Andi
“You really didn’t have to bail me out early,” I say as soon as Lisa opens the door. I grabbed a bottle of wine on the way over, and it’s balanced on the pizza. “It’s nice of you to offer, but I could’ve stopped by later.”
“I was being selfish.” She reaches for the wine, and then leaves me to trail behind her carrying the pizza into the apartment. “I was out of wine, and you’d promised me a bottle.”
We both know she’s lying, but that’s how Lisa rolls. She’s the most loyal friend a girl can ask for; she might swear like a sailor, but she’s got my back, and I’ve got hers. That’s how it’s always been, and it’s how it’ll always be. I force her into a hug to show her I appreciate it.
I take my shoes off since I’m well acquainted with her home. It’s a tiny place that she shares with a roommate, but he’s rarely home. He’s one of our mutual comedian friends, and he’s gay—or so we think. I’m not sure it’s ever been confirmed.
“Derrick’s gone. Hamptons,” she says. “I think he’s found a friend out there, but what do I know? Sit down. Tell me everything.”
I follow her abrupt change of subject easily. We’ve been doing this for years, and Lisa has a cadence to her speech that I’ve grown accustomed to.
“I’m not sure there’s much to tell.”
“Uh, how about we start with the first question: why the hell did Nicholas Bennett call you?”
I wince. “He saw our show?!”
“I know.” Lisa sticks a hand on her hip. “I heard that from him. He called me after he finished with you!”
“Did you get an audition too?”
She squeals, a sound I never expected to Lisa make. She hates teeny-bopper, high-pitched girly noises, but in this moment she has her Justin Bieber-fangirl impression down pat. “Yes. Tomorrow. Hence the reason I’m drinking heavily tonight.”
I eye her glass. “You’re cut off.”
“I’m kidding. I haven’t had a thing to drink tonight except for whiskey, and that doesn’t count.” When I start to argue, she waves me off. “Moving along because I can’t talk about Nick any more without freaking out. So, tell me about Ryan.”
“Ryan…”
“Pierce.”
“I know which Ryan,” I say. “I’m trying to figure out what to tell you.”
“Did you kiss?”
I hesitate a moment too long and she inhales the hugest of breaths.
“Maybe I slept over.”
She smacks me with a pillow, clearly too wired to formulate a thought.
“I sent you a picture of my hair!”
“I thought you were making out! You never sleep with guys this quickly.”
“Oh, don’t worry…we didn’t sleep.” By now, I’m grinning. “It was ah-mazing.”
She falls back onto the bed. “You’re a goddess. Ryan Pierce. Ryan Pierce.”
“He’s just a normal guy,” I say, remembering our shared laughs, the way he touched my hair, caressed my skin. “And I hate to say it, but…”
“You like him.”
I nod. “A lot.”
“Well, you’re going to that wedding with him, right?”
“As a friend…with benefits.”
“When is it?”
“Just under a month away.”
“You won’t see him until then?” she asks. “How does this whole thing work? I usually don’t date, I just…well, I have one date and that’s it. So what’s the protocol? Does he call you, or do you call him?”
I shrug. “We’re figuring things out. I don’t want to put any pressure on him. I went into this agreement knowing full well it’s not going anywhere.”
“Don’t say agreement, it seems so formal.”
“I sort of demanded sex.”
“Who are you?” Lisa asks, forgetting about the wine glass in her hand as she stares at me. “I’m the one who has irresponsible one-night stands. You’re the responsible one who dates guys for seven years and then takes a break for three.”
“That happened once, in high school, and it was hardly serious. He didn’t even ask me to prom.”
“Yea, because he was a douche.”
I ignore her commentary, hugging the pillow she throws at me. “Last night didn’t feel irresponsible. It felt like the best thing in the world.”
“Ohmygod.”
“What?”
“Are you in love?”
I swallow hard. I’ve been wondering the same thing, but I can’t admit it. It’s too crazy. “I can’t be. It’s too soon. We only met a few weeks ago, and we just had sex for the first time last night.”
“And the second?” She’s fishing now.
“And maybe the third,” I say. “Like I said, awesome.”
“I need to get laid.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “Probably.”
“What happens next?” she asks. “Are you just supposed to stay a free bird while you wait for the wedding?”
My phone rings, interrupting the conversation. I look at the name. Ryan. “One second.”
She peeks at the screen then gives me a conspiratorial wink. “I want to listen. Let me listen, please.”
I roll my eyes, but I answer it in front of her. “Hello?”
“I booked your tickets,” he says. “Confirmation will be in your inbox shortly, sweetheart. I’ll see you in a month, and not a day later.”
“Okay,” I say, my heart thumping at the sound of his deep, rolling voice. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Nervous?”
“Yes,” I admit.
“Me too,” he says. “I miss you.”
In the background, I hear a woman saying Ryan’s name, louder and louder until finally, I say, “I think someone’s calling you.”
“I told you I’ll be right there,” he says, his voice carrying over a little distance as he speaks away from the phone. “Sorry, I had a meeting with my coach and Jocelyn, and we grabbed some drinks after.”
“I thought she was flying out earlier,” I say, and then realize that sounds as if I’m jealous—which I’m not. I’m definitely not jealous that she’s there, next to him, and I’m not, so I quickly add, “I mean, things must have gone well if she’s sticking around, right?”
“Great!” he says, and his voice is light and excited. “We won’t have the contracts finalized until, well, after you’re here, but it’s looking like I’ll be playing for the Lightning next year.”
“That’s great news,” I say, m
y heart soaring at the idea of him being in the same city as me. “I’m happy for you.”
Jocelyn calls for him again, and Ryan lowers his voice. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go. Jocelyn’s flight is leaving soon, and she asked if I could drop her off.”
“Okay, well, thank you again for the tickets. You didn’t have to buy them.”
“I need you there.” He says the words, but sounds distracted. “Call me tomorrow. Goodnight Peretti.”
“Night.”
Before I can ask in what exact capacity Ryan Pierce could ever need me in his life, he hangs up. It was probably a slip of the tongue, and I try to push the thoughts away.
But the thoughts persist. Maybe Ryan wants me to keep his mother off his back, or he just wants an easy hookup with no strings attached. Maybe he wants company out here until he can make real friends. As much as he made me feel wanted this morning—and last night—I can’t shake the thought that it is all so temporary.
When I work up the courage to look at Lisa, she has a gentle, almost kind look on her face. “You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”
I throw the phone on the bed and fling myself backward into the pillows. “Dammit.”
CHAPTER 35
Ryan
“You’re falling for her, aren’t you?” Jocelyn asks as we cruise toward the airport. “What’s her name?”
“Andi,” I say before I can stop myself. I can’t help it. She’s always on my mind, ever since she left my side. She’s been on my mind for days—even before she wrecked it with fantastic sex.
Then, after, when she didn’t turn all clingy and call me a hundred times on the first day, I was almost ready to propose. Even as I drive to the airport, I can’t help thinking that a girl who can make me laugh, who looks hot as hell in a stupid red polo shirt, who is ten times smarter than me and can nearly make me explode with the touch of her hand—what more could a man ever need?
I’m already hard again, wishing she were next to me.
“You told me you weren’t going to get involved.”
Jocelyn’s clipped, ice-cold tone kills the mood in my fantasies. My boner deflates faster than if I’d jumped into an ice bath.
