by Nichols, TJ
He wasn’t off the hook yet. He’d be dangling for the next year. He had to believe that he was doing the right thing and that humans could be civilized and not selfish. Maybe Angus was the only good one.
Or Angus was his father’s spy and this was all an elaborate plot.
He made his way back to his tent. The ground beneath his feet was still cool and in shadow. Later the sun would hit their tents. The lesser tribes spent the afternoon in shadow and experienced an early dark.
Saka flicked back the flap and stopped. Angus was up and dressed, but only in his pants. He was sipping water and looking at the knives that Saka vaguely remembered leaving on the table. Trekking down the mountain each night made for a very long day. Considering he’d slept most of the morning away, he couldn’t really complain. After midday they’d start the walk up.
How would Angus fare with his soft feet and delicate skin?
“You slept well?” Saka put the nut cake on the table.
“Yes.” There were faint scratches still visible on Angus’s back.
“I should make sure you are fully healed.” He had done as much as he’d dared on a sleeping patient. There was still an open wound on Angus’s arm. Saka had been concentrating on taking the heat out of Angus’s skin.
Angus glanced at him. “I’m… tired.”
“I didn’t ask for anything. But better I check it now than when you have a fever and the rot is spreading up your arm.”
“When you put it like that.” Angus walked over and held out his arm.
Both cuts needed cleaning. The deeper one should be healed fully. “You need to learn how to handle a knife.”
Angus winced. “It’s not my thing.”
“If you are going to continue to associate with demons, it would behoove you to learn how not to kill yourself or others if asked to draw blood.” He didn’t release Angus’s hand. “Bathe and eat, and then we shall talk and I shall heal the cut.”
Angus looked at him. “I know there is a chance I won’t be going home.”
“I don’t believe that. The underground will make sure you are retrieved. They are sending wizards for training, and it is something that needs to be addressed.” Angus would be fine, but it also meant he could come back with the underground.
“If I go home, I will be a known rogue warlock. My name will be on police bulletins.” Angus looked away. “I’m here because I refused to summon you so my father could kill you. He knew you were a mage. Someone here has been informing the college of what is going on.”
“That someone will also know you are still alive and participated last night.” Saka knew which mage it was. She was in a bind. Perhaps it would be best to kill her warlock, although it was useful to have mages who could report back on college activities.
“I’m screwed. I go home and I’m on Vinland’s most wanted list. I stay here and I wind up dead even if I don’t get killed.”
“No one is going to kill you.” Saka put his arm around Angus. For a moment the warlock’s body was rigid, as though he didn’t want to be touched. Had he been broken last night? Some humans wandered from their body and never came back. Others developed a fear of being touched. Even some mages struggled with what happened.
Angus sighed and leaned in, but his body was still tense. “I’m not safe until my father and the people he works for are stopped. Demonside isn’t safe. They want it dead so no one can have magic except what they have stored.”
“How are they storing it?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t exactly reveal the details of his plan before tossing me through the void. Actually I chose to walk through. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.”
Just like last night. Angus had given the blood himself and offered to join in if they’d thought him worthy. Had he been there as a human or a warlock? It was something else to consider because if the mages accepted Angus as a magic user, then he wasn’t really an apprentice. Apprentices weren’t allowed up the mountain except for when they first took their oath to learn and then again when they were tested.
“Better to make your own choices even when your hand is forced?” Saka’s hand glided over Angus’s bare back. He was out of lust, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t like the contact.
“Something like that.”
A silence formed. Saka didn’t want to be the one who broke it, but he could feel the last remains of the morning sliding away and there were things that needed to be done and conversations that needed to be had. He lingered for a little longer, not wanting to be the one who pulled away. He had missed Angus. He liked talking magic and sharing what he knew. Perhaps Guda was right and it was an apprentice that he craved.
“What is this?” Angus said finally as he drew back enough that he could meet Saka’s gaze.
“What?”
“Between us? I’ve never had a boyfriend… lover… who would quite happily watch me be with someone else. Or is there nothing and I am reading this wrong?”
“Ritual is always separate.”
The frown didn’t leave Angus’s face. “I had sex with Terrance.”
The tiniest bit of jealousy spiked in his blood. Saka didn’t like the feel of it. It was jagged and caught on every thought. That affair hadn’t been magic related.
When Saka didn’t reply, Angus pulled away. “If I’m just a means to rebalance for you, that is fine. But I want to know.”
Ah, now he saw the problem. Saka could’ve been equally wounded and cried that he was just a conduit for magic and that Angus was using him, but this wasn’t about magic as much as it was Angus feeling cut off, alone and unsure of the ground he was standing on.
“No, you are more. You are my apprentice, my friend. I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy your company. When you first came here, you opened yourself up to the experience, and I admire that. You have also saved my life by coming here instead of summoning me. We can save Demonside and your world.” With others. “We will always have a connection that no one else will have.”
“So you don’t care?”
“I care about you. Not who you are with. If you were to start getting close to another mage, we would have problems, because you are mine.”
“Except for during rituals.” Angus crossed his arms.
Saka was still not getting what Angus wanted. “Yes. If I had thought that you would be hurt or that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, I would have said something. I would have lived with that. While you are here, you are my responsibility.” As he looked at the human man, he began to wonder if he had let Angus go too far too soon. “Maybe you weren’t ready for last night.”
“I’m fine.”
“Physically. But not here.” Saka tapped his chest and then his head. “Or here.”
Angus rubbed a hand over his face, then stopped to look at his fingers. He frowned. There was dried blood around his nails. He winced as though the memory hurt, then looked at the wound on his arm. “I’m going to clean up.”
“I will wait to eat with you.”
Angus groaned. “Why do you treat me like a lover when I’m here?”
“You are my warlock, my guest, and my lover, but I don’t mind if you have human lovers. Would you be upset if I had a demon lover?”
“I don’t know….” But Angus nodded.
And that was the problem. “Humans only have one at a time.”
“Yes.”
Saka thought for a moment. “Well, you have one in Demonside and another across the void. When I get another lover, they will not mind that I also have a human lover. With more mages taking on underground wizards, it will become something that has to be adapted to. It’s not a normal teacher-apprentice relationship.”
“What is normal?”
“When you are here, that is normal. We eat together, talk. Everything is a possible teaching moment. There are no set lessons or times. Those who want to learn sex magic need to practice.” Saka smiled. “An apprentice may be tested when it is agreed they are read
y. You will have to get used to living on both sides of the void if you want to study magic here.”
“You are assuming I am going home.” Angus walked out of the tent.
For a moment Saka was tempted to go after him to show him where the showers were, but he didn’t. Angus could ask for directions. He needed to be able to make his way around the tribe’s area without getting lost like a child that should still be living on Lifeblood Mountain. More importantly the tribe needed to see Angus as someone with standing despite being human.
The keeping of human slaves wouldn’t help that change in perspective.
One human was valuable and the other was something to be used. How should they differentiate?
Another point to ponder.
It was three days later when the underground opened up the void. Saka had been spending the morning teaching Angus how to use a knife safely—there was a long way to go—and also a bit more about the history of Demonside and warlocks from the demons’ point of view. They had also been walking along the rivers, watching, and encouraging the growth. There was no point in wasting the blood spilled during knife training.
The mages allowed Angus up the mountain to watch the testing and initiation of new mages. He’d managed the walk without trouble. On the surface Angus seemed fine, but there was still something lurking beneath. It was there when they were in bed, when they kissed.
He’d also started holding back, as though he were afraid of making mistakes. That was never a good thing. Better to make the mistake and learn.
Saka paused. They had been heading back to the tribe to get ready for the trek up Lifeblood, but Guda was coming toward them.
Saka started walking a little quicker, and Angus followed. He bowed when he reached his old teacher. “You’ve come a long way.”
“I was told you were out here.” Her mouth opened in a smile. “This is how I remember Demonside as a child.”
“You always said to not to waste an offering.” That was even more true. Everything that could be gained out of a single drop had to be poured back into Demonside. It was also pleasant to sit under trees and watch them grow as Angus learned. There was the added important point of being seen.
Angus hung back, as though he wasn’t sure he should be part of the conversation.
“Step forward, warlock. Do not hide behind your demon,” Guda said with concern in her voice.
“Sorry.” Angus took a few steps forward.
Guda fixed Saka with such a glare he felt like he’d made a major mistake. Guda put her hand on Angus’s shoulder and led him far enough away that, while Saka had no idea what they were saying, he knew it was about him. Did Guda think he was hurting Angus?
Saka was horrified at the idea. Did everyone see the warlock’s melancholy and blame him?
Guda laughed, and Angus gave her a fragile smile. It was the first one Saka had seen in days. She beckoned Saka to join them—he knew there would be words later.
“I have been in contact with the underground. Terrance reported Angus missing almost straight away. Ellis needed to be very careful about what she did next. Since we have been talking about the trainees—that’s what the underground is calling them—I also let her know that Angus was with us and very much alive. You can go home tomorrow if you want. They will be opening the void at dawn, and ten wizards are going to get mages.”
“Have you worked out how to get them home when they are scattered?” Saka was really asking on Angus’s behalf.
“No. We may have to leave ten mages here. More debate tonight.” She lifted her hands as though she was over it already. Saka knew she loved the debates.
Both demons turned to Angus. It would probably be best if he went home. His heart wasn’t in it at the moment. But he had no home anymore. He was a hunted outcast.
Angus looked at his toes as they dug into the sand. “I don’t know… I like seeing the magic and learning. I want to learn how to heal… I’ve always wanted that.”
“You cannot rush learning,” Guda said.
“You can always come back.” Saka smiled. Angus didn’t return it. There was that something.
“You want me gone.” Angus looked down.
“Do you want to be here? I can feel something isn’t right.” Saka couldn’t fix whatever was going on. Angus had to work through it.
“I want to be here, but people watch me. They are waiting for me to make a mistake. I don’t want to embarrass you. I’ve heard how hard you pushed to stop the bloodshed. I also know you voted for human slaves.”
“Almost everyone did. We had to, or we would all be dead before the next gathering. That is how desperate things are.” Saka thought that they had been around this argument already. It wasn’t ideal, but it was a temporary solution.
“The humans will be well looked after. Either the underground or the college gave them to us. We haven’t taken any.” Guda’s voice was level and firm.
“I know. But you are keeping them like, like cattle for blood and soul but also for sex.” He grimaced and half turned away. Then he shook his head. “What would you say… the idea isn’t ready to be shared? I shouldn’t have said anything until I had the words?”
Saka wanted to reach out but didn’t. Angus didn’t need to say anymore. He understood what the problem was. And why Angus had been so withdrawn. He’d been attending the meetings on Lifeblood and hearing the inner workings of the tribes as they talked about humans for the most part, as if they were an annoyance or something to study. Some mages had volunteered to teach to satisfy their own curiosity.
“You think your position can change in a blink, and you are unsure of your status. That is my fault for not making it clear.” Saka glanced at Guda, but she was staying silent. This was his mess to fix; the teacher never stopped learning.
“You, and any warlock or wizard training with us, would be considered an apprentice. Here, becoming a mage isn’t something to take lightly as it means always putting the tribe first. I volunteered to get a warlock because of the strife Demonside was in. I knew the dangers. But I got you, someone who saw and understood. Who knew already that something wasn’t right. Your use of magic gives you status, and no one can take that away.” He put his hand on Angus’s lower back. “You are more than blood or sex. You are a friend.”
“I want to believe that… and I know we have to work together. I like working together. Is that wrong that I like it?” Angus was frowning. He’d gained more freckles since living here, but he’d also changed. There was a hardness in his eyes that had been missing the first time they’d met.
“No. It would be wrong if you didn’t and yet I made you participate. That is why demons have specialties. Did you notice that not all had sex? Many won’t kill. I don’t like to.”
“But you do.”
Saka nodded. “I have done. And will do it again. Until the magic is rebalanced, there will be more death. There will be blood rituals based on fear, not desire. I choose not to be part of them. But that is the fate of those sent to us.”
“I was sent to you by the college.” Angus’s voice was flat.
Saka stepped back as he realized the full implication of those few words. “That is a very good point.” He turned to Guda. “We need to evaluate the people who get sent to us by the college, who we take as slaves.”
“Some are criminals,” she cautioned.
“I am a criminal in the eyes of the college,” Angus said.
Saka was silent for a moment. They had always taken the humans sent across without asking because they needed to rebalance. “We will have to raise it tonight.”
“I concur. Thank you for raising the issue, Angus. You see the human nuance we don’t.” Guda inclined her head. With every passing day, Angus was gaining respect from the other demons. In part that was because of his unflinching resolve to be part of the rituals, not as a victim but as a warlock… a mage.
Angus managed another weak smile. “I want to go home, but I also want to stay.”
�
�I would like you to stay.” He liked having Angus around, but he knew this wasn’t the warlock’s home. It couldn’t be. Demonside would slowly drain him.
“Go home for the day, but be back by dusk so you don’t miss a meeting. Then you can go home with the underground trainees after their first six days of training,” Guda suggested.
Saka hoped Angus would come back.
Angus nodded. “I’ll do that. But I don’t know what I’m going home to.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Angus had spent the rest of the day with Saka. While his future was uncertain, he felt more settled. His place in Demonside wasn’t as precarious as he’d thought. When they were alone, when Saka was explaining some detail of demon culture that Angus had overlooked or hadn’t realized had so much meaning, there were the little touches again. They had stopped after the orgy.
But perhaps that had been because he had pulled away. Unsure about his own feelings about that night.
He was still a little unsure.
He had feelings for Saka that he wasn’t sure he could voice or that could be returned. People didn’t marry and make families here. Yet there seemed to be couples. And Saka had plainly said that ritual was a separate thing. He probably shouldn’t feel anything at all for Saka, but it was hard when Saka was smiling at him and they were sharing a bed. Had he ever been so close to anyone?
Angus had spent most of the night on Lifeblood mulling over his own thoughts and dilemmas, not really listening to the mages speak. Watching an apprentice fail had been shocking. And more than a little terrifying. That could be him, eventually. He’d leaned forward, wondering what would happen to the apprentice mage.
He wasn’t the only person to be shocked. Many of the mages were equally stunned. Then the teacher had apologized for failing the student.
Angus couldn’t imagine one of his warlock lecturers ever doing that. They didn’t even like to be questioned.
Mages seemed to like being questioned. They liked debating, even if no agreement was reached. The sharing of knowledge and skills was prized. It was why he was sitting here. He knew he’d have failed any test they gave him. He wasn’t worthy to be in the circle, so he sat outside it, answering questions thrown his way about the way humans used magic or the way they lived or whatever random thing they deemed it necessary to know.
