“What the hell, Crow?” I asked.
“You don’t understand,” he whispered. “It feels good. That’s why my old man did it. That’s why I did it. Together, when we’re in it, in the moment, when their moans turn to whimpers and then fade out completely, the life melting away from their eyes like snow. My god, Nate, it’s fucking beautiful!”
“Crow…”
“It’s pure, brother. Pure and real and fucking raw. There’s nothing bigger. What’s bigger than life and death? What’s bigger than taking it all away? What’s bigger than playing God? This club? These people? What they do is nothing. The real power lies in my hands. After years of life, in an instant, I can take it away, as if it never existed in the first place!”
My eyes glanced down at his grip on Olivia and I cringed when I saw he was holding onto her a little too hard. His words made my blood run cold.
I couldn’t believe the man I’d lived and worked next to, the man I trusted with my own life time and time again, would take the lives of innocent women.
It almost seemed like it wasn’t real, like it was all a bad dream that I desperately wanted to wake up from. When I heard Oliver squawk overhead, I knew there was no waking up from this nightmare.
“You understand what it’s like, Nate,” he said. “You have an old man like mine. It’s a lot to live up to.”
“My old man was nothing like yours,” I said, defensively.
“There’s not much difference,” he said, shaking his head.
“My old man didn’t mean to kill anyone,” I said.
“And yet, he did,” he smiled. “Come on, Nate. There’s nobody around. Admit it. Admit you wonder. Admit your curiosity. You want to know what it’s like, too.”
“No.”
“Come on, it’s okay. Tell me you’ve thought about it. Imagined what it might be like to squeeze the life from someone. To know that you and you alone decided that person’s fate.” His eerie smile made me sick. I reached for Olivia but he took a step back.
“I know men like you, Nate. You’re just like me. Like my old man. Like Asher. We’re killers. It’s in our blood. It’s in our fabric. It’s what we’re made of. Evil. Pain. Destruction.”
“You’re wrong.”
“I’m not wrong,” he said, shaking his head. “And I’m not done.”
“How about you put down the knife, Crow?”
“I will after I’ve killed you. Like I said, I’m not done. I’ve only killed four people and I told you — I have to make it to eight before I can stop. You’re not a chick, but you’ll do. This owl just might count for something too! My old man is going to be so fucking proud of me!” He smiled brightly, beaming at the mention of his father.
I had no idea he was so fucked up.
I missed it completely.
Guilt washed over me. I never should have brought him into the God’s orbit. They’d never trust us again. Whatever future we thought we had with them was over and now, once again, we’d be left floundering and lost, the one good chance at redemption with the God’s ripped away with Crow’s sick bullshit.
Looking over at him, I knew what I had to do. There was no way I was going to let this man cause any more harm than he’d already caused.
If he was going to kill anyone else, including that owl, he was going to do so over my dead body.
“Go ahead then,” I growled. “Kill me.”
CHAPTER 48
DONNA
Grace rounded everyone up and we tromped off into the woods like a pack of wolves with flashlights.
“Maybe we should split up,” Shadow said.
“No, we need to stick together. It’s too dark,” I said.
And was it. Without the flashlights, we wouldn’t have been able to see five feet in front of us. The pines and firs blocked out any faint light the moon may have provided, and we stepped carefully down the trail.
Growing up in Portland, one gets used to the wilderness. You learn to look out for wildlife the deeper you get into the woods. But when it gets dark? Well, you stay off the trails as much as possible, unless you’re looking to have an up close and personal interaction with creatures that only go bump in the night.
I was not one of those.
I stuck to the trails, never venturing into dangerous terrain, despite the best efforts of various friends over the years. Those boundaries are there for a reason. It went right along with the theory of following the rules that my father instilled in me.
So, trampling through the woods way past sunset was way out of my comfort zone. Sure, I was a rugged Oregon girl, but I wasn’t crazy.
Or was I?
I’d found myself in knots, running through the woods, trying to find the guy I’d had unprofessional, mind-blowing sex with just hours ago, and hoping some deranged man hadn’t murdered him yet.
Was Crow the killer? I still didn’t know. But I wanted a good look at that tattoo and I wanted Valerie to hear his voice. Once I’d determined if he was our guy or not, I’d be able to move on.
And I planned to move right on under the covers with Nate again as soon as it was all over with…
That’s why I was tied up in knots, my stomach convulsing in fear, a combination of lust and fear all rolled up into one that made me want to puke for the first time in my entire career.
I’d let this happen.
I’d gotten emotionally involved. I’d opened my arms and welcomed him into my bed, despite knowing better.
Now, here I was paying the price by getting sized up by unknown predators hiding in the darkness, just waiting to pounce on us.
“Are you sure this is the right trail?” I asked Shadow. He’d insisted he’d seen them go down this way and I wanted to make sure that if I got eaten by a mountain lion trying to save Nate, I was at least on the right path.
“Yes, but once we get just up ahead, it forks. I don’t know which way they would have gone.”
“Shit,” Ryder muttered under his breath ahead of me. “He’s right. They could be anywhere.”
“Let’s call their names,” I said. “And I’ll call emergency services and get search and rescue out here.”
“We don’t know they’re in trouble,” Grace said.
“We don’t know they aren’t,” I replied. Grace looked over her shoulder at me, nodding.
“Okay, you’re right,” she said. I pulled out my phone to call for help and heard a faint sound in the distance.
“Did you hear that?” I said. “Everyone stop!”
We froze in place, listening in the darkness.
A loud scream broke through the trees.
“Is that a woman?” I whispered. It was loud and shrill and violent.
With a loud squawk, it cried out again.
“That’s an animal,” Ryder said. “An owl, I think…”
“Oliver?” Grace asked, concern rising in her voice.
“Maybe,” he said. “Let’s go this way.”
We followed behind him, all of us bumping into each other. Although a lot of the Gods were gone, Grace had recruited Bones, Shadow, Blade, Eli and Riot to help us search.
I looked over at Eli as we made our way towards the sound and he looked terrified.
“You’re worried,” I said.
He nodded, his face tight with tension.
“Why?”
“Just something my old man said about Crow,” he shook his head. “Just a feeling, I don’t know.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said.
I wanted to say more. I didn’t know how much Nate had told him. If he even knew we’d slept together, if he knew I was falling for him…
Whatever was out there kept screaming. The closer we grew to it, the more violent and urgent it became. If this was an owl, it was a sound I’d never heard any owl make in my life.
“This way,” Ryder said, breaking out into a run. He was in front leading the way, his light illuminating the path. We followed blindly, thankful to have such a confident leader. When he skidded to a sto
p, we smashed into each other, gathering around to see what he was looking at.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
I pushed through, standing next to him, my eyes adjusting to the sight in front of me. My training told my brain what to do before I’d fully assessed what I was looking at.
The incessant squawking overhead didn’t help.
Crow held Nate in front of him, a huge hunting knife held to his throat, the blade glinting from the lights pointed their way.
And there I was, steps in front of everyone, my gun drawn and pointed directly at their heads.
“Drop the knife!” I barked. At least I think it was me. I’d moved so quickly, I think we were all confused. I felt the presence of the Gods behind me and was oddly comforted.
The look on Crow’s face told me everything I needed to know.
“Fuck off,” he growled.
I took a deep breath, realizing I had two options. I could shoot, take the suspect down completely — which normally, I would have done already. Or, I could try to talk to him. The fact that he was a holding a knife to a man that I desperately wanted to remain alive clouded my judgement.
My father would have been so disappointed if he could see me hesitating.
“Why are you doing this, Crow?” I asked. “Let’s talk.”
“Talk?” he snapped. My eyes remained on the tip of the blade pressed against Nate’s neck. I hadn’t looked Nate in the eye yet. I couldn’t. Not till it was over. If I looked at him now, I’d break down and that couldn’t happen.
“Yeah, let’s talk,” I said. “What’s going on?”
“It’s your fuckin’ fault, lady!” he shouted. My eyes took a quick glance down at his feet, and I saw another owl, wrapped in his t-shirt. My eyes snapped back up, no longer annoyed by the incessant squawking from above.
“Why is it my fault?”
“Because you arrested the wrong guy.”
I nodded.
“Okay, tell me more,” I said. “Are you the right guy?”
“Of course!”
“You killed those women?”
“Yes!”
“Okay,” I said, my eyes glued to the tip of that knife, my finger pressing lightly against the trigger of my gun. “Why?”
“Because that’s what I was born to do.”
“Why do you think that?”
“My old man made me this way. He showed me what I was made of. I’m just like him.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“It’s too late.”
“No, it’s not,” I said.
“I’m not finished,” he replied. “I have to kill eight people. Nate here is number five.”
“Why eight?”
“Because my old man killed seven. You ask a lot of fucking questions.”
“I’m just trying to get to know you,” I said. “And you know what I think, Crow? I think you’re better than your father. Because you killed less than him. Why don’t you stop now, while you’re better, not worse? He killed those women and it made him less of a man. Don’t you want to be better? To do better?”
His eyes flashed with anger and confusion, and he shifted from one foot to the other, shaking his head, the tip of the knife pressing a little further into Nate’s neck, millimeters from his jugular.
I swallowed hard, my heart racing as I tried to figure out what to do.
“Crow, I have an idea. Let’s both be better, okay? I understand about fathers. My father’s an FBI agent, too. If he was here, he’d tell me I should have already killed you. And I haven’t. You know why? Because I’m trying to be a better human. You can, too. Let’s do it together.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
“Crow, I know you’re a good man. You wouldn’t be a God if you weren’t. Nate and Eli consider you family, they told me. All of you in the club. They trust you. And they trust you because they know you’re a good man.”
“I’m not good.”
“You’re not perfect. But nobody is, Crow. I’m not. Nate’s not.” The urge to look at Nate was overwhelming, but I held Crow’s gaze as steady as I could. “Isn’t that what Solid Ground and being a God are about anyway? Second chances. Redemption. Coming back from a past you never asked for? This doesn’t have to be your life. You can be better than that. Maybe you’ve fallen, maybe you’ve stumbled. But we all do that. The honor comes when you learn to get back up after you’ve fallen. I think the Gods understand that.”
“We do,” Ryder said, standing beside me. “Put the knife down, Crow.”
He shook his head, his eyes searching mine.
“I’ll do it first,” I said, holding my gun up in the air. “I’ll put my gun down. Then you put down the knife.”
It was risky, I knew that. My father’s face flashed in my head and I pushed it away. Now wasn’t the right time to follow the rules.
Now was the time to listen to my gut.
Okay, so my gut told me putting down my gun was the stupidest thing I could do, but I needed Crow to take that knife away from Nate’s throat.
With trembling fingers, I laid the gun on the ground in front of my feet and slowly, I stood up. From my right, I felt Ryder shift, and I hoped like hell he’d also brought a gun to this knife fight.
“Now, it’s your turn, Crow,” I said, holding up my hands. “Put down the knife.”
He looked over at us and for a split second, I thought he might actually do it. A slow, tight smile spread across his face, but then he shook his head.
“You don’t understand,” he said. “I’m already like him. Like my old man. The first woman I killed made me just like him.”
“Then why’d you keep going?”
He burst out laughing, a low, deep, evil laugh that sent birds flying from the trees overhead.
“Because it feels fucking amazing!”
His moved his hand, just a quick, sudden flick of the wrist, the sharp knife piercing the skin and sliding across Nate’s flesh. Narrow ribbons of crimson poured from the wound.
Time stopped.
A flash of a bullet ripped through the air and Crow fell to the ground, releasing Nate as he collapsed next to him. I ran to him, falling to my knees, my hands pressing against his neck.
He stared up at me, our eyes crashing together as I looked at him for the first time. Crow lay motionless beside us and Ryder stood over him, a smoking gun at his side. A shirtless Bones sank down beside me, replacing my hands with his and pressing his t-shirt around Nate’s neck. Blood poured from his neck, soaking the shirt immediately.
“Nate, you’re going to be okay, just hold on,” I cried, tears falling down my cheeks. A crowd of shocked Gods stood behind me.
Nate stared up at me, his eyes wide and alert.
“Stay with me, babe,” I said.
He reached up, grabbing one of my hands and pulling it close to his heart.
“I l —,” he began, his lips trembling as he tried to speak.
“No, don’t talk!” I said, smiling down at him and squeezing his hand. “It’s all going to be okay, I promise.”
I bent down and kissed his forehead. He started to close his eyes.
“Nate, stay with us, brother,” Bones said. “I’ve got you, I promise.”
“Is he going to be okay, Bones?” Grace asked. She’d picked up Olivia and was cradling her in her arms.
“We’re Gods, Grace,” Bones replied. “We might fall temporarily, but we always rise back up.”
EPILOGUE
One Month Later
“Okay, nobody move, or she’ll get too freaked out,” Bones said. “I don’t want her to thrash around too much.”
The Gods stood around him as he unlatched the cage he’d placed on the picnic table outside the clubhouse.
After making sure Nate and Crow were both stable and in capable hands on the way to the hospital, Bones had done a quick assessment of Olivia. She’d broken a wing, probably the result of an attack by a fox or a cat. After a stay at the vet to get patched up, B
ones had taken Olivia in and nursed her back to health. Her wing was healed now and it was time for her to be released back to Oliver and into the wild.
Oliver had been lingering and pacing outside the cabin for a month now, never venturing too far away. Today, he somehow knew what all the fuss was and as soon as he saw the cage brought outside, he began squawking as loud as he had the night Olivia was injured.
Bones lifted the gate and Olivia took a few hops forward, stopping at the edge of the cage and looking around. She glanced over at Nate, standing with his arms wrapped around Donna, sporting a bright pink scar on his neck. They smiled at each other, happy to witness Olivia’s first return to the woods.
“You’re free,” Bones whispered. “Go on!”
Tentatively, she took a step forward, her claws clicking against the table. Oliver screamed again and with a heavy woosh, he flew down and landed next to her. They touched beaks and he leaned into her neck, appearing to sniff her.
She stretched her wings, opening them wide and then folding them in again, before turning once more to look up at Bones.
“You can do it,” he nodded. She pushed off from the table, her wings spreading and carrying her high up into the air, as Oliver followed close behind. They disappeared into the trees as a chorus of cheers rang up from the Gods.
Their celebration was bittersweet.
Crow had been charged with all the murders and he likely wouldn’t see a life outside of prison for a very long time, if ever. The revelation of his crimes had issued a huge blow to the Gods.
Donna stayed by Nate’s bedside every night for two weeks, until Bones finally felt comfortable enough to release him to her care. He’d come close to dying, but with expert care from Bones and Donna, he’d go on to make a full recovery, despite the scar he was left with.
Donna and Grace had worked out their differences, and once Grace saw how much Donna and Nate cared for each other, she gave them her blessing.
Donna’s family, Randolph and the folks at the Bureau were going to need a little more time to get comfortable with the idea of her being in love with an outlaw biker.
Neither of them cared. They had all the time in the world.
FALLEN GOD_GODS OF CHAOS MC_BOOK EIGHT Page 15
