“Now hold on, Grim,” Rat starts. “Let’s not get hasty.”
I hop onto my stool and do a little jig. At Rat. “Best news of the week.” Then another thought occurs to me. Uh oh- the jig stops. “So, Drim, do you mean a month total, or a month after it was supposed to end?”
“Total.”
The jig starts back up again. “So I’ve only got three weeks to go! Rat? There’s no telling.”
Now Rat’s twitching his little bitty whiskers at me. “Grimbledung Sixtoes, that is not funny.”
“You two can finish this discussion later. Now we need to get going.” He waggles his finger at the both of us. “Grim, I’m going to go down and drag around that half-sized eyesore of a wagon. You two get out front. Grim you make Rat a ShetlandShambler and I’ll meet you there.”
“Got it, Drim.” That will get us there in style. I climb down the stool, holding my last piece of bacon. “Let’s go Rat. We’re going to show up in style!”
Rat doesn’t know. “Style?”
“Oh yeah; style. You’ll see.”
I pick up Rat and hop down the stairs. “We’re going to solve the mystery!” I tell Door as he opens. He clatters his latch. We get out into the street as Drimblerod comes around the side of the shoppe pulling our half-sized wagon. A bright red half-sized wagon. “Sleek!” I say.
“What have you done?” Asks Rat.
“Looks real sporty; just what an investigator of privates should be riding around in.”
“Nice and subtle, Grim,” said Drimblerod. He drops the thill of the wagon. “Let’s get going or we’ll be late.”
I pull out my (spare) wand. “Get in place Rat. We’re going to be late!”
Rat moves beside the thill, next to the harness. “Let’s go dole out some justice.”
I give him a nod as I start the incantation...
We race up to the building used for physical fitness. The large double doors are open and there are students milling around out front. More are already seated in the building itself. Several students turn to watch us approach. “Flashy, just like I said,” I say to Drimblerod.
Drimblerod nods. I could tell that he was enjoying the looks the sporty, bright red wagon got as we tore through the streets of Julesville. I am sure he’s not going to ask me to repaint it back to boring brown. I grab the handbrake and give it a stout tug. The back end of the wagon slides to the side as we skid to a stop making even more students turn and look.
Flashy!
Rat turns to look at us. “I think it’s faster now that it’s red.”
“Well, it’s common knowledge that red makes anything faster.”
Amaryllis walks up to the wagon. “I was worried you were going to be late.” She put her hand on my thigh. “Really worried.”
“Case in point,” says Drimblerod.
I start to say something back, but then realize; he’s right. “I’m fine Amaryllis.” I move her hand off my thigh so I can hop out of the wagon.
“Nice wagon,” said Terrance. He gives it a hearty looking-at. “It’s wizard!”
“Stop that,” I say to him. “I mean it.” I hop out of the wagon on one side as Drimblerod hops out the other. “Want back to a rat, Rat?”
Rat nods at me. “I’ll take going back so I can watch from the front row.”
I draw my wand. “Step back Amaryllis,” I say. I’d hate for some of the magic to leak out on her. Mom probably wouldn’t like it if she had whiskers or a tail.
I give my wand a flourish for the benefit of Amaryllis- or actually, my benefit with her mother.
Shambler Verdes
Transmutis Completes!
Rodentus Grigo
I hack my wand at him.
Amaryllis claps. “Neat!”
Oh yeah.
Big Julie is calling all the students to their seats as I put Rat on my shoulder. “Let’s go.” I motion to the front. As I go, I’m looking at students, hoping to see a shiner, or a bruise.
No such luck.
When I get to the platform, I spy Akita crouched there. I give him a nod. He gives me one back with a wink tacked on.
Nice.
“Any luck, Akita?” I whisper to him as Big Julie’s rambling on to the students about something school-ish.
“He’s there on the front row, near the end, to the left.”
“Left?”
He raises a paw and puts it on my shoulder. “That side. At the end. Little smug-looking Gnome.”
I look over. So does Rat.
“That’s the kid who bopped you on the head,” he whispers in my ear. “I’m sure of it.”
Nice.
I slip my wand from my sleeve as I move beside Big Julie. She’s still talking but now I think it’s about me--
“And I know you will all be relieved that the wand thefts will be stopping shortly.” She looks down at me. “Right?”
I give her a nod.
“Thanks to some excellent private investigative work, I might add,” she says to the students.
That’s me; Private Investigative. I give her a poke on her hip. “Told you I’d have it solved before lunch.”
“Lunch?”
“Right? That’s not for a little while still.” I pose. “Just like I said.”
She giggles at me. “I suppose so.” She looks back at the students. “So I’ll turn it over to... Grim Noir.” She gestures at me.
“That’s right, you Mooks. I’ve been watching you! Watching you all!” I say real loud-like so the ones in the back can hear me. “And I am here to reveal the thief!” I point my wand around the room, hoping I got them all.
The kids begin to murmur. It sounds like lunchtime. Without the snogging. I look up at the rafters. Well, there’s snogging going on there. But I know from personal experience, haylofts can be real romantical locations.
Big Julie gives me a nod. “On with it, Grim.”
I move to the front edge of the platform. I look at the sea of students. Or maybe it’s a lake. Definitely more than a pond, in any case. I give a glance at the perp. He seems bored. “So after a great deal of exhaustive investigative investigating, I have finally discovered the identity of the thief!”
The students all stare at me. I think they’re all too impressed to speak. I think it’s called ‘agog’.
So I continue: “And I’ll reveal them now!” I hop off the platform. I move away from the little smug Gnome, knowing he’s probably going to put up a big ruckus when he’s nabbed. I go to the opposite end of his row and a couple down then I cut in. “Justice is going to be served on a platter. With a side of comeuppance even!” I say as I walk across the laps of the students. It’s hard to keep my balance because they keep squirming as I step on them. “Oh yes! On a platter!” I shout as I make my way to the end of the row.
Mister wand thief is staring straight ahead as I hop off the last kid’s lap. “And he’s right here!” I lunge forward and grab the little scoundrel by the collar. “Collared!” Maybe that’s where that term comes from.
“Hey! Leggo of me!” The little criminal squeaks at me.
“Not so tough now, are you?” I give him a shake.
Just because.
“Grim?” Akita says.
I ignore him because I’m on a roll. “Now you’re going up the river, mister. To the pokey. The pen!”
The kid starts to cry.
Like that’s going to get him off. “You’ll probably get the chair.”
The kid sobs.
“And a table and a cot,” I finish. That’s usually what’s in a cell. “And maybe a bucket. But that’s it!”
“Grim?” Says Akita again.
He’s stealing my lightning. I give him a look. “I’m doling out justice here, Constable. What gives?”
He points at the kid that was sitting next to the one I just snatched up. I give that other kid a look. He’s got a black eye. “So this scoundrel of a thief assaulted that student as well??” I give the kid a shake. “That’s an extra year at leas
t!”
The kid sobs even louder.
“No Grim.” Akita points at that other kid again. The one with the shiner.
The.
One.
With.
The.
Shiner.
It’s a good thing I’m a professional and little details like that don’t escape me.
“Oh, I know, Flatfoot. I know.” I drop the kid I’m currently holding. “I was just getting close to the little perp without him suspecting I was onto...” I launch at Mister Shiner. “You, Mister Shiner!”
Mister Shiner gives reaches into his back pocket.
Not this time.
I slash my wand at it
When a pocket comes along
You must stitch it!
Before the blackjack sets to bonk,
you must stitch it!
Just stitch it!
Stitch it real good!
I intone.
The pocket closes up around his hand.
One down.
“All right you little rascal,” I pull the kid with me onto the platform. I want everyone to see me in my glory. “Let’s go! It’s time for the big reveal.”
Akita crouches down, ready for action, but I’ve got the kid by the collar. “So!” I say to the room. “When I first discovered wands were missing. I suspected Headmistress Julie!”
“What?”
I give her a nod. “But soon after, I decided it had to be one of you little urchins!” I give the kid a shake. “This perp in particular.”
“Stop doin’ that!” The little perpetrator complains.
“And thanks to some clues he left, he was easy to catch.” My mind goes blank. I give Rat a look.
“Only student’s wands missing, not professors,” he whispers.
“Only student’s wands were missing, not professors!” I declare.
“The dirt in the top room of the windmill,” Rat says.
“Right! The dirt in the top room of the windmill!” I proclaim. “And...”
“Me seeing him bonk you on the head?” Rat suggests.
I’m going to skip that one, I think. “Led me to this kid here!” The room is quiet as can be- you could hear a cricket tell you to follow your conscience. If they said such things. So I press on: “But, that’s not who he really is!” I give the kid a glance. “What’s your name again?”
“Hank,” says the little culprit.
“But that’s not who Hank really is!” Still nothing from the crowd. Maybe this will help. I waggle my wand at Hank.
Dis guy’s
Disguise
Unguise!
I intone.
Suddenly, Hank pops up twice his size and his head explodes into hair. The last thing to appear is a big floppy hat.
“The old miner!” Says Rat, Julie and Akita at the same time.
“So Hank,” I say to the miner.
“Ferty,” he corrects me.
“Ferty?” I ask. “That’s a male’s name?”
“Ferty Nainer.”
“You the guy who makes the rugs?” I ask. If he can make me a rug, I might get his sentence reduced.
“That’s Nain. My name’s Nainer.” He starts to take a step away from me.
Akita moves beside him. “Not so fast Mister Nainer. You’re not goin’ anywhere.”
“Except jail,” I correct smugly. I say it again, because that’s what you’re supposed to do in situations like this: “Except jail”.
Akita gives me a nod.
See?
“So why was he stealing all the wands if he had a mine?” Asked Julie.
I have no idea. I might as well take a blind guess: “Well, you see Julie, the mine wasn’t paying off and when he found out that your school was crawling with untraceable wands in the hands of easily robbed kids, he decided that wand filching was a much better use of his time.”
No one says anything. Maybe I’m getting it right. So I finish up: “And having the mine gave him a perfect place to store the wands until he resold them later on.” I point at Ferty. “Plus it gave him the perfect hiding place. Until he made the mistake of kidnapping my trusty Rat!”
Ferty shuddered with anger. “I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you, you meddling kid and your dumb rat!”
I give a deep bow as Akita leads the miner Ferty Nainer away.
The kids burst into applause.
Well, not the ones snogging in the rafters.
“Good one, Grim!” Says Julie.
“You said it toots. You said it.”[36]
She gives her eyebrows a workout that lets me know she likes being called that. Who wouldn’t?
Now there’s only one more thing for me to take care of.
“Let’s go get some drinks,” says Nulu.
I like that broad. “Lead the way,” I tell her. Because the view’s better...
Chapter 48
Only One More Sleep to the Jamboree?!
“What?” Grimbledung put his drink back on the table and leaned back in his chair. “What did you just say?” He was sitting with Drimblerod and Nulu on the ground-floor level of the Mora Tau Bar and BAR. “How can that be?” His feet hit the bottom of the table, keeping him from falling backward. It was one of the things he learned in school. One of the only things.
“You missed the entire planning committee for the jamboree, Grim, because you were in school all week,” explained Nulu.
“Whaaat?”
“You said it would take you a day to solve,” she reminded him. “A single day.”
“I said that before I was made tiny!” said Grimbledung. “To scale, I think it was a day.”
Nulu thought back. Considering the amount of time Grimbledung spent in the school actively doing anything, as opposed to being unconscious and in his bed, it was actually almost one entire school day. She just didn’t want to admit it. “Well, you can still enjoy your time at the jamboree without having spent all that time and energy helping plan it.” She smiled. “That’s even better, right?”
“Whaaaat!?”
“Just go and enjoy the festivities in the morning,” suggested Drimblerod. “That’s what I plan on doing.”
“Fine. But I’ll just go out and see how things are set up.”
“Grim...” Nulu shook her head. “Just leave well enough alone.”
“Well, if it’s well enough, I well will.” He let his chair clatter back onto all four legs. “I’m just popping around for a moment to make sure, that’s all.” He picked up his drink as he stood.
“Where are you going?”
“Just for a quick walk, Drim. Nothing important. Seeing the sights, breathing fresh air; all that.”
“We’re going to celebrate Colossus and Chéri’s engagement at the Jamboree, so don’t go muck it up.”
“You’re kidding! They are getting married?” Grimbledung gaped. “When did that happen?”
“Sometime around the time that Rat was kidnapped.”
“Well that’s a fine how-do-you-do, now isn’t it?”
“Grim, you can join in the celebration,” said Nulu. “We all will.”
“Well, I still should go check out...”
“Julie said to stay away from the jamboree,” warned Drimblerod.
Grimbledung raised his hands. “Jamboree? What jamboree?” He snapped his fingers. “Oh, right? I completely forgot about that. That’s soon, right?”
Drimblerod stared at him. “Julie said to stay away from the jamboree,” he tried again.
“I’m not going anywhere near it. I just need to see a guy about a thing. It’s not even near where they’re setting up not that I even know where that is because until you reminded me I had forgotten they were even going to have a jamboree somewhere here in town that I don’t even know where it is but I’m probably going to be on the other side of town from it because I had forgotten they even were going to have it because Julie said to forget about it so I did.” He smiled as innocently as he could manage.
“Right, right.” Grimbledung quickly left the store.
“I have a bad feeling about this,” Drimblerod said to Nulu.
“I have a feeling too,” said Nulu. “I have a feeling he stiffed us for his three drinks.”
Drimblerod nodded. He was thinking of how he could get away from the table so that Nulu would pay for his three as well. He looked around the establishment.
“Don’t you even think about it,” warned Nulu. “He’s your partner, remember.”
“That Gnome,” said Drimblerod as he fished out some coins.
Nulu laughed. “As long as he doesn’t try to cause a ruckus this late in the game...”
“That Gnome?” Drimblerod waggled his ears.
“Yeah, that Gnome.” Nulu downed the rest of her drink. “I’m going to make sure we’re ready for the Jamboree. You know we’ve a table set up as well.”
Drimblerod nodded. “Don’t worry, Nulu. I’m sure it will be fine.” He didn’t make eye contact with the Trolless.
Grimbledung snuck into the large open area that marked the center of town. There were several tables set up as well as two gazebos and several tents. It was a good start, but nothing like he expected. “Well, this is a good start, but nothing like I expected,” he said as he moved around the tables. A large tent with two large knives crossed over the opening signified the butcher had set up as well. “Barely set up,” corrected Grimbledung.
Grimbledung looked at the table. There was an assortment of meats and cheeses on the table, as well as some bread, but not enough to feed an entire jamboree. “A test fit, huh?” Grimbledung shook his head. “Anyone home?” Grimbledung called into the tent. The table was situated so that it blocked the entrance of the tent- allowing someone to bring food from the inside to the table without people in the way. “Hellooo!” He called. “Anyone home?”
A massive slab of a man filled the opening of the tent. He wore a typical butcher’s apron, albeit a clean one. “Whaahht you want,” he said in a heavy accent.
A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4) Page 33
