Pinkie winced, but only for a moment; he was laughing too much for anything else.
Chapter 17
No More Wood Chucked By Semfeld’s Beaver
Because It Don’t Chuck, Won’t Chuck, Wood
The beaver snorted again. Then sat on its hind, leather tail slapping the ground hard. The other beavers slapped their tails on the ground as well.
“Well, I don’t like the sound of that,” said Liverioso. “Not at all.”
“What’s gotten into you?” Semfeld asked. “You want to go back to being boards?” He threatened them, “Is that what you want?”
The lead beaver slapped his tail again. Angrily.
“Well, that’s not very helpful,” said Chéri. “Can’t you ask it why it’s upset?”
“Who cares why it’s upset?” Semfeld turned to look at the Gnomess. “They were conjured to cut wood, not be upset.” He gestured to where the beaver were all sitting. “That’s what they’re here to do.”
“Well, it seems that they’re upset and if you asked them, then maybe you can figure out how to get them back to work.”
“Fine, Chéri. Fine.” Semfeld drew his wand. “I’ll ask them.” He turned to face the beaver. He thought for a moment then raised his wand.
Beaver to the left of me
Beaver to the right.
And here I am, stuck in the middle;
with boards too few.
So we’ll get you conversing,
To see why none of you are working.
Castoridae Castor!
Cantante la Lingua Common.
Por favor?
He intoned.
He waved the wand over the half-dozen of them.
“Nice, Semfeld. Except...” Began Liverioso.
Semfeld waved his hand at Liverioso to quiet him and stowed his wand with the other. “All right you wood chewing rodents. What gives?”
The beaver all huddled in a circle as they had a quick discussion.
“Sem?”
Liverioso waved his hand at his partner to silence him again.
After a short moment, the beaver all turned to face the magician.
“Well?” Liverioso asked.
“We quit,” said the lead beaver. They all turned and walked into the debris that was Aution.
“What?”
“That’s what I wath trying to tell you, Sem. You forgot to remind them that you were their math-ter when you redid the enchantment.”
“Beaver chips,” cursed Semfeld. “If they even make chips.”
“I think they do,” said Chéri, trying to be helpful.
“Good,” said Semfeld. “In that case- steaming piles of beaver chips.”
Chapter 18
Home Again, Home Again In a Stinkedy Rig
“Well, I think we should load what we have and go back to town,” Liverioso pointed at the pile. “There’s a pretty good amount of it and maybe we can grab some other stuff too. This is a good haul for the first day.”
Chéri nodded. “I agree. We should take what we have and when we come back, bring some tools.”
“I say we not tell anyone we forgot the tools.”
“I’m with Themfeld,” said Liverioso.
“No arguments from me.” Chéri moved to a board. “Want to get the other end, Sem?”
Semfeld jogged over. “Sure thing.”
“I’ll see if there’s anything that I can drag over that’s worth taking,” said Liverioso, “while you two load the wood”.
Liverioso moved behind the now-destroyed building and looked around. It seemed as if the fire was diverted around a half-block area in this part of Aution, creating an eerie island of intact buildings surrounded by charred destruction. As he moved around the edge of the building, an outhouse caught his eye. We’ll need one of them, I suppose. He moved to it and tested how well it was anchored to the ground. After a couple of pushes, he was able to rock it significantly. Putting his back into it, he rocked it further and further until it finally reached the tipping point. He was pleased to see it landed on its side and remained intact. Carefully avoiding the seat and accompanying hole, he dragged the entire structure to an open area. “Nicely done, Astounding Liverioso.” [7]
He returned to the spot where the outhouse was and surveyed the area. He spotted another outhouse. “Well, they’re easy to move, I guess.” With a shrug, he moved to it and shoved it over in the same way as the first. He dragged it beside the other one. “Ours and theirs.” He dusted his hands off on his breeches.
With nothing else looking small enough for him to handle on his own, he dragged the first outhouse back to the wagons. When he got there, Semfeld and Chéri had two wagons completely loaded and the third about half way. There were only a few boards left. “Thath’s a pretty good amount of wood,” he remarked as he looked over his shoulder, dragging the outhouse as he walked backward.
“What’ve you got there, Liv?” Chéri asked as she dropped her end of the board. “Is that what I think it is?”
“Well, if you think ith’s one outhouse, you’re wrong,” he said.
“I don’t see how I could be wrong.”
Liverioso stopped dragging the structure and turned around. “I’ve got two!”
Chéri scrunched up her nose. “You are at the end of this wagon train on the way back to town.”
Liverioso looked from the outhouse to the Assassin and back. “Okay I thuppose.” He turned and dragged the outhouse the last few feet to the wagon. “If you load that one, I’ll drag the other back.” He rubbed his hands together. “What a great haul for one day.”
“I get the top end,” Chéri said quickly.
Semfeld frowned. He was getting ready to say the same thing. “Fine.” He smiled. “On this one!”
“Sure,” agreed Chéri, “since Liverioso is helping load the other”.
“What?”
“That’s called a female’s prerogative.”
“I don’t think that’s what it’s for.”
Chéri shook her head. “Oh, it works for all manner of things.”
Semfeld frowned. He was pretty sure it didn’t, but since he hadn’t been in a relationship in quite a while, the rules may have actually changed. “Fine.”
By the time they had the outhouse loaded, Liverioso was back with the other.
“I’ll get the top,” Semfeld said quickly.
“Whath?”
“I got the bottom on the last one. Fair is fair.”
Liverioso shrugged. “All right then, I guess.”
Chéri moved to the front of her wagon to make sure she wasn’t involved in loading. Truth be told, the outhouses didn’t really stink. Not really. Sort of. Well... She breathed in through her nose and gagged. “Maybe we should water wand those things before setting them up someplace,” she suggested.
Liverioso was holding his breath so he only nodded.
After positioning the outhouse on the wagon, Semfeld frowned. “Rope. Rope as well as tools.”
Liverioso nodded. “Maybe we should make a list.”
“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll make one up this evening. Rope and tools will be at the top of the list.”
“And maybe a crossbow in case we run into other people,” asked Semfeld.
“That couldn’t hurt.” Chéri said. “We’ll have to go slow since nothing is tied down.”
“Think those brothers’d loan us some rope?” Asked Semfeld as he too mounted his wagon.
“I thay we avoid them as much as possible,” offered Liverioso as he clambered on his wagon. “Lead the way.” He gestured towards Julesville. “And I’ll follow behind.”
A long three and a half hours later
The trio reached Julesville and headed towards the livery stable.
“Finally. I think I’m through picking up and restacking boards for the day,” said an exhausted Chéri. “Rope. Rope. ROPE.”
“I agree completely.” Semfeld looked at the blisters on his hands. “And I think gloves shou
ld be added to that list of yours, Chéri.”
Chéri nodded. “Gloves; got it.”
After another few minutes, they rode into the fenced area of the livery stable. “We’ll take care of the wagons, Chéri,” offered Semfeld. “I’m sure we can find a place to pile up our wood until we’re ready to build.”
“Great. I think I’m going to get into a hot bath.” Chéri hopped off the wagon, exhausted. “What a day.” She smiled. “Killing people is so much less tiring, you know?”
“No,” admitted Semfeld as he got down from his wagon. “I didn’t know that.”
“Me either.” Liverioso hopped down from his wagon.
“Well, it’s nothing a good bath can’t fix, I don’t think.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Semfeld put his hand on his back. “A nice hot bath.”
“Maybe I’ll get Colossus to get me a drink or two and join me while I soak,” Chéri said with a wave.
Semfeld and Liverioso looked at each other, a little let down that they had no one to get cleaned up for. Or with.
“Well, let’s see what we can do about getting this wood stored so we can add to it later.”
“And get a place of our own thooner instead of later.” With a nod to his partner, Liverioso joined him as they went into the livery stable to secure some storage space.
It took another hour of hard work to stack the wood, making two roughly equal piles against the back of the barn- one for them and one for Chéri.
Afterwards, they cleaned up and decided to go to the Mora Tau for dinner. And company. Thanks to an extension of credit from an understanding PalmerLee.
Chapter 19
Thievery 101
Big Julie sat at her desk grading papers. She often helped at the end of semesters with the grading of the longer term papers the students were required to write, leaving the instructors with more time to conduct the practical exercises of magic and oral presentations. A knock on the door made her look up from the current paper she was reading ‘Peak What’s This? Reached! How to make magic using the sun and wind’ She was glad for the knock. “Yes?”
The door opened and Garibaldis peeked into the room. “Have a moment?”
“Always.” She smiled at the magician. “Come on in.” She gestured at the stacks of papers on her desk. “The break would be nice.”
Garibaldis moved to one of the two chairs and sat. “So… which is the done pile?”
Julie pointed at the smallest stack. “Unfortunately it’s this one.”
Garibaldis laughed.
“So no sympathy then?”
“Well, maybe a little, Julie.” Garibaldis continued to smile.
“So to what do I owe the pleasure?” Truth be told, if a certain strapping carpenter had not entered her life, Julie was seriously thinking of making a move on the magician at one of the many dances or sporting events the school held. He was tall enough that she didn’t have to look down to speak with him, and being well spoken and quite good-looking (once he had put on a little weight and had trimmed his hair and beard) had him on a very short list of eligible bachelors in town.
Garibaldis’ smile straightened and then dropped into a frown. “It’s happened again.”
Julie also developed a frown. “Stinking, lousy. How many this time?”
“Four that showed up for the levitation seminar I was holding up in the attic,” he pointed at the ceiling. “I just have no idea how they’re disappearing. I mean, there’s one way in and one way out from up there and I know all my students.”
Julie scowled. Over the course of the past four months, the school had been experiencing a crime-wave of epic proportions. But only of wands. “What’s that make it for the week, Gary?”
Garibaldis shook his head. Since the incident had been identified by teachers as more than just careless students, he had been unofficially put in charge of finding the culprit. With no success. “That makes ten this week. And twenty eight on the month. It’s getting worse.”
Julie stood up and paced behind her desk.
“We need to do something, Julie. Call in some professional help. Something. We can’t just afford to keep replacing these wands on our own and at some point, a student is going to tell their parents they’re on their third wand, and then all Niflheim will break loose.”
Julie stopped and placed her hands on the back of her chair. She leaned forward. “I know Gary, I know. I was just hoping the problem would solve itself.”
Garibaldis fought furiously to maintain eye contact with Julie as she leaned forward. Truth be told, had a certain massive carpenter not shown up in town, he was planning on asking her to join him at the next dance. With maybe a nice dinner afterwards. “Well it hasn’t and I don’t think another assembly is going to solve it.” He thought back to the last school-wide assembly in the fighting hall. He had spoken for almost thirty minutes, with Julie following him up with another thirty, both extolling the virtues of honesty and thinking of the school as a family that looked out for each other. It was discovered that after the meeting, another six wands had been stolen from the students in attendance. “We need to bring in some outside help, I think.”
Julie came around her chair and flopped back into it. “I know. I should have done that two months ago.” She frowned again. “I just hate airing dirty laundry.” She smiled at the man. “To outsiders, anyway.”
Garibaldis nodded. “I agree, but these are dire circumstances. I suggest we see if Akita has a way of handling the problem discretely.”
Big Julie raised an eyebrow.
“Well, as discretely as a Werewolf can be, I suppose.”
Julie leaned forward and put her head in her hands.
Garibaldis stole a quick glance. “There really isn’t any other alter…” He was interrupted by a loud knocking on the door.
They both turned to look at the door. The knocking continued.
Julie shook her head. “Come in Grimbledung”. Of all the people who came to visit her, everyone knocked several times then waited patiently. Grimbledung just started knocking and continued knocking until she invited him in. Once she had let him do it while she counted slowly to a hundred and he still didn’t change the tempo or hardness of his knocking. About two a second was what it seemed to be.
Grimbledung opened the door and peeked around it. “Ya busy, Julie?”
Julie shrugged. From past experience she knew that even if her answer was ‘extremely’, he would still come in. “Not more than usual, I suppose. Come on in.”
Grimbledung smiled as he entered the office. As he always did, he didn’t shut the door behind him. “Garibaldis, how are you? I haven’t seen you around lately.” He extended his hand to the man. “Where’ve you been?”
Garibaldis shook the Gnome’s hand. “I’ve been around. Usually in the background without much to say with regards to recent events,” he said in an accusatory manner. “Tending to the school behind the scenes, I suppose.”[8]
“Sounds great, Garibaldis.” Grimbledung smiled as he hopped onto the seat. He looked at Julie then Garibaldis. Then smiled again.
After a long moment, Julie broke the silence: “What brings you around, Grim?”
Grimbledung snapped his fingers. “Right! I was coming by because…” He frowned. He knew there was something that brought him to Big Julie, but for the moment he had no idea. “Hmm…” He looked around the office.
After another long moment, Garibaldis tried: “Is there another attack that we should know about?”
Grimbledung snapped his fingers. “No, that’s not it, but now I remember.” He smiled broadly. “I remember now.”
“And it was…” Coaxed Julie.
“That assassin that the Halflings sent to kill me and Drim.”
Julie had had plenty of experience with this sort of conversation with Grimbledung. “She is…”
“She is back in town and is joined up with Colossus the Halfling. They’re shacking up at The Duck Inn and Dine.”
&nb
sp; “Nulu is letting them stay together at her place?” Garibaldis leaned back in his chair. “Really?”
“Well, who are we to decide who should be together?” Said Grimbledung, “Honestly, if those two want to be together, I don’t see where it’s any business of ours if that’s what they want to do.” He shook his head. “That’s some narrow-minded thinking from someone who’s supposed to be all educated and stuff.” He squinted his eyes at the magician. “Honestly.”
“Grim, I think he meant that having an assassin who is trying to kill two of her friends, and a Halfling who would be fine with helping out any way he could, together in one place, doesn’t sound like a good idea.”
“Yes, that’s what I meant,” Garibaldis said defensively.
“Well, then that’s fine.” Grimbledung smiled at the magician. “Fine to hear.”
Garibaldis exhaled loudly. Taking a cue from Julie, he offered, “So they’re staying at the inn…”
“Right!” Grimbledung leaned forward in the chair. “They’re staying at the inn and they’ve made amends with us all and are really just trying to start over since the war is over.”
“Well, that’s a good thing, I suppose. What are they pla…” Began Garibaldis.
“Oh, speaking of wands,” said Grimbledung.
Both Julie and Garibaldis stared at each other, wide-eyed. “Who said anything about wands?” Offered Julie.
“Yes, who said anything about wands?”
“Well, I did of course. Just now. Aren’t you two listening?” Grimbledung leaned back in his chair. “Honestly.”
“Wands…”
Grimbledung nodded at the magician. “Them two magician guild enforcers that I transported to that hidey-hole you were in, in the desert came back with her. The one without the lisp has your wand still.”
“Really?” Now Garibaldis leaned forward in his chair. “That is interesting news.”
“Oh! Speaking of wands…”
Neither Garibaldis nor Julie took the bait.
A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4) Page 11
