“Nothing comes to mind,” I lie.
“Very well then. Off you go,” he says as his ears start flapping again.
Still...
After a moment’s consideration I give him: “Well, I’m off to school then.” I give him a stern nod. “To solve this mystery once and for all. Tomorrow I’ll be back tending wand sales.”
He gives me a nod like he doesn’t believe me.
I make my way to the school on my own. But since I’m keeping an eye out for Mister Kicks, I move my apple to the same hand that has my wand sheath. If he shows up, he’s the one that will get a kick. A magical one. That will send him to his grave. Here’s hoping.
No such luck.
I make my way to the same class I was in earlier. Kids are still milling about so I’m not late this time. Nice. No one’s in the seat by the little dame so I put my apple there. Garibaldis is out front of the class. ‘On stage’, I guess it’s called. Time to get an ally. If you’re going to get cornered, you always want someone in that corner with you. Garibaldis is a good fit for a minion. Maybe if he plays his cards right, I’ll make him a lackey by the end of the day. “Hey Garibaldis,” I say as I approach.
“Mister Noir. It’s nice to see you are up and about after yesterday’s excitement,” he says. “Notice I tossed a ‘mister’ at the front of that.” He puts his hands on his hips. Do all adults do that to kids? Annoying. “And I’m not even a student talking to a professor.” He adds.
That’s right; I’m under cover. I give him a nod and wink. “Relax Garibaldis.” I motion with my finger for him to get closer. He does. Definitely henchman material. “It’s Grimbledung,” I whisper when he’s near. “I’m under cover for Julie looking for the wand thief. Only Akita and Drim and Julie are in on it. Now you are too.”
Now he’s laughing. Real loud like. The other kids are looking. He’s gonna blow my cover. Maybe he’ll just stay a nameless minion after all. I start laughing too, hoping that no one gets suspicious. Thieves do that. “That’s a good one Professor!” I guffaw. “A first class riot.”
He recovers enough to wipe a tear from his eye. Then he gets serious as he drops back down to my level. “Sorry, Grimbledung. You just caught me off guard is all.”
“Yeah. That’s what that looked like to me.”
He looks around all suspicious like. “Got any suspects?” Back in the running for henchman. Maybe even lackey.
I shake my head. “No. I’m hoping to have some by the end of the day though. If I need some muscle, can I count on you?”
He gives me a nod as he stands up. “Sure, Mister Noir. You know you can always count on me.” He gives me a wink.
Garibaldis- Confidant. Muscle. Lackey. I’ll have it put on a card, I think. “Thanks Mister Garibaldis,” I give him as I move to my seat. That little redheaded dame is there. She’s got a big smile plastered on her face. Now what?
“I’m glad to see you’re ok, Grim Noir,” she says to me. There’s something in her eyes I think because she’s batting her eyelashes like he’s trying to get her head to take off. “That was sure exciting.”
“That’s me; Mister Exciting.” I give her hand a pat. “It’s all under control now, doll.”
Dolls.
Now she’s breathing hard. There’s no telling what.... Then I get it- this Dame’s got the scorchers for me. Who can blame her, really? Normally, a Dame wanting to give me the time of day would make my time of day. But this gal’s young. Low double digits young. Young with a capital whatever young starts with. Maybe I can redirect her attention. “So what’s cooking, Red?” I point at the stuff on the table.
Her eyelashes stop trying to make her head fly. Now she’s staring straight at me all serious like. “Amaryllis.”
“Amaryllis is cooking? What’s that?” I take a look at the vials on the table. There’s a bunch of them today but none that look like that one from yesterday. There’s plenty of garnish too. “That some kind of plant?”
“It’s a flower actually.” She scoots her stool closer to me. “It’s also called Belladonna Lily” Another scoot. “And sometimes Naked Ladies.”
“Well, what’re we doing with that?”
Another scoot and our stools are touching.
Uh oh!
“Whatever. You Want.”
UH OH!
“Now listen Amaryllis,” I say. This’ll get me locked up faster than the time I... Now she’s on my stool! “We need to...” I start when all of a sudden Garibaldis is on top of me.
“Mister Noir,” he says as if I’m the one on someone else’s stool. “What is going on here?” There’s giggles all around. None are coming from me though. Or Garibaldis.
“Nothing. Nothing at all, Professor.” I point at the potions. “We were discussing the potions and the subject of Naked Ladies came up.”
The giggles stop. Gasps replace them. Garibaldis still has a frown plastered around his face.
Here we go. “All I’m doing is sitting here minding my own business, doing nothing to nobody when all of a sudden this Dame in the making here,” I give a point just in case he’s not on track, “decides she needs to be using my stool”.
“Dame?”
I nod at Garibaldis. “Dame. Doll. Skirt. Dish.” I point at the gal. “She’s one of them when she reaches triple digits.”
“Well, I never!” lies the Dame-to-be.
“That’s not what you said a little ago,” I remind her.
Everyone’s quiet for a little bit. Finally Garibaldis breaks through: “Well, let’s get back to our instructions on reducing potions, shall we?”
He moves back up to the front of the class and starts talking again. About something. The pre-Doll is still on my stool. “Do ya mind?”
“Not if you don’t,” she says. Bonkers this one. Bucked off her rocking horse.
“Yeah. I...” Then a thought comes to me- I could use a Moll. I’m on the verge of a network all of a sudden. “Don’t mind at all,” I finish. She’s picking up vials and mixing them as the professor talks. I start to do what she does. Mostly. Maybe there’s a step here and there I’m missing, but I’m not here to learn. I’m undercover. “So wha’d’ya know about the missing wands?” I whisper as I put some sort of red leaf in my vial like she did. The stuff in her vial turns blue. Mine gives off a little puff of smoke that I swear looks like a skull before it blows away. Same thing, I think.
“Want me to tell you out behind the bleachers during lunch?”
I wonder if she has an older sister. “Right now’s fine. I’m gonna be busy during lunch, I think.”
She gives a little pout that if I were her age would have me meeting her wherever she wanted- even the top of an erupting volcano tended by Lava Golems. Maybe she’s got a mother. That’ll be my next investigation. She’s saying something all of a sudden.
“What was that?” I whisper. Garibaldis gives me a look. I wink at him as he picks up some other vial. Something about it being a fixative. I’m a fixer too. I’m going to fix this wand problem then see if the saying ‘the turnip doesn’t grow far from the stalk’ is true about her mother. She’s talking. Again.
“I said I don’t have any idea,” she whispers as she puts her thumb over the vial and gives it a good shake. “I just got a wand for my birthday but I’m not taking any wand classes this year. Mom says there’re a lazy way to go and I need to be serious about my studies.”
Wait, what? “Wait, what?” I say since she probably can’t hear my inner monologue.
She leans in close, nose brushing my ear. “I don’t know anything about wands. Mom says they are a lazy way to go.”
Now I’m on to something! Oh yeah, there’s that mother I was going to look into. “Mother huh? You got a mother?”
She gives me a funny look. “Most everyone does.”
“Sure, sure,” I agree with Amaryllis. “I had two, in fact.” I look left and right. Everyone’s working. This place is a dead end. I lean in close to her. “If you hear anything about wan
ds, let me know.”
She gives me a nod as I raise my hand. Garibaldis gives me a look. “Gotta use the lavatory, Professor,” I toss at him. I add a wink to make sure he catches it.
He does.
“Off with you then, Mister Noir.” Then he’s back to talking about not drinking the potion on an empty stomach before swimming for half an hour. Or something.
I hop off my stool, and make my way to the door. When I get there, I realize I still have my vial in my hand. Maybe a properly made reduction potion will come in handy, I think. Looking around, I spy a cork on a table near a kid. I figure he’s not using it because it’s on the table instead of in his vial. He’s putting that red leaf in his. I scoot over and grab the cork as he’s shaking his potion.
I open the door a little and slide out nice and easy like. The hallway’s got a few kids moving here and there. ‘Free period’ is what it’s called. That’s something I think I’ll take back to the shoppe with me. Free periods. Nice. I figure that I need to talk to some more kids to see if I can get more people into my network. Soon, I’ll have the entire place locked down. That wand thief is as good as caught.
As I make my way to the reading area in the center of the windmill, I hear some voices. Kid voices. Just what I’m looking for. Now my investigation is moving along nice and easy like. I slip the potion into my pocket as I round the corner.
There’re four of them. No, five. There’s a Halfling in the middle of them. A familiar looking Halfling. Probably a group of pals shooting the breeze during free period. I stop to listen.
“Yeah, mister tough guy. What do you got to say now, Walker?” The Halfling gets a shove from a mean looking Dwarf.
“What’s wrong, Skies? Lose all your starch now that you don’t have your crazy father around?” This is from another Dwarf.
He’s not friendly looking either. He might be the other’s twin brother. It’s always hard to tell with Dwarves. These pals sure seem to like to dish out good-natured ribbing. Maybe I can get them to help me solve my case. At no cost to me, that is. I step around the corner as a lanky Human is poking his friend in the chest.
“Got nothing to say now, Skies? Now that your unstable low-ranking corporal of a dad is dead?”
That’s where I know the Halfling from- it’s Corporal Gigantus’ kid that I beat to that seat that was rightfully mine!
“Who’s your daddy now, Skies?” adds the last in the group - an Elf. “I’ll be your daddy!” He punches the Halfling in the chest.
This group must be a real tight-knit group.
“Be quiet!” Little Skies says back as the Dwarf brothers shove him back toward the Elf. The Elf balls up his fist.
Kids. They’re so cute at this age. So am I. I figure I’ll join in and get accepted by this group. After all, what group doesn’t want a good-looking Gnome in it? None that I can think of. “No, Skies Walker. I am your father,” I say to him.
“Noooo!” He shouts as he tries to push out of the circle. Circle of friendship, I think it is.
“Okay, no. I can’t back that up. But it’s the thought that counts, right?”
“No, not really!” This time he makes his way past the Human and sprints down the hall.
“That was fun,” I say to the four. “So...” I put my hands on my hips. Kids do that, I think. Or maybe it’s adults. Someone does it, I’m sure.
“What you think you’re doing?” Asks a Dwarf brother.
“Letting him run off like that?” Finished the other Dwarf brother.
How romantic; they finish each other’s sentences. Might as well be Dames. I wonder if they know that. There’s only one way to tell: “How romantic; you finish each other’s sentences. Might as well be Dames.”
That balled up fist that Elf had put together earlier comes into view. Real close view.
Kids.
I duck as his fist goes over my head. It catches one of the Dwarf boys’ noses. Not sure which because they’re behind me. He lets out a yelp. His brother doesn’t follow suit. Odd.
“What’d you hit him for?” I ask the Elf. “Elves are sure unstable. No matter what size they are.” I lick my finger and run it down his cheek. Elves hate that.
“Ewwww!” Says the Elf as he steps back.
See?
“What’s going on here?” Says a familiar voice. Sounds like Big Julie. I look over. It’s her. That’s why I’m a detective.
“We’re just having a talk,” I say. Because we were. I leave off the ‘Big Julie’ even though she is because I’m undercover. I’m professional that way. I do let my eyes do a full circuit of her- she’s in a long summer dress with Moonshine Yarrows all over it. It’s cinched up tight at the waist with this thick leather belt, and it looks like ‘the girls’ are working on making a surprise appearance. I take a second look in case they do. I’m professional that way .
“Mister Noir. Can I have your attention please?”
I tear my eyes up to Julie’s face. There’s a raised eyebrow on one side of it. “Oh, you got it all right.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Yeah?” She says back.
I waggle my ears. “Yeah!”
“No.”
The kids are looking back at our entendre-filled exchange. Clueless.
“Don’t you fine young men have someplace to be?”
I look at the group. She must mean me. “You must mean me.” I give her a nod. “I got someplace to be.” I try to maintain eye contact with her as I move past, but I don’t quite make it. Professional or not, we investigators got our limits, you know.
“And you gentlemen?” I hear her said to the four youths as I move around the corner. My stomach gives a little grumble at me. “Thanks. Maybe I’ll get a snack,” I say to it. I fish the apple out of my pocket. It’s a little dented in on one side. Not the best of snacks. My stomach does that thing where it gurgles. “Well, let’s go see what’s cooking at the cafeteria,” I offer. “It’s better than a battered apple, I’m sure.”
With a nod to my belly, I make my way to the front doors and out them. There’s kids wandering here and there. I start towards the cafeteria like a bunch of other kids are doing when someone bumps my shoulder. In a hard but yet friendly kind of way. I’m sure it’s friendly because I’ve had plenty of the unfriendly bumps and they’re pretty easy to tell apart.
“Hey you!”
“Amaryllis, shouldn’t you be in class?”
“I’m on a free period this period. Are you on a free period this period? You know, it’s like fate that we both have free periods right now. We should spend our free period toge...”
I stop listening to Amaryllis. There’s clouds in the sky and an apple to be eaten. So I have at them.
Chapter 40.5
Grim Noir – The Case of the Missing Wands!
(Day Two) - Lunch
“... better to spend a free period with someone else,” says Amaryllis when I get to the cafeteria doors.
DAMES! I pop the apple core in my mouth. “If you’re going to be a wet rag...” I say around it.
“A what?”
“Wet rag. Drip. Party pooper,” I try. I’ve only got so many synonyms in me; I’d hate to waste them all at once.
She puts out her lower lip again.
“So that Mom you mentioned earlier...” I say as I hold the door open for her. Yeah, I’m a professional.
She claps her hands as she moves through the doors. With a suspicious look around, I follower her in.
The place is a madhouse like the last time I was there with Drimblerod. When that Skies kid tried to steal my seat and we ended up running from his unstable father for no reason whatsoever. At least that’s how I remember it.
“Where’re we going to sit?” Amaryllis says to me. “How about a quiet corner?” Her eyelashes bat together all innocent like. Except there’s nothing innocent with this girl. She’s a professional too, I think.
“How about along the edge of one table so that I can keep a
n eye on things.”
“What do you need to keep an eye on?”
“Things. I just said that.” I point at the end of a table where there are a few spaces open. “Over there even.”
She gives a nod, grabs my hand, and drags me there. Like a panther dragging a meal into its lair.
We sit down and I raise my hand over my head and give it a wave. There’s got to be a Gnoll nearby. I look up and realize my hand isn’t even near to being above the heads of the kids around me. “Rolton chips,” I say.
“What? I don’t think you’re supposed to eat those.”
Dolls. I climb up on the table, kicking a glass just for fun on my way up, and have a look around. It looks like there’s a Gnoll just a table away. Maybe Bonk. Or Clash. There’s no telling. “Hey!” I give him a shout and a wave.
He looks over my way.
I give another wave and point to where I’m going to be sitting. “Over here, you!”
He puts his hands on his hips.
Adults.
I clamber back down and sit on the bench. Amaryllis is talking up the three mooks at our end of the table. Keeping her options open, probably.
“What’re you having?” I say to the mook across from me. He’s a youngish looking Human- it’s always hard to tell with the shorter-lived races. I mean, I’m a Gnome kid who’s got a few years in double digits. This kid is barely even in double digits. Humans.
“I’m having a snack,” he says back to me. He puts his hands under the table then he smiles real wide. “Wanna see what I got?”
“Yeah!”
I give Amaryllis a glance.
He pulls a wand out from under the table.
“It’s a wand,” says the kid next to him, in case we’ve suddenly lost our ability to spot a wand.
A wand. Nice. I wonder how he got it. So I ask. “Where’d you get that?”
“I bought it” He tilts it back and forth.
Looks to be an EmberStick. So I tell him. “Looks to be an EmberStick.”
“It’s an Assassin Wand,” he says with a frown.
Humans. “That’s an EmberStick, kid.”
A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4) Page 25
